My Essay on Fortnite

Arbiter

⚔️ EGO Dictator ⚔️
=(eGO)=
For the last several years, Fortnite has dominated popular culture and won the hearts and minds of countless youth and young adults, myself included. From the goofy emotes and cartoon graphics to the intense shootouts, there is a lot to enjoy about this game. At any given time of day or night, I can hop online and be thrown into the arena with ninety-nine other players, in a desperate attempt to loot, shoot, and build my way to victory. Fortnite is more than a game, it's my religion. Not a day goes by I don't daydream of clapping cheeks off the battle bus, watching 30-year-old men flirt with the entire lobby, and continuing to degrade myself by playing the great game known to man. Obviously, I love Fortnite.

Does that make me a little biased? Maybe. Regardless, when we take an objective look at it, is it really all that good to get swept up with the rest of the world in search of a Victory Royale? You’ve heard of those people who get addicted to video games, locked away in their rooms – never to see the sunlight again. In fact, several of those people probably exist right here in the community. You’ve read up on the studies showing how video games will slow development and almost certainly lead to violence. Granted, the sole purpose of this game is to eliminate all enemies to be the last left alive, but does that really mean all these negatives are true? While in extreme cases (as with anything), addictive and negative tendencies can appear, Fortnite, however, when played in moderation, does not lead to the negative tendencies we often associate with video games; rather, it has the potential to promote comradery among friends while also developing critical thinking and cognition in its players. Instead, the game leads to clinical depression, obesity, and a general desire to stop living, at least in my case. My therapist tells me these feelings will pass, but truthfully they're not that bad, I've only spent close to $7600 on Fortnite, pennies, compared to some.

I can recall my first win on Fortnite. Three of my friends and I had been working for what seemed like forever to get a win. Finally, everything went just right: a Victory Royale! In no less than a second, our adrenaline was pumping and we were all shouting with excitement. At the same time, my wife filed for divorce. Regardless, at the time, it was a momentous achievement, but looking back on it, it was much more. Not only was a liberated from my relationship with my wife, who had done nothing wrong, and was supplying the income for my entire family, raising three dogs, had a child on the way, and was overall just a great person... it turned me into a man. LITTLE DID I KNOW, that Fortnite epic dub would make me grow chest hair, get a deeper voice, and also have my family cut of communication with me. It was trusting that your teammate would watch your back and you would watch theirs. It was recognizing potential dangers and exercising efficient communication skills to make call-outs. The competitive nature of the game brought the four us of together to achieve something significant to us. In this way, competition is one of the best stimuli for comradery among friends.

For me, Fortnite allows me to spend time with the homies. Even though they relentlessly bully me every time I get onto Raidcall, they're still tight as hell, g'. . Fortnite is a medium that brings people together, or in my case, leads to divorce and lots of debt, and also an addiction to Fortnite branded Dorito bags. In truth, it's possible that Fortnite bridges great distances to allow a user to spend time with friends from far away. Kathy, please come home.

Additionally, Fortnite allows its users the opportunity to develop cognitively. After my first victory royale, my IQ went up from 34, to 38, respectfully. I believe there is a link between epic dubs and increase cognitive function. Fortnite requires you to use your credit card to flex on individuals of a poorer economic status, something I was able to easily do, until my divorce.



In conclusion, Fortnite is the greatest creation of mankind, far surpassing the abilities of disease-curing surgeries, artificial intelligence, and Flaming Hot Cheetos.

Carroll, Charlotte. “UMBC Player Compares Virgnia Win to Beating Fortnite.” SI.com, 17 Mar.
2018, www.si.com/college-basketball/2018/03/17/umbc-virginia-upset-fortnite-win. Ferguson, Christopher J., and Cheryl K. Olson. “Video Game Violence Use Among ‘Vulnerable’
Populations: The Impact of Violent Games on Delinquency and Bullying Among Children with Clinically Elevated Depression or Attention Deficit Symptoms.”SpringerLink, Springer US, 24 Aug. 2013, link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10964-013-9986-5. Hughes, Emily. “Effect of Video Games on Child Development.” Developmental Psychology at
Vanderbilt, 24 Apr. 2014, my.vanderbilt.edu/developmentalpsychologyblog/2014/04/effect-of-video-games-on- child-development/ Kirkorian, Heather L., Ellen A. Wartella, and Daniel R. Anderson. "Media and Young Children’s
Learning." https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/1eb4/77ab946978f0c3db60b3977f046a383a67df.pdf
 

Arbiter

⚔️ EGO Dictator ⚔️
=(eGO)=
Thank you!
M-m... M"

No one was paying attention in the crossroads of New York as I was giving my speech.

"M-m-mine..."

However, one person was intrigued in what I was saying.

"M-m-m-minecraft..."

Then it was just a domino effect, ten more people are watching.

"Minecraft..."

A hundred were now watching, this had caught the attention of even the busy drivers in rush hour. Their faces in anticipation, some were even scared. Others were complaining that this isn't the real deal.

"MINECRAFT..."

But they all suddenly started cheering, shaking, praying. When they heard my tone, my pitch, my timbre.... they all knew what was going to come next. They realized... that salvation of the human race has finally come.

"Minecraft good Fortnite bad"

I let out a battle cry as declared, in the depths of New York City, that Minecraft is a superior game; not let me explain to you why.

I thoroughly enjoyed the release of Minecraft's Alpha client; after endless free build, where any and all blocks could be broken in no time, replaced just as quickly, and all materials existed in infinite supply, being constrained to more rhythmic interactions with Minecraft's world was a welcome change and presented countless challenges. The game wasn't about sheer creation or destruction anymore, there were no bounds to the field, and the cycles of night and day engendered reactionary behaviors ranging from adequate shelters to effective and ruthless exploits of the game's mechanics. I've been amazed by the creations of my fellow players; towering fortresses, cliffside abodes, skyscrapers and enormous mining gantries. I've seen paddy-farms, enemy spawners and harvesters, infinite stone generators, and underwater cities with functioning subway systems. The introduction of minecarts and redstone circuitry allowed simple intelligences to be embedded with passive systems; minecarts move on their own indefinitely, fields of redstone torches blink patterns in the night, and stacks of traps and catches secure safe zones from the ever-present dangers of nightfall.

I too had my creations. I dug extensive networks of sophisticated tunnels, mapped out with simple but effective navigation totems and cues. When I did get lost, I'd dig straight upwards, and soon learned to make my improvisational methods elegant and multifunctional. I built undersea colonies and connected skyway networks, I redirected coastlines, I planted forests. Eventually I controlled the impulsive building and formed systems and patterns along which I'd propagate my creations; there emerged a method, based on the governing laws of effectiveness and efficiency put forth by the game's own mechanics. I used glass not because I liked it (though I did) but because I could see through it to know whether it was dangerous outside, and because it allowed natural light into my designs. I never used wood as a construction material, regardless of how great it looked thanks to texture packs, because it burned. I burned coal in my furnaces instead of wood as a compromise, knowing coal was finite and wood was technically infinite. Walls became a certain height because that's where Creepers couldn't get me, windows a certain width because I could better evade skeleton arrows. In short, there grew intelligence in the systems I created, and it happened thanks to the world's constraints and challenges. Things were no longer a certain way just because it looked alright, but because there was an advantage to building in a manner responsive to the strange and often counter-intuitive reality of the Minecraft world.

And so things were good for a while; I acted like a good little demigod, building what I knew, how I knew to do it in every direction; I was mapping my ideas onto the untamed wilds of Minecraft. Occasionally, at night, I'd stand atop the nearest mountain and proudly follow the strands of torches and glittering glass acrologies into the horizon; I watched minecarts rolling away untended, automated, and thought of someday soon when they'd be queued to auto-collect machine-mined materials to automated storage bays. I wanted more than anything to weave automation into my world, liberating me from the raw labor required to leverage my concepts upon the landscape.

And then, a few things happened. My industry slowed, my creations grew more abstract, more detached, and more humble. I asked: how little can I make do with? If I dotted the landscape with little glass pyramids, would it mean anything? What if I just packed up and nomadically roved the inifinite landscape, would I enjoy one day retracing my steps across hundreds of nightly basecamps? And so on. Before long I realized a critical change had occurred; I was no longer telling the world what to do, I was instead asking it questions. Instead of building pipes and channels then forcing the game mechanics to route water through them, I asked how water worked in Minecraft, and what its natural state could allow. Water is actually a good example to demonstrate this. In Minecraft, water doesn't flow like it's really supposed to. We call it water, because it's blue and fills in the land with what look like lakes and oceans; it flows and cools lava into stone, it floods chambers, we can swim in it, little bubbles leak out of us and eventually we can drown in it. But the similarities end there: water in Minecraft is different, it's odd, it can be made to remember certain shapes, its shape can recall the order of actions taken upon it. It can be made to do impossible things. It can be paradoxical, counter-intuitive; it can be tricked into infinite quantities.

Slowly, I began to accept the idea that my little character in Minecraft did not just wake up in a world which is intuitively navigable. I stopped attributing the discrepancies between what I was finding and I what I knew to error and shortcomings of design ('cause Notch is a sharp dude, after all). I began to ask relevant questions which could inform my designs from the ground up rather than just tailor the specfics after the bulk of my ideas were built. I went back to basics. Like a nomad I found natural caves and made them barely habitable. I tended trees and followed them up into their canopies, growing new volumes from saplings instead of building cube-walls and platforms. I followed the curvature of cliffs and branches of caves, I built hand in hand with the natural sway of the world Minecraft generated, and over time, I grew to really enjoy this approach. Nothing was forced, it was very zen. I felt my constructions were attuned to their sites, every building was uniquely shaped by the unpredictable furrows and peaks in the landscape. A building wasn't srangely shaped for aesthetic reasons; it was attenuating the land it was grown from; each construct was an articulation, instead of an imposition.

And that's when the idea struck me: if there were hidden rules wihin the world of Minecraft, they could be made evident. Why not build in ways which not only followed those natural principles, but also explained them to others? What an idea: constructs uniquely suited to this alien place which are also living narratives of their own processes! We have precedents for this in the real world. Stonehenge followed the summer solstice in the sky, aligning its perplexing rings of dolems to invisible calendars tracking the paths of stars following invisible rhythms much larger than ourselves. The earliest of ancient civilizations flourished along river valleys, building along wavy shores and following yearly cycles of floods and droughts. The adorning statues on Hindi temples aren't for decoration: they're water-markers tracking floodplains over the course of centuries. The most lasting remains of our human civilizations are living stories, embedded intelligences, and stone calculators. Our ancestors were just as perplexed, eking out an existence in a world they barely understood. Whatever secrets they could uncover about this hostile world, they encoded in stone; whatever rhythms they detected across the generations, they wove into their homes and citadels, passing on their knowledge to their children. How beautiful are the Havelis of Jaipur and Rajasthan, where stone lattices shade interiors from the hot sun, where deep eaves collect cool air and provide shade, where shallow channels collect rain and recycle heat. How ingenious are the Cruck frames of Nordic France and Scandinavia, their deeply pitched roofs shedding snow, their criss-crossed beams withstanding powerful winds, their skins like ship hulls, exploiting the natural tension of fused wood to render planks harder than stone.

