Chuck Norris Facts.

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Mostly Harmless

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I dont Know if this has been posted before but, I found this the other day and couldnt stop laughing.... Facts about Chuck Norris (These are some of my favorites)



1 Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
2 Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
3 There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
4 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
5 When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
6 Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
7 How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it.
8 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
9 Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the Earth.
10There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

this is just 10 of them you can even get it on a shirt.... chucknorrisfacts.com is the name of the site if you wanna check it out


fixed numder 2 thanks wal mart !lol
 
Haha, some of them are just so ridiculous it's kinda hard not to laugh.

"Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot."
 
Oh noes it's a T-Rex!

I guess I must be 100 Million years in the past, hearing these jokes anyway...

(Vin Diesel is where it's at.)
 
Chuck Norris is capable of photosynthesis

Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.

Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.

^^^ those are my fav. from the site :)
 
If you dont know who Chuck Norris is, he's the world champion in tae kwon do, jujutsu, kickboxing, karate, sumo wrsetling, tae bo, pad thai, street fighter 2, and he holds a certificate of participation in the national spelling bee.

Chuck norris has fought in almost every major war, including the korean war, WW1, The american civil war, the peloponnesian war, the Iran Iraq war (on both sides simultaneously), the war of the worlds, and the war on drugs. Chuck Norris wins wars by attrition.( I think thats an end all to chuck norris jokes, if not i got more :p)
 
Harmless your forgetting some.......

Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.

Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER.

Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light...not becasue he is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afaid of Chuck Norris.

Everyone wants to be like Mike, but Mike wants to be like Chuck Norris.
 
-Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
-Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
-Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
-Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
-Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
-They once tried to carve Chuck Norris' face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
-Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
-Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
 
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