What meat do yo think is in Heavies "Sandvich"? Why?

What is the meat on Heavies "Sandvich"?

  • Ham

    Votes: 31 40.3%
  • Bologna/Baloney [Whatever, you understand]

    Votes: 17 22.1%
  • Turkey

    Votes: 2 2.6%
  • Salami

    Votes: 1 1.3%
  • Roast Beef

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Um... pie?

    Votes: 2 2.6%
  • Um... cake? [haha just kidding, its a lie]

    Votes: 5 6.5%
  • Something yet to be discovered o_0

    Votes: 5 6.5%
  • Pure Ground 100% Enemy Heavies

    Votes: 13 16.9%
  • Dirt

    Votes: 1 1.3%

  • Total voters
    77

crazyrockets

Website Zealot
I think there is a slice of brain-cake in there. They take the brains of every heavy in the universe, grind them up, and bake them into a cake.
Obviously, there isn't much to work with, which is why they have such thin slices and have to add on bread and other toppings!
 

Thereven

Website Zealot
Well, the heavy says both:
Don't run! It's just ham!
and
Baloney! Perfect fuel for killing tiny cowards!
Gentlemen, I present to you my hypothesis:

The sandvich is made from soylent green spies.

My reasoning:

No other type of meat could shape-shift from ham to baloney.


Bonus:

We can all run around screaming at heavies that sandvich is made from spies! Spies!

 
Last edited:

Zero711

Website Zealot
I don't know what's wrong with all you guys' sandwiches, my Heavy's is a Grilled Cheese, which sounds much better than all your cold, damp sandwiches. The Albino Vegetarian strikes again!
 

Dreadmaker

I need to go outside
My assumption is that it's tofu. I don't know, but it seems fairly likely to me that the heavy is a vegan. the line "Don't run, it's just ham" is really a cover to make him sound more manly to his enemies; in actual fact, the heavy runs a wildlife shelter, and is responsible for a particularly infamous line of PETA rallies where he punched people who tested various products on animals. Truly, even the thought of eating ham unnerves him to the core, and I predict that when he comes out of the vegan closet, he'll suffer mini-crits every time he says that line.


/true story.
 

s3rv0

Famous Poster
I wanted to say ham and bologna, but several people beat me to that joke. I'll go the logical route instead: If you look at that outline of the slice of meat, there's a hole in it. Slices of ham can have this hole because that's where the bone is when the ham is still whole (as in not cut up). So, I posit that it is ham, as the heavy states in one of his comments. Maybe bologna is just Russian for "ham."
 
Top