For the first time, I feel my creations in Minecraft are not only responsive to the laws and behaviors hidden in the game's mechanics, they also tell the stories of their own construction. No longer do I tear away the scaffolding; the half-constructed form is just as valid as the intended form, as there is no such thing as a "finished" structure. Building are always "in progress", making each phase just as important as the next, each iteration just as deserving of representation as its successor. If "mistakes" happen, I roll with it, it's part of the world, and who am I to "correct" it? Now, I pour lava over glass plates into water, and I study the resultant patterns, taking account of defects and asymmetries. I channel waterfalls into grooves cut into rock faces, creating barriers against creepers and zombies; I haven't built a wall in weeks. Where the methods grow obscure, I encode the methods I used into the environment; I've built a water-borne citadel where its overall form grew to conceal the formwork I used to build it, but if you look carefully, you'll see the road which leads you to the main gate is inlaid with glass blocks in different configurations: they're paved into the stone in the order in which I used them; by the time you enter the citadel, you've walked over the instructions of how to replicate it.

I've only scratched the surface of this new way of thinking; I haven't even touched redstone circuitry or minecarts again. I look forward to further features to be released in the game, and I'll wipe away save files in a heartbeat to explore new horizons from scratch all over again; but I will retain the processes I've learned. Minecraft's a great time; and as with other great games where you're allowed free license to build and design (Simcity, etc.), the real joy is what you, the player, brings to the table, and the attentiveness you can afford to the beauty of the game's own design.
 

kuantum

🍔Arbiters? Intern🍔
=(eGO)=
M-m... M"

No one was paying attention in the crossroads of New York as I was giving my speech.

"M-m-mine..."

However, one person was intrigued in what I was saying.

"M-m-m-minecraft..."

Then it was just a domino effect, ten more people are watching.

"Minecraft..."

A hundred were now watching, this had caught the attention of even the busy drivers in rush hour. Their faces in anticipation, some were even scared. Others were complaining that this isn't the real deal.

"MINECRAFT..."

But they all suddenly started cheering, shaking, praying. When they heard my tone, my pitch, my timbre.... they all knew what was going to come next. They realized... that salvation of the human race has finally come.

"Minecraft good Fortnite bad"

I let out a battle cry as declared, in the depths of New York City, that Minecraft is a superior game; not let me explain to you why.

I thoroughly enjoyed the release of Minecraft's Alpha client; after endless free build, where any and all blocks could be broken in no time, replaced just as quickly, and all materials existed in infinite supply, being constrained to more rhythmic interactions with Minecraft's world was a welcome change and presented countless challenges. The game wasn't about sheer creation or destruction anymore, there were no bounds to the field, and the cycles of night and day engendered reactionary behaviors ranging from adequate shelters to effective and ruthless exploits of the game's mechanics. I've been amazed by the creations of my fellow players; towering fortresses, cliffside abodes, skyscrapers and enormous mining gantries. I've seen paddy-farms, enemy spawners and harvesters, infinite stone generators, and underwater cities with functioning subway systems. The introduction of minecarts and redstone circuitry allowed simple intelligences to be embedded with passive systems; minecarts move on their own indefinitely, fields of redstone torches blink patterns in the night, and stacks of traps and catches secure safe zones from the ever-present dangers of nightfall.

I too had my creations. I dug extensive networks of sophisticated tunnels, mapped out with simple but effective navigation totems and cues. When I did get lost, I'd dig straight upwards, and soon learned to make my improvisational methods elegant and multifunctional. I built undersea colonies and connected skyway networks, I redirected coastlines, I planted forests. Eventually I controlled the impulsive building and formed systems and patterns along which I'd propagate my creations; there emerged a method, based on the governing laws of effectiveness and efficiency put forth by the game's own mechanics. I used glass not because I liked it (though I did) but because I could see through it to know whether it was dangerous outside, and because it allowed natural light into my designs. I never used wood as a construction material, regardless of how great it looked thanks to texture packs, because it burned. I burned coal in my furnaces instead of wood as a compromise, knowing coal was finite and wood was technically infinite. Walls became a certain height because that's where Creepers couldn't get me, windows a certain width because I could better evade skeleton arrows. In short, there grew intelligence in the systems I created, and it happened thanks to the world's constraints and challenges. Things were no longer a certain way just because it looked alright, but because there was an advantage to building in a manner responsive to the strange and often counter-intuitive reality of the Minecraft world.

And so things were good for a while; I acted like a good little demigod, building what I knew, how I knew to do it in every direction; I was mapping my ideas onto the untamed wilds of Minecraft. Occasionally, at night, I'd stand atop the nearest mountain and proudly follow the strands of torches and glittering glass acrologies into the horizon; I watched minecarts rolling away untended, automated, and thought of someday soon when they'd be queued to auto-collect machine-mined materials to automated storage bays. I wanted more than anything to weave automation into my world, liberating me from the raw labor required to leverage my concepts upon the landscape.

And then, a few things happened. My industry slowed, my creations grew more abstract, more detached, and more humble. I asked: how little can I make do with? If I dotted the landscape with little glass pyramids, would it mean anything? What if I just packed up and nomadically roved the inifinite landscape, would I enjoy one day retracing my steps across hundreds of nightly basecamps? And so on. Before long I realized a critical change had occurred; I was no longer telling the world what to do, I was instead asking it questions. Instead of building pipes and channels then forcing the game mechanics to route water through them, I asked how water worked in Minecraft, and what its natural state could allow. Water is actually a good example to demonstrate this. In Minecraft, water doesn't flow like it's really supposed to. We call it water, because it's blue and fills in the land with what look like lakes and oceans; it flows and cools lava into stone, it floods chambers, we can swim in it, little bubbles leak out of us and eventually we can drown in it. But the similarities end there: water in Minecraft is different, it's odd, it can be made to remember certain shapes, its shape can recall the order of actions taken upon it. It can be made to do impossible things. It can be paradoxical, counter-intuitive; it can be tricked into infinite quantities.

Slowly, I began to accept the idea that my little character in Minecraft did not just wake up in a world which is intuitively navigable. I stopped attributing the discrepancies between what I was finding and I what I knew to error and shortcomings of design ('cause Notch is a sharp dude, after all). I began to ask relevant questions which could inform my designs from the ground up rather than just tailor the specfics after the bulk of my ideas were built. I went back to basics. Like a nomad I found natural caves and made them barely habitable. I tended trees and followed them up into their canopies, growing new volumes from saplings instead of building cube-walls and platforms. I followed the curvature of cliffs and branches of caves, I built hand in hand with the natural sway of the world Minecraft generated, and over time, I grew to really enjoy this approach. Nothing was forced, it was very zen. I felt my constructions were attuned to their sites, every building was uniquely shaped by the unpredictable furrows and peaks in the landscape. A building wasn't srangely shaped for aesthetic reasons; it was attenuating the land it was grown from; each construct was an articulation, instead of an imposition.

And that's when the idea struck me: if there were hidden rules wihin the world of Minecraft, they could be made evident. Why not build in ways which not only followed those natural principles, but also explained them to others? What an idea: constructs uniquely suited to this alien place which are also living narratives of their own processes! We have precedents for this in the real world. Stonehenge followed the summer solstice in the sky, aligning its perplexing rings of dolems to invisible calendars tracking the paths of stars following invisible rhythms much larger than ourselves. The earliest of ancient civilizations flourished along river valleys, building along wavy shores and following yearly cycles of floods and droughts. The adorning statues on Hindi temples aren't for decoration: they're water-markers tracking floodplains over the course of centuries. The most lasting remains of our human civilizations are living stories, embedded intelligences, and stone calculators. Our ancestors were just as perplexed, eking out an existence in a world they barely understood. Whatever secrets they could uncover about this hostile world, they encoded in stone; whatever rhythms they detected across the generations, they wove into their homes and citadels, passing on their knowledge to their children. How beautiful are the Havelis of Jaipur and Rajasthan, where stone lattices shade interiors from the hot sun, where deep eaves collect cool air and provide shade, where shallow channels collect rain and recycle heat. How ingenious are the Cruck frames of Nordic France and Scandinavia, their deeply pitched roofs shedding snow, their criss-crossed beams withstanding powerful winds, their skins like ship hulls, exploiting the natural tension of fused wood to render planks harder than stone.

For the first time, I feel my creations in Minecraft are not only responsive to the laws and behaviors hidden in the game's mechanics, they also tell the stories of their own construction. No longer do I tear away the scaffolding; the half-constructed form is just as valid as the intended form, as there is no such thing as a "finished" structure. Building are always "in progress", making each phase just as important as the next, each iteration just as deserving of representation as its successor. If "mistakes" happen, I roll with it, it's part of the world, and who am I to "correct" it? Now, I pour lava over glass plates into water, and I study the resultant patterns, taking account of defects and asymmetries. I channel waterfalls into grooves cut into rock faces, creating barriers against creepers and zombies; I haven't built a wall in weeks. Where the methods grow obscure, I encode the methods I used into the environment; I've built a water-borne citadel where its overall form grew to conceal the formwork I used to build it, but if you look carefully, you'll see the road which leads you to the main gate is inlaid with glass blocks in different configurations: they're paved into the stone in the order in which I used them; by the time you enter the citadel, you've walked over the instructions of how to replicate it.

I've only scratched the surface of this new way of thinking; I haven't even touched redstone circuitry or minecarts again. I look forward to further features to be released in the game, and I'll wipe away save files in a heartbeat to explore new horizons from scratch all over again; but I will retain the processes I've learned. Minecraft's a great time; and as with other great games where you're allowed free license to build and design (Simcity, etc.), the real joy is what you, the player, brings to the table, and the attentiveness you can afford to the beauty of the game's own design.
At around 10:00 AM on the morning of December 18th, 2018, in what was widely believed to be an act of government-sponsored ethnic cleansing, two armed militia men were seen parachuting from a military plane into the vicinity of Tomato Town.

Upon landing, the two quickly unholstered assault rifles and entered the local pizzeria where a massacre of unarmed civilians unfolded as they kept shouting, "Get Down! Get Down!". Improvised explosives were then detonated at the site of the crime to obscure the victim's identities. The local police chief spotted the assailants as they were exiting the diner and shot one in the back before he was quickly revived by his accomplice as they boarded a "technical" pickup truck and headed southbound.

The two militiamen were outnumbered but gave chase before being cornered in the streets of the nearby district of Pleasant Park where a shootout occurred with the police. The two assailants were seen chugging jugs of alcohol before getting back into the pickup truck and heading towards Moist Mire where the police lost them, deliberately detouring around Loot Lake as a local source had tipped them off to the stationing of UN peacekeeping forces in the area. 10 bodies were later discovered in the rubble of the Pizzeria's board room.

