- Joined
- Jan 2, 2007
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- 1,067
It's review time again. As much as I love the Grand Theft Auto games, I'll admit, I wasn't particularly interested in this game. After all, Grand Theft Auto games just haven't computed with Nintendo mobile platforms in the past. Grand Theft Auto Advance was thoroughly mediocre, and the GameBoy ports of the first two GTA games, while a technical marvel considering that every city and locale was stuffed onto a small GameBoy GamePak, their gameplay was absolutely terrible. Plus, while I did like them OK back in the day, the first two GTA games don't hold up too well after the jump to 3D. So the concept of a new, 2D GTA on the DS didn't appeal. Yet after hearing some good reviews, and because it was on sale for 20 bucks and there was some money burning a hole in my pocket and my DS desperately needed some new software (I've stuck with MarioKart/Mario 64/New Super Mario Bros. since the portables release... mostly I've used it for GBA games actually....) and I figured "Eh, why not give it a chance?"
Story
In GTA:CW you play as Huang, who has come to Liberty City from China to.. uhm, deliver a sword or something. To be honest, I didn't catch all of the intro text because my ears were being assaulted by the god awful wailing coming from the DS that sounded like a whole family of cats being strangled while someone plucks their whiskers. I think it was supposed to be that stereotypical Chinese music, but whatever the hell it was it made my ears bleed. Anyways, after you get off the plane you are beaten up, the sword gets stolen, and you are left for dead in a car that's been pushed into the sea. Despite the fact that you weren't tied down and two doors were left open, you have to bang on the glass to get out (This happens later too, if you are in a car and end up in the water you have to bash your way out, even if a door is open or its unlocked...) and then you go see your cousin who isn't too happy about the missing sword. Everything from here seemed like Gibberish to me, the writing isn't nearly as sharp as we've come to expect, save for the comedy writing which is pure gold as usual. The dialogue retains all the "F" words you'd expect from GTA, yet it seemed the writers weren't really paying attention to write a proper paragraph as everything seems disjointed and nonsensical. This can be very annoying, as sometimes you'll leave a briefing text with no idea what in the name of god you are supposed to do. The story isn't all that memorable, there are a few funny characters, but the others just blend in with the crowd. The only writing in Chinatown Wars that will ever really get your attention is objective text and some good jokes.
4.0/10
Presentation (Graphics and Audio)
The game takes on a cel-shaded look, and while I honestly feel that the characters portraits during cut-scenes look like cancerous mutant comic book characters trying too hard to be 3-Dimensional, for the most part, this look works. Liberty City is surprisingly good looking on the DS, while you'll obviously never get to see any panoramic shots of the city and some buildings won't show up at all, you can easily recognize most of the locales in the city straight from GTA IV. While you will still need to take some time to figure out where you are, if you are intimate with the liberty city of GTA IV you'll eventually find your way around. Alderny is missing, strangely enough, but you won't really notice. The characters are small and kinda funky looking, though I don't mind their sprites, in fact the sprites are kinda funny in a weird way. They remind me of the sprites from the original "Command & Conquer" game and their deaths are just as over-done and funny as the ones in the original C&C game. The chainsaw is hilariously overdone, if my interpretation of those tiny sprites is correct, the average chainsaw death consists of Huang holding the chainsaw out with one arm and having it immediately come out the other side of the civilian, as he vibrates and giggles for a minute as though being tickled before exploding into 3 bloody chunks. Despite this, the game does look relatively good. The sounds of the city and weapons are great, although the radio is relatively annoying after its 3 minutes of music finishes and starts over, plus the music doesn't sound anything like the station advertises it to be, with maybe the exception of one of the Jazz songs.
It looks good, and while the music is forgettable and annoying, most of the sound effects are great.
