The best joke you know.

Sexy Beast

Sexy Beast

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Apr 23, 2008
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So what is it?



Here is mine:

A bear walks into a bar and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings Montana."
The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.
The bartender tells him "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings Montana".
The bear, very angry now, says "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."
The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bellicose belligerent bears in bars in Billings Montana."

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bellicose belligerent bears in bars in Billings Montana that are on drugs."
The bear says "I'm not on drugs".

The bartender says
"You are now, that was a barbitchyouate".
 
LOL! omg. that was great. well i cant tell my jokes here, so ill tell a dumb one that i learned when i was a boy. (be prepared)

Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Aw dont cry, the joke isnt that bad.

Hahahah! i always thought that joke was a good one. :P
 
One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line case out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.
About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some to the stress of his workday, He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family. “You aren’t going to catch many fish that way,” said the businessman to the fisherman. “You should be working rather than lying on the beach!”
The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, “And what will my reward be?”
“Well you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!” was his answer.
“And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman, still smiling.
The businessman replied, “You will make money and you’ll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!”
“And then what will my reward be?” asked the fisherman again.
The businessman was getting angry. “Don’t you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all you employees catch fish for you!”
Once again the fisherman asked, “And then what will my reward be?”
The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, “Don’t you understand that you can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won’t have a care in the world!”
The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, “And what do you thing I’m doing right now?”
 
Whats red and shaped like a bucket?

A Red Bucket.



[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Frd53vbCHLg[/ame]
 
What do you call a piano that's been thrown down a mine?

A flat minor :)
 
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his cell phone and calls emergency services.

He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard.

Back on the phone, the hunter says, "OK, now what?"
 
A man comes home, and kicks open the door and yells "honey i just won the lottery pack your bags", the wife says ehat should i pack the mountain things or the sea things. the man says "I dont care, just get the hell out."
 
Two guys go out to this bar they've heard about up in a hotel. They arrive and start drinking but notice this one guy who just keeps on pounding back drink after drink. They watch as the guy gets out of his seat, and walks towards the window. The two guys concerned about him walk over to bring him back.

But the man jumps out the window...

They watch helplessly as the man falls. Then suddenly he slows down. The two guys stare in shock as the man somehow lands steadily on his feet, and walks back into the hotel. As the man walks back into the bar, the guys run over to him and ask him how it was done. He tells them that as he gets close to the ground, gas flowing up from the sewers slow him. The guys hearing this amazing feat run over to the window and jump.

And fall...

And fall...

and SPLAT

and as the man asks for another drink, the bartender says "You're a real jerk when you're drunk superman"
 
mackimus said:
two guys go out to this bar they've heard about up in a hotel. They arrive and start drinking but notice this one guy who just keeps on pounding back drink after drink. They watch as the guy gets out of his seat, and walks towards the window. The two guys concerned about him walk over to bring him back.

But the man jumps out the window...

They watch helplessly as the man falls. Then suddenly he slows down. The two guys stare in shock as the man somehow lands steadily on his feet, and walks back into the hotel. As the man walks back into the bar, the guys run over to him and ask him how it was done. He tells them that as he gets close to the ground, gas flowing up from the sewers slow him. The guys hearing this amazing feat run over to the window and jump.

And fall...

And fall...

And splat

and as the man asks for another drink, the bartender says "you're a real jerk when you're drunk superman"
Click to expand...

+100000000000000
 
so, an orc walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. And the bartender says "Hey, where'd you get that ?" and the parrot says: Durotar, they got em all over the place ...
 
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