Not long after the assailants left the area, a purple cloud believed to be an experimental chemical agent developed by the government swept the area, resulting in death by suffocation, making the town uninhabitable and turning the survivors of the massacre into refugees. Military contractors hired by the government bulldozed what was left of Tomato Town including the ruins of the Pizzeria as well as the memorial site for the victims and redeveloped it into a religious site/tourist attraction for the dominant religion of the country known as "Tomato Temple".

To this day the government denies the massacre and subsequent chemical weapons attack despite multiple Human Rights agencies releasing interviews with the survivors and even one of the assailants coming forward with a testimony of guilt uploaded to social media after a UN Geneva Convention Probe confirmed the use of banned chemical agents.
 

Arbiter

⚔️ EGO Dictator ⚔️
=(eGO)=
At around 10:00 AM on the morning of December 18th, 2018, in what was widely believed to be an act of government-sponsored ethnic cleansing, two armed militia men were seen parachuting from a military plane into the vicinity of Tomato Town.

Upon landing, the two quickly unholstered assault rifles and entered the local pizzeria where a massacre of unarmed civilians unfolded as they kept shouting, "Get Down! Get Down!". Improvised explosives were then detonated at the site of the crime to obscure the victim's identities. The local police chief spotted the assailants as they were exiting the diner and shot one in the back before he was quickly revived by his accomplice as they boarded a "technical" pickup truck and headed southbound.

The two militiamen were outnumbered but gave chase before being cornered in the streets of the nearby district of Pleasant Park where a shootout occurred with the police. The two assailants were seen chugging jugs of alcohol before getting back into the pickup truck and heading towards Moist Mire where the police lost them, deliberately detouring around Loot Lake as a local source had tipped them off to the stationing of UN peacekeeping forces in the area. 10 bodies were later discovered in the rubble of the Pizzeria's board room.

Not long after the assailants left the area, a purple cloud believed to be an experimental chemical agent developed by the government swept the area, resulting in death by suffocation, making the town uninhabitable and turning the survivors of the massacre into refugees. Military contractors hired by the government bulldozed what was left of Tomato Town including the ruins of the Pizzeria as well as the memorial site for the victims and redeveloped it into a religious site/tourist attraction for the dominant religion of the country known as "Tomato Temple".

To this day the government denies the massacre and subsequent chemical weapons attack despite multiple Human Rights agencies releasing interviews with the survivors and even one of the assailants coming forward with a testimony of guilt uploaded to social media after a UN Geneva Convention Probe confirmed the use of banned chemical agents.
Peanut brittle is a sweet made with melted sugar or corn syrup with water, with peanuts, a leavening agent, and spices, spread out and hardened and cooled before broken into pieces. It is a staple of the American South, and was eaten by confederate soldiers in the Civil War. Peanut brittle is a worldwide candy, and confectioners in the Middle East mix pistachios into their batches, while in Asia, they add sesame seeds along with the peanuts. Peanut brittle is the perfect medium for the various regions of the world to express their cultural tastes, because its simple yet delicious recipe leaves much room to put a regional spin on it.

There are two widely known Folk tales for the invention of peanut brittle:

  1. Around 1890, a Southern woman created peanut brittle by mistake. Apparently she was making taffy when she added baking soda instead of cream of tartar. However, not wanting to waste the ingredients, she continued cooking it, resulting in a brittle hard candy. She enjoyed the candy and later found that adding peanuts made it even better.
  2. The next tale starts with a lumberjack named Tony Beaver who saved his village. Tony lived in the mountains in the 19th century and stockpiled jumbo sized peanuts- and because Tony was a giant they were the perfect size for him. Then it rained for multiple days and the river began to rise and was going to flood and it was going to destroy the village. So Tony came up with an idea to save the village; he dumped the jumbo sized peanuts and molasses into the river which formed a thick brown mass and when it hardened it stopped the water from rising. The place where the villagers got water was now blocked because of his creation. So Tony broke off a piece of the hardened mass and realized it tasted good, and peanut brittle was born.
In Ancient Greek mythology, Persephone is the goddess of spring, and vegetation(specifically greens). Now you might think that peanuts are not greens, because “they’re nuts right?”. Wrong. Peanuts are not technically nuts, they are legumes, and are closer related to peas and beans, so peanuts do technically fall under Persephone’s domain. One epithet of hers is Kore Soteira, "the savior maiden", symbolizing safety and salvation, deliverance, and preservation from harm. This perfectly ties into the themes of both the peanut brittle origin stories (preservation of food, safety from the flood). As is well known, Persephone is the Goddess of Spring and Nature and a goddess of the underworld, and the seasons are associated with her descent into the underworld (Winter) and her return (causing spring). This is strikingly similar to the life cycle of peanuts themselves. Peanuts grow into a green oval-leafed plant about 18 inches tall. These plants grow yellow flowers about 40 days after planting. After pollination, small stems or “pegs” grow down and away from the plant out of the main stems. These pegs extend to the soil and penetrate it. The peanut embryos are in the tips of the pegs and actually grow horizontally BELOW THE SURFACE of the soil. This cycle of being above ground > being below ground is extremely reminiscent of the living above ground > living in the underworld cycle that Persephone goes through. On the subject of Persephone: In the “Homeric Hymn to Demeter” after Hades abducts Persephone to be his wife, Demeter, her mother, grew extremely depressed and searched for her “all over the earth” which implies all the world’s regions. In conclusion, the Ancient Greek Mythos and Peanut brittle are very closely connected, the World Regions and Peanut brittle are closely connected, and Greek Mythology and the World’s regions are closely connected.

Sources:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persephone

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soteria_(mythology)

https://www.agmrc.org/commodities-products/nuts/peanut-profile

https://www.nationalpeanutboard.org/peanut-info/how-peanuts-grow.htm

https://www.riverstreetsweets.com/about-peanut-brittle

https://www.candyfavorites.com/peanut-brittle-candy-history

https://sweetsmithcandyco.com/blogs/sweet-nothings/history-of-peanut-brittle
 

kuantum

🍔Arbiters? Intern🍔
=(eGO)=
Peanut brittle is a sweet made with melted sugar or corn syrup with water, with peanuts, a leavening agent, and spices, spread out and hardened and cooled before broken into pieces. It is a staple of the American South, and was eaten by confederate soldiers in the Civil War. Peanut brittle is a worldwide candy, and confectioners in the Middle East mix pistachios into their batches, while in Asia, they add sesame seeds along with the peanuts. Peanut brittle is the perfect medium for the various regions of the world to express their cultural tastes, because its simple yet delicious recipe leaves much room to put a regional spin on it.

There are two widely known Folk tales for the invention of peanut brittle:

  1. Around 1890, a Southern woman created peanut brittle by mistake. Apparently she was making taffy when she added baking soda instead of cream of tartar. However, not wanting to waste the ingredients, she continued cooking it, resulting in a brittle hard candy. She enjoyed the candy and later found that adding peanuts made it even better.
  2. The next tale starts with a lumberjack named Tony Beaver who saved his village. Tony lived in the mountains in the 19th century and stockpiled jumbo sized peanuts- and because Tony was a giant they were the perfect size for him. Then it rained for multiple days and the river began to rise and was going to flood and it was going to destroy the village. So Tony came up with an idea to save the village; he dumped the jumbo sized peanuts and molasses into the river which formed a thick brown mass and when it hardened it stopped the water from rising. The place where the villagers got water was now blocked because of his creation. So Tony broke off a piece of the hardened mass and realized it tasted good, and peanut brittle was born.
In Ancient Greek mythology, Persephone is the goddess of spring, and vegetation(specifically greens). Now you might think that peanuts are not greens, because “they’re nuts right?”. Wrong. Peanuts are not technically nuts, they are legumes, and are closer related to peas and beans, so peanuts do technically fall under Persephone’s domain. One epithet of hers is Kore Soteira, "the savior maiden", symbolizing safety and salvation, deliverance, and preservation from harm. This perfectly ties into the themes of both the peanut brittle origin stories (preservation of food, safety from the flood). As is well known, Persephone is the Goddess of Spring and Nature and a goddess of the underworld, and the seasons are associated with her descent into the underworld (Winter) and her return (causing spring). This is strikingly similar to the life cycle of peanuts themselves. Peanuts grow into a green oval-leafed plant about 18 inches tall. These plants grow yellow flowers about 40 days after planting. After pollination, small stems or “pegs” grow down and away from the plant out of the main stems. These pegs extend to the soil and penetrate it. The peanut embryos are in the tips of the pegs and actually grow horizontally BELOW THE SURFACE of the soil. This cycle of being above ground > being below ground is extremely reminiscent of the living above ground > living in the underworld cycle that Persephone goes through. On the subject of Persephone: In the “Homeric Hymn to Demeter” after Hades abducts Persephone to be his wife, Demeter, her mother, grew extremely depressed and searched for her “all over the earth” which implies all the world’s regions. In conclusion, the Ancient Greek Mythos and Peanut brittle are very closely connected, the World Regions and Peanut brittle are closely connected, and Greek Mythology and the World’s regions are closely connected.

Sources:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Persephone

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soteria_(mythology)

https://www.agmrc.org/commodities-products/nuts/peanut-profile

https://www.nationalpeanutboard.org/peanut-info/how-peanuts-grow.htm

https://www.riverstreetsweets.com/about-peanut-brittle

https://www.candyfavorites.com/peanut-brittle-candy-history

https://sweetsmithcandyco.com/blogs/sweet-nothings/history-of-peanut-brittle
"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a ****? No, does it look like I give even the slightest **** about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?
 

