Article ITT I attempt to review every movie I've seen.

[Sexy Beast]

Title: Hot Fuzz
Year: 2007
Country of Origin: UK
Director: Edgar Wright

Story: Super cop gets reassigned to a sleepy little village.

Review The second film from the same team that brought us Shaun of the Dead, now brings us a film that spoofs action films...and like their previous effort, they manage to make a great action film also. The story follows super cop Nicholas Angel as he is transferred out of London for being to good at his job. Angle is sent to a small village in the country where soon after he arrives he notices something sinister about a series of gruesome deaths all of which are labeled accidents. The comedy is smart and the references come fast. Timothy Dalton does amazing job as the obviously guilty antagonist.

[7.5/10]

 

[Sexy Beast]

You mean second?

lol, yeah.

 

[Sexy Beast]

Mad Max.

Apparently George Miller got tired of making kids movies, cus the 4th one is slated to come out next year.

Title: Mad Max
Year: 1979
Country of Origin: Australia
Director: George Miller

Story: "I'm a fuel injected suicide machine"

Review: Great dystopian film about a cop who starts a personal vendetta against a vicious road gang. Star making role for Gibson and helped to launch the career of director George Miller. The film is incredibly well shot and edited. It's such a well done and such an iconic film that you owe yourself to see it.

[8/10]

 

[Sexy Beast]

Title: Naked Lunch
Year: 1991
Country of Origin: Canada
Director: David Cronenberg

Story: "No American should find himself in a foreign land without a pistol."

Review: A strange and sort of sad tale about a man who descends into a hallucinated fantasy world that is conjured up after he gets high off of insecticide. Based on Burroughs' unfilmable novel of the same name, does a pretty good job capturing the insanity of the book. Peter Weller does a great job in the lead role and manages to convey the convictions of a character who has not realized that he no longer in reality.

[7/10]

 

[Sexy Beast]

Title: The Quick and the Dead
Year: 1995
Country of Origin: US
Director: Sam Raimi

Story: An amalgamation of just about every western ever.

Review: This is not a good western, the story or stories are hackneyed and tiresome. Raimi took a lot from Leone's Dollar Trilogy and Once Upon a Time in the West when writing this film. The direction utilizes Raimi's standard hyper-kinetic camera work, but it doesn't really work here.

[4.5/10]

 

[Split]

ruh roh rexy beast, it for a rooby doo rovie review
Scooby doo on zombie island?

 

[Split]

Title: Mind Game
Year: 2004
Country of Origin: Japan
Director: Masaaki Yuasa

Story: The story of a young man who; gets shot in the butt...dies, meets god, comes back to life, gets into a car chase and winds up getting swallowed by a whale.

Review: Weird and deeply metaphoric Anime film that explores second chances and the possibility of redemption. Definitely not for all tastes, there is little action and the pacing is pretty slow...but in the end it's pretty rewarding.

[8/10]

my mind....blown dude

 

[Split]

I do believe that you are right.

Title: Watchmen
Year: 2009
Country of Origin: US
Director: Zack Snyder

Story: The Times They Are a-Changin'

Review: I sort of wanted to see the directors cut before I reviewed this...but whatever. Here is the bad news, I'm a big fan of the Comic book/Graphic Novel and as such...it's kind of hard to judge this film objectively.

So anyway, the basic story is that from the 1930s-1980s costumed vigilantes roamed the streets of America enforcing the law Batman style. In the 80s this style of justice was outlawed. Most of the costumed vigilantes either retired or went to work for the government, except for one named Rorschach. When one of the ones who was working for the government is killed, Rorschach comes into investigate only to discover a greater conspiracy.

The film is well done, but has its fair share of flaws. There is several cases of miscasting and some really poor choices in the soundtrack department. Though when you take it all in...it's kind of obvious that this was probably the best adaption of Watchmen that we we're going to get. In hindsight, I have to agree with Moore. Watchmen probably shouldn't have been adapted, to much was cut from the source material and it hurts the impact of the story. If you've never experience Watchmen, then skip the film and go read the book.

