Tf2 Poetry

[Sgt Palameta]

Ok guys let's hear / see the best tf2 funny poetry you can come up with. Make it about a jarate to the face . A bonk to remember. Let's make em good and memorable.

 

[Sgt Palameta]

A light starts to flicker,
from the nozzle it came,
his hair caught on fire ,
and fried up his brain.
The spy was so scared,
he hid with his cloak,
but the arrow in his back,
said it was no joke.
He slowly fell down,
a painful demise,
the heavy disguise ,
he always dispised .
A respawn commenced,
with a capture to save,
Boom headshot it came ,
Brain salad we crave.

 

[Ballzac]

Roses are red..
Violets are blue..
Sugar is sweet..
And HUDDA HUDDA HU!

 

[Artinz]

I was getting that ubercharge,
when a little man hit me in the head,
and then a man that was very large,
came and made me dead.
I wanted my revenge and tried,
but that little scout kept coming back,
and I just died.
But what he did lack,
and what I had
was a grenade!
So he had it bad,
when dead he was made.
And the next thing I saw,
I dominated the scout,
I layed down the law,
and made him pout.

Sorry best I could do...

 

[xosniper]

Roses are red
violets are blue
Nerf that damn force of nature because it kills me and knocks me back and nubs use it /ragelog

 

[Quaffer]

So I healed up all the wounded
And I did it pretty well
'Till that demo and his 'nades
Went and blew me all to hell
As we sit and wait for respawn
I've a little tale to tell

'Twas a spy who came a creepin,
May they audit his accounts,
Toward an engy and his sentry
Set up in his favorite haunts

With his lectro zapper ready
He approached them from the rear
While the engy's wrench was tappin
And he dreamed of brats and beer

When a pyro came upon them
And he bathed them all in flame
And the poor spy turned quite rosey
Just remember it's a game

And the moral of the story
If your listening at all
Is be sure to check behind you
Or you too will know the fall.

 

[iGreen]

I spent a while on this. Enjoy;

There once was lived a sniper, an Aussie through and through,
His closest friend, a rifle - Ruger M77 Mark II,
He’ll stalk around the map at will and find a hiding place,
You’ll only ever find him when he gets a headshot to your face.

He was always a bit of a lonely child; his parents didn’t really care,
He didn’t do sports, he wasn’t all that bright, but he had a gift so rare,
At a young age his Uncle took him out, they shot Koala, Dingo and Wombat,
With steady hands and a pair of sharp eyes, he was unmatched at ranged combat.

He was never much of a city slicker; he loved the great outdoors,
He didn’t really care for authority much; he lived by his own laws.
These days he travels from town to town in his ungainly Caravan,
He does bounties, assassinations and the rest. He takes what work he can.

The Sniper’s ruthless, efficient and daring; he never gives up on his prey,
So make the most of your time my friend, because it could be you today!
This Sniper’s at the top of his game, try and cross him if you dare
You can never be sure if he’s about, so duck, run and cover. Take care!

The Sniper may have a weakness you know, something we must verify,
We’ve brought a specialist from Europe here; we hear he’s an excellent Spy.
A cry rings out from the battlements; this vulnerability would seem to be true.
So Snipers beware, the moral here? Look out for that Frenchman behind you!

​

I would like to dedicate this to snipers everywhere, but especially =(e)= wats, because i spent most of yesterday dominating him whilst he was sniper on Gravelpit.

 

[iGreen]

Roses are red
violets are blue
Nerf that damn force of nature because it kills me and knocks me back and nubs use it /ragelog

Very... poetic?

 

[midget31394]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
that spy's a spy,
oh crap!
You are too.

 

[Thereven]

There once was a scout from Nantucket
Who kept all his Bonk in a bucket
Ran around with a bat
Got a crit through his hat
Then finished this limerick and got banned.

 

[Jimoo]

There once was a scout from Nantucket
Who kept all his Bonk in a bucket
Ran around with a bat
Got a crit through his hat
Then finished this limerick and got banned.

Favorite.

-Jimoo

 

[Afterburn]

I play TF2
And I play as a Pyro
Oh crap, FAN

 

[Veldron]

As much as a rocket to the face is something to fear
There is another weapon killing me all year
To think that a puny scout is the source of my troubles
Because his OP FAN always shoots in doubles
He'll shoot in our faces, He'll shoot in our backs
But being 2-shoted at a range is what this FAN packs
So the scout is unchallanged, it's all I can say
But I'll be ****ed if they aren't going to pay

 

[Sgt Palameta]

A scout drank his bonk juice and ran,
just a blur i could see and a can,
A sentry he met,
took back just one step,
and train god ran over his head

 

[JiveMoose]

I once healed a pyro
He was mighty indeed,
I called out my uber to be ready,
He then promptly died to a doorway of stickies,
I cried, and wept
all through the night
But when he came back, all the enemies screamed in fright,
for Jive Moose, and Sgt Pal,
Are Pals, forever and always.

-wrote in 2 minutes dedicated to Sgt, <3 you.

 

[Sgt Palameta]

you the man jive