Article ITT I attempt to review every movie I've seen.

_Ace said:
Hey beast, they also made a new Transporter, The Transporter: Reloaded. Are you considering watching it?
Click to expand...

Maybe, one late night when I'm bored, I'll track it down. I kind of have a love-hate relationship with Luc Besson. For every cool franchise he manages to create, he then proceeds to milk it till it's dead and dull.
 
Hardcore_%282015_film%29.jpg


Title: Hardcore Henry
Year: 2015
Country of Origin: Russia/US
Director: Ilya Naishuller

Plot: After being resurrected from the dead through what appears to be cyberization, a amnesic Henry is reintroduced to his apparent wife...who is immediately kidnapped by an albino capable of telekinesis backed up by an entire mercenary army.

Review: Hardcore Henry is noteworthy because the film is entirely shot in a first person perspective. Whether this is cool and innovative or gimmicky will depend entirely on you. Personally, I found it an interesting experiment that no one should try to replicate. It's an odd experience and one that I found myself getting used too the more I watched. At first the whole 'first person perspective' thing was confusing visual mess. There is a chase scene early on in the film that was well on it's way to inducing a headache before ti fortunately ended. As time goes on though, the visual cadence and rhythm of the film sets in and it becomes fun to watch. The perspective adds a certain intimacy to the action and makes to extreme violence of the film way more 'in your face' than what you would get if it was shot traditionally.

Tonally, it's on par with Crank: High Voltage, in that it's hyper violent in a gleeful sort of way. Though now that I've made the comparison, I do have to say that I had a lot more fun with Crank: High Voltage. The main issue with Hardcore Henry is that it lacks...well character or characters. There are three characters that we get to know over the course of the film and Sharlto Copley's Jimmy is the only one of those three that really stand out. Our protagonist, Henry, is voiceless and faceless...which might work for Gordon Freeman, but here it feels more like a void. That coupled with the film's threadbare plot, leaves it an experience that feels just short of something great and ultimately one that I can only describe as forgettable. Sure, for most of its hour and a half long run time it is an exciting experience...but one that doesn't carry much weight the next day.

[7/10]
 
Lucy_%282014_film%29_poster.jpg


Title: Lucy
Year: 2014
Country of Origin: France/US
Director: Luc Besson

Plot: Scarlett Johansson plays Lucy, an American student studying in Taiwan. After a run in with a Korean (?) mob boss she is forced to become a drug mule carrying a new an experimental smart drug. Things get really dumb after the container carrying this drug is ruptured and she gets dosed by the contents.

Review: There is a famous line from the film Tropic Thunder; "Never go full retard." I would explain the context of this quote, but honestly Tropic Thunder is eight or so years old at this point you've probably should have seen it by now. Anyway, I bring this up because there is a similar rule should be taken into account for action movies; never go all powerful. One of the main things that makes action cinema fun and compelling is there there are stakes; stop the bad guy, save someone, get revenge, or any number of things. Without stakes, then there is no tension and without tension you cannot make a compelling action film. If the main character fails, then bad things will happen. When a main character becomes all powerful though, it robs the plot of its stakes and tension. You need there to be a reasonable assumption of failure. Imagine Superman if he only dealt with street crime, that is not an interesting story. For every Goku, you need a Frieza. Otherwise, there is simply no reason to tell a story.

By the final third of Lucy, the film strips out all of the tension because she has become all powerful; think Dr. Manhattan or Tetsuo from Akira. We lose all reasonable expectation of failure because she can now stop anyone by simply thinking about it. So, in this aspect the film fails as an action movie. Lucy though is not you're basic action movie, it wants to explore metaphysics...specifically man's perception of the world. See, this film employs the debunked theory that we only use 10% of our brain as a plot device to explain the evolutionary steps of our main character. As the plot moves forward Lucy unlocks more and more of her brain and her perception of the world begins to change. It's about as dumb as you would expect it to be, though arguably there are some nifty ideas floating around this film.

