Article ITT I attempt to review every movie I've seen.

[Sexy Beast]

Title: Poker Night
Year: 2014
Country of Origin: US
Director: Greg Francis

Plot: Hero cop gets kidnapped by masked man and tortured.

Review: I don't I have come across a film as aggressively unoriginal as this one. It's not bad though, just really mediocre. Like there are some fun moments in here, but they really do not stand out in any meaningful way. The supporting cast is surprisingly well stocked with some great chracter actors like Ron Perlman, Giancarlo 'Gus Fring' Esposito, and Titus Welliver. They're under utalized with most sticking to the scene involving the titular poker game...which has little to no actual bearing on the plot of the film. Our protagonist, Beau Mirchoff, is pretty dull in the role and his voice overs are dry and disinterested. To make matters worse is that there is nothing to figure out here. The masked man is really connected to the plot in a meaningful way, if there was some fun twist or something then it would be better for it...but there isn't anything worth talking about here.

[4/10]

 

[Sexy Beast]

Title: Transformers: Age of Extinction
Year: 2014
Country of Origin: US
Director: Michael Bay

Plot: [This Area Intentionally Left Blank]

Review: Why do I keep doing this to myself? This movie is like two hours and forty minutes long...actually scratch that it's not 'like' two hours and forty minutes long it is two hours and forty minutes long. two hours and forty minutes of noise, middling dialog, and poorly constructed action sequences. See, when Bay does an action scene he shoots it to look cool, but not to ensure coherency. If I were doing video reviews I would have just queue something as an example, but I guess you're just going to have to take my word for it in this case.

Anyway, it's a Transformers movie. You know what you're getting into at this point. This one is alright by Transformers standards...meaning that it isn't outright offensive in both quality and weird racist caricatures...well almost doesn't have any weird racist caricatures. It's no where near as bad as the second one. If you liked the previous films then you'll probably enjoy this one. If you're anything like me though, then this is one long tedious mess of a film where the only thing epic about it is the film's bulging running time.

[4/10]

 

[Sexy Beast]

Title: The Devil and Daniel Webster
Year: 1941
Country of Origin: US
Director: William Dieterle

Plot: A beleaguered farmer is offered great wealth in exchange for a useless old soul.

Review: This is a very American retelling of the Faustian legend of a man selling his soul to the devil for personal gains. It's a quaint morality play about the importance of community over personal greed. The film is old, but still entertaining and features some pretty good performances. I personally liked Walter Huston as Mr. Scratch (the Devil), he plays the character up as a wiley rascal whose actions seem to be out of a drive for entertainment more than malicious. This is an old fashion type film and is a little long at times, but overall definitely worth watching.

[8.5/10]

 

[erickablyat]

So, I noticed that you've done reviews for Mad Max and Fury Road, but haven't done Mad Max 2 (The Road Warrior). Since it's my favorite of the franchise (and just one of my favorite movies in general) I would love to see a review on it.

 

[Sexy Beast]

So, I noticed that you've done reviews for Mad Max and Fury Road, but haven't done Mad Max 2 (The Road Warrior). Since it's my favorite of the franchise (and just one of my favorite movies in general) I would love to see a review on it.

It's been so long since I've sat down and watched Road Warrior that I actually would like to see it again before writing a review of it. Same goes for Thunderdome.

As for the reviews themselves...or lack there of, I've been saddled with a massive paper from my study abroad program. So movie watching and reviewing has kinda slowed to a crawl. I'll try to get back at it asap.

 

[Sexy Beast]

Title: Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior
Year: 1981
Country of Origin: Australia
Director: George Miller

Plot: Max comes across an oil pumping community whose under siege by a group of marauding bandits.

Review: Road Warrior is a massive triumph and without a doubt one of the best direct sequels of all time. It catapulted the Mad Max franchise from being that one really cool post-apocalyptic film to the definitive version of post-apocalyptic society. No film has had quite the same impact on genre films as Road Warrior...except for the possibility of Aliens. It is actually difficult to overstate the quality of this movie, like seriously, it's that good. The plot explodes forward with ease at an incredible pace. The story itself is reminiscent of a western or a Kurosawa Samurai epic, in which Max finds himself playing something akin to 'the man with no name' or all seven of The Seven Samurai. Though the real star here is Miller's imagination, as with Fury Road it is in full display. Here too Miller crafts a fully realized world, which is probably why this film has managed to leave such a major impact. If you haven't seen this film, then you are missing out on a classic piece of Cinema and you would do well to see it as soon as possible.

