YSD's Random Thoughts of the Night (11-1-11)

[YoSpankDawg]

1) TODAY
Today's date is one one, one, one one. In three hours (PST) when it is 11:11pm I am going to have a nerdgasm.

2) JP
When my Steam restarted tonight I saw that there is a Jurassic Park game coming out soon. Good job, Telltale Games, you're only 18 years late on that one. Way to be on the ball.

3) Flipper
So that Dolphin Tale movie that came out recently...in the commercials they said the chances of survival were "one in a million." Seems a bit arbitrary, doesn't it? How many times had this been done in the past for that to be said? I am pretty sure this is the only time an artificial tail has been put on a dolphin, so doesn't that make the chances of it working.....1 in 1?

4) "Man caves"
First of all...this term annoys the crap out of me. Does any man actually call the area where he hangs out with friends, his "man cave"??? Usually it's just "the den" or "the TV room" or something generic like that. No man should ever call it his "man cave."

Next..."decor in the 'man cave'"...pretty easy:
1) TV
2) Couch/chairs
3) Fridge
4) Video game systems
5) Light source (optional)

That's it. Nothing else. There is no such thing as a "mainly" knick-knack for bookshelves or tables. Bookshelves are for books. Tables are for magazines and remote controls. Trophies might be seen but they go on an aptly-named trophy case.

Hey, uh...Spank...where is all of this coming from, bro? GLAD YOU ASKED...

5) Holiday gift magazines

I both love, and hate these things. They have random junk in them and try to display it as the COOLEST.THING.EVER. In fact, I have free time tonight and I am bored, so I am going to supplement this post with additional posts. Of what? Some of my favorite items to make fun of, of course! Feel free to play along...

 

[BeeF915]

Forget holiday gift magazines, Sky Mall is where it's at!

Don't tell me there is one thing in there you don't want, except this thing>

Its kinda scary.

 

[YoSpankDawg]

QUILTED SUEDE FURNITURE COVERS

Why spend $5.00 (tops) on two towels when you could spent $30.00 on this thing! Comes complete in not-the-same-color-as-your-couch!




Sets Of 2 M&M's? Super Size Mugs

Why does America have a weight problem? This is why. "You know what your M&M consumption needs? MUGS. YOU NEED TO EAT M&MS BY THE MUG-FULL!"Oh, not just the mug-full--the SUPER-SIZE mug-full.




Seasonal Lighted Lanterns

A snowman...with flames inside. This makes perfect sense. Morbid.




Looks So Real Play Food Sets

"Why America is so Fat 2.0" Hey, so what's for dinner? HOW ABOUT EVERY DESSERT KNOWN TO MAN?!




Book Of Optical Illusions

"...jammed packed full of images you can find on the internet for free!" Actually I think this entire catalog is a book of optical illusions itself, as in "how do they sell this stuff?"

 

[YoSpankDawg]

Glass Popcorn Popper

What makes eating popcorn better? Put it in a container you can make hotter than a volcano's anus! Oh, and of course the top has to be reallll small so you are guaranteed to burn your hand with each delicious bite!




Photo Memorial Ornaments

"Remember grandpa in death the same way you did in life--see him one time a year." What if your loved one were lynched? Would you really want to memorialize them by hanging them from a tree?




In The Woods Bath Ensemble

You know how the saying goes..."Does a moose bathe in the woods?"...or something like that.




Whoopie Pie Pan Or Cookbook

You want me to eat a...."whoopie pie"? Gross. I think I am gonna throw u....oh wait, they're like a huge Oreo? Oh, I'm in.




NFL Flat Wallets

"Somebody stole my wallet!"
"Well, Jim, to be fair, it did say 'Steelers' on it."

 

[YoSpankDawg]

Peace Sign Or Love Room Accents

Show peace what you think of it by drooling or walking all over it.




Interactive Teacup™ Piggies

Interactive what-nows?




Sentiment Wall Plaques

Nothing is more sentimental than partial sentences.




Nativity Figurine Sets

Because without Mary, you just have "Oy".




Art Glass Wine Bottle Stoppers

Nothing goes with alcohol quite like sharp glass objects.

 

[Boyle]

Funny!! Too funny!!

