25 ways to be healthier

Carmine said:
I am a rubber robot, you are glue. Whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.
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Subject: Carmine
Diagnosis: delusional (Grandiose)/delusions of grandeur
A condition in which the patient has lost touch with reality and experiences hallucinations and misperceptions
Symptoms:
•An irritable, angry, or low mood
•Hallucinations (seeing, hearing, or feeling things that are not really there) that are related to the delusion (For example, a person who believes he or she has an odor problem may smell a bad odor.)

Grandiose — A person with this type of delusional disorder has an over-inflated sense of worth, power, knowledge, or identity. The person might believe he or she has a great talent or has made an important discovery

Treatment: Smile at him sweetly, nod encouragingly and do not pay heed to any of his comments, its all fabrication. Subject is incapable of understanding anyone but himself. Strong medication also suggested.Psychosocial treatments/Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)

NOTES: subject Carmine exhibits Delusional Grandiose Disorder!
Additional Notes: be careful this one bites
 
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Mental Buga said:
Subject: Carmine
Diagnosis: delusional (Grandiose)/delusions of grandeur
A condition in which the patient has lost touch with reality and experiences hallucinations and misperceptions
Symptoms:
?An irritable, angry, or low mood
?Hallucinations (seeing, hearing, or feeling things that are not really there) that are related to the delusion (For example, a person who believes he or she has an odor problem may smell a bad odor.)

Grandiose ? A person with this type of delusional disorder has an over-inflated sense of worth, power, knowledge, or identity. The person might believe he or she has a great talent or has made an important discovery

Treatment: Smile at him sweetly, nod encouragingly and do not pay heed to any of his comments, its all fabrication. Subject is incapable of understanding anyone but himself. Strong medication also suggested.Psychosocial treatments/Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT)

NOTES: subject Carmine exhibits Delusional Grandiose Disorder!
Additional Notes: be careful this one bites
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Are you implying I am a balloon? I am not a balloon!

Now since what I say is fabrication that would obviously mean I am a balloon, which makes no sense at all buga!
 
I firmly disagree with #7.

SUNLIGHT IS EVIL!!!!!

It doesn't go away everyday because of the rotation of the planet, thats all lies. It really running away because it steals people children & sprinkles sugar in houses so they get ants & I even heard that if you trace all the "Prince of Nigeria" emails they all lead right back to the sun. :eek:
 
HAHAHH! soo many funny things in this post, i cant even explain them all (well i could, but im too lazy. xD)
 
Stinky Wizzleteats said:
I firmly disagree with #7.

SUNLIGHT IS EVIL!!!!!

It doesn't go away everyday because of the rotation of the planet, thats all lies. It really running away because it steals people children & sprinkles sugar in houses so they get ants & I even heard that if you trace all the "Prince of Nigeria" emails they all lead right back to the sun. :eek:
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Apparently Buga disagrees with my assesment because the send me a steam msg that shes going to "get me later"

Think about this Buga: Every patient a nurse will see has been exposed to the sun at some point. Billions of different people, countless other circumstances and factors dealing with the ingury/illness. Whats the only single factor that every patent youll deal with has experienced? Thats right the sun!!!!!! Without the sun there is a very distinct possibility that man wouldnt exist in its current form. Therefore being that the sun is responsible for the current form of man and other life on earth it is also directly responsible for any and all afflictions that affect mankind.


Please note: This arguement was based on evolution. If you believe in creationism (insert diety here) would have created man differently so that mankind would be suited for a world without sun. I still win :)
 
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true post is true

have to agree with no 1 mostly - gotta brush those teeth.

i bet most people don't do it twice.

'specially the ones who smell like the south end of a north bound skunk ~
 
Stinky Wizzleteats said:
I firmly disagree with #7.

SUNLIGHT IS EVIL!!!!!

It doesn't go away everyday because of the rotation of the planet, thats all lies. It really running away because it steals people children & sprinkles sugar in houses so they get ants & I even heard that if you trace all the "Prince of Nigeria" emails they all lead right back to the sun. :eek:
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Subject: Stinky Wizzleteats
Diagnosis: borderline schoizoaffective disorder.. (progressive)

Signs and symptoms may include:
Strange or unusual thoughts or perceptions
Paranoid thoughts and ideas
Delusions ? having false, fixed beliefs
Hallucinations, such as hearing voices
Unclear or confused thoughts (disorganized thinking)
Irrelevant or incoherent speech
Catatonic behavior ? lack of response, sometimes with an extreme agitation that's not influenced by the environment
Deficits in attention and memory
Lack of concern about hygiene and physical appearance

Treatment:Watch this guy.. one minute hes running around Mesa healing you and the next hes standing there talking about giant ants and messages from god.. sometimes seen to babble quite incoherently about the effects of the sun and sugar..
Good news.. with some Antipsychotics we can have him as calm as a bug in a rug. please do keep an eye out for psychotic symptoms , should you see any let me know and I will prepare the syringe ! Also do not be fooled, he is prone to bouts of lucidity.. which can fool you into believing hes all better !
 
At least delusions of grandeur is better than lack of concern about physical appearance, if I think I am a emperor I should look the part!
 
Mental Buga said:
Subject: Stinky Wizzleteats
Diagnosis: borderline schoizoaffective disorder.. (progressive)

Signs and symptoms may include:
Strange or unusual thoughts or perceptions
Paranoid thoughts and ideas
Delusions — having false, fixed beliefs
Hallucinations, such as hearing voices
Unclear or confused thoughts (disorganized thinking)
Irrelevant or incoherent speech
Catatonic behavior — lack of response, sometimes with an extreme agitation that's not influenced by the environment
Deficits in attention and memory
Lack of concern about hygiene and physical appearance

Treatment:Watch this guy.. one minute hes running around Mesa healing you and the next hes standing there talking about giant ants and messages from god.. sometimes seen to babble quite incoherently about the effects of the sun and sugar..
Good news.. with some Antipsychotics we can have him as calm as a bug in a rug. please do keep an eye out for psychotic symptoms , should you see any let me know and I will prepare the syringe ! Also do not be fooled, he is prone to bouts of lucidity.. which can fool you into believing hes all better !
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How does a rug make a bug calm. o.o
 
Mental Buga said:
Patient : Noise964
Diagnosis: Delirium
Causes: Dehydration caused by sitting at the computer for extended periods being so involved in watching his screen he becomes incapable to get up.
or:
Severe infection.. This boy is ill !
or
Serious medication abuse going on here

as with all signs and symptoms recommend giving this person a wide berth or point him in the direction of health officials who can find a nice padded room for him somewhere he cant hurt himself in until his episode passes

Need to re-evaluate patient in 2 days. Suggest the use of restraints, subject will become aggressive when removed from his computer. Extreme caution is advised.
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Well I hope I never end up in Canadian hospitals if this is the kind of thing Canadian Nurses regularly diagnose patients with.

Run! Run for your life!
 
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