chuck norris

[bandgeek]

tell me ur fav or best chuck norris joke

for ex. when huck norris does push ups hes not pulling himself up hes pushing the earth down

tell me!

 

[+_Johnny_+]

Prepare to get pwned.

THE TOP TEN CHUCK NORRIS FACTS:

01
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
02
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
03
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
04
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
05
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
06
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
07
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
08
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
09
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
10
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris

Personal favorites:

Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is "The Two"

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

 

[AngelCakes]

The true chuck norris fact
<----------------------- look at my avatar

 

[spoolinEvolution]

^ So cancer is cured?

 

[Rellik]

The other day I taught my son to play Rock-Paper-Scissors... and my wife saw us playing. so after she on the couch i told her "LETS PLAY!" and we did.
so we rolled, and we both put up fists... tie...
then we rolled again and i put up a fist, and she put up scissors... i win.
then we rolled again and i put up a fist, and she put up paper..... and i screamed "I WIN!"
and she was like "No; Paper beats rock!"
and i was like "NO! I didn't Roll a Rock. That's Chuck Norris' Fist; It beats all!"

 

[2 F 4 B P]

I don't know it this is appropriate.

Chuck Norris doesn't teabag, he potato sacks.

 

[king killer]

the true chuck norris fact
<----------------------- look at my avatar :d

he stole that fromme!!

 

[ManBearPig]

Bruce Lee Killed Chuck Norris... Apparently hes been dead since the 70's and what we now see is Chuck Norris's ghost

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqzQ2qrtBeg[/ame]

 

[foxhound-KD-]

The Great wall of china was built to keep Chuck Norris out!

 

[Darth]

There was a thread for this....

 

[featherfoot07]

there's not a chin behind chuck norris's beard, just another fist!

thats a Texas favorite!

 

[foxhound-KD-]

chuck norris's house doesnt have doors, just walls he walks thru
chuck norris was the first person to tame a dinosaur

 

[Dayman]

Bruce Lee Killed Chuck Norris... Apparently hes been dead since the 70's and what we now see is Chuck Norris's ghost

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqzQ2qrtBeg

That was a movie clip where chuck norris agreed that he would prove he could die and still rise again.

One day when chuck norris was walking down the street a blind man stepped on his foot, after instantly touching chuck norris the blind man was instantly cured, the first, last, and only thing he ever saw was a roundhouse kick by chuck norris

 

[Born to Pwn]

Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection... there were no survivors.

 

[gotrice]

chuck norris cries everytime someone compares him to jack bauer

not sad tears


but laughing tears

 

[foxhound-KD-]

except its jack Bauer that grew up wanting to be like chuck norris so he bought the total gym

 

[chaosassualt]

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land

 

[Ducttape]

chuck norris lost his virginity before his father did.

 

[gotrice]

lol i loved that one

 

[Dayman]

Chuck norris' foot broke the speed of light and went back in time and kicked amelia earhart out of the sky.