Joke of the Week!
- Thread starter MaLm
- Start date
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2009
- Messages
- 510
A man dies and goes to Hell. The devil offers to personally escort the man around so he can choose the section of hell he would like to be in. The first section has everybody being burned constantly and getting a glass of water every 7 hours. The second section has everybody working hard and getting a glass of water every three hours. The last section has everybody kneedeep in crap.
"Well, this doesn't look too bad -- and it beats being burned or working. I'll take the crap."
"Okay," says the devil. "Everybody back on their heads."
"Well, this doesn't look too bad -- and it beats being burned or working. I'll take the crap."
"Okay," says the devil. "Everybody back on their heads."
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2009
- Messages
- 2,865
A man goes to the docter, he says to the docter:"i have pain everywhere, when i thouch my leg it hurts, when i thouch my arm it hurts". The docter takes a look at the patient and says "ah... i see... your finger is broken" 
lol
lolA man goes to the docter, he says to the docter:"i have pain everywhere, when i thouch my leg it hurts, when i thouch my arm it hurts". The docter takes a look at the patient and says "ah... i see... your finger is broken"
Smart one!
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2009
- Messages
- 1,209
As you probably know MaLM, I do send "Funny message of the day" to all in my steam friendlist everyday, so I might write today's funny message here 
:
Do you know what cannibals do when they has headaches?
Eating medicine man ...
many other funny jokes here aswell :') nice !
: Do you know what cannibals do when they has headaches?
Eating medicine man ...
many other funny jokes here aswell :') nice !
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2009
- Messages
- 510
You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2009
- Messages
- 510
A friend of mine just died. He was 84 years old, died broke. At the funeral, everyone said, 'What a shame, he died penniless.' I don't know -- to me that sounds like perfect timing on a hell of a budget.
- Joined
- Jul 31, 2009
- Messages
- 510
Fifty cents to use the pay toilets at Taco Bell. What's Taco Bell telling us when taking a dump is 50 cents, but a Fiesta Taco is 39 cents? What is that -- eat now, pay later?
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2009
- Messages
- 842
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
Or, my favorite:
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300?C.
The Russians used a pencil.
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“
Or, my favorite:
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300?C.
The Russians used a pencil.
Lol! That is a good one.
A man goes to the docter, he says to the docter:"i have pain everywhere, when i thouch my leg it hurts, when i thouch my arm it hurts". The docter takes a look at the patient and says "ah... i see... your finger is broken"
This is my favourite, I'll have to use it sometime.
