A bit of life advice

[Lethedethius]

Hello all, I truly hope you are all faring well in this new and strange world!

As of 9-days ago I finished my Master's degree in History; it's been an experience, to say the least. Now I'm contemplating embarking upon a PhD. But this thread is not about me, it's about you, specifically those of you who are working toward your first accomplishment in life, or haven't had an accomplishment in a while.

1) Don't give up! Worthy accomplishments take time, money, effort, and most of all, cause stress. Whatever your goal takes and where ever your journey is taking you, endure the stress to get there. You will come out a better person.

2) Understand that you will likely lose friends and or family. Rather you're building a business, joining the military, relocating for a job, or attending college, it will undoubtedly stress those relationships that you are normally comfortable in. I personally have strained relationships with both of my brothers among other family members to maintain my job; as many of you know I am in the military and that forces me to focus on work more than family life, of which I have only been able to truly focus on my wife and children. Adding college into my schedule has definitely stretched the distance of what used to be familial relationships. These will heal and you should expect this.

3) Expect setbacks and failure. Albeit I haven't failed a class I have had major setbacks due in large part to my line of work, getting pulled for various unit operations or a family crisis at home. You don't truly know excitement until you're in the ER with your 2-year-old and have an assignment due that same evening. Learn to deal with it, and understand that life is not perfect, nor will the outcomes be.

Rather you're in Middle School, High School, College, a trade school, your first job, second job, recently fired, or about to be retired; this moment is only for a season (meaning the time will pass and you will be unto your next thing in life). My lesson in all of what I have endured these past years of raising a family, working full time, and going to school part-time is to push yourself. Do not simply settle for where you are; embark upon a journey that will set you apart from your peers. Expect failure, expect stress, expect to be ostracized due to the conditions of your journey. Even more, expect to be misunderstood by those who do not seek this journey alongside you. Do your very best to maintain your sanity and keep in contact with those who you love; lastly, I'm going to point back to number 1, Don't Give Up! You will succeed, you will be better for it all. Best of luck to you all!

/Ranting advice over.

Have a great night/day everyone!

 

[JungleHeart]

I was casually browsing the forums for game topics I can engage in then I saw this. I do not regret opening it; thank you for these kind reminders.

All advices are perfect but I would like to discuss #2 which I experienced harshly a few years ago. I took losing friends in an incredibly difficult manner and thought I was doing my best and it's still happening. I attributed the loss to myself, that there may be something I am doing wrong; I'm probably coming off as annoying, unlikable, or probably arrogant — I dunno.

Took me a good 10 more years to finally realize that as we grow older, differences become more set in stone and that losing people is a natural process in life. That doesn't we're terrible nor do we have unlikable traits. We just prefer to keep our circles smaller to be able to manage people's expectations much easier.

Thanks for this post. Hope more people can see it.

 

[heidi]

wholesome post c:

 

[Goosesk]

Get this dude to do a speech at the next clan wide, somebody make it happen

All jokes aside, I love seeing posts like this it really is nice and a slightly heart warming thing to see people give advice like this. Keep working man, hope the phd ends up being worth it if you chose to get it

 

[Exvious]

Thank you kindly for the words mister

 

[Lucas15]

Words of wisdom from a legend. Congrats on achieving your master's degree! Good luck if you choose to push for the doctorate!

 

[Lethedethius]

Words of wisdom from a legend. Congrats on achieving your master's degree! Good luck if you choose to push for the doctorate!

Thank you! I enrolled in the doctorate program a few evenings ago. Let the games begin.

 

[Lethedethius]

Get this dude to do a speech at the next clan wide, somebody make it happen

All jokes aside, I love seeing posts like this it really is nice and a slightly heart warming thing to see people give advice like this. Keep working man, hope the phd ends up being worth it if you chose to get it

I'll do TED Talks for dogecoin haha.

 

[Lethedethius]

I was casually browsing the forums for game topics I can engage in then I saw this. I do not regret opening it; thank you for these kind reminders.