 

[BeeF915]

Whoopie Pie Pan Or Cookbook

You want me to eat a...."whoopie pie"? Gross. I think I am gonna throw u....oh wait, they're like a huge Oreo? Oh, I'm in.

The Amish make them up in PA and OMG they are sooooooo good.

 

[YoSpankDawg]

NFL Pro Toasters

I always said my toast was missing an NFL logo in it.




Classic Licensed Comfy Throw™

Is Mickey trying to cop a feel?




God Never Blinks Book

"An informative guide to how God always wins staring contests."




Sets Of 2 NFL Shot Glasses

For when your team suddenly decides to go from being good to driving you to drink.




900-Ct. Assorted Zots? Adhesive Dots

Who doesn't want to spend Christmas putting little dots all over everything?!

 

[YoSpankDawg]

Man Cave Stool Or Neon Light

Fan-fricken-tastic. I sure wish my hang-out room were labeled as a "man cave" with a loud, gaudy neon light. At least it doesn't have a drawing of a mountain with a cave in it, as if I were too retarded to know what a cave is...




Build A Working Wood Vehicle Kits

Give the gift of RAAAAAAGE this Christmas! Seriously, dad hated building your bike ten years ago, so now that he has arthritis and his eyesight is worse, let's give him something really small to build..."for fun"...BWHAHAHAHA.




Favorite Family Recipe Keepers

Favorite family holiday recipes? But it's covered in pictures of wine... "Yeah, sounds about right."




History Channel DVD Mega Sets

Hey, if your holidays are like mine, every year is like a Civil War reenactment.




Feathered Attitude Signs

Oh snap! You just got told by my small, fuzzy, giraffe!

 

[YoSpankDawg]

51-Pc. Gourmet Dog Treat Gift Box

Get some fancy snacks specially-made just for that one member of the family who licks his own crotch! You're not wasting your money at all with this one!




La Newborn? Real Life Doll Set

My Uncle Lester got his own real-life doll one time. I wonder whatever happened to him... Last I heard, he was going to be living by himself in "the state of Kansas" for about 20 years. I wonder how people knew how long he'd live there.




Women's Camouflage Pajama Sets

This is actually a practical gift...if your room gets dirty enough for these to actually work as camo, then it's time to clean.




Wine Bottle Candelabra

I saw something just like this once. They called it a...monotone? Moldy? Molo-something cocktail.




Fill'er Up Gas Station

Kids really are growing up too fast these days. Because there are toys like this that simulate pumping gas? No, because toys like this need to include stickers for "No cell phones" and "No smoking".

 

[YoSpankDawg]

Ok, that's all for now. More to come later, so stay tuned! Let's hear your snarky comments too.

 

[Kiwi]

Ok, that's all for now. More to come later, so stay tuned! Let's hear your snarky comments too.

Will a ?wow you have way too much time spank? comment do?

 

[YoSpankDawg]

Will a ?wow you have way too much time spank? comment do?

We're grading on complete lack of originality or creativity, so that'll do just fine.

 

[A n o n]

'i liked when you said "lights optional." I say neon beer sign mandatory

 

[Dutchoper72]

>_O

 

[Sumac]

I like it. It was creative and made me laugh.

 

[Spartacus_Legolas]

Should make another one of these posts for 11/11/11

 

[Ravage]

Ok, that's all for now. More to come later, so stay tuned! Let's hear your snarky comments too.

I'm to busy laughing to come up with any snarky comments.

 

[Nosh]

Man Cave Stool Or Neon Light

Fan-fricken-tastic. I sure wish my hang-out room were labeled as a "man cave" with a loud, gaudy neon light. At least it doesn't have a drawing of a mountain with a cave in it, as if I were too retarded to know what a cave is...

This says, "My wife decorated my man cave!"
or
"My wife created this room to hide me in when she has her friends over for craft night!"



... oh dang, how did I come up with those so quickly.

 

[Psychosoldier9]

Sets Of 2 M&M's? Super Size Mugs

Why does America have a weight problem? This is why. "You know what your M&M consumption needs? MUGS. YOU NEED TO EAT M&MS BY THE MUG-FULL!"Oh, not just the mug-full--the SUPER-SIZE mug-full.

My mom actually has the red one, it's her favorite coffee mug :mellow:

And as for the Jurassic Park game, my inner-child needs a new pair of pants. :drool:
Man, I loved those movies as a kid!