8.5/10
Design
As mentioned before, all of Liberty City from GTA IV, save for Alderney, shows up in Chinatown Wars. While you can't go indoors save for briefings, all the outdoor locales are there and you'll become familiar with the city. All of the city is unlocked at the gate though, so there are no roadblocks and you don't have to unlock the areas to go to them. While I suppose some people may not like this, I didn't mind, plus I'm used to Saints Row 2 now and all of its locales were unlocked from the start. The game obviously plays like a sandbox, and you can still go on rampages, and of course you'll still jack cars. Most of what made the 3D games fun, actually makes it on to this little cart. The missions are fun, and there are a few decent touch screen mini-games, although most of them are relatively easy. Like in GTA IV there are side missions that can be unlocked by finding a "Unique character" on your radar and doing something for them. My biggest beef with the games design mostly lies in the controls, camera, and road width. Although the controls work most of the time, they have the same slugginess as GTA IV and cars sometimes go wacko. The camera is also decent for the most part, unlike in the old 2D games the camera always stays a few steps ahead so you never out-drive it, which was one of the chief problems with the 2D titles, but sometimes the camera will go wacko and look at something else, plus it seems that there is ALWAYS a cop out of focus. Seriously, I've been busted in this more times than any GTA game, because you will be going maybe 5, 10 miles an hour and you'll accidently bump into a cop off the screen, and jacking is nearly impossible to do without an entire herd of patrolling cops noticing. Oddly enough, they don't care if you chainsaw all the men and women in the entire city as long as you don't chainsaw them. Guns attract more attention, but you can still murder 10 people in front of a pair of officers and they won't care. Also, its hard to navigate a majority of the roads because they are so bloody thin. I know this isn't a constraint of the DS, cause there are Areas with wider roads, but most roads only have enough width for one lane, and trying to go around cars is impossible since the sidewalks are even thinner. Why? It's annoying. :facewall: Besides that, the game design is relatively good.
8.0/10
Gameplay
The game plays out much like you'd expect a GTA game to play out. You are dumped in a big city, given someones name, go to Point A, get objective 1, go to Point B, execute Objective 1, Get reward, go back to Point A for a new Objective 1. The formula isn't changed too much, which isn't a bad thing since its a relatively satisfying formula. Ground combat is satisfying, although sometimes frustrating because it appears that Huang can only take at least 3 bullets from a pistol before going six feet under, 5 bullets if he's wearing armor. Thankfully it helps that most of the enemies are inaccurate with anything but pistols (Seriously, why is everyone so damned good at pistols in this game? I swear, if they had children in these games I bet even the kids could whoop your ass with a pistol. I love pistols, but everyone is a marksman with them.) and will usually shoot at anything but you as long as they are given an assault rifle (Although don't get too close if they have a shotgun, that's instant death) or sub-machine gun of some kind. One of my few gripes with GTA IV was its lack of exotic weaponry, this game brings most of the more exotic weapons back, including the flamethrower, and of course the aforementioned chainsaw. I do love my chainsaw. You can even dual wield pistols and SMGs again like in San Andreas, but without having to train Huang how to do so. Dual Wielding police revolvers is awesome. There are a couple touch screen thingies, such as giving people tattoos and hotwiring cars, and several mission specific ones. It won't play too much into the game though, save for the PDA and Email interface. There's also a touch screen mini-game where you fill bottles with gas to make Molotovs, it can get rather repetitive and isn't all that fun, but considering that 200 dollars worth of gas can get you like, 20 Molotovs as long as you don't spill all the gas, it is worth it since a single Molotov from ammunation costs about 500 bucks. Most of the game will be completed with the main screen and standard controls though. The game is surprisingly addictive, but its also strangely frustrating, mostly because you will get arrested a lot, and weapons and drugs cost a lot of money. Speaking of the drug trade, I nearly destroyed my DS when I bought 98,000$ worth of drugs, leaving me with 15$, and because I accidentally bumped a single cop with my car I got the entire police force on my ass and was arrested, naturally all my drugs were taken before I could sell them and get money. I was in a public place around kids, and I had to REALLY try hard not to erupt in a flurry of swears in how frustrating getting arrested can be in this game. It can sometimes drain the fun, and running away from the cops isn't so easy unless you get to a safehouse before your car is too damaged to move.
