Article ITT I attempt to review every movie I've seen.

Sorry I haven't been updating. I have a massive final on Tuesday and I've been spending most of this weekend trying to memorize Irish history from 1845 thru the 1990s. So here is the most recent film I've seen.


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Title: The Moustache
Year: 2005
Country of Origin: France
Director: Emmanuel Carr?re

Story: This is the actual plot: One day, on a whim, Marc decides to shave off the mustache he's worn all of his adult life. He waits patiently for his wife's reaction, but neither she nor his friends seem to notice. Stranger still, when he finally tells them, they all insist he never had a mustache. Is Marc going mad? Is he the victim of some elaborate conspiracy? Or has something in the world's order gone terribly awry?

Review: I watched this solely on the plot description above. It just sounded like something that I could just not pass up. Unfortunately, this film is no where near as fun as I wished it was. The film takes a brooding meandering route that is suppose to be more philosophical than entertaining. Worse still, this is one of those movies that doesn't make a lick of sense. I'm all for the film makers not holding my hand, but my god...what the hell is going on. My friend and I went online after watching this looking for some explanation, but the ones that we found were just as nonsensical as the movie.

[4.5/10]
 
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ChocolateVillain said:
Oh how about City of Lost Children. One of my favorites.
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Title: The City of Lost Children
Year: 1995
Country of Origin: France
Director: Jean-Pierre Jeunet

Review: Woah...Ron Perlman, you pedophile.

Story: This is a dark fantasy in the same vain as Gilliam's or Del Toro's. Thee story revolves around a mad scientist who kidnaps children and steals their dream and the strongest man in the world who has to save his younger brother whose been kidnapped...and god this is getting a little long winded. Anyway the story is dark and yet, heartwarming. The sets, props, characters and cinematography are all really dark and really imaginative. It's one of those one-of-a-kind sort of films...and one you probably need to see.

[8.5/10]
 
Cupcake said:
Let the Right One In

City of God (Cidade de Deus?)
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Title: Let the Right One In
Year: 2008
Country of Origin: Sweden
Director: Tomas Alfredson

Story: The anti-Twilight.

Review: A young anti-social young man befriends the young girl who just moved into his apartment complex. Now this set up could have turned out to be the cutest romantic comedy of the year...except the girl turns out to be a vampire, who has to be at least a couple hundred years in age. It's a heartbreaking tale and one that blows out almost every other offer the vampire genre has given us in the last 40 years.

[9/10]


* Oh, and expect an American remake to come out either this year or next year.
 
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Title: The Mask
Year: 1994
Country of Origin: US
Director: Chuck Russell

Story: A man finds a mask that turns him into a psychotic maniac...hilarity ensures.

Review: The Mask is based on an incredibly...and I mean incredibly violent comic of the same name. The film follow a well meaning banker who finds a mask that transforms him into a Loony Toons like creature and allows him to act out all of his internal fantasies. At least that's how I think it goes, anyway the Mask knocks over a mob bank and gets the mafia after him. The film is enjoyable and a reminder of how much fun Jim Carrey used to be before he got all serious. If you haven't seen it, then you might as well.

[7/10]
 
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Title: Son of the Mask
Year: 2005
Country of Origin: US
Director: Lawrence Guterman

Story: So they make a sequel to The Mask, about a decade latter. How bad could it be?

Review: It's bad. It's very bad. This is one of those kind of films that raises the question of: What in the ****ing hell were they thinking. Seriously, it couldn't have been that difficult to make a sequel to the mask.

How about this: Peter Riegert (The antagonist from the first film) gets raised from the dead through some form of Deus Ex Machina and searches for the mask for some reason...which is in a museum. There is a goofy, well meaning museum curate working on the mask and tries it on. Bam, you have a mediocre sequel that will rake in its budget and maybe a couple million more.

This is one of the worst films of the last decade and it's so bad that it's not even the in the so-bad-it's-good category. Avoid at all costs.

[0/10]
 
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Title: Monsters, Inc.
Year: 2001
Country of Origin: US
Director: Pete Docter

Story: Scaring children is now a business...or something like that.

Review: By the time this film rolled around, Pixar had already cemented themselves as the studio to beat in the animated film department. Though they were beaten this time around by Dreamwork's Shrek. For me, it's not as memorable as Pixar's other films, but none the less still a great entry in the studios repertoire.

[8/10]
 
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Death said:
Surprised it hasn't be requested, but the Godfather (the other parts too if you like)
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I'll admit, that I've never bothered with Part III.


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Title: The Godfather
Year: 1972
Country of Origin: US
Director: Francis Ford Coppola

Story: A tale of the raise of Michael Corleone from war hero to the head of a mafia crime family.

Review: Coppola, much like Wells, had a incredibly artistic back early in his career. After the 70s Coppola could not come out with a spectacular film. It's kind of sad when you think of it. Well this is a must see film...and that's pretty much all I can say about this one. When I first saw it I didn't really like it, I felt it was overrated. Then I managed to catch it again in theaters for its 35 year anniversary and really liked it. So...yeah...see this movie.

[9.5/10]
 
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Cupcake said:
In Bruges?
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Title: In Bruges
Year: 2008
Country of Origin: UK
Director: Martin McDonagh

Story: "Ken, I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin. If I grew up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges might impress me but I didn't, so it doesn't."

