What meat do yo think is in Heavies "Sandvich"? Why?

What is the meat on Heavies "Sandvich"?

  • Ham

    Points: 31 40.3%

  • Bologna/Baloney [Whatever, you understand]

    Points: 17 22.1%

  • Turkey

    Points: 2 2.6%

  • Salami

    Points: 1 1.3%

  • Roast Beef

    Points: 0 0.0%

  • Um... pie?

    Points: 2 2.6%

  • Um... cake? [haha just kidding, its a lie]

    Points: 5 6.5%

  • Something yet to be discovered o_0

    Points: 5 6.5%

  • Pure Ground 100% Enemy Heavies

    Points: 13 16.9%

  • Dirt

    Points: 1 1.3%
  • Total voters
    77
werqwerqwer.jpg


-jorz'd
 
I think there is a slice of brain-cake in there. They take the brains of every heavy in the universe, grind them up, and bake them into a cake.
Obviously, there isn't much to work with, which is why they have such thin slices and have to add on bread and other toppings!
 
Well, the heavy says both:
Don't run! It's just ham!
Click to expand...
and
Baloney! Perfect fuel for killing tiny cowards!
Click to expand...
Gentlemen, I present to you my hypothesis:

The sandvich is made from soylent green spies.

My reasoning:

No other type of meat could shape-shift from ham to baloney.


Bonus:

We can all run around screaming at heavies that sandvich is made from spies! Spies!

soylent_green_large_03.jpg
Threespies.jpg
 
Last edited:
I don't know what's wrong with all you guys' sandwiches, my Heavy's is a Grilled Cheese, which sounds much better than all your cold, damp sandwiches. The Albino Vegetarian strikes again!
 
My assumption is that it's tofu. I don't know, but it seems fairly likely to me that the heavy is a vegan. the line "Don't run, it's just ham" is really a cover to make him sound more manly to his enemies; in actual fact, the heavy runs a wildlife shelter, and is responsible for a particularly infamous line of PETA rallies where he punched people who tested various products on animals. Truly, even the thought of eating ham unnerves him to the core, and I predict that when he comes out of the vegan closet, he'll suffer mini-crits every time he says that line.


/true story.
 
I wanted to say ham and bologna, but several people beat me to that joke. I'll go the logical route instead: If you look at that outline of the slice of meat, there's a hole in it. Slices of ham can have this hole because that's where the bone is when the ham is still whole (as in not cut up). So, I posit that it is ham, as the heavy states in one of his comments. Maybe bologna is just Russian for "ham."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Latest posts

Back
Top