My MW2 Book-Chapter One making the rest!

Captain Mactavish and Roach


Chapter One
The Mountainside



Captain Mactavish had seen a lot of war in his day his Sergeant getting shot in the head on a bridge in Baghdad. His best friend getting shot in the stomach and bleeding to death right in front of him. He had seen things that no one else
could ever imagine. "Roach" was Captain Mactavish's Sergeant in Task Force 141. Right now they were on a ledge on a snowy cliff while Captain Mactavish was smoking a cigar on a before they went to the mission. After a few seconds Captain
Mactavish flicked his cigar out of his hands and it fell down the canyon. Captain Mactavish looked at Roach and said "Let's do this". Captain Mactavish had a British accent to his voice. Very carefully Captain Mactavish stood up and
hugged the wall very close so he wouldn't have the risk of falling off. Then very carefully he turned around so he was facing the wall and got out and ice pick stuck it in and started to climb. Once he got to the top he threw down a rope and
Roach latched on and climbed up the side of the mountain. Once Roach got up he saw Captain Mactavish look at him and say "Watch carefully". He stepped back and jumped off the ledge into mist. Roach yelled "No!" but then he heard Captain
Mactavish say "Your turn! Don't worry I'll catch you!". So as doing what he was told Roach stepped back and ran towards the edge of the cliff, jumped and stuck out his ice picks and they hit ice one stabbed into the ice on the side of
the mountain, the other one slipped and fell off but got caught because it was attached to a rope. Roach held on to the one dug into the side of the mountain and it started to slice through the ice. Captain Mactavish luckily just in time
before a chunk of the mountain fell off, grabbed Roach's hand. Captain Mactavish pulled him up and said "Be a bit more careful next time, eh?". "Ok, now all we have to do is climb up this side of the mountain then were done climbing
for awhile.". Captain Mactavish went up first and climbed up in a few seconds. Captain Mactavish looked down at Roach and said "I'm going to go find a sniper position to give you cover in." "Ok, I'll be up in a second." Roach said. Roach stabbed his ice picks into the mountain side and climbed up the mountain and put away his ice picks and took out a few parts of a ACR assault rifle and put the gun together. He put a heartbeat sensor on it and a silencer, because he
didn't want to be heard or seen. Captain Mactavish turned on his radio and said "Roach can you hear me?" "Loud and clear." Roach said. "Hopefully not too loud." "Ok move towards the encampment and plant the explosives on the gas tank" Captain Mactavish said. "Roger that." Roach carefully moved over the hill. What gas tank? He thought. He moved through a building and there was a enemy soldier sitting in front of him in a chair asleep. Very slowly trying not to wake him up, he took out his knife quickly pulled him back covered his mouth then stabbed his knife into his chest. After a few seconds he stopped struggling and he put the body in the closet. Roach put away his knife stepped outside and then two dots showed up on his heartbeat sensor. Slowly he approached the wall and very slowly looked around the corner. Two more soldiers were standing and they were talking. If he could somehow quickly execute a maneuver so he could put his gun around the corner and shoot a few bullets and they would pass through the first soldiers head, and into the seconds. Hopefully this will work, he thought. So very quickly he turned around pulled his gun around the corner and shot the first in the head. He saw the first soldier drop and then the second one just stood there. Roach shot two more bullets into his chest and he collapsed with red spots on his coat and the blood soaking through his coat. He moved up a little and
walked into another building. He pulled out his binoculars and looked around out the window. He saw a row of two gas tanks about fifty meters away from his position. Those must have been what Captain Mactavish was talking about, he thought. He moved up about ten steps before he heard a jeep approaching. He took cover behind a wall. The radio fuzzed and then he heard Captain Mactavish say "I'll take out the driver then you shoot the other two in the back seat."
"Roger that." Roach said. He heard a little "bup" noise and thought that, that must have been Captain Mactavish shooting his sniper rifle. Then Roach peered around the corner and saw the jeep's windshield explode with blood. His foot
caught the gas peddle and the jeep sped into a building making it crash. Roach slowly approached the jeep looked in the back seat and saw a fist come through the window at his face. One of the soldier's from the backseat opened the door
and got out, the other one laying their limp. He saw the soldier pull out a knife and run towards Roach. He tackled him and then pulled the knife over his shoulder and then thrust it downward. Roach caught the handle before it stabbed
into his chest and punched it out of his hands. The knife skid across the ice about five feet away from where they were. Roach pulled out his knife and then as the soldier approached him, threw the knife and it landed in his chest. The