Arbiter

⚔️ EGO Dictator ⚔️
=(eGO)=
"Based"? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "Based"? Are you so mentally handicapped that the only word you can comprehend is "Based" - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "Based" once again. Do I give a ****? No, does it look like I give even the slightest **** about five fucking letters? I bet you took the time to type those five letters too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "Based" on your gravestone?
On January 28, 1986, the Challenger space shuttle on mission STS-51-L exploded 73 seconds after takeoff killing all 7 passengers on board after an O-ring failure possibly caused by the temperatures of the previous night being below freezing preventing the dual O-rings on the solid rocket booster. One of the casualties on the shuttle that day was Christina McAuliffe, a teacher from Concord High School, Christina was on the shuttle that day because of President Ronald Reagans plan to raise awareness for space flight, to inspire young kids to become astronauts, and to prove space flight is safe. The result of the president's ambition was the “Teacher in Space Project,” however there were at one point other plans to accomplish Reagan's goals. One of the more hilarious ideas was to send the character “Big Bird” from the kid’s show Sesame Street. The idea was considered for a while before they realized that Big Bird was too large to sit in the seats of the shuttle. In a separate universe not too far from our own Big Bird was stationed on the shuttle on January 28th in front of an eager nation. As the two 590 ton, solid rocket boosters ignited below him and the launch clamps released Big Bird began to rise into the air on a column of smoke. The nation watched eagerly as 450 million dollars began flying up into the sky until at T+58.7 a camera on the ground spotted a flame coming from the right SRB. Slightly over 13 seconds later millions of kids watched in horror as Big Bird was disintegrated at T+73.1 after launch. The last recorded message coming from the challenger before it detonated was from the pilot of the ship,” Uh Oh.” After the explosion, it is unknown if the crew died in the explosion or not but due to the design of the space shuttle they had no chance to escape. As the shuttle plummeted towards the ground at mach 1.2 the last thing the crew that wasn’t passed out because of G forces or dead because of the explosion would see was the ocean fast approaching.
 

kuantum

🍔Arbiters? Intern🍔
=(eGO)=
On January 28, 1986, the Challenger space shuttle on mission STS-51-L exploded 73 seconds after takeoff killing all 7 passengers on board after an O-ring failure possibly caused by the temperatures of the previous night being below freezing preventing the dual O-rings on the solid rocket booster. One of the casualties on the shuttle that day was Christina McAuliffe, a teacher from Concord High School, Christina was on the shuttle that day because of President Ronald Reagans plan to raise awareness for space flight, to inspire young kids to become astronauts, and to prove space flight is safe. The result of the president's ambition was the “Teacher in Space Project,” however there were at one point other plans to accomplish Reagan's goals. One of the more hilarious ideas was to send the character “Big Bird” from the kid’s show Sesame Street. The idea was considered for a while before they realized that Big Bird was too large to sit in the seats of the shuttle. In a separate universe not too far from our own Big Bird was stationed on the shuttle on January 28th in front of an eager nation. As the two 590 ton, solid rocket boosters ignited below him and the launch clamps released Big Bird began to rise into the air on a column of smoke. The nation watched eagerly as 450 million dollars began flying up into the sky until at T+58.7 a camera on the ground spotted a flame coming from the right SRB. Slightly over 13 seconds later millions of kids watched in horror as Big Bird was disintegrated at T+73.1 after launch. The last recorded message coming from the challenger before it detonated was from the pilot of the ship,” Uh Oh.” After the explosion, it is unknown if the crew died in the explosion or not but due to the design of the space shuttle they had no chance to escape. As the shuttle plummeted towards the ground at mach 1.2 the last thing the crew that wasn’t passed out because of G forces or dead because of the explosion would see was the ocean fast approaching.
I am coming back from my 10 minute ban, and I want to say that I think it was bullshit. Yes, I wrote a funny paragraph that turned into copypasta, which happened to bring a laugh or a smile to a few people. If you mods wanted that to stop, you could have just said so, there is so much copypasta going on in this chat that I could have never thought that deserved a 10 minute ban. Reggie is probably a mod in here and he is the one that banned me. Anyway, I'm glad to be back
 

Custom Stats

EGO Is My Life!
=(eGO)=
There’s no denying it: nothing is as important as location when looking for the perfect home. At The Core Apartments, you will reside at an ideal address set 6 minutes away from Downtown, in the heart of the Heights District! Add exceptional amenities and urban-styled floor plans in the mix, and it’s clear that our apartments near Memorial Park have it all.

Life is fun for our four legged friends at The Core. Whether it's a place to take that daily walk or somewhere to enjoy some downtime together, all kinds of great amenities are provided onsite and are easily accessible throughout The Heights to make sure your pet feels at home.

artworks-u4IuLG2xxjDqxh9t-wr5ceA-t500x500.jpg
 
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Arbiter

⚔️ EGO Dictator ⚔️
=(eGO)=
Sir Nigel Archibald Thornberry, KBE (born April 19, 1951) is the host of Nigel Thornberry's Wild World. Nigel has devoted his entire life to studying all kinds of wild animals and their habitats. His dry wit and hearty laugh are almost as noticeable as his bright red hair and bushy mustache. Besides narrating the show, he is an experienced pilot and wood grower and has often risked life and limb to save his wife and daughters from extremely perilous situations they find themselves in on their travels. He was recently knighted by the Queen of England and even considered taking a professorship at Oxford in order to allow his daughters to have "normal" lives and to have human friends (in Eliza's case), but even this honor won't quench the need for adventure in his blood as he continues his journeys to the far corners of the globe in search of one elusive species after another.
 

KumQuat

CumQuat
Advisor
For the last several years, Fortnite has dominated popular culture and won the hearts and minds of countless youth and young adults, myself included. From the goofy emotes and cartoon graphics to the intense shootouts, there is a lot to enjoy about this game. At any given time of day or night, I can hop online and be thrown into the arena with ninety-nine other players, in a desperate attempt to loot, shoot, and build my way to victory. Fortnite is more than a game, it's my religion. Not a day goes by I don't daydream of clapping cheeks off the battle bus, watching 30-year-old men flirt with the entire lobby, and continuing to degrade myself by playing the great game known to man. Obviously, I love Fortnite.

Does that make me a little biased? Maybe. Regardless, when we take an objective look at it, is it really all that good to get swept up with the rest of the world in search of a Victory Royale? You’ve heard of those people who get addicted to video games, locked away in their rooms – never to see the sunlight again. In fact, several of those people probably exist right here in the community. You’ve read up on the studies showing how video games will slow development and almost certainly lead to violence. Granted, the sole purpose of this game is to eliminate all enemies to be the last left alive, but does that really mean all these negatives are true? While in extreme cases (as with anything), addictive and negative tendencies can appear, Fortnite, however, when played in moderation, does not lead to the negative tendencies we often associate with video games; rather, it has the potential to promote comradery among friends while also developing critical thinking and cognition in its players. Instead, the game leads to clinical depression, obesity, and a general desire to stop living, at least in my case. My therapist tells me these feelings will pass, but truthfully they're not that bad, I've only spent close to $7600 on Fortnite, pennies, compared to some.

I can recall my first win on Fortnite. Three of my friends and I had been working for what seemed like forever to get a win. Finally, everything went just right: a Victory Royale! In no less than a second, our adrenaline was pumping and we were all shouting with excitement. At the same time, my wife filed for divorce. Regardless, at the time, it was a momentous achievement, but looking back on it, it was much more. Not only was a liberated from my relationship with my wife, who had done nothing wrong, and was supplying the income for my entire family, raising three dogs, had a child on the way, and was overall just a great person... it turned me into a man. LITTLE DID I KNOW, that Fortnite epic dub would make me grow chest hair, get a deeper voice, and also have my family cut of communication with me. It was trusting that your teammate would watch your back and you would watch theirs. It was recognizing potential dangers and exercising efficient communication skills to make call-outs. The competitive nature of the game brought the four us of together to achieve something significant to us. In this way, competition is one of the best stimuli for comradery among friends.

For me, Fortnite allows me to spend time with the homies. Even though they relentlessly bully me every time I get onto Raidcall, they're still tight as hell, g'. . Fortnite is a medium that brings people together, or in my case, leads to divorce and lots of debt, and also an addiction to Fortnite branded Dorito bags. In truth, it's possible that Fortnite bridges great distances to allow a user to spend time with friends from far away. Kathy, please come home.

Additionally, Fortnite allows its users the opportunity to develop cognitively. After my first victory royale, my IQ went up from 34, to 38, respectfully. I believe there is a link between epic dubs and increase cognitive function. Fortnite requires you to use your credit card to flex on individuals of a poorer economic status, something I was able to easily do, until my divorce.



In conclusion, Fortnite is the greatest creation of mankind, far surpassing the abilities of disease-curing surgeries, artificial intelligence, and Flaming Hot Cheetos.

Carroll, Charlotte. “UMBC Player Compares Virgnia Win to Beating Fortnite.” SI.com, 17 Mar.
2018, www.si.com/college-basketball/2018/03/17/umbc-virginia-upset-fortnite-win. Ferguson, Christopher J., and Cheryl K. Olson. “Video Game Violence Use Among ‘Vulnerable’
Populations: The Impact of Violent Games on Delinquency and Bullying Among Children with Clinically Elevated Depression or Attention Deficit Symptoms.”SpringerLink, Springer US, 24 Aug. 2013, link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs10964-013-9986-5. Hughes, Emily. “Effect of Video Games on Child Development.” Developmental Psychology at
Vanderbilt, 24 Apr. 2014, my.vanderbilt.edu/developmentalpsychologyblog/2014/04/effect-of-video-games-on- child-development/ Kirkorian, Heather L., Ellen A. Wartella, and Daniel R. Anderson. "Media and Young Children’s
Learning." https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/1eb4/77ab946978f0c3db60b3977f046a383a67df.pdf
Nice footnotes
 

kuantum

🍔Arbiters? Intern🍔
=(eGO)=
Sir Nigel Archibald Thornberry, KBE (born April 19, 1951) is the host of Nigel Thornberry's Wild World. Nigel has devoted his entire life to studying all kinds of wild animals and their habitats. His dry wit and hearty laugh are almost as noticeable as his bright red hair and bushy mustache. Besides narrating the show, he is an experienced pilot and wood grower and has often risked life and limb to save his wife and daughters from extremely perilous situations they find themselves in on their travels. He was recently knighted by the Queen of England and even considered taking a professorship at Oxford in order to allow his daughters to have "normal" lives and to have human friends (in Eliza's case), but even this honor won't quench the need for adventure in his blood as he continues his journeys to the far corners of the globe in search of one elusive species after another.
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
 

MilkMan

Poster
=(e)=
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
Forgot to cite your work,
F
 

Maruchan

EGO Zealot
=(eGO)=
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
Before boarding your rocket to Mars, remember to pack these items for your first day on the job.. The best rockets can go to Mars for only $1. 6 billion each.. That 's a fraction of a trillion dollars you would need to pay to fly your way around the world and back again. The best rockets are big, fast , and capable of going faster than the speed of sound. And, they need only a fraction of what you can get for your money in the big stores! ( Not to mention that there are a lot more rockets and space missions to be had in the future! ) So you want to be prepared for your trip to Mars , whether you intend to work in space , launch a cargo mission, or build a space.
 