8.0/10
Chinatown Wars surprised me. Whereas I expected another 2D Gta game on par with the other 2D GTA games, it actually ended up being BETTER and more on level with its much better 3D counterparts. Its a fun little game, with a lengthy campaign. While it can be frustrating sometimes, and the story is pretty lame, the amount of fun that can be had with the game more than makes up for it. It isn't as good as GTA IV or even GTA III (Although its better than Vice City. Feel free to flame me, but I hated Vice City. I just felt the map and mission design was awful. :\) but its still a very fun sandbox game, and its impressive seeing as its the first portable sandbox crime game to actually be worth a damn.
Final Score
8.3/10
Story
In GTA:CW you play as Huang, who has come to Liberty City from China to.. uhm, deliver a sword or something. To be honest, I didn't catch all of the intro text because my ears were being assaulted by the god awful wailing coming from the DS that sounded like a whole family of cats being strangled while someone plucks their whiskers. I think it was supposed to be that stereotypical Chinese music, but whatever the hell it was it made my ears bleed. Anyways, after you get off the plane you are beaten up, the sword gets stolen, and you are left for dead in a car that's been pushed into the sea. Despite the fact that you weren't tied down and two doors were left open, you have to bang on the glass to get out (This happens later too, if you are in a car and end up in the water you have to bash your way out, even if a door is open or its unlocked...) and then you go see your cousin who isn't too happy about the missing sword. Everything from here seemed like Gibberish to me, the writing isn't nearly as sharp as we've come to expect, save for the comedy writing which is pure gold as usual. The dialogue retains all the "F" words you'd expect from GTA, yet it seemed the writers weren't really paying attention to write a proper paragraph as everything seems disjointed and nonsensical. This can be very annoying, as sometimes you'll leave a briefing text with no idea what in the name of god you are supposed to do. The story isn't all that memorable, there are a few funny characters, but the others just blend in with the crowd. The only writing in Chinatown Wars that will ever really get your attention is objective text and some good jokes.
4.0/10
Presentation (Graphics and Audio)
The game takes on a cel-shaded look, and while I honestly feel that the characters portraits during cut-scenes look like cancerous mutant comic book characters trying too hard to be 3-Dimensional, for the most part, this look works. Liberty City is surprisingly good looking on the DS, while you'll obviously never get to see any panoramic shots of the city and some buildings won't show up at all, you can easily recognize most of the locales in the city straight from GTA IV. While you will still need to take some time to figure out where you are, if you are intimate with the liberty city of GTA IV you'll eventually find your way around. Alderny is missing, strangely enough, but you won't really notice. The characters are small and kinda funky looking, though I don't mind their sprites, in fact the sprites are kinda funny in a weird way. They remind me of the sprites from the original "Command & Conquer" game and their deaths are just as over-done and funny as the ones in the original C&C game. The chainsaw is hilariously overdone, if my interpretation of those tiny sprites is correct, the average chainsaw death consists of Huang holding the chainsaw out with one arm and having it immediately come out the other side of the civilian, as he vibrates and giggles for a minute as though being tickled before exploding into 3 bloody chunks. Despite this, the game does look relatively good. The sounds of the city and weapons are great, although the radio is relatively annoying after its 3 minutes of music finishes and starts over, plus the music doesn't sound anything like the station advertises it to be, with maybe the exception of one of the Jazz songs.
It looks good, and while the music is forgettable and annoying, most of the sound effects are great.