Breaking away from plot mechanics, the film's production is on par with other Besson films. It looks nice and the overall production design is solid. Scarlett Johansson does a good job with what she is given, even though by the end of the film her character essentially becomes emotionless and wooden...think Arnold in the first Terminator. The rest of the cast doesn't have a whole lot to do since their character's mostly just stand around aghast at the powers that Lucy displays. Now that I think about it the only interesting character in the film is the aforementioned Korean mob boss who is out to kill Lucy at all cost. Honestly, I kind of wanted to see him succeed since he was the only one who had any real motivation. Seriously, Lucy's motivations and actions became obtuse and hazy by the second half of the film.

I actually want to contrast this with Limitless, a film with a similar plot minus the action and metaphysics. See, with Limitless we have Bradley Cooper as our narrator and we get to know what's going on and how the character is reacting to the changes that he is going through. On top of this, the changes are not permanent so he has to keep dosing on the smart drug in order to maintain it's effects. While, I thought Limitless was 'good but not great' it is miles ahead of Lucy because it understands what an audience needs in order to get into a story. If there are no stakes or the audiences loses protagonist's motivations, then you have a dumb and ultimately dull film.

[4/10]
 
Last night I watched two great movies I would reccomend. The first was A Knights Tale which became my new favorite movie. It's a good mix of comedy, action, and a great story. The music is pretty good as well.

The other one was Balls of Fury which is just a straight up comedy. Basically, an ex-ping pong Olympic player is recruited by the FBI to go after a leader of a Chinese gang, and said leader just happens to love ping pong and is hosting a tournament. I won't say too much, but the training scenes and George Lopez' performance is great and funny.
 
_Ace said:
Last night I watched two great movies I would reccomend. The first was A Knights Tale which became my new favorite movie. It's a good mix of comedy, action, and a great story. The music is pretty good as well.

The other one was Balls of Fury which is just a straight up comedy. Basically, an ex-ping pong Olympic player is recruited by the FBI to go after a leader of a Chinese gang, and said leader just happens to love ping pong and is hosting a tournament. I won't say too much, but the training scenes and George Lopez' performance is great and funny.
Click to expand...

A Knights Tale is a film that I've always heard was good, but never got around to watching. Balls of Fury though, I heard that it was hot trash from my friends who had seen it. I'll have to check them out though.
 
On a side note, when did Steam turn into a video rental service?

http://store.steampowered.com/app/426500

On the Steam Store within the rental package section, e.g. 30 days to complete watching this 48-hour rental.
Click to expand...

What? So I have 30 days to start watching the video, but once started I only have 48 hours to watch it...or is it that I have 48 hours of total watch time? Like can I watch Twilight 12 times during that period? These are important questions?

...

http://store.steampowered.com/bundle/125

Oh, oh wow...they're really going for this.
 
Last edited:
Sexy Beast said:
On a side note, when did Steam turn into a video rental service?

http://store.steampowered.com/app/426500



What? So I have 30 days to start watching the video, but once started I only have 48 hours to watch it...or is it that I have 48 hours of total watch time? Like can I watch Twilight 12 times during that period? These are important questions?

...

http://store.steampowered.com/bundle/125

Oh, oh wow...they're really going for this.
Click to expand...

They are really promoting it like they are their VR Headset oh wait...

I wonder tho if you buy a movie it saves it to your harddrive so you can watch it offline, or if it's just unlimited streaming?
 
ChocolateVillain said:
They are really promoting it like they are their VR Headset oh wait...

I wonder tho if you buy a movie it saves it to your harddrive so you can watch it offline, or if it's just unlimited streaming?
Click to expand...

No idea, Steam's FAQ does have a streaming v. download section so maybe there is an option.
 
San_Andreas_poster.jpg


Title: San Andreas
Year: 2015
Country of Origin: US
Director: Brad Peyton

Plot: Probably shouldn't have left my heart in San Francisco...it's not safe there.