All advices are perfect but I would like to discuss #2 which I experienced harshly a few years ago. I took losing friends in an incredibly difficult manner and thought I was doing my best and it's still happening. I attributed the loss to myself, that there may be something I am doing wrong; I'm probably coming off as annoying, unlikable, or probably arrogant — I dunno.

Took me a good 10 more years to finally realize that as we grow older, differences become more set in stone and that losing people is a natural process in life. That doesn't we're terrible nor do we have unlikable traits. We just prefer to keep our circles smaller to be able to manage people's expectations much easier.

Thanks for this post. Hope more people can see it.

Thank you for your kind words. I fully understand what you went through. The military has separated me from my family for over ten years. During that time I decided that college was a worthy pursuit, and I found a way for the military to pay for it. I missed out on a lot of, what was likely really fun, evenings with co-workers and friends, but I'm able to support my family because of it. I'm okay with that decision. I've lost several friends because they just didn't understand how difficult it was to go through a Bachelors and Masters program, so they ditched me out of the assumption I ditched them. People change, it's just a sad fact of life.

 

[Lethedethius]

Thank you kindly for the words mister

You are welcome. I am happy they were well received. Thank you for taking time out of your schedule to respond!

 

[Exvious]

You are welcome. I am happy they were well received. Thank you for taking time out of your schedule to respond!

lol you don't have to respond so formal feel like I am at work

 

[Lethedethius]

lol you don't have to respond so formal feel like I am at work

LOL. I'm sorry I've been writing papers so long and often that many of my responses are formalized in my head.

 

[Exvious]

LOL. I'm sorry I've been writing papers so long and often that many of my responses are formalized in my head.

no need to be sorry I get the feel. Also welcome back on TTT

 

[Maserati]

I also wanted to share a story and hopefully there's a few tips in it especially with graduations being around the corner.

TLDR: community college to 4 year (with scholarship)= less money or even free.

One regret I have and this is for the HS grads to be, if you can't afford college, but still want to go or rather your parents are making a deal of it... Don't let big names be the deciding factor. Give community college a chance, it might even be free for some! Do well the 2 years and grab a scholarship through Phi Beta Kappa or a similar Honor Society, chances are you can transfer to a 4 year university. The university might even have a partnership with the community college and you'll get in easier and pay a lot less to nothing at all. It took me a few years to realize this is what I should've done.

If you're one of the lucky ones that doesn't have to work (yet), maybe you live at home and don't have responsibilities... take full advantage to study! it's harder once you have to balance School and work schedules and pay for housing. I'm not mad at my mom and cousin for what happened with me now having $60k in student loans... because i "had to" pick a good school by name... That was stupid and we should've researched better when i was 17 going 18 instead of having me blindly follow in my cousins footsteps. Graduated HS in 2004 then around..2006/7 i had to "drop out" from college also i didn't know what i wanted to do for my major so wasted time and money I didn't have. Lol some of you guys probably were 4 or 5 or not born yet (damn that just hit me)

Speaking of... if you do a 4 year college out the door.. do the core classes first in case you decide to change majors later. Last thing you want is to give the college your money for clases that don't count towards anything anymore.

Long story short i had a 2nd chance (2013) and at least got my associates degree in my field. My career came before i finished my 3rd year so still have a year left and the scholarship ran out due to time, it was only good for 2yrs. So make sure you stick to the time they give you to finish when it comes to free money. Since i got my career, school isn't my priority but if the time and opportunity comes I'll finish the final year i have for my bachelor's at my own pace. I could go back anytime I don't owe them lol

Oh and this is for anyone... if you get a credit card, pay it off immediately, don't let it carry a balance! How i do it? I don't touch my checking account at all and use my credit card only for what i have coming in. Once i get paid, i pay off what ive used. Get one that gives you cash back like the venmo one. You'll thank me later!

Good luck gamers!

 

[Dominion]

My name is Dominion and I approve of these helpful messages.

 

[Lethedethius]

I also wanted to share a story and hopefully there's a few tips in it especially with graduations being around the corner.

TLDR: community college to 4 year (with scholarship)= less money or even free.