knife hung out of his chest like a branch on a tree. He looked down at it, fell to his knees and collapsed on the ground. The snow was starting to turn red around his body, and you could see the end of the knife sticking out of his back. He flipped over the body and pulled it out, cleaned it off and put it away. He went over to the jeep again, went around to see the other soldier in the backseat laying there. Roach open the door and the body fell out and fell onto
the ground. Captain Mactavish was talking on the radio again and he said, "Good work, I'm coming down the hill." He saw Captain Mactavish put his sniper on his back and jumped off the hill and started sliding and once he got to the bottom
stumbled and then regained his balance. Captain Mactavish walked up the a building and tried to open the door but it was locked he pulled out a lock pick and very carefully picked the lock. Captain Mactavish said, "Wala, shall we?" and he
guided them both in. They walked into a locker room and saw a soldier putting on his coat. Captain Mactavish ran at him and slammed him into his locker and he hit his jaw on the lockers. Captain Mactavish tackled him to the ground pulled out his knife and stabbed him in the chest. The soldier grabbed the wound and blood trickled in his fingers. Captain Mactavish put his knife away. They walked into a large warehouse area. There was a bomb-like thing in the middle
of the floor of the warehouse. Captain Mactavish walked over to it and opened up the keypad and started hitting the buttons. Captain Mactavish said, "Go upstairs and see if you can find the intel of the map." Roach nodded and then walked up the stairs. He looked around the corner, no one. Good he thought. He went over to the laptop on the desk and started going through the files and found the map. Then Roach heard loud noises coming from the warehouse room. Someone was talking on a megaphone his name was Makarov. "Put down your weapons and step forward." Makarov said. Roach came out and hid behind a few barrels. If I threw a grenade at those guys, it would take em' all out, Roach thought. Roach pulled
out a flash bang grenade pulled the pin and held the handle he peered over the gas cans, making sure he hadn't been seen, and threw the grenade. He saw a white flash and a loud noise. He stood up over the barrels, and shot the soldiers. Captain Mactavish was taking cover behind a barrel from gunfire. Once Roach killed the last soldiers Captain Mactavish ran out from cover and yelled to Roach, "Follow me! We gotta get outta' here!" Roach quickly ran down the stairs and out of the warehouse. They saw a small hill and ran for it jumped, and slid down the hill. Once they got to the bottom they quickly turned around and pulled there guns out. About six soldiers were at the top of the hill and getting
ready to shoot. Roach and Captain Mactavish shot all six of them in about two seconds. Roach saw snowmobiles and Captain Mactavish took out his knife and Roach saw one coming down the hill he shot the driver, and it stopped right in front of him. Captain Mactavish went over to the wall of a building and, the snowmobile came around and Captain Mactavish stabbed him in the chest and the snowmobile stopped about six feet away from him. Captain Mactavish said, "Come on! We gotta get out of here!" Roach got on the snowmobile and Captain Mactavish got on his. And they went speeding down a mountain side, they had to be careful of the tree's or else they would hit one. Their were enemy snowmobiles
coming behind them now. Roach pulled out a pistol and shot back at them, and hit one of the drivers in the chest. He went out of control and sped off the mountainside. They could see a helicopter on the other side of the canyon, it was friendly. They had to make a jump at the bottom of the cliff if they wanted to get over it. Captain Mactavish went over the canyon first and then Roach a few seconds later. Captain Mactavish made it and got off his snowmobile. Roach
hit the side of the other mountain and jumped off before he fell, and grabbed the ledge. A few soldiers rushed to go pull him up. He once he made it up, they walked over to the helicopter and got in. "Some ride, huh?" Roach said. Captain Mactavish laughed and then the helicopter took off and they flew back to the base. Captain Mactavish said, "Oh and one thing." "What?" Roach asked "You forgot to put the explosives on the gas tank." "Woops. Sorry" "Don't worry about it now."
 
I was expecting something different from the title...

Really you just slightly altered the story of MW2 by adding some non-game events and removing others. That was far from an exciting read, since I've played MW2 several times through.
And building off of an already lackluster storyline is far from a good start.

And you really need to break this up from being a wall of text. Some punctuation fixes here and there would dramatically help readability as well, since right now there are quite a few spots where the sentences just run through.
 
I know I just now started to right it today I haven't really edited it or sorted it out the way I should have. And sorry if you don't like it. I'll just think of something else.
 
MW2 has a story? :D
Well there's certainly some good points in it. You might want to expand with details and sort it with paragraphs. Would also help if the story was had a bit more "juice" to it then the original game.
 
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