Erk

Boo 😊
=(eGO)=
I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.” SEQ. 75 - “INTRO TO BARRY” INT. BENSON HOUSE - DAY ANGLE ON: Sneakers on the ground. Camera PANS UP to reveal BARRY BENSON’S BEDROOM ANGLE ON: Barry’s hand flipping through different sweaters in his closet. BARRY Yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black...oohh, black and yellow... ANGLE ON: Barry wearing the sweater he picked, looking in the mirror. BARRY (CONT’D) Yeah, let’s shake it up a little. He picks the black and yellow one. He then goes to the sink, takes the top off a CONTAINER OF HONEY, and puts some honey into his hair. He squirts some in his mouth and gargles. Then he takes the lid off the bottle, and rolls some on like deodorant. CUT TO: INT. BENSON HOUSE KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS Barry’s mother, JANET BENSON, yells up at Barry. JANET BENSON Barry, breakfast is ready! CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 1. INT. BARRY’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS BARRY Coming! SFX: Phone RINGING. Barry’s antennae vibrate as they RING like a phone. Barry’s hands are wet. He looks around for a towel. BARRY (CONT’D) Hang on a second! He wipes his hands on his sweater, and pulls his antennae down to his ear and mouth. BARRY (CONT'D) Hello? His best friend, ADAM FLAYMAN, is on the other end. ADAM Barry? BARRY Adam? ADAM Can you believe this is happening? BARRY Can’t believe it. I’ll pick you up. Barry sticks his stinger in a sharpener. SFX: BUZZING AS HIS STINGER IS SHARPENED. He tests the sharpness with his finger. SFX: Bing. BARRY (CONT’D) Looking sharp. ANGLE ON: Barry hovering down the hall, sliding down the staircase bannister. Barry’s mother, JANET BENSON, is in the kitchen. JANET BENSON Barry, why don’t you use the stairs? Your father paid good money for those. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 2. BARRY Sorry, I’m excited. Barry’s father, MARTIN BENSON, ENTERS. He’s reading a NEWSPAPER with the HEADLINE, “Queen gives birth to thousandtuplets: Resting Comfortably.” MARTIN BENSON Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, Son. And a perfect report card, all B’s. JANET BENSON (mushing Barry’s hair) Very proud. BARRY Ma! I’ve got a thing going here. Barry re-adjusts his hair, starts to leave. JANET BENSON You’ve got some lint on your fuzz. She picks it off. BARRY Ow, that’s me! MARTIN BENSON Wave to us. We’ll be in row 118,000. Barry zips off. BARRY Bye! JANET BENSON Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! CUT TO: SEQ. 750 - DRIVING TO GRADUATION EXT. BEE SUBURB - MORNING A GARAGE DOOR OPENS. Barry drives out in his CAR. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 3. ANGLE ON: Barry’s friend, ADAM FLAYMAN, standing by the curb. He’s reading a NEWSPAPER with the HEADLINE: “Frisbee Hits Hive: Internet Down. Bee-stander: “I heard a sound, and next thing I knew...wham-o!.” Barry drives up, stops in front of Adam. Adam jumps in. BARRY Hey, Adam. ADAM Hey, Barry. (pointing at Barry’s hair) Is that fuzz gel? BARRY A little. It’s a special day. Finally graduating. ADAM I never thought I’d make it. BARRY Yeah, three days of grade school, three days of high school. ADAM Those were so awkward. BARRY Three days of college. I’m glad I took off one day in the middle and just hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM You did come back different. They drive by a bee who’s jogging. ARTIE Hi Barry! BARRY (to a bee pedestrian) Hey Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. Barry and Adam drive from the suburbs into the city. ADAM Hey, did you hear about Frankie? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 4. BARRY Yeah. ADAM You going to his funeral? BARRY No, I’m not going to his funeral. Everybody knows you sting someone you die, you don’t waste it on a squirrel. He was such a hot head. ADAM Yeah, I guess he could’ve just gotten out of the way. The DRIVE through a loop de loop. BARRY AND ADAM Whoa...Whooo...wheee!! ADAM I love this incorporating the amusement park right into our regular day. BARRY I guess that’s why they say we don’t need vacations. CUT TO: SEQ. 95 - GRADUATION EXT. GRADUATION CEREMONY - CONTINUOUS Barry and Adam come to a stop. They exit the car, and fly over the crowd to their seats. * BARRY * (re: graduation ceremony) * Boy, quite a bit of pomp...under * the circumstances. * They land in their seats. BARRY (CONT’D) Well Adam, today we are men. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 5. ADAM We are. BARRY Bee-men. ADAM Amen! BARRY Hallelujah. Barry hits Adam’s forehead. Adam goes into the rapture. An announcement comes over the PA. ANNOUNCER (V.O) Students, faculty, distinguished bees...please welcome, Dean Buzzwell. ANGLE ON: DEAN BUZZWELL steps up to the podium. The podium has a sign that reads: “Welcome Graduating Class of:”, with train-station style flipping numbers after it. BUZZWELL Welcome New Hive City graduating class of... The numbers on the podium change to 9:15. BUZZWELL (CONT’D) ...9:15. (he clears his throat) And that concludes our graduation ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries. BARRY Are we going to pick our job today? ADAM I heard it’s just orientation. The rows of chairs change in transformer-like mechanical motion to Universal Studios type tour trams. Buzzwell walks off stage. BARRY (re: trams) Whoa, heads up! Here we go. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 6. SEQ. 125 - “FACTORY” FEMALE VOICE (V.O) Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. (in Spanish) Dejen las manos y antennas adentro del tram a todos tiempos. BARRY I wonder what it’s going to be like? ADAM A little scary. Barry shakes Adam. BARRY AND ADAM AAHHHH! The tram passes under SIGNS READING: “Honex: A Division of Honesco: A Part of the Hexagon Group.” TRUDY Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco, and a part of the Hexagon group. BARRY This is it! The Honex doors OPEN, revealing the factory. BARRY (CONT’D) Wow. TRUDY We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant pollen jocks bring the nectar to the hive where our top secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent adjusted and bubble contoured into this... Trudy GRABS a TEST TUBE OF HONEY from a technician. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 7. TRUDY (CONT’D) ...soothing, sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow, you all know as... EVERYONE ON THE TRAM (in unison) H-o-n-e-y. Trudy flips the flask into the crowd, and laughs as they all scramble for it. ANGLE ON: A GIRL BEE catching the honey. ADAM (sotto) That girl was hot. BARRY (sotto) She’s my cousin. ADAM She is? BARRY Yes, we’re all cousins. ADAM Right. You’re right. TRUDY At Honex, we also constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress testing a new helmet technology. ANGLE ON: A STUNT BEE in a HELMET getting hit with a NEWSPAPER, then a SHOE, then a FLYSWATTER. He gets up, and gives a “thumb’s up”. The graduate bees APPLAUD. ADAM (re: stunt bee) What do you think he makes? BARRY Not enough. TRUDY And here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 8. BARRY Wow, what does that do? TRUDY Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. ANGLE ON: The Krelman machine. Bees with hand-shaped hats on, rotating around a wheel to catch drips of honey. Adam’s hand shoots up. ADAM Can anyone work on the Krelman? TRUDY Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it’s done well, means a lot. There are over 3000 different bee occupations. But choose carefully, because you’ll stay in the job that you pick for the rest of your life. The bees CHEER. ANGLE ON: Barry’s smile dropping slightly. BARRY The same job for the rest of your life? I didn’t know that. ADAM What’s the difference? TRUDY And you’ll be happy to know that bees as a species haven’t had one day off in 27 million years. BARRY So you’ll just work us to death? TRUDY (laughing) We’ll sure try. Everyone LAUGHS except Barry. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 9. The tram drops down a log-flume type steep drop. Cameras flash, as all the bees throw up their hands. The frame freezes into a snapshot. Barry looks concerned. The tram continues through 2 doors. FORM DISSOLVE TO: SEQ. 175 - “WALKING THE HIVE” INT. HONEX LOBBY ANGLE ON: The log-flume photo, as Barry looks at it. ADAM Wow. That blew my mind. BARRY (annoyed) “What’s the difference?” Adam, how could you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make. ADAM Well, I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY But Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM Barry, why would you question anything? We’re bees. We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. They walk by a newspaper stand with A SANDWICH BOARD READING: “Bee Goes Berserk: Stings Seven Then Self.” ANGLE ON: A BEE filling his car’s gas tank from a honey pump. He fills his car some, then takes a swig for himself. NEWSPAPER BEE (to the bee guzzling gas) Hey! Barry and Adam begin to cross the street. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 10. BARRY Yeah but Adam, did you ever think that maybe things work a little too well around here? They stop in the middle of the street. The traffic moves perfectly around them. ADAM Like what? Give me one example. BARRY (thinks) ...I don’t know. But you know what I’m talking about. They walk off. SEQ. 400 - “MEET THE JOCKS” SFX: The SOUND of Pollen Jocks. PAN DOWN from the Honex statue. J-GATE ANNOUNCER Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY Wait a second. Check it out. Hey, hey, those are Pollen jocks. ADAM Wow. FOUR PATROL BEES FLY in through the hive’s giant Gothic entrance. The Patrol Bees are wearing fighter pilot helmets with black visors. ADAM (CONT’D) I’ve never seen them this close. BARRY They know what it’s like to go outside the hive. ADAM Yeah, but some of them don’t come back. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 11. The nectar from the pollen jocks is removed from their backpacks, and loaded into trucks on their way to Honex. A SMALL CROWD forms around the Patrol Bees. Each one has a PIT CREW that takes their nectar. Lou Loduca hurries a pit crew along: LOU LODUCA You guys did great! You’re monsters. You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it! SCHOOL GIRLS are jumping up and down and squealing nearby. BARRY I wonder where those guys have just been? ADAM I don’t know. BARRY Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who-knows-where, doing who-knows-what. ADAM You can’t just decide one day to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. BARRY Right. Pollen Jocks cross in close proximity to Barry and Adam. Some pollen falls off, onto Barry and Adam. BARRY (CONT’D) Look at that. That’s more pollen than you and I will ever see in a lifetime. ADAM (playing with the pollen) It’s just a status symbol. I think bees make too big a deal out of it. BARRY Perhaps, unless you’re wearing it, and the ladies see you wearing it. ANGLE ON: Two girl bees. