a little about me -Silent_Predator

Silent_Predator

EGO Addict
I will begin by stateing I am an alcoholic and drug addict.... in recovery.

I am an alcoholic and drug addict, useiog to cover up lifes issues. Im an in treatment now for PTSD/OCD/Bi-Polar Disorder. I am at most times very sad. What follows is some of my trials and tribulations:

I was an active duty soldier from Sept 92 to Sept 96 - In most part I enjoyed my job. At the onset of my enlist I worked with the Vulcan cannon... aka mini-gun. I was good at my job. Shortley after enlistment, the Vulcan was retired(the systems were given to S Korea, they made them bad ass with active radar) anyway.... I was issued a Bradley M2A1 - my new home.. my baby. My Bradley was my Home, it was my friend, and it would save my life if I needed it to. I was the gunner.... it was my system, the main gun, the MG, the smoke... and I was good at my job.... I was well awarded for my actions behind the gun( I had the 3rd higest range score in Ft Hood)... I received Army Commendation awards, Army Achievement awards, I helped fight the worst Forest Fire on Fort Hood...... I was ordered to Guantanamo Bay Cuba in July 94 to provide Riot Control during the height of the Haitian Migratian.

While in GITMO, Cuba... I met many Haitians of character, a US Senator, gave his freedoms to help his people. I met Drs, lawyers... I met the highest and lowest of the population. I made friends. One day made me so sad.... a couploe that I had been talking to.. they wanted me to take their baby to America. They were going to throw their baby across the Razor wire to me... I stepped in and took her in my arms. I stepped out of the wire and admired this beautiful child and I cried. I could not take this child, I had a job to perform. I handfed her back to the parents and told them to wait a moment. IO climbed back up into muy tower and desended with some food for them and their child. They were grateful, and in the 6 months I got to know them well.

These people taught me about themselves and about their people.


I had to respond to several camp riots... in which my friends and my friends got hurt. It hurt me to do my duty, but I did it.

One faitful day, 4 camps broke out, 30,000 Haitians stormed the airfield... they wanted our weapons. They wanted to leave.... They first saw us in our Observatyion Towers and they wanted us to die. They tried to topple our towers but could not. So, they started to climb our OP ladders to get us. For 3 hours I hid behind my riot shield at the top of mu ladder and banged my riot batton as hard as I could to keep them away from me.

About a month later, Fidel Castro opened his borders to those that wanted to defect. At nthe hi-point, we had 25,000 Cubans. Before my next statement, I had never seen what gunfire does to a person. -- The Cubans broke camp 1 day. The could smell Burgiong King on Base and they wanted real food. 8,000 Cubans broke out and walked to BK. The Marines were called out. They warned them to go back to camp. They did not. They Shot Them. Several died and many injured. These people werent my enemy!

There is much more, byt these things stand in my mind the strongest tonight.

Matt.
Silent_Predator

To this day - I dont trust people... I fear the population. I stay home always..... I have no trust,. people tried to kill me, in my face!! Id rather have been shot at./
 
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I fear the general population.... and it saddens me.... the only trust I have is in alcohol - it allows me to be...me .. I hold no trust for anyone beyond my house. Fear is my life. And now we face eviction...

I have apps in to SSI and SSID and the VA but nothing is comeing in yet... we are in dire straits

Im an in fear for my family

any help my DoD brothers may offer is a blessing. Everything goes to the family


we have 3 kids, 14,7,4

in 2001/ 9/11 I was so sad... I wanted to help so bad! All I felt was Hatred.
 
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man a lot has happen to you but you are still alive and getting through it so keep it in man i know you can do it!
 
Hang in there buddy, although the road may be rough sometimes, eventually you'll hit that fresh pavement, Thanks for your service to this country and i wish you best of luck in your future.
 
I can tell you from experience that there are moments in life that make you feel great to be alive and some that drag you down to indescribable levels of grief. I cannot say I can relate to your experiences but I have had my share of turmoil and grief. My only brother has serious addiction problems and one of the hardest things I had to do was to kick him out of my place and cut him off. I can only hope that you can change your life for the better and one day open yourself to people again. It seems like you’re on that path and I’m glad to hear it!

When I’m down I always tell myself “Hell, if I’m this low now, I guess it just gets better from here!”
 
Thanks for everything you've done. As I once was also an alcoholic, I know it's a rough patch and hard to get rid of the urge. I hope your recovery works out the way you want it to, and know you've got friends here.
 
Thanks guys..... I appreciate the understanding and friendship this community has shown me. My addictions have almost resulted in my death 3 times now. All from consumption, no vehicle involved. Personally, I am surprised I am alive. I have held many jobs I have hated, but was too afraid to leave as I fear the unknown. I would rather have been shot at... I would have atleast knew who my enemys was and defend myself accordingly. But humantairian actions are very different. As I was tasked with riot control.... my job included duties I did not enjoy. I fear people, because, I learned and got to know these men,children and woman as people... talking to them and getting a better understanding of our unique cultures. When the riots would happen... my only thought was self-preservation. Do whatever I had to to get back out the camp in 1 piece. I have no faith in people as a result of the many riots. I had no enemy, I was here to help them. So when the riots took place... I began haveing to face people that I had gotten to know. To me, I was nothing to these people,.... they wanted out and I was not going to let it cost my life. I to this day, do not know if I ever killed or hurt anyone in a riot. I am assumeing, due to the severity of some of the actions taken during a few of the riots.... my safety was in jeopardy and I used any force neccasary to ensure my own safety. There were instances in which the people, broke out of camp, ran off the cliffs, onto the rocks and beach below.... trying to get into the water and swim away. It was thought by them that the other side of Guantanamo Bay was Florida. It was not, FL is 76 miles away from Cuba. I witness human beings eaten and attacked by sharks. I saw much death. I saw much damage in riots taken by my friends and collegues. I was lucky to get away from the mission with only mental scars.. and they are hard to heal.

