This Stuff is Hilarious

Redshift

Poster Extraordinaire
A buddy of mine is a lawyer (no, it isn't JohnT) and he sent me this link. Check this out.

[link=http://www.rense.com/general75/court.html] http://www.rense.com/general75/court.htm [/link]

An example is here:

ATTORNEY : What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS : Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY : This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS : Yes.
ATTORNEY : And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS : I forget.
ATTORNEY : You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY : Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS : Did you actually pass the bar exam?
 
wow i just read them the attorneys aren't very smart,doctor: i had his brain in a jar on my desk, attorney: so he could still be alive?
 
hahahaha. the funniest 1 was definatly this 1
-------------------------------------------------------------------
ATTORNEY : What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS : Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
 
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!

AMAZING I LOVED THEM ALL!!!
 
These are reasons why people hate lawyers...

1"ATTORNEY : Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS : Did you actually pass the bar exam? " !grr

2"ATTORNEY : The youngest son, the twenty-one year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS : Uh, he's twenty-one." %-6

3"ATTORNEY : Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS : Would you repeat the question? " %-6

4"ATTORNEY : So the date of conception of the baby was August 8th?
WITNESS : Yes.
ATTORNEY : And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS : Uh.... " !dodge

5"ATTORNEY : She had three children, right?
WITNESS : Yes.
ATTORNEY : How many were boys?
WITNESS : None.
ATTORNEY : Were there any girls? "

6ATTORNEY : Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS : He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY : Was this a male or a female? B)

7ATTORNEY : Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS : All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

etc, etc.

I get the feeling number 1 and 7 where the same attorney and doctor...
No offense to lawyers who actually have grey matter in their skulls...
I'm putting number 4 in my signature its so damn funny!!! !lol
 

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