One regret I have and this is for the HS grads to be, if you can't afford college, but still want to go or rather your parents are making a deal of it... Don't let big names be the deciding factor. Give community college a chance, it might even be free for some! Do well the 2 years and grab a scholarship through Phi Beta Kappa or a similar Honor Society, chances are you can transfer to a 4 year university. The university might even have a partnership with the community college and you'll get in easier and pay a lot less to nothing at all. It took me a few years to realize this is what I should've done.

If you're one of the lucky ones that doesn't have to work (yet), maybe you live at home and don't have responsibilities... take full advantage to study! it's harder once you have to balance School and work schedules and pay for housing. I'm not mad at my mom and cousin for what happened with me now having $60k in student loans... because i "had to" pick a good school by name... That was stupid and we should've researched better when i was 17 going 18 instead of having me blindly follow in my cousins footsteps. Graduated HS in 2004 then around..2006/7 i had to "drop out" from college also i didn't know what i wanted to do for my major so wasted time and money I didn't have. Lol some of you guys probably were 4 or 5 or not born yet (damn that just hit me)

Speaking of... if you do a 4 year college out the door.. do the core classes first in case you decide to change majors later. Last thing you want is to give the college your money for clases that don't count towards anything anymore.

Long story short i had a 2nd chance (2013) and at least got my associates degree in my field. My career came before i finished my 3rd year so still have a year left and the scholarship ran out due to time, it was only good for 2yrs. So make sure you stick to the time they give you to finish when it comes to free money. Since i got my career, school isn't my priority but if the time and opportunity comes I'll finish the final year i have for my bachelor's at my own pace. I could go back anytime I don't owe them lol

Oh and this is for anyone... if you get a credit card, pay it off immediately, don't let it carry a balance! How i do it? I don't touch my checking account at all and use my credit card only for what i have coming in. Once i get paid, i pay off what ive used. Get one that gives you cash back like the venmo one. You'll thank me later!

Good luck gamers!

Concerning your post there are two factors to consider when touching credit cards:

1) Be weary of credit cards if you cannot manage money. The credit card is an extension of your income, not an extension of your potential income. If you make $5,000 a month do not spend $5,001+ on credit cards. Only "borrow" what you intend to pay back immediately.

2) Figure out your local laws but in past situations, I've had my debit card used (though the card wasn't stolen... they just utilized the numbers); the bank manager told my wife and I to use credit cards because the laws are different concerning credit card to debit card, and it's easier to get my money back from a credit card than it is was a debit card, because the debit card implies the thief knows your credit card pin, making it less likely it was an unauthorized use vs just a swipe. However, this was only in one area... so I go back to the statement of understanding your local laws.

Concerning college: I agree nearly wholeheartedly, just make sure that if you join a program with a plan in mind. Don't seek to become an Egyptologist if there is not a demand for Egyptology or you don't have an inside tract to achieve your goal. Secondly, not all Honor Societies are created equal, there are a lot of for profit types lurking around now. I got solicited for a few after completing my Bachelor's and it had all the bells and whistles of a smooth snake-oil operation... I was getting these neat invitations in the mail, on hard paper, with a special code, deadline to apply, and everything... but I was "recommended" by a professor that I had not even taken a class with. I'm a decent writer, but my work does not carry through entire history departments haha... so after doing a bit of research on it... It also only required a 3.0 GPA to apply which didn't seem at all honorish; I decided to throw it away. I instead requested to join Phi Alpha Theta, a history honor society that requires a 3.7 GPA at the graduate level.


Lastly, concerning choosing a school... most employers don't care that you went to Harvard or UC Berkeley. My wife graduated with her Bachelors from Kent State, and is completely employable and only left with $20k debt. Don't feel obligated to attend a university for name recognition... shop around. Harvard, Rice, Yale, etc all are respected names... so is A&M, so is University of North Texas, so are many names in fact. My degree is from Liberty but it could have very well been from any university for the career field I'm going into (high school teaching and online university teaching).

By the way, at my current job (the military), I fully intend on hanging up my diploma; my high school diploma, just to confuse the living heck out of people.