I like that this community has allowed me to open up. I talk to fellow edgegamers in vent.. Ive gotten to know most through our realisms and other DoD:S activities. But it has given me the chance to not be so alone. I enjoy the comaradere of this division and as the community as a whole.

I will be posting more of my story as the days go by. Some will make you laugh. Others will make you sad. But everything I will be writeing here, actually happened.

Thanks guys for letting me vent my ills and frustrations of life.

Matt.
Silent_Predator
 
well, its a new day..... and a new story. My 1st MOS(military occupation speciatly - aka job, lol) was on the Vulcan Cannon. An amazeing gun fireing 100 rounds a second. seen here:

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XHsFe1Abk2A&feature=PlayList&p=EB73BF792803DE67&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=42[/ame]

After the Vulcan I was a Bradley driver and later a Bradley Gunner, an e4 in a Sgts position. It is an amazeing feeling to get 25 tons of metal to go 60mph. I used to do jumps with my Bradley when we were comeing home from a field problem. Let me say that the Bradley chain-gun is just an awesome weapon. Capable of reaching out to targets 2+ miles away with deadly accuaracy. Loaded out with both Armor Piercing and Hi Explosive rounds(consider each HE round equals 1 handgrenade in explosive power) as well as a free floating 7.62mm machine gun. Standard load out for the machine gun is 2200 rounds with 900 main gun rounds available, 300 of these ready to fire. Weapon selection is controlled by a box between the TC and the gunner, it allows for selection of main gun ammo, hi,low or single shot fire, smoke grenade launchers and Tow missle system. The Tow missle is a fly-by-wire guided missle that has a shaped charge and blows downward upon detonation. The usual tactic to kill a tank is fly the missle just above the turret, the missle itself has a basic metal detector built within it and is the trigger for the weapon when above its taget.

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNakka2GN6M&feature=fvw[/ame]

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWl0ri2prKE[/ame]



I had 0 gun time prior to my first range. I had never gunned in the simulator ( called the UCOFT ) let alone live fire. My skills at video games came in handy, lol. Out of a possible 1000 points, I scored a 976 - the 3rd Highest Bradley range score on Ft Hood. I received several awards for my skills behind the gun, Army commendation award and Army achievement medal being 2 of them. At this point, I was in love with my weapon system. I began working with the Battalions Master Gunners and learned the weapon system from an electrical standpoint. I knew how to fire the system by just jumping pins in the connector. It was invaluable information.

As I was ETSing(End Time in Service) we began fielding these, the Bradley Linebacker: a Bradley with a Stinger Missle pod instead of Tow antitank missles.

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaB8PAp6VvQ[/ame]

on average, we ran with the M1 Abrams tanks and these fellows came along for the ride aswell:

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_f4Vnq0GLsY[/ame]

The sight system for the M2s main gun is nitrogen cooled.... takeing temps down to sub-freezeing to make use of its thermal imageing. Thermal imageing was the only way to go when it came time to shoot. Thermals stand out well in a red/black enviroment.... though I would use white/black at times. Day sights, or open sights, just werent feasible as the sight to use in live fire situations. Colors blend in real life... and anything alive produces heat, so imageing by heat signatures worked the best.

The Bradley is capable of takeing out and destrying helicopters, trucks, light tanks(T-54/55,T-62,T-80 etc....) if it has wheels or tracks, the Bradley can dispose of it. When useing the machine gun for "troops in the open" we would fire whats called a Z pattern. We would spray the area makeing a Z pattern - this pattern would ensure the death of atleast 75% of the enemy troops. It is feasable to use the Z pattern with HE rounds when faceing troops aswell. HE rounds would ensure a higher kill rate vs the machine gun.

gun commands are as follow:

TC(track commander)- Gunner, HE, Truck 2200 meters,
gunner- "indentified truck 2200 meters"
TC - Fire....
gunner - on the way
and I would then commence to walking my rounds in a destroying my taget.

Gunner, troops in the open(we could use either HE rounds or the machine gun)
identified troops
fire
on the way

Gunner, Missle, Tank 2000 meters
identified
fire
on the way
then its steer that baby as it flys in to the kill.


any questions anyone wants answered about the Bradley?
it was my home 9 months out of 12 each year... I was in the field often.

Matt.
Silent_Predator

I hope you have enjoyed todays post as it has brought up many good memories for me.

new post tomorrow.
 
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A lot of things have happened two you. Some good some bad. But you have three children and you should be proud of that.
 
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