Joke thread =)

K

Kawaii~~

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Well finally had some time to go on both INS and the forums *woot* so I noticed forums aren't alive as they were in the summer and I realize its because of school etc.. which is understandable so I decided to liven things up a bit by making a joke thread this is how it goes =)

1. Make a joke about the person on top of you
2. Cannot break any of the rules
3. Cannot be too mean (keep it fun ^^)
4. Remember this is good nature =)
 
^ is neagtive half the time. (if i am seeing your pic correctly its almost midnight and im exhausted)
 
Two fish are swimming. One swims into a concrete wall. The other fish says, "Dam." :lol:

A horse walks into a bar. Barkeep asks, "Why the long face?"

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of the clowns looks up at the other and asks, "Does something taste funny to you?" :crying: :lol: :laugh: :lol: :drool:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
 
LOL NICE! Pimp. Ya cant beat the classics. I got one for ya.

Billy Bob's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine and your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother... he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"

"Denise," says the doctor.

The new mother says, "Wow, that's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise." Then she asks, "What's the boy's name?"

"Denephew."
 
Haha yeah man that one is pretty good.

This one is my all time favorites...

An Irishman moved into a tiny hamlet in County Kerry. He walks into the local pub, orders three pints of Guinness takes them to a table and proceeds to drink them taking his time. He repeats this two times and then leaves the pub.
A few nights later he returns to the pub, orders three pints of Guinness, takes them to a table and drinks them taking his time. He repeats this two times and leaves the pub. He continues this for several weeks. Soon the entire town is talking about the "Three Pint Man."
Finally, one day the pub owner on behalf of the entire town broaches the subject to the man. "I don't mean to pry, but folks are quite curious why you order three pints each time you come in ."
The man replied, "I have two brothers - one in America and one in Australia. When we parted ways we all promised that each time we had a drink, we would order an extra two pints as a way of keeping up with each other."
The pub owner and the entire town thought this was wonderful and were pleased that the brothers meant so much to each other. "The Three Pint Man" became a celebrity not only to the town but to the surrounding area.
One day the man came into the pub and orders only two pints of Guinness. The pub owner poured them with a heavy heart knowing in his soul that something dreadful must have happened. The news spreads around town and people are offering prays for the "Three Pint Man."
This went on for a few weeks and the pub owner says to the man, "I want to offer our condolences due to death of your brother. We are all heart broken. You know the two pints and all."
The man ponders this for a few minutes and replies, "You will be glad to hear that my brothers are alive and well. It's just that I, meself, have quit drinking, for Lent."
 
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Hahaha I was looking through some Irish jokes and found this one, pretty damn funny.

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini . . .

. . . each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave.

"S' cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, "what was that all about?"

"Nothin', said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!"
 
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. --Frank Sinatra
 
^ Cant read the rules of this game! :P

Silly Smurf, its making jokes about the person above you! ;)

(Joke was for Pimp Daddy but people spam too much ;))
 
Well I personally don't like making fun of people... ...so I made my own damn rules!

Now read this one, its hilarious!

A Texan, a New Yorker, and a New Jersey resident were drinking . . .

. . . their favorite beverage in a bar. The Texan drained his glass of tequila, threw the half-full bottle up in the air, drew and fired his pistol, shattering the bottle.

The other two were shocked at his ruining perfectly good tequila. The Texan, however, simply drew himself up and announced: "Where I come from, we have plenty of tequila."

The New Yorker, not to be outdone, drained his glass of wine, threw the half-full wine bottle into the air, drew and fired his pistol, also shattering his bottle. Looking over at the other two with an air of superiority characteristic of New Yorkers, he announced, "Where I come from, we have plenty of fine wine and the best of everything."

The New Jersey resident drained his bottle of Yingling Lager, threw it up in the air, drew his pistol and shot the New Yorker dead. He then caught the bottle on the way down and showed it to the Texan: "Where I come from," he said slowly, "we recycle bottles...and we have too many New Yorkers."
 
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