[7/10]

directors cut, an extra hour, but a lot more of the story unfolds

 

[Carmine]

directors cut, an extra hour, but a lot more of the story unfolds

It is an extra 23 or so minutes, not an hour.

 

[Sexy Beast]

Title: The Naked City
Year: 1948
Country of Origin: US
Director: Jules Dassin

Story: "There are eight million stories in the Naked City; this has been one of them."

Review: The film that created the police procedural, that's right; CSI, Law & Order, NCIS...etc all owe this film. The story follows a criminal case from murder to arrest, well attempted arrest. The film was shot in New York City and it definitely helps cinematography. Unfortunately after year of imitators and shows like CSI, this film has lost something...it's no longer a cool or original idea. It's still worth a watch though.

[7/10]

 

[Sexy Beast]

ruh roh rexy beast, it for a rooby doo rovie review
Scooby doo on zombie island?

Why, couldn't you recommend a less painful film.

Title: Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island
Year: 1998
Country of Origin: US
Director: Hiroshi Aoyama

Story: Scooby-Doo learns to be culturally insensitive to voodoo.

Review: Ehh...yeah. I know I've seen this one, but for the life of me I can't remember a thing about it. I tried to read the plot on Wikipedia to refresh my memory and then I noticed how long it was....who in the hell has that much time on their hands to summarize the plot of a Direct-to-Video Scooby-Doo on Wikipedia. I mean holy christ, it's 1500 words long...That's like writing a paper on Scooby-Doo. WTF?

[3/10]

 

[Split]

It is an extra 23 or so minutes, not an hour.

feels like an hour when you are on something recreational

 

[Split]

Why, couldn't you recommend a less painful film.

Title: Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island
Year: 1998
Country of Origin: US
Director: Hiroshi Aoyama

Story: Scooby-Doo learns to be culturally insensitive to voodoo.

Review: Ehh...yeah. I know I've seen this one, but for the life of me I can't remember a thing about it. I tried to read the plot on Wikipedia to refresh my memory and then I noticed how long it was....who in the hell has that much time on their hands to summarize the plot of a Direct-to-Video Scooby-Doo on Wikipedia. I mean holy christ, it's 1500 words long...That's like writing a paper on Scooby-Doo. WTF?

[3/10]

Fine
23 with Jim Carrey

 

[Sexy Beast]

Title: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Year: 1990
Country of Origin: US
Director: Steve Barron

Story: Cowabunga dude.

Review: Oh, hey, look...it's my childhood. Hello childhood, how are you doing? That's good to hear...yeah I know my inner child died, sorry about that. You can blame Scooby-Doo for its death...no the newer ones, the ones in the 90s...yeah those....Oh, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Sure, I can do that.

I think I can imagine how they came up with the idea for this franchise. It definitely had to go like this:

Studio Exec: "Alright guys we need to come up for a new cash cow. Now to optimize the insanity of the idea the title will have 3 adjectives and a noun. Ok go."

Writer #1: "Ehh...that sounds like a f***ing retarded idea and I'm already high, so you know its got to be retarded."

Studio Exec: "I'm not hearing an adjective. I only want to hear adjectives coming out of you guys."

Writer #2: "Teenage?"

Studio Exec: "Yeah, that's good one down, two more to go."

Writer #1: "Here let me emphasize how retarded this is: Mutant. How is that for an adjective?"

Studio Exec: "See that wasn't that hard. One more to go"

Writer #1: "Wait, no I was just joking. I wasn't being serious"

Writer #2: "Oh oh oh, Ninja. Yeah, Ninjas are awesome, kids love ninjas.

Studio Exec: "Ninjas! Brilliant! Now all we need is a noun and we will be rolling in gold"

Writer #2: "Rats?"

Studio Exec: "No, doesn't sound right."

Writer #2: "Rabbits?"

Studio Exec: "No, Warner Brothers have the cartoon rabbit thing."