8.5/10
Design
As mentioned before, all of Liberty City from GTA IV, save for Alderney, shows up in Chinatown Wars. While you can't go indoors save for briefings, all the outdoor locales are there and you'll become familiar with the city. All of the city is unlocked at the gate though, so there are no roadblocks and you don't have to unlock the areas to go to them. While I suppose some people may not like this, I didn't mind, plus I'm used to Saints Row 2 now and all of its locales were unlocked from the start. The game obviously plays like a sandbox, and you can still go on rampages, and of course you'll still jack cars. Most of what made the 3D games fun, actually makes it on to this little cart. The missions are fun, and there are a few decent touch screen mini-games, although most of them are relatively easy. Like in GTA IV there are side missions that can be unlocked by finding a "Unique character" on your radar and doing something for them. My biggest beef with the games design mostly lies in the controls, camera, and road width. Although the controls work most of the time, they have the same slugginess as GTA IV and cars sometimes go wacko. The camera is also decent for the most part, unlike in the old 2D games the camera always stays a few steps ahead so you never out-drive it, which was one of the chief problems with the 2D titles, but sometimes the camera will go wacko and look at something else, plus it seems that there is ALWAYS a cop out of focus. Seriously, I've been busted in this more times than any GTA game, because you will be going maybe 5, 10 miles an hour and you'll accidently bump into a cop off the screen, and jacking is nearly impossible to do without an entire herd of patrolling cops noticing. Oddly enough, they don't care if you chainsaw all the men and women in the entire city as long as you don't chainsaw them. Guns attract more attention, but you can still murder 10 people in front of a pair of officers and they won't care. Also, its hard to navigate a majority of the roads because they are so bloody thin. I know this isn't a constraint of the DS, cause there are Areas with wider roads, but most roads only have enough width for one lane, and trying to go around cars is impossible since the sidewalks are even thinner. Why? It's annoying. :facewall: Besides that, the game design is relatively good.
8.0/10
Gameplay
The game plays out much like you'd expect a GTA game to play out. You are dumped in a big city, given someones name, go to Point A, get objective 1, go to Point B, execute Objective 1, Get reward, go back to Point A for a new Objective 1. The formula isn't changed too much, which isn't a bad thing since its a relatively satisfying formula. Ground combat is satisfying, although sometimes frustrating because it appears that Huang can only take at least 3 bullets from a pistol before going six feet under, 5 bullets if he's wearing armor. Thankfully it helps that most of the enemies are inaccurate with anything but pistols (Seriously, why is everyone so damned good at pistols in this game? I swear, if they had children in these games I bet even the kids could whoop your ass with a pistol. I love pistols, but everyone is a marksman with them.) and will usually shoot at anything but you as long as they are given an assault rifle (Although don't get too close if they have a shotgun, that's instant death) or sub-machine gun of some kind. One of my few gripes with GTA IV was its lack of exotic weaponry, this game brings most of the more exotic weapons back, including the flamethrower, and of course the aforementioned chainsaw. I do love my chainsaw. You can even dual wield pistols and SMGs again like in San Andreas, but without having to train Huang how to do so. Dual Wielding police revolvers is awesome. There are a couple touch screen thingies, such as giving people tattoos and hotwiring cars, and several mission specific ones. It won't play too much into the game though, save for the PDA and Email interface. There's also a touch screen mini-game where you fill bottles with gas to make Molotovs, it can get rather repetitive and isn't all that fun, but considering that 200 dollars worth of gas can get you like, 20 Molotovs as long as you don't spill all the gas, it is worth it since a single Molotov from ammunation costs about 500 bucks. Most of the game will be completed with the main screen and standard controls though. The game is surprisingly addictive, but its also strangely frustrating, mostly because you will get arrested a lot, and weapons and drugs cost a lot of money. Speaking of the drug trade, I nearly destroyed my DS when I bought 98,000$ worth of drugs, leaving me with 15$, and because I accidentally bumped a single cop with my car I got the entire police force on my ass and was arrested, naturally all my drugs were taken before I could sell them and get money. I was in a public place around kids, and I had to REALLY try hard not to erupt in a flurry of swears in how frustrating getting arrested can be in this game. It can sometimes drain the fun, and running away from the cops isn't so easy unless you get to a safehouse before your car is too damaged to move.
8.0/10
Chinatown Wars surprised me. Whereas I expected another 2D Gta game on par with the other 2D GTA games, it actually ended up being BETTER and more on level with its much better 3D counterparts. Its a fun little game, with a lengthy campaign. While it can be frustrating sometimes, and the story is pretty lame, the amount of fun that can be had with the game more than makes up for it. It isn't as good as GTA IV or even GTA III (Although its better than Vice City. Feel free to flame me, but I hated Vice City. I just felt the map and mission design was awful. :\) but its still a very fun sandbox game, and its impressive seeing as its the first portable sandbox crime game to actually be worth a damn.
Final Score
8.3/10