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 12. ADAM Those ladies? Aren’t they our cousins too? BARRY Distant, distant. ANGLE ON: TWO POLLEN JOCKS. JACKSON Look at these two. SPLITZ Couple of Hive Harrys. JACKSON Let’s have some fun with them. The pollen jocks approach. Barry and Adam continue to talk to the girls. GIRL 1 It must be so dangerous being a pollen jock. BARRY Oh yeah, one time a bear had me pinned up against a mushroom. He had one paw on my throat, and with the other he was slapping me back and forth across the face. GIRL 1 Oh my. BARRY I never thought I’d knock him out. GIRL 2 (to Adam) And what were you doing during all of this? ADAM Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. The girl swipes some pollen off of Adam with a finger. BARRY (re: pollen) I can autograph that if you want. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 13. JACKSON Little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades? BARRY Yeah. Gusty. BUZZ You know, we’re going to hit a sunflower patch about six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY Six miles, huh? ADAM (whispering) Barry. BUZZ It’s a puddle-jump for us. But maybe you’re not up for it. BARRY Maybe I am. ADAM (whispering louder) You are not! BUZZ We’re going, oh-nine hundred at JGate. ADAM (re: j-gate) Whoa. BUZZ (leaning in, on top of Barry) What do you think, Buzzy Boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY I might be. It all depends on what oh-nine hundred means. CUT TO: SEQ. 450 - “THE BALCONY” "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 14. INT. BENSON HOUSE BALCONY - LATER Barry is standing on the balcony alone, looking out over the city. Martin Benson ENTERS, sneaks up behind Barry and gooses him in his ribs. MARTIN BENSON Honex! BARRY Oh, Dad. You surprised me. MARTIN BENSON (laughing) Have you decided what you’re interested in, Son? BARRY Well, there’s a lot of choices. MARTIN BENSON But you only get one. Martin LAUGHS. BARRY Dad, do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN BENSON Son, let me tell you something about stirring. (making the stirring motion) You grab that stick and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm, it’s a beautiful thing. BARRY You know dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn’t right for me. MARTIN BENSON And you were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a stinger. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 15. BARRY Well no... MARTIN BENSON Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into honey. JANET BENSON Oh Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY I’m not trying to be funny. MARTIN BENSON You’re not funny, you’re going into honey. Our son, the stirrer. JANET BENSON You’re going to be a stirrer?! BARRY No one’s listening to me. MARTIN BENSON Wait until you see the sticks I have for you. BARRY I can say anything I want right now. I’m going to get an ant tattoo. JANET BENSON Let’s open some fresh honey and celebrate. BARRY Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax! MARTIN BENSON (toasting) To honey! BARRY Shave my antennae! JANET BENSON To honey! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 16. BARRY Shack up with a grasshopper, get a gold tooth, and start calling everybody “Dawg.” CUT TO: SEQ. 760 - “JOB PLACEMENT” EXT. HONEX LOBBY - CONTINUOUS ANGLE ON: A BEE BUS STOP. One group of bees stands on the pavement, as another group hovers above them. A doubledecker bus pulls up. The hovering bees get on the top level, and the standing bees get on the bottom. Barry and Adam pull up outside of Honex. ADAM I can’t believe we’re starting work today. BARRY Today’s the day. Adam jumps out of the car. ADAM (O.C) Come on. All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY Yeah, right... ANGLE ON: A BOARD READING: “JOB PLACEMENT BOARD”. Buzzwell, the Bee Processor, is at the counter. Another BEE APPLICANT, SANDY SHRIMPKIN is EXITING. SANDY SHRIMPKIN Is it still available? BUZZWELL Hang on. (he looks at changing numbers on the board) Two left. And...one of them’s yours. Congratulations Son, step to the side please. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 17. SANDY SHRIMPKIN Yeah! ADAM (to Sandy, leaving) What did you get? SANDY SHRIMPKIN Picking the crud out. That is stellar! ADAM Wow. BUZZWELL (to Adam and Barry) Couple of newbies? ADAM Yes Sir. Our first day. We are ready. BUZZWELL Well, step up and make your choice. ANGLE ON: A CHART listing the different sectors of Honex. Heating, Cooling, Viscosity, Krelman, Pollen Counting, Stunt Bee, Pouring, Stirrer, Humming, Regurgitating, Front Desk, Hair Removal, Inspector No. 7, Chef, Lint Coordinator, Stripe Supervisor, Antennae-ball polisher, Mite Wrangler, Swatting Counselor, Wax Monkey, Wing Brusher, Hive Keeper, Restroom Attendant. ADAM (to Barry) You want to go first? BARRY No, you go. ADAM Oh my. What’s available? BUZZWELL Restroom attendant is always open, and not for the reason you think. ADAM Any chance of getting on to the Krelman, Sir? BUZZWELL Sure, you’re on. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 18. He plops the KRELMAN HAT onto Adam’s head. ANGLE ON: The job board. THE COLUMNS READ: “OCCUPATION” “POSITIONS AVAILABLE”, and “STATUS”. The middle column has numbers, and the right column has job openings flipping between “open”, “pending”, and “closed”. BUZZWELL (CONT’D) Oh, I’m sorry. The Krelman just closed out. ADAM Oh! He takes the hat off Adam. BUZZWELL Wax Monkey’s always open. The Krelman goes from “Closed” to “Open”. BUZZWELL (CONT’D) And the Krelman just opened up again. ADAM What happened? BUZZWELL Well, whenever a bee dies, that’s an opening. (pointing at the board) See that? He’s dead, dead, another dead one, deady, deadified, two more dead. Dead from the neck up, dead from the neck down. But, that’s life. ANGLE ON: Barry’s disturbed expression. ADAM (feeling pressure to decide) Oh, this is so hard. Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector no. 7, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, antenna-ball polisher, mite wrangler-- Barry, Barry, what do you think I should-- Barry? Barry? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 19. Barry is gone. CUT TO: SEQ. 775 - “LOU LODUCA SPEECH” EXT. J-GATE - SAME TIME Splitz, Jackson, Buzz, Lou and two other BEES are going through final pre-flight checks. Barry ENTERS. LOU LODUCA Alright, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine. Geranium window box on Sutton Place... Barry’s antennae rings, like a phone. ADAM (V.O) What happened to you? Where are you? Barry whispers throughout. BARRY I’m going out. ADAM (V.O) Out? Out where? BARRY Out there. ADAM (V.O) (putting it together) Oh no. BARRY I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM (V.O) You’re going to die! You’re crazy! Hello? BARRY Oh, another call coming in. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 20. ADAM (V.O) You’re cra-- Barry HANGS UP. ANGLE ON: Lou Loduca. LOU LODUCA If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean Deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. BARRY (timidly) Hey guys. BUZZ Well, look at that. SPLITZ Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LODUCA (to Barry) Hold it son, flight deck’s restricted. JACKSON It’s okay Lou, we’re going to take him up. Splitz and Jackson CHUCKLE. LOU LODUCA Really? Feeling lucky, are ya? A YOUNGER SMALLER BEE THAN BARRY, CHET, runs up with a release waiver for Barry to sign. CHET Sign here. Here. Just initial that. Thank you. LOU LODUCA Okay, you got a rain advisory today and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, (reading off clipboard) watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears, and bats. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 21. Also, I got a couple reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, just babbling like a cicada. BARRY That’s awful. LOU LODUCA And a reminder for all you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans. Alright, launch positions! The Jocks get into formation, chanting as they move. LOU LODUCA (CONT’D) Black and Yellow! JOCKS Hello! SPLITZ (to Barry) Are you ready for this, hot shot? BARRY Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Barry NODS, terrified. BUZZ Wind! - CHECK! JOCK #1 Antennae! - CHECK! JOCK #2 Nectar pack! - CHECK! JACKSON Wings! - CHECK! SPLITZ Stinger! - CHECK! BARRY Scared out of my shorts - CHECK. LOU LODUCA Okay ladies, let’s move it out. Everyone FLIPS their goggles down. Pit crew bees CRANK their wings, and remove the starting blocks. We hear loud HUMMING. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 22. LOU LODUCA (CONT'D) LOU LODUCA (CONT’D) Pound those petunia's, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! A FLIGHT DECK GUY in deep crouch hand-signals them out the archway as the backwash from the bee wings FLUTTERS his jump suit. Barry follows everyone. SEQ. 800 - “FLYING WITH THE JOCKS” The bees climb above tree tops in formation. Barry is euphoric. BARRY Whoa! I’m out! I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. Ha ha ha! (a beat) I feel so fast...and free. (re: kites in the sky) Box kite! Wow! They fly by several bicyclists, and approach a patch of flowers. BARRY (CONT'D) Flowers! SPLITZ This is blue leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around thirty degrees and hold. BARRY (sotto) Roses. JACKSON Thirty degrees, roger, bringing it around. Many pollen jocks break off from the main group. They use their equipment to collect nectar from flowers. Barry flies down to watch the jocks collect the nectar. JOCK Stand to the side kid, it’s got a bit of a kick. The jock fires the gun, and recoils. Barry watches the gun fill up with nectar. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 23. BARRY Oh, that is one Nectar Collector. JOCK You ever see pollination up close? BARRY No, Sir. He takes off, and the excess pollen dust falls causing the flowers to come back to life. JOCK (as he pollinates) I pick some pollen up over here, sprinkle it over here, maybe a dash over there, pinch on that one...see that? It’s a little bit of magic, ain’t it? The FLOWERS PERK UP as he pollinates. BARRY Wow. That’s amazing. Why do we do that? JOCK ...that’s pollen power, Kid. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY Cool. The Jock WINKS at Barry. Barry rejoins the other jocks in the sky. They swoop in over a pond, kissing the surface. We see their image reflected in the water; they’re really moving. They fly over a fountain. BUZZ I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow, could be daisies. Don’t we need those? SPLITZ Copy that visual. We see what appear to be yellow flowers on a green field. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 24. They go into a deep bank and dive. BUZZ Hold on, one of these flowers seems to be on the move. SPLITZ Say again...Are you reporting a moving flower? BUZZ Affirmative. SEQ. 900 - “TENNIS GAME” The pollen jocks land. It is a tennis court with dozens of tennis balls. A COUPLE, VANESSA and KEN, plays tennis. The bees land right in the midst of a group of balls. KEN (O.C) That was on the line! The other bees start walking around amongst the immense, yellow globes. SPLITZ This is the coolest. What is it? They stop at a BALL on a white line and look up at it. JACKSON I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. SPLITZ (smelling tennis ball) Smells good. Not like a flower. But I like it. JACKSON Yeah, fuzzy. BUZZ Chemical-y. JACKSON Careful, guys, it’s a little grabby. Barry LANDS on a ball and
 

