- Joined
- Sep 8, 2008
- Messages
- 1,948
Thank you all for coming to our panel this evening. I appreciate you taking the time out from your headclicking and sticky spamming to view my presentation.
I'm confident in saying that I'm sure most of you are of course familiar with our ubiquitous mascot, one "Gerbil". Often seen on our servers, our forums, in events, and even in other divisions, our community wouldn't be the same without Gerbil.
But we here at G.E.R.B.I.L. (genetic experimentation regarding badly injured lemmings) have long felt that we could do better. After exhaustive research, experimentation, and loads of grant money wasted on M&Ms, we've finally done it.
Introducing: Gerbil... 2.0.
As you can see, a great many improvements have been made from the original model. The right eye is now a "cyborg lazer eye(tm)", to allow for better sniping. The left eye has been adorned with a classy monocle, for better gentlemanly spying, and there is a matching dapper top hat for the utmost in posh. Last but not least, whisker extensions have been added, so when Gerbil is playing heavy, she can tell exactly how wide a doorway she can fit through.
Please, please, hold your applause. Those are merely the hardware upgrades. Much more software has been added as well, mainly bug fixes and more hat compatibility, but for the latter half of this presentation, I'll introduce our revolutionary new commands:
sm_gerbil
and
!gerbil.
sm_gerbil, when typed into the source console, will unleash a rabid squad of Mini-Gerbils (Mingers for short) upon an unsuspecting player, whose name or user ID should be specified in quotations immediately following the command. The Mingers will make short work of any jokers or hooligans that happen to be disturbing the server. Since this is hard to describe in text, I'll utilize some smilies:
Before Mingers:
After Mingers: :chair:
Our most powerful command, to be typed into the chat box, is !gerbil. Typing this will cause Gerbil 2.0 to produce a powerful "squeak" noise that is sure to amuse friends and vilify foes alike. This command has endless applications, and I'm sure our loyal community of modders will add even more functionality to this command than I thought possible. Currently this command will only work if Gerbil 2.0 is actually present on the server; future patches look to rectify this issue.
Thank you all for coming, I'll be taking questions from the press after I remove several Mingers from my legs.
I'm confident in saying that I'm sure most of you are of course familiar with our ubiquitous mascot, one "Gerbil". Often seen on our servers, our forums, in events, and even in other divisions, our community wouldn't be the same without Gerbil.
But we here at G.E.R.B.I.L. (genetic experimentation regarding badly injured lemmings) have long felt that we could do better. After exhaustive research, experimentation, and loads of grant money wasted on M&Ms, we've finally done it.
Introducing: Gerbil... 2.0.
As you can see, a great many improvements have been made from the original model. The right eye is now a "cyborg lazer eye(tm)", to allow for better sniping. The left eye has been adorned with a classy monocle, for better gentlemanly spying, and there is a matching dapper top hat for the utmost in posh. Last but not least, whisker extensions have been added, so when Gerbil is playing heavy, she can tell exactly how wide a doorway she can fit through.
Please, please, hold your applause. Those are merely the hardware upgrades. Much more software has been added as well, mainly bug fixes and more hat compatibility, but for the latter half of this presentation, I'll introduce our revolutionary new commands:
sm_gerbil
and
!gerbil.
sm_gerbil, when typed into the source console, will unleash a rabid squad of Mini-Gerbils (Mingers for short) upon an unsuspecting player, whose name or user ID should be specified in quotations immediately following the command. The Mingers will make short work of any jokers or hooligans that happen to be disturbing the server. Since this is hard to describe in text, I'll utilize some smilies:
Before Mingers:
After Mingers: :chair:
Our most powerful command, to be typed into the chat box, is !gerbil. Typing this will cause Gerbil 2.0 to produce a powerful "squeak" noise that is sure to amuse friends and vilify foes alike. This command has endless applications, and I'm sure our loyal community of modders will add even more functionality to this command than I thought possible. Currently this command will only work if Gerbil 2.0 is actually present on the server; future patches look to rectify this issue.
Thank you all for coming, I'll be taking questions from the press after I remove several Mingers from my legs.
