Sad Times

Yankee

- Yankee <3
=(eG)=
I haven't been that open about my relationship i may have mentioned it once or twice, I meet my girlfriend my senior year of high school and we've been dating ever since well ever since today. I remember meeting her the summer leading up to my senior year and we started talking we got along very well a few months pass and i ask her to my senior homecoming and had a blast with her a few days later we made our relationship official we were the typical high school couple we do everything together go on dates have dinner with our parents, I remember telling her my plans after high school at first i wanted to go to collage and we were talking about going to the same collage, i have a big influence of military pride in my family I remember my great-grandfather telling me his amazing experience in the US Army I still remember the conversation I had with her when we were at her house I was dropping her off after a wonderful date, I told her I was going to enlist and fight for my country her reaction hurt me inside she told me she didn't want me to she didn't want to see me end up dead, this hurt my pride inside and i reconsidered my decision, a few months later and i went to take my oath of enlistment for the US Air Force i wanted to make her proud of me but she was only hurt and told me how i could do this to her the last month together was emotional we just graduated and in a month I was off to basic training and she was off to her freshman year of college that plane ride to Texas was one of the saddest moments of my life she didn't come to my ship off date or my graduation during my time at basic i was always thinking about her and we wrote each other letters i always asked myself at basic why i joined, that reason i joined because i wanted to give my family a good life with the military benefits and being able to send my kids off to college for free i joined because of her she never could understand that, i am very happy i chose the military I joined the Air Force as a Firefighter i wanted to save lives not afraid to die, i go to work everyday knowing this day could be my last here on earth but this is Gods plan for me i did see here during Christmas but by that time we had been arguing about the little stuff and i could tell she was growing distant from me i graduated my tech school and i was off to my first duty location 10 hours away from her it was heart wrenching knowing i couldn't be there for her i tried to drive up and visit her as much as i could at college, I remember when i got called into my deputy's office and he said i needed to start packing because someone on the deployment team got injured and my name was next on the list i didn't tell her for a few days about the situation because i knew she wouldn't be able to handle it, when i did tell her she started to cry and i just felt like the biggest piece of shit in the world i was super down about it and we didn't talk for a few days i knew i couldn't handle this relationship anymore i didn't want to keep hurting her all i ever wanted to do was make her proud of me but good things have to come to an end.

if you made it to the end of this thank you for taking the time out of your life to read this i just had to get this off my chest and i know you guys are a very caring community so that's why i decided to tell this story i haven't made up my mind yet if i'm going to take some time to focus on my self or not but that will probably be a decision i make on my own but thank you guys for being there for me in this hard time im going through i love you all <3

your pal,
-Alex
 
The past has happened but the future hasn't. Stuff happens, and sometimes we cant stop that. But the future can be changed by our decisions. Good luck.
 
Thank you for sharing your story.

I remember when I applied to the military and the girl I was with at the time told me, "I never wanted to be with a soldier... why would you do this to us?" and my heart literally sank into my chest.

It was always a dream of mine as a kid to grow up and be a soldier and she reacted like I was doing something in spite of her. I know that feeling and it's shitty. I'm sorry that happened to you but it sounds like you two were not meant to be. That might be hard to take in but you're still young and you're going to have more moments where your heart gets broken. (Either by future relationships or even just friendships)

You will find someone (or they will find you) who will understand you, will respect your decisions you choose for your life and your future family and who will want to support you and build a life with you. Don't rush it. Enjoy the learning and growing process of your early adulthood. Trust me, it goes by very quickly even if you think it's moving slow.
 
Keep on sharing bro, that's how you heal.

I'm on teamspeak sometimes, if u catch me I'd be glad to help and bounce a few good questions at you


Relationships... I've seen many toxic relationships, and the main thing that makes it toxic or generally bad is the lack of trust, TRUST EACHOTHER

But the fact she doesn't want you to die is understandable, comfort her about that
 
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I feel you bro
Understand pain is the greatest motivator known to man and the greatest growth tool you can say lol. When you undergo pain you change and progress. Wish you luck brother
 
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