Writer #1: *Sigh*"...turtles."

Studio Exec: "My God, you're a genius!"

Writer #1: *Face Palm* "I wasted four years of college for this."

It's a campy film that is still a little entertaining.

[6/10]

 

[Cupcake]

Review: Ehh...yeah. I know I've seen this one, but for the life of me I can't remember a thing about it. I tried to read the plot on Wikipedia to refresh my memory and then I noticed how long it was....who in the hell has that much time on their hands to summarize the plot of a Direct-to-Video Scooby-Doo on Wikipedia. I mean holy christ, it's 1500 words long...That's like writing a paper on Scooby-Doo. WTF?

The tag "THIS TIME THE MONSTERS ARE REAL" has been put somewhere on like 90% of the Scooby-Doo movies, both before and after this one, but I think that was the only one where it was true.

Crazy vampire/werewolf ladies pissed off a bunch of zombie pirates and zombie tourists.

 

[Split]

Title: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Year: 1990
Country of Origin: US
Director: Steve Barron

Story: Cowabunga dude.

Review: Oh, hey, look...it's my childhood. Hello childhood, how are you doing? That's good to hear...yeah I know my inner child died, sorry about that. You can blame Scooby-Doo for its death...no the newer ones, the ones in the 90s...yeah those....Oh, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Sure, I can do that.

I think I can imagine how they came up with the idea for this franchise. It definitely had to go like this:

Studio Exec: "Alright guys we need to come up for a new cash cow. Now to optimize the insanity of the idea the title will have 3 adjectives and a noun. Ok go."

Writer #1: "Ehh...that sounds like a f***ing retarded idea and I'm already high, so you know its got to be retarded."

Studio Exec: "I'm not hearing an adjective. I only want to hear adjectives coming out of you guys."

Writer #2: "Teenage?"

Studio Exec: "Yeah, that's good one down, two more to go."

Writer #1: "Here let me emphasize how retarded this is: Mutant. How is that for an adjective?"

Studio Exec: "See that wasn't that hard. One more to go"

Writer #1: "Wait, no I was just joking. I wasn't being serious"

Writer #2: "Oh oh oh, Ninja. Yeah, Ninjas are awesome, kids love ninjas.

Studio Exec: "Ninjas! Brilliant! Now all we need is a noun and we will be rolling in gold"

Writer #2: "Rats?"

Studio Exec: "No, doesn't sound right."

Writer #2: "Rabbits?"

Studio Exec: "No, Warner Brothers have the cartoon rabbit thing."

Writer #1: *Sigh*"...turtles."

Studio Exec: "My God, you're a genius!"

Writer #1: *Face Palm* "I wasted four years of college for this."

It's a campy film that is still a little entertaining.

[6/10]

go go go! Secret of the ooze! go go go!

 

[Carmine]

Iron Man.

 

[Sexy Beast]

Fine
23 with Jim Carrey

By less painful...I didn't mean like a little I ment a lot less painful.

Title: The Number 23
Year: 2007
Country of Origin: US
Director: Joel Schumacher

Story: Jim Carry becomes obsessed with the arbitrary number of 23.

Review: I get what this film is trying to go for, but it sucks. Plain and simple, this movie sucks and it sucks pretty hard. The plot is poorly told and lackluster...all of which is compounded the terribly contrived finally. Carry does an alright job, but he can't salvage this turd.

[2.3/10]

 

[Sexy Beast]

Iron Man.

Title: Iron Man
Year: 2008
Country of Origin: US
Director: Jon Favreau

Story: Cue the Black Sabbath.

Review: One of the more entertaining comic book/superhero adaptations, follows playboy Tony Stark as he becomes a superhero. Downey Jr. does a fantastic job in this role and pretty much cements himself as one of my favorite male leads. The story and scripts is pretty entertaining, but falls off near the end of the film. Still, definitely worth watching.

[7.5/10]

 

[Carmine]

Get Smart.