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🍔Arbiters? Intern🍔
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According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway. Because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.” SEQ. 75 - “INTRO TO BARRY” INT. BENSON HOUSE - DAY ANGLE ON: Sneakers on the ground. Camera PANS UP to reveal BARRY BENSON’S BEDROOM ANGLE ON: Barry’s hand flipping through different sweaters in his closet. BARRY Yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black, yellow black...oohh, black and yellow... ANGLE ON: Barry wearing the sweater he picked, looking in the mirror. BARRY (CONT’D) Yeah, let’s shake it up a little. He picks the black and yellow one. He then goes to the sink, takes the top off a CONTAINER OF HONEY, and puts some honey into his hair. He squirts some in his mouth and gargles. Then he takes the lid off the bottle, and rolls some on like deodorant. CUT TO: INT. BENSON HOUSE KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS Barry’s mother, JANET BENSON, yells up at Barry. JANET BENSON Barry, breakfast is ready! CUT TO: "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 1. INT. BARRY’S ROOM - CONTINUOUS BARRY Coming! SFX: Phone RINGING. Barry’s antennae vibrate as they RING like a phone. Barry’s hands are wet. He looks around for a towel. BARRY (CONT’D) Hang on a second! He wipes his hands on his sweater, and pulls his antennae down to his ear and mouth. BARRY (CONT'D) Hello? His best friend, ADAM FLAYMAN, is on the other end. ADAM Barry? BARRY Adam? ADAM Can you believe this is happening? BARRY Can’t believe it. I’ll pick you up. Barry sticks his stinger in a sharpener. SFX: BUZZING AS HIS STINGER IS SHARPENED. He tests the sharpness with his finger. SFX: Bing. BARRY (CONT’D) Looking sharp. ANGLE ON: Barry hovering down the hall, sliding down the staircase bannister. Barry’s mother, JANET BENSON, is in the kitchen. JANET BENSON Barry, why don’t you use the stairs? Your father paid good money for those. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 2. BARRY Sorry, I’m excited. Barry’s father, MARTIN BENSON, ENTERS. He’s reading a NEWSPAPER with the HEADLINE, “Queen gives birth to thousandtuplets: Resting Comfortably.” MARTIN BENSON Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, Son. And a perfect report card, all B’s. JANET BENSON (mushing Barry’s hair) Very proud. BARRY Ma! I’ve got a thing going here. Barry re-adjusts his hair, starts to leave. JANET BENSON You’ve got some lint on your fuzz. She picks it off. BARRY Ow, that’s me! MARTIN BENSON Wave to us. We’ll be in row 118,000. Barry zips off. BARRY Bye! JANET BENSON Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! CUT TO: SEQ. 750 - DRIVING TO GRADUATION EXT. BEE SUBURB - MORNING A GARAGE DOOR OPENS. Barry drives out in his CAR. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 3. ANGLE ON: Barry’s friend, ADAM FLAYMAN, standing by the curb. He’s reading a NEWSPAPER with the HEADLINE: “Frisbee Hits Hive: Internet Down. Bee-stander: “I heard a sound, and next thing I knew...wham-o!.” Barry drives up, stops in front of Adam. Adam jumps in. BARRY Hey, Adam. ADAM Hey, Barry. (pointing at Barry’s hair) Is that fuzz gel? BARRY A little. It’s a special day. Finally graduating. ADAM I never thought I’d make it. BARRY Yeah, three days of grade school, three days of high school. ADAM Those were so awkward. BARRY Three days of college. I’m glad I took off one day in the middle and just hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM You did come back different. They drive by a bee who’s jogging. ARTIE Hi Barry! BARRY (to a bee pedestrian) Hey Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. Barry and Adam drive from the suburbs into the city. ADAM Hey, did you hear about Frankie? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 4. BARRY Yeah. ADAM You going to his funeral? BARRY No, I’m not going to his funeral. Everybody knows you sting someone you die, you don’t waste it on a squirrel. He was such a hot head. ADAM Yeah, I guess he could’ve just gotten out of the way. The DRIVE through a loop de loop. BARRY AND ADAM Whoa...Whooo...wheee!! ADAM I love this incorporating the amusement park right into our regular day. BARRY I guess that’s why they say we don’t need vacations. CUT TO: SEQ. 95 - GRADUATION EXT. GRADUATION CEREMONY - CONTINUOUS Barry and Adam come to a stop. They exit the car, and fly over the crowd to their seats. * BARRY * (re: graduation ceremony) * Boy, quite a bit of pomp...under * the circumstances. * They land in their seats. BARRY (CONT’D) Well Adam, today we are men. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 5. ADAM We are. BARRY Bee-men. ADAM Amen! BARRY Hallelujah. Barry hits Adam’s forehead. Adam goes into the rapture. An announcement comes over the PA. ANNOUNCER (V.O) Students, faculty, distinguished bees...please welcome, Dean Buzzwell. ANGLE ON: DEAN BUZZWELL steps up to the podium. The podium has a sign that reads: “Welcome Graduating Class of:”, with train-station style flipping numbers after it. BUZZWELL Welcome New Hive City graduating class of... The numbers on the podium change to 9:15. BUZZWELL (CONT’D) ...9:15. (he clears his throat) And that concludes our graduation ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries. BARRY Are we going to pick our job today? ADAM I heard it’s just orientation. The rows of chairs change in transformer-like mechanical motion to Universal Studios type tour trams. Buzzwell walks off stage. BARRY (re: trams) Whoa, heads up! Here we go. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 6. SEQ. 125 - “FACTORY” FEMALE VOICE (V.O) Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. (in Spanish) Dejen las manos y antennas adentro del tram a todos tiempos. BARRY I wonder what it’s going to be like? ADAM A little scary. Barry shakes Adam. BARRY AND ADAM AAHHHH! The tram passes under SIGNS READING: “Honex: A Division of Honesco: A Part of the Hexagon Group.” TRUDY Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco, and a part of the Hexagon group. BARRY This is it! The Honex doors OPEN, revealing the factory. BARRY (CONT’D) Wow. TRUDY We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant pollen jocks bring the nectar to the hive where our top secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent adjusted and bubble contoured into this... Trudy GRABS a TEST TUBE OF HONEY from a technician. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 7. TRUDY (CONT’D) ...soothing, sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow, you all know as... EVERYONE ON THE TRAM (in unison) H-o-n-e-y. Trudy flips the flask into the crowd, and laughs as they all scramble for it. ANGLE ON: A GIRL BEE catching the honey. ADAM (sotto) That girl was hot. BARRY (sotto) She’s my cousin. ADAM She is? BARRY Yes, we’re all cousins. ADAM Right. You’re right. TRUDY At Honex, we also constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress testing a new helmet technology. ANGLE ON: A STUNT BEE in a HELMET getting hit with a NEWSPAPER, then a SHOE, then a FLYSWATTER. He gets up, and gives a “thumb’s up”. The graduate bees APPLAUD. ADAM (re: stunt bee) What do you think he makes? BARRY Not enough. TRUDY And here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 8. BARRY Wow, what does that do? TRUDY Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. ANGLE ON: The Krelman machine. Bees with hand-shaped hats on, rotating around a wheel to catch drips of honey. Adam’s hand shoots up. ADAM Can anyone work on the Krelman? TRUDY Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it’s done well, means a lot. There are over 3000 different bee occupations. But choose carefully, because you’ll stay in the job that you pick for the rest of your life. The bees CHEER. ANGLE ON: Barry’s smile dropping slightly. BARRY The same job for the rest of your life? I didn’t know that. ADAM What’s the difference? TRUDY And you’ll be happy to know that bees as a species haven’t had one day off in 27 million years. BARRY So you’ll just work us to death? TRUDY (laughing) We’ll sure try. Everyone LAUGHS except Barry. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 9. The tram drops down a log-flume type steep drop. Cameras flash, as all the bees throw up their hands. The frame freezes into a snapshot. Barry looks concerned. The tram continues through 2 doors. FORM DISSOLVE TO: SEQ. 175 - “WALKING THE HIVE” INT. HONEX LOBBY ANGLE ON: The log-flume photo, as Barry looks at it. ADAM Wow. That blew my mind. BARRY (annoyed) “What’s the difference?” Adam, how could you say that? One job forever? That’s an insane choice to have to make. ADAM Well, I’m relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY But Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM Barry, why would you question anything? We’re bees. We’re the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. They walk by a newspaper stand with A SANDWICH BOARD READING: “Bee Goes Berserk: Stings Seven Then Self.” ANGLE ON: A BEE filling his car’s gas tank from a honey pump. He fills his car some, then takes a swig for himself. NEWSPAPER BEE (to the bee guzzling gas) Hey! Barry and Adam begin to cross the street. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 10. BARRY Yeah but Adam, did you ever think that maybe things work a little too well around here? They stop in the middle of the street. The traffic moves perfectly around them. ADAM Like what? Give me one example. BARRY (thinks) ...I don’t know. But you know what I’m talking about. They walk off. SEQ. 400 - “MEET THE JOCKS” SFX: The SOUND of Pollen Jocks. PAN DOWN from the Honex statue. J-GATE ANNOUNCER Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY Wait a second. Check it out. Hey, hey, those are Pollen jocks. ADAM Wow. FOUR PATROL BEES FLY in through the hive’s giant Gothic entrance. The Patrol Bees are wearing fighter pilot helmets with black visors. ADAM (CONT’D) I’ve never seen them this close. BARRY They know what it’s like to go outside the hive. ADAM Yeah, but some of them don’t come back. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 11. The nectar from the pollen jocks is removed from their backpacks, and loaded into trucks on their way to Honex. A SMALL CROWD forms around the Patrol Bees. Each one has a PIT CREW that takes their nectar. Lou Loduca hurries a pit crew along: LOU LODUCA You guys did great! You’re monsters. You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it! SCHOOL GIRLS are jumping up and down and squealing nearby. BARRY I wonder where those guys have just been? ADAM I don’t know. BARRY Their day’s not planned. Outside the hive, flying who-knows-where, doing who-knows-what. ADAM You can’t just decide one day to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. BARRY Right. Pollen Jocks cross in close proximity to Barry and Adam. Some pollen falls off, onto Barry and Adam. BARRY (CONT’D) Look at that. That’s more pollen than you and I will ever see in a lifetime. ADAM (playing with the pollen) It’s just a status symbol. I think bees make too big a deal out of it. BARRY Perhaps, unless you’re wearing it, and the ladies see you wearing it. ANGLE ON: Two girl bees. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 12. ADAM Those ladies? Aren’t they our cousins too? BARRY Distant, distant. ANGLE ON: TWO POLLEN JOCKS. JACKSON Look at these two. SPLITZ Couple of Hive Harrys. JACKSON Let’s have some fun with them. The pollen jocks approach. Barry and Adam continue to talk to the girls. GIRL 1 It must be so dangerous being a pollen jock. BARRY Oh yeah, one time a bear had me pinned up against a mushroom. He had one paw on my throat, and with the other he was slapping me back and forth across the face. GIRL 1 Oh my. BARRY I never thought I’d knock him out. GIRL 2 (to Adam) And what were you doing during all of this? ADAM Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. The girl swipes some pollen off of Adam with a finger. BARRY (re: pollen) I can autograph that if you want. