This Stuff is Hilarious

[Redshift]

A buddy of mine is a lawyer (no, it isn't JohnT) and he sent me this link. Check this out.

[link=http://www.rense.com/general75/court.html] http://www.rense.com/general75/court.htm [/link]

An example is here:

ATTORNEY : What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS : Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY : This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS : Yes.
ATTORNEY : And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS : I forget.
ATTORNEY : You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY : Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS : Did you actually pass the bar exam?

 

[Death]

wow i just read them the attorneys aren't very smart,doctor: i had his brain in a jar on my desk, attorney: so he could still be alive?

 

[The Snake*]

oh man that was great

 

[Tr!X]

omg that is hilarious thanks for sharing

 

[Kamakize Tommy]

Very good I am still laughing.

 

[John_Bonham[DAM]]

hahahaha. the funniest 1 was definatly this 1
-------------------------------------------------------------------
ATTORNEY : What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS : Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

 

[BREAK_EM_OUT_JONES]

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!

AMAZING I LOVED THEM ALL!!!

 

[JMAN]

lol very funny stuff right there

 

[CommunistSquirrel]

These are reasons why people hate lawyers...

1"ATTORNEY : Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS : Did you actually pass the bar exam? " !grr

2"ATTORNEY : The youngest son, the twenty-one year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS : Uh, he's twenty-one." %-6

3"ATTORNEY : Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS : Would you repeat the question? " %-6

4"ATTORNEY : So the date of conception of the baby was August 8th?
WITNESS : Yes.
ATTORNEY : And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS : Uh.... " !dodge

5"ATTORNEY : She had three children, right?
WITNESS : Yes.
ATTORNEY : How many were boys?
WITNESS : None.
ATTORNEY : Were there any girls? "

6ATTORNEY : Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS : He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY : Was this a male or a female? B)

7ATTORNEY : Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS : All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

etc, etc.

I get the feeling number 1 and 7 where the same attorney and doctor...
No offense to lawyers who actually have grey matter in their skulls...
I'm putting number 4 in my signature its so damn funny!!! !lol

 

[Winterfell]

That's great...Thanks for sharing the link, heh.

 

[Russian Tacoman]

aww the link doesn't work for me

 

[Priapus480]

Great ...These were hilarious thanks for sharing

 

[=(eGO)=Bane(uk)[DAM]]

lol sweet

 

[BREAK_EM_OUT_JONES]

hahahahahaaaa read it again and was still amazing!