[10/10]

 

[Sexy Beast]

Title: Carnage
Year: 2011
Country of Origin: France/Germany/Poland/Spain
Director: Roman Polanski

Plot: Following an altercation between their sons, two couple come together to act nice and pretend that they care about things.

Review: A great alternative title for the film could have been: 'Bickering: The Movie." Now that sounds like a slight against this film, but I honestly did enjoy this movie. Seriously, the whole thing amounts to four people bickering in an apartment in New York. Still I did loved the way that the relations devolved over the course of the film, from false pleasantries to out right contempt. The acting is solid which, given the cast, is not all that surprising. It's based on a play, so a pretty much all the film takes place in the apartment. Honestly, most people will probably not like this one, but I actually enjoyed it. So, give it a shot.

[7.5/10]

 

[Sexy Beast]

Title: Judex
Year: 1963
Country of Origin: France/Italy
Director: Georges Franju

Plot: Judex was the central character of sever serials that ran 1910s in France. For some reason, they decided to do another one a half century later.

Review: Judex starts as a relatively normal film about a rich man with a shady past who is getting blackmailed. Within the first twenty minutes though, it spirals into what could be best described as a comic book crime fantasy. Reality and basic logic takes a back seat and for the most part it actually works. It a fun film with a very quaint style of storytelling. What really makes the film something special though is Channing Pollock, who was a real life magician. There is a wonderful scene near the beginning where in a masquerade party he starts to pull birds out of thin air. It's one of the coolest things I've seen in a movie. Anyway, this is a fun film that at times does get a little dull. All in all, it worth a try.

[7.5/10]

 

[STRNGRDANG3R]

What we do in the shadows when you get a chance please

 

[Sexy Beast]

What we do in the shadows when you get a chance please

I'll have to actually see this, it's been recommended to me way too many times.

 

[Sexy Beast]

Title: The Pentagon Wars
Year: 1998
Country of Origin: US
Director: Richard Benjamin

Plot: Who wants to know more about the M2 Bradley Fighting Vehicle?

Review: The Pentagon Wars is a dark comedy about a particularly interesting time at the Pentagon. . It takes place during a shift of philosophies in how defense projects were selected and tested. In particular, this film covers the design history of the M2 and the type of substandard testing that the pentagon carried out on the M2. Oh, and it's a true story to boot. Overall though, the film is pretty entertaining and helps to illustrate the shear insanity of what was happening in the Pentagon during the 1980s and 90s. The performances are alright, Kelsey Grammer does a decent job as a career minding general. Cary Elwes though is a tad bit weak as the main protagonist, he just lacks the charisma needed to bring the character to life...which is odd considering Elwes can actually pull off a leading role. Maybe it's because this was an HBO film or something, but he just doesn't bring anything to the table. Anyway, this is a decently entertaining comedy and if you have interest in the politics of the military, then this might be one to check out.

[7/10]

 

[Sexy Beast]

Title: Under the Skin
Year: 2013
Country of Origin: UK/US/Switzerland
Director: Jonathan Glazer

Plot: Scarlett Johansson plays an alien who seduces men in Scotland and does something with them...I am still not entirely certain.

Review: Well I feel like a dummy, I could have saw this thing in theaters...like I was afforded the opportunity and I didn't go. Which is too bad since this is a film that should be scene on as big of a screen as you can find...also in a dark room with a booming sound system, so basically a movie theater. I saw this, because this is one of the most visually stunning films to have come out in recent memory. More than just stunning, there is imagery here that is confounding and disquieting. This is amplified by the film's spectacular score, which channels the likes of Ligeti and Penderecki to create an eerie, dream like, and ultimately unsettling tone for the film. This is one of the few soundtracks that I have actually bothered to download...like this is something I normally do not do.

As for the plot, it is about as opaque as you can get. What I can figure out, is that there are a group of aliens who have landed on earth and look like humans. Scarlett Johansson plays an alien who uses her sex appeal to lure men to their doom. Though as the plot progresses, Johansson's character begins to evolve (emotionally, not physically). It a slow burning plot and not one that will give any answers up front. So expect to walk away more perplexed that when you went in. Most of the acting is carried out by non-actors, just regular people; some who knew they were being filmed...others who didn't. The result gives a somewhat more real life feel to a lot of