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 13. JACKSON Little gusty out there today, wasn’t it, comrades? BARRY Yeah. Gusty. BUZZ You know, we’re going to hit a sunflower patch about six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY Six miles, huh? ADAM (whispering) Barry. BUZZ It’s a puddle-jump for us. But maybe you’re not up for it. BARRY Maybe I am. ADAM (whispering louder) You are not! BUZZ We’re going, oh-nine hundred at JGate. ADAM (re: j-gate) Whoa. BUZZ (leaning in, on top of Barry) What do you think, Buzzy Boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY I might be. It all depends on what oh-nine hundred means. CUT TO: SEQ. 450 - “THE BALCONY” "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 14. INT. BENSON HOUSE BALCONY - LATER Barry is standing on the balcony alone, looking out over the city. Martin Benson ENTERS, sneaks up behind Barry and gooses him in his ribs. MARTIN BENSON Honex! BARRY Oh, Dad. You surprised me. MARTIN BENSON (laughing) Have you decided what you’re interested in, Son? BARRY Well, there’s a lot of choices. MARTIN BENSON But you only get one. Martin LAUGHS. BARRY Dad, do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN BENSON Son, let me tell you something about stirring. (making the stirring motion) You grab that stick and you just move it around, and you stir it around. You get yourself into a rhythm, it’s a beautiful thing. BARRY You know dad, the more I think about it, maybe the honey field just isn’t right for me. MARTIN BENSON And you were thinking of what, making balloon animals? That’s a bad job for a guy with a stinger. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 15. BARRY Well no... MARTIN BENSON Janet, your son’s not sure he wants to go into honey. JANET BENSON Oh Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY I’m not trying to be funny. MARTIN BENSON You’re not funny, you’re going into honey. Our son, the stirrer. JANET BENSON You’re going to be a stirrer?! BARRY No one’s listening to me. MARTIN BENSON Wait until you see the sticks I have for you. BARRY I can say anything I want right now. I’m going to get an ant tattoo. JANET BENSON Let’s open some fresh honey and celebrate. BARRY Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax! MARTIN BENSON (toasting) To honey! BARRY Shave my antennae! JANET BENSON To honey! "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 16. BARRY Shack up with a grasshopper, get a gold tooth, and start calling everybody “Dawg.” CUT TO: SEQ. 760 - “JOB PLACEMENT” EXT. HONEX LOBBY - CONTINUOUS ANGLE ON: A BEE BUS STOP. One group of bees stands on the pavement, as another group hovers above them. A doubledecker bus pulls up. The hovering bees get on the top level, and the standing bees get on the bottom. Barry and Adam pull up outside of Honex. ADAM I can’t believe we’re starting work today. BARRY Today’s the day. Adam jumps out of the car. ADAM (O.C) Come on. All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY Yeah, right... ANGLE ON: A BOARD READING: “JOB PLACEMENT BOARD”. Buzzwell, the Bee Processor, is at the counter. Another BEE APPLICANT, SANDY SHRIMPKIN is EXITING. SANDY SHRIMPKIN Is it still available? BUZZWELL Hang on. (he looks at changing numbers on the board) Two left. And...one of them’s yours. Congratulations Son, step to the side please. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 17. SANDY SHRIMPKIN Yeah! ADAM (to Sandy, leaving) What did you get? SANDY SHRIMPKIN Picking the crud out. That is stellar! ADAM Wow. BUZZWELL (to Adam and Barry) Couple of newbies? ADAM Yes Sir. Our first day. We are ready. BUZZWELL Well, step up and make your choice. ANGLE ON: A CHART listing the different sectors of Honex. Heating, Cooling, Viscosity, Krelman, Pollen Counting, Stunt Bee, Pouring, Stirrer, Humming, Regurgitating, Front Desk, Hair Removal, Inspector No. 7, Chef, Lint Coordinator, Stripe Supervisor, Antennae-ball polisher, Mite Wrangler, Swatting Counselor, Wax Monkey, Wing Brusher, Hive Keeper, Restroom Attendant. ADAM (to Barry) You want to go first? BARRY No, you go. ADAM Oh my. What’s available? BUZZWELL Restroom attendant is always open, and not for the reason you think. ADAM Any chance of getting on to the Krelman, Sir? BUZZWELL Sure, you’re on. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 18. He plops the KRELMAN HAT onto Adam’s head. ANGLE ON: The job board. THE COLUMNS READ: “OCCUPATION” “POSITIONS AVAILABLE”, and “STATUS”. The middle column has numbers, and the right column has job openings flipping between “open”, “pending”, and “closed”. BUZZWELL (CONT’D) Oh, I’m sorry. The Krelman just closed out. ADAM Oh! He takes the hat off Adam. BUZZWELL Wax Monkey’s always open. The Krelman goes from “Closed” to “Open”. BUZZWELL (CONT’D) And the Krelman just opened up again. ADAM What happened? BUZZWELL Well, whenever a bee dies, that’s an opening. (pointing at the board) See that? He’s dead, dead, another dead one, deady, deadified, two more dead. Dead from the neck up, dead from the neck down. But, that’s life. ANGLE ON: Barry’s disturbed expression. ADAM (feeling pressure to decide) Oh, this is so hard. Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, humming, inspector no. 7, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, antenna-ball polisher, mite wrangler-- Barry, Barry, what do you think I should-- Barry? Barry? "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 19. Barry is gone. CUT TO: SEQ. 775 - “LOU LODUCA SPEECH” EXT. J-GATE - SAME TIME Splitz, Jackson, Buzz, Lou and two other BEES are going through final pre-flight checks. Barry ENTERS. LOU LODUCA Alright, we’ve got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine. Geranium window box on Sutton Place... Barry’s antennae rings, like a phone. ADAM (V.O) What happened to you? Where are you? Barry whispers throughout. BARRY I’m going out. ADAM (V.O) Out? Out where? BARRY Out there. ADAM (V.O) (putting it together) Oh no. BARRY I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM (V.O) You’re going to die! You’re crazy! Hello? BARRY Oh, another call coming in. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 20. ADAM (V.O) You’re cra-- Barry HANGS UP. ANGLE ON: Lou Loduca. LOU LODUCA If anyone’s feeling brave, there’s a Korean Deli on 83rd that gets their roses today. BARRY (timidly) Hey guys. BUZZ Well, look at that. SPLITZ Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LODUCA (to Barry) Hold it son, flight deck’s restricted. JACKSON It’s okay Lou, we’re going to take him up. Splitz and Jackson CHUCKLE. LOU LODUCA Really? Feeling lucky, are ya? A YOUNGER SMALLER BEE THAN BARRY, CHET, runs up with a release waiver for Barry to sign. CHET Sign here. Here. Just initial that. Thank you. LOU LODUCA Okay, you got a rain advisory today and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. So be careful. As always, (reading off clipboard) watch your brooms, hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears, and bats. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 21. Also, I got a couple reports of root beer being poured on us. Murphy’s in a home because of it, just babbling like a cicada. BARRY That’s awful. LOU LODUCA And a reminder for all you rookies, bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans. Alright, launch positions! The Jocks get into formation, chanting as they move. LOU LODUCA (CONT’D) Black and Yellow! JOCKS Hello! SPLITZ (to Barry) Are you ready for this, hot shot? BARRY Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. Barry NODS, terrified. BUZZ Wind! - CHECK! JOCK #1 Antennae! - CHECK! JOCK #2 Nectar pack! - CHECK! JACKSON Wings! - CHECK! SPLITZ Stinger! - CHECK! BARRY Scared out of my shorts - CHECK. LOU LODUCA Okay ladies, let’s move it out. Everyone FLIPS their goggles down. Pit crew bees CRANK their wings, and remove the starting blocks. We hear loud HUMMING. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 22. LOU LODUCA (CONT'D) LOU LODUCA (CONT’D) Pound those petunia's, you striped stem-suckers! All of you, drain those flowers! A FLIGHT DECK GUY in deep crouch hand-signals them out the archway as the backwash from the bee wings FLUTTERS his jump suit. Barry follows everyone. SEQ. 800 - “FLYING WITH THE JOCKS” The bees climb above tree tops in formation. Barry is euphoric. BARRY Whoa! I’m out! I can’t believe I’m out! So blue. Ha ha ha! (a beat) I feel so fast...and free. (re: kites in the sky) Box kite! Wow! They fly by several bicyclists, and approach a patch of flowers. BARRY (CONT'D) Flowers! SPLITZ This is blue leader. We have roses visual. Bring it around thirty degrees and hold. BARRY (sotto) Roses. JACKSON Thirty degrees, roger, bringing it around. Many pollen jocks break off from the main group. They use their equipment to collect nectar from flowers. Barry flies down to watch the jocks collect the nectar. JOCK Stand to the side kid, it’s got a bit of a kick. The jock fires the gun, and recoils. Barry watches the gun fill up with nectar. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 23. BARRY Oh, that is one Nectar Collector. JOCK You ever see pollination up close? BARRY No, Sir. He takes off, and the excess pollen dust falls causing the flowers to come back to life. JOCK (as he pollinates) I pick some pollen up over here, sprinkle it over here, maybe a dash over there, pinch on that one...see that? It’s a little bit of magic, ain’t it? The FLOWERS PERK UP as he pollinates. BARRY Wow. That’s amazing. Why do we do that? JOCK ...that’s pollen power, Kid. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY Cool. The Jock WINKS at Barry. Barry rejoins the other jocks in the sky. They swoop in over a pond, kissing the surface. We see their image reflected in the water; they’re really moving. They fly over a fountain. BUZZ I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow, could be daisies. Don’t we need those? SPLITZ Copy that visual. We see what appear to be yellow flowers on a green field. "Bee Movie" - JS REVISIONS 8/13/07 24. They go into a deep bank and dive. BUZZ Hold on, one of these flowers seems to be on the move. SPLITZ Say again...Are you reporting a moving flower? BUZZ Affirmative. SEQ. 900 - “TENNIS GAME” The pollen jocks land. It is a tennis court with dozens of tennis balls. A COUPLE, VANESSA and KEN, plays tennis. The bees land right in the midst of a group of balls. KEN (O.C) That was on the line! The other bees start walking around amongst the immense, yellow globes. SPLITZ This is the coolest. What is it? They stop at a BALL on a white line and look up at it. JACKSON I don’t know, but I’m loving this color. SPLITZ (smelling tennis ball) Smells good. Not like a flower. But I like it. JACKSON Yeah, fuzzy. BUZZ Chemical-y. JACKSON Careful, guys, it’s a little grabby. Barry LANDS on a ball and
Do british people actually exist? I mean, they must be a meme, there is a not a single thing about them. And I mean it.

Let's go through the evidence: Where are they from? Not a single country in the world is named Britain. Some people say they come from England, and England is inside Britain, but if that was the case they would be British they would be Englanders. Also, heard some silly theories about them coming from whales. Guys, no, whale people do not exist. Whales live in the sea.

There is a consensus on British people coming from Europe, but then we are left with a whole continent of possible locations. That's as good as nothing. What do they eat? Every country has at least one main dish. Even the US has their burgers. But these British people, what do they eat? Heard some people associating them with tea, but everyone knows that's an Asian thing. Shouldn't they come from Europe? One of these two points must be wrong them. To me, it looks too sketchy.

What language do they speak? I challenge you, putting all my money and my ass on the line here, to find a supposed ""British"" person speaking their native language. Most of then just speak a broken ENGLISH. Yes, english. Really suspicious, huh? And I even tried to look deeper into it. Maybe british just SOUND like english, just like spanish could sound like portuguese for a non-speaker. So I looked up "british dictionary on google" and what I found was shocking: every word in there was AMERICAN. I kid you not. What this could mean is beyond my capabilities, but I can safely assure you that british people do not exist.
 
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