The "Talk Like Zelda Game Dialog" Thread!

=[Ga]= AutoDMC

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Just last week, my sister was playing The Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess, and I was doing my favorite pastime of watching somebody else play a video game (While I do love playing video games myself, there's quite a bit of fun to be had in watching somebody else... you get to enjoy the highs without the soul crushing defeats of GAME OVERs.).

In any case we were having fun reading the dialog screens. We decided that they were most fun read as if being read by a hokey movie catholic monk. Give it a try! (You've seen the movies of the middle ages with some monk intoning the Bible... you know what I mean.)

In the process we were suddenly struck by the interesting color scheme used in Zelda Dialog Text, something they've done since A Link To The Past, except they've gotten worse at it as time has gone on. In LttP, you'd get text like:

You must go get the Macguffin of Ultimate Glitteriness and take it to the Temple of Ominous Background Music.

I mean, it makes sense. The highlighted words were important and deserved to be highlighted. The use of fixed width fonts on a low resolution display device (your TV) required you to highlight words with color, not change in style. I can dig it.

However, later incarnations have gone overboard in their highlighting, using seven or eight different colors and seemingly highlighting words at random. Yeah, chaos theory predicts that randomly highlighting would occasionally cause important words to be highlighted, but words seemed to be highlighted because they looked cool, were longer than three letters, or just because.

And I thought... "That looks fun!"

So, I present the "Talk Like Zelda Game Dialog" thread where you, too, can talk like Zelda Game Dialog! Just don't forget to get the Spitoon Of Righteousness from the Pit of Malignant Depression and take it to the Fool On The Hill... or something like that.
 
Hello, AutoDMC. I don't really know what to say here because I am kind of confused. You are probably looking for something for me to say, but I am not sure what that could be. We will talk later.
 
Balzac, it's possible you're at a loss for words because I don't have some kind of rediculous magical item that unlocks your brain and causes you to tell me something interesting. Perhaps if you enlightened me on what item you require, I may be able to help.

Jdee, is it possible that you are unscathed by the Legend Of Zelda Dialog Evilness? Congrats!
 
I believe you can find what you are looking for in the Tomb Of Organic Vegetables. Not many peolpe have come out of there alive, there are things in there that no one can describe. You can take the mountain passage to the east or you can take my sailboat down by the dock. I would talk to some eGO members before you leave for information.
 
I hate this thread.
this will be my first and last post in it.
I love all things Zelda, and this thread is poking fun at it.
you, AutoDMC, are no longer my friend :(
 
Relik, you should highlight your text so people can help you get into a better mood about this thread!
 
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