Review: Weird, funny and very un-PC...this film is an enjoyable romp involving a hitman and his companion, whose stuck in Bruges. The film deals with these of self-loathing and redemption, because of this there are some very drastic shifts in tone during the movie. At moments you'd have a very funny scene and the next moment you'd get a sad brooding scene. This constant shift in tones might be off putting for some people, but if you can deal with that you'll be treated to one of the freshest and funniest films to come out in the last few years.

[8.5/10]
 
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Title: Videodrome
Year: 1983
Country of Origin: Canada
Director: David Cronenberg

Story: Long live the new flesh.

Review: Cronenberg's main theme throughout most of his films deal with mankind and technology. Primarily how mankind has changed with the ever encroaching prevalence in our lives...and the change is usually for the worst. You can see this theme in this film, The Fly, Crash, eXistenZ and many of his other films.

This film follow a programing president of some seedy Toronto based TV station. One day he is contacted by one of his employees who operates one of the stations satellites, which he uses to pirate TV feeds from all around the world. He tells our protagonist that he has found a top secret feed that broadcasts S&M programing and snuff films. As our protagonist begins to watch what was taped from that feed he begins to experience a terrible dreams and weird physical changes. He is soon embroiled in a large conspiracy that will radically alter North America.

As you can tell I like Cronenberg films and this one is no different. The film is well shot and acted. It's also very violent, dark and brooding. Not for all tastes and there will be a good deal of people who will hate this one...but for the adventurous it's worth watching.

[8/10]
 
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Title: Thank You for Smoking
Year: 2005
Country of Origin: US
Director: Jason Reitman

Story:"Few people on this planet knows what it is to be truly despised. Can you blame them? I earn a living fronting an organization that kills 1200 people a day. Twelve hundred people. We're talking two jumbo jet plane loads of men, women and children. I mean, there's Attila, Genghis... and me, Nick Naylor. The face of cigarettes, the Colonel Sanders of nicotine."

Review: A very entertaining debut from Jason Reitman, whose films now include June and Up in the Air. The film's story is about the tribulations of a likable cigarette lobbyist/spin doctor. A few people have knocked this film for not being subversive enough or for not taking any sides, but the film does well with what it has. It's well shot, well acted and very funny.

[7.5/10]
 
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Title: War, Inc.
Year: 2008
Country of Origin: US
Director: Joshua Seftel

Story: Obvious satire is obvious.

Review: Sort of a follow up in tone only to Gross Point Blank, follows an assassin as he attempts to complete a couple of jobs in the middle of the worlds first privatized war. The film starts off strong, but the second that Hilary Duff shows up it nose dives into a crap-fest. The obvious satire is thrown into our face without any shame or wit. This isn't worth the time it takes to watch, if you feel the need to rent this...try Gross Point Blank instead.

[3/10]
 
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Title: Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance
Year: 2002
Country of Origin: South Korea
Director: Chan-wook Park

Story: A kidnapping goes terribly wrong.

Review: This is the first film of Park's ever popular Vengeance trilogy and in my opinion the best. It's a dark story and a well told one. The film paints a tragic picture where no one is a bad guy and everyone is a victim. It's most definitely a film that is worth watch.

[9/10]
 
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Title: Duel
Year: 1971
Country of Origin: US
Director: Steven Spielberg

Story: A man in an econ-box Vs. a truck.

Review: This is Spielberg's first film and it's a damn fine one. The story has a way of building tension out of the most mundane events. It's a simple plot, a man whose on a business trip encounters a truck on a two lane highway. The truck is moving slow, so he passes it. Then the truck passes him and begins a psychotic cat and mouse game. The film is well shot and acted for a TV. This one is worth watching.

[8/10]
 
Sexy Beast said:
Title: Monsters, Inc.
Year: 2001
Country of Origin: US
Director: Pete Docter

Story: Scaring children is now a business...or something like that.

Review: By the time this film rolled around, Pixar had already cemented themselves as the studio to beat in the animated film department. Though they were beaten this time around by Dreamwork's Shrek. For me, it's not as memorable as Pixar's other films, but none the less still a great entry in the studios repertoire.

[8/10]
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Hehe yeah the original Shrek did beat this, but <3 pixar always.

lets see nemo and incredables have been done; you said you haven't seen cars... I think ratatouille is next?
 
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Title: Pulse
Year: 2006
Country of Origin: US
Director: Jim Sonzero

Story: No no no no no you do not remake a Kiyoshi Kurosawa film.

Review: Oh, god why? Why did you allow this one? Why didn't you strike down the filmmakers with leprosy or something? >.<

Here is the thing, Kiyoshi Kurosawa is a damn fine Japanese director whose films are mostly in the horror genre. He is know for his deep, cerebral and philosophical films. What this film did was to strip everything and I mean EVERYTHING that makes the original a great movie. Instead what we get is a terrible horror movie with no depth what so ever. I hate this one with every fiber of my being...well not really, but you get my drift.

[1/10]
 
OSVG said:
Hehe yeah the original Shrek did beat this, but <3 pixar always.

lets see nemo and incredables have been done; you said you haven't seen cars... I think ratatouille is next?
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RatatouillePoster.jpg


Title: Ratatouille
Year: 2007
Country of Origin: US
Director: Brad Bird

Story: "I will make this easier to remember: keep you station clean... or I WILL KILL YOU!"

Review: I'm sorry, but this is my favorite Pixar film. Brad Bird is a mother f'ing genius with this and the Incredibles and the Iron Giant, this man is on a roll. The story follows a rat in Paris who wants to become a chef. You know what, screw it. Watch this movie!

[10/10]
 
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