I need your opinions

AnotherAsian

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Aug 9, 2009
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As a high school student interested in the performing arts and excelling in English/Writing, I'm planning my future on majoring in Acting and Creative Writing. I already came up with approx. 50 story ideas and I thought some were good but others were kind of cruddy (like Twilight). So, if you guys dont mind, I want to post up some of my stories I'm having trouble with. And I want your opinions and criticisms about it. And if you're like me, you can add some nice ideas to add to it too.
 
sure, im an author myself, a high school one at that, so if you want ill look over your stuff. I have a few books published and stuff so its all good xP
 
really? Thats excellent! However, some ideas are more based on movies rather than actual novelization. So bare with me.
Anyways, here the first story and before I begin, the story is outlined based on different categories.

Title: Story Title
Genre: Type of story
Plot: The story itself summarized in 1 to 3 paragraphs
Characters: Small backgrounds of certain characters
Premise: Like the story's concept. It's what the story is all about/created for


Ok then:
Title: Desolation: Apocalypse
Genre: Action, Science Fiction, Drama, Crime
Plot:The story is based around three sagas and a prequel. It's based around three biblical disasters that marked the end of the world. However, in this universe, the Apocalypse is merely a successful terrorist attack in the Eastern US area (Virginia took the most damage). What became of the attack was something unexpected. The bombs fired at us were atomic, containing nuclear atoms, and rather than killing all of the civilians, only some made it out, with "special" distinctive powers. Our cells, DNA, muscles, etc. bonded with the nuclear cells, granting survivors with hosts of supernatural abilities. The actual story is set in the "modern" days, revolved around Abraham, a fellow Survivor who claims himself lucky for not having any knowledge of his own powers, seeing Survivors as inhuman and selfish. Unforutnately, these powered-beings are exactly what Abraham thought they were. Some use their powers to steal, pillage, rape, or kill, whilst others pretend to be normal and go on with their lives. Eventually, the government gets involved, seeing that the crime rates are coming mostly from supposed Survivors. The story gets more complex and delves deeper into the superbeing psyche, and the duality of mankind.
Characters:Abraham is the main character and the center of the story. He refuses to discover his own powers and is basically the generic guy. However, he isnt exactly the boring guy turned hero. He's actually considered a bit on the bad side
Dora is the female lead and is basically a "living" atomic bomb. She can basically blow herself up, either harming a few or destroying the world. She has no control and hates herself for it. At one point, she gets kidnapped by well-suited men, thus creating the "problem" of the story.
John is the "bad" guy of the story. Not exactly the anatoganist. He happens to be a great friend of Abraham and helps him out later on. He has superhuman strength, but tends to be self-absorbed.
Jennifer is a young woman who has the power to suck the life away from others, including plants and animals. She needs life in order to stay alive. Thankfully, she learns how to suck in the energy of sun light, but only rarely. She also helps Abraham out.
Richard is a common husband and business man. His power, like Abraham, is unknown, but whoever witnesses it ends up dead. A murderer and depressed man, he searches for the reason over his murdered wife.
There are more characters with other powers, but they cant really fit into this.
Premise: Its not exactly original considering I came up with the idea while I was reading Watchmen. The whole premise is the exsistence of villains. Rather than exploiting it, it questions and conceals it. There are no antagonists in this story. Its basically a combination of government conspiracies with comic book fantasy.
 
Kind of an interesting concept, but as you said not exactally original.
 
Second one coming soon...

Btw, the titles for the Apocalyse series are:
Vanguard: Revolution - prequel
Desolation: Apocalypse: Book 1
Deconstruction: Judgment Day: Book 2
Absolution: Armageddon - Finale

and also for NinjaMittens, the next one might be a playwrite

EDIT: This is actually the story I have HUGE doubts on
Title: Ruff Riders
Genre: Action, Western, Drama
Plot: This story is much like a spaghetti western with pizzazz. When a wild Reverand spontaneously combusts and begins to cause a mass genocide and massacre, President Roosevelt begins to worry for the future of American citizens. Not only killing those who he deems sinful and uncleansed, he begins corrupting minds, forming a large army of blind followers. In response, Roosevelt decides to recreate his old team: The Roguh Riders. However, in order to show its significant change, the name was changed to RUFF Riders. He gains the help and leadership of the son of his old friend and war partner, Eddie Hawkeye. Unfortunately, Congress sees the problem occuring right now as minor and merely focuses on the Black patch War. Now on a mission to recruit an army small enough to match the Reverend's army, Hawkeye will travel far lands, meet colorful characters, and wicked gunfights.
Characters: Hawekye is the captain of the Ruff Riders. Smart, fast, accurate, and funny. He's not like other war generals considering his sense of humor and respect to women.
There are 6 others who join Hawkeye, but I cannot write them all down due to length.
Premise: This supposed to create a nice feeling of history and realism with fantasy. Its much like a Quentin Taratino or Robert Rodiguez film since its what I've been thinking of when writing this down. It also introduces sympathy in even the most evillest of villains, and cruelty amongst the heroes. Alas, there are no actual MAIN characters. 7 basically acts as 1.
 
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hrmmm you might not want to mix so many genres together, just fyi...my first work I did that and I had to think of every genre and it all turned out jumbled because I was trying to cater to every genre. The most genres I suggest should be 2
 
hrmmm you might not want to mix so many genres together, just fyi...my first work I did that and I had to think of every genre and it all turned out jumbled because I was trying to cater to every genre. The most genres I suggest should be 2

It actually can work out. i finished the first book and it almost worked. Thogu there have been several sidetracks, espeically with dialouge and timed events, but overall, I think people can follow a non-linear storyline
 
The Roosevelt story is a bit cornball. It would be really hard to pull it together, and would probably take tremendous research to make the settings and characters three-dimensional.
 
yea see the sidetracks are what you dont want....cause in some cases it turns off the reader/turns the reader away from the point your trying to make...but I write fiction/nonficiton so thats just me
 
well I kinda like the sidetracking and want to put it in all of my stories. I like non-linear stuff which is why I favor a lot of Alan Moore stuff. I hate linear things cause its too simple and not at all complex. it doesnt leave a deeper message.

Also, to General Sanders: I was intending on introducing the characters and after there introduction, a background chapter can be included. So it goes back and forth until all are introduced. Its going to be EXTREMELY long but thats the whole point. And also roosevelt isnt the main character or even be shown. Only the beginning and end. The story centers around Hawkeye and his comrades
 
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oh whoa i dont mean no sidetracking whatsoever, sorry if i gave that impression. And yes linear books only arent really that interesting I agree, but what i meant was you dont want too much sidetracking ;] but once your done writing ill give it a review if you want
 
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