Review: Please note: So a couple of months back Pillar reviewed this film as he has done with a few other films on this site. Now, it is important to remember that a review is an opinion, no one is right and no one is wrong. Just because my view on the film may differ from Pillar's does not mean that Pillar's review will be any less valid than mine.

It's hard not to admire a film that succeeds in what it sets out to accomplish. San Andreas is not a great movie, but it was never designed to be one. It is a disaster film and one that looks and operates like every other disaster film that you've seen. It does nothing new or fresh, but it does everything right. It is, in essence, a perfect distillation of the disaster film subgenre.

The plot itself is exactly what you'd expect from a film entitled San Andreas. The San Andreas fault line has for some reason decided to fire off all at once and in a massive way. Our main character is Ray Gaines, a fire rescue pilot, must race to save his estranged wife and his daughter from the destruction and chaos that is befalling California. You seen this plot archetype before with 2012 or Volcano, it's a well worn archetype and manages to bring an immediacy to the horror and destruction. San Andreas manages to nail this perfectly, especially near the end where everything just goes really bad for San Francisco. The cast is good enough that I found myself not actively hoping for their character's immediate death...which is a rarity for this sort of film. Of course the biggest coup of the film is proving that Dwayne Johnson has officially arrived as a leading man. Sure, he's stared in other film prior to this one, but San Andreas was a major film for Warner Bros and if it had failed then it would've definitely hurt Johnson's career.

All in all, San Andreas is what you would expect: A big, dumb, CGI filled popcorn film. You cannot fault it for being that either, it's what it is an does not hide that fact. If you're like me and have a soft spot for these types of films then San Andreas is perfectly fine way to kill two hours.

[7/10]
 
Last edited:
ChocolateVillain said:
Ah the news hit late last night with some more info. Seems they teamed up with Lionsgate for all this.

Also added a new franchise page and all
http://store.steampowered.com/sale/lionsgate

News post.
http://www.valvetime.net/threads/valve-partners-with-lionsgate-to-bring-films-to-steam.254856/
Click to expand...

This is really weird...steam is not set up for this kind of distribution. Like look at this pricing:

Wait_zpsf6por5co.png


waht_zpsasyzlq9t.png


The $7.99 figure is actually the bundle price for the first four Leprechaun films, apparently Leprechaun: In the Hood and Back 2 Tha Hood were a little too valuable to lump them into the bundle.

The whole thing reeks of half-assedness. If Valve has any hope of this turning into something, they need to spin it off into a separate platform. Also, in case anyone is wondering, here are the system requirements to stream Leprechaun:

Leprechaunsys_zpsm8mjjvdd.png
 
Last edited:
Hey Sexy, after reading your review after my offering of San Andreas, I must say, its rare that not only both of our reviews, but also both of our scores are pretty much dead even. Typically, either one of us likes it or doesnt like it. I found that interesting...
 
pillar said:
Hey Sexy, after reading your review after my offering of San Andreas, I must say, its rare that not only both of our reviews, but also both of our scores are pretty much dead even. Typically, either one of us likes it or doesnt like it. I found that interesting...
Click to expand...

Yeah, it is rare when we see eye to eye on a movie; but it also speaks to the crowd pleasing strength of the film. Also says that it really doesn't matter how dumb the subject matter of a film may be, if it's made well then it can still be a lot of fun.
 
fid14902_zpsi3rth3ue.jpg


Title: Tokyo Tribe
Year: 2014
Country of Origin: Japan
Director: Sion Sono

Plot: The streets of Tokyo are divided by multiple warring gangs, each holding on to their territory through violence and strength. The Wu-Ronz gang, the most powerful of the group, is about to launch an all out attack to take control of the whole city.

Review: Tokyo Tribe is a rap musical...yes, you read that correctly, a rap musical. 95% of the dialog is delivered through rapping. This is where the subjectivity of reviewing a movie comes into play; because on one hand, I enjoyed the film and on the other, a lot of people will hate this movie.

Stylistically the film is similar to Baz Luhrmann by way of Gaspar No?, if you don't know what that means...think of a mashup between Moulin Rouge! and Enter the Void. The sets are densely dressed and often drenched in lights. The camera is free floating in almost a hallucinatory manner as Sono navigates from one long take to the next. The end result is a visually dazzling film, but one that can take it's toll after a while. Between the long takes and rapping, the film can feel a little draining by the end.

From a plot stand point, Tokyo Tribe feels like Shakespeare filtered through Japanese 'B' movie sensibilities. This also works for structure as well, we have a rappng narrator who raps straight as us as you would normally get with Shakespearean play. To get an idea, here is a brief exert from the start of the film, it's Youtube so no subs:

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmdPIcrx6KI[/ame]

The film is not without it's faults though. Sono is about as prolific as a filmmaker can get, so he's all about finishing one project and jumping to the next as fast as possible. As such, for a lot of his film the endings feel rushed and not well thought out. Tokyo Tribe is no different, the ending is bad in a lot of ways, but it's still not enough to tank the whole film for me. In the end, Tokyo Tribe is a film that is like no other and it's a film that will annoy most people. I enjoyed it, but I can usually enjoy anything if it's odd or ridicules enough. So if you're feeling adventitious, Tokyo Tribe is currently available on Netflix.

[7/10]
 
Men_Behind_the_Sun_Poster.jpg


Title: Men Behind the Sun
Year: 1988
Country of Origin: China (Hong Kong)
Director: T. F. Mou

Plot: It's about Unit 731.

Review: Men Behind the Sun is, for me at least, an exploitation film about the atrocities carried out by the Japanese army at Unit 731...and that's pretty much the entirety of the film. We jump from one scene of extremely graphic violence to the next, strung together with boring dialog. One of the major 'highlights' of the film is that it features a real autopsy...as in not staged...as in they found a cadaver of a young boy who looks similar to an actor in the film and filmed the autopsy. Also animals may or may not have been horribly killed in the making of this film, the info is a bit sketchy on what actually happened. It's a film like Cannibal Holocaust or Sal?, or the 120 Days of Sodom, you see them just to say that you've seen them. At that point quality is irrelevant and in the end the film just a gruesome curiosity. So if you're into extreme cinema, then this should probably be on your list. For everyone else, stay far far away.

[3/10]
 
Last edited:
Interstella5555.jpg


Title: Interstella 5555: The 5tory of the 5ecret 5tar 5ystem
Year: 2003
Country of Origin: France/Japan
Director: Kazuhisa Takenouchi

Plot: Some evil dude from earth kidnaps and alien band for some nefarious reason.

Review:

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dNeNm03j9A[/ame]

I watched this. I was at a friends house and we stayed up to see this block of music videos...it was awesome. The world was a weird place before Youtube. What I didn't know at the time though, was that these Daft Punk videos were the first part of Interstella 5555, an anime re-imagining of their Discovery album.

Now, 15 years later, I have finally gotten around to watching the whole film....and it's ok. There really isn't all that much to the film, there isn't any dialog to speak of and additional sound effects have been kept to a minimum. In essence, it's just Discovery playing over a film involving a plan to somehow utilize gold records to take over the universe. It's cool the first time and I enjoyed it, but I'll probably never go back to it. So if you're a fan of the album or Daft Punk, give it a shot.

[7/10]

[ame]https://vimeo.com/94549328[/ame]
 
Any movies you can think of that you want to see that arent drama based by chance? I will have a rather chill weekend coming up...
 
pillar said:
Any movies you can think of that you want to see that arent drama based by chance? I will have a rather chill weekend coming up...
Click to expand...

Sorry for the late response, things have been crazy busy for the last few days. The only thing out that I wanted to see...that's not a drama is The Nice Guys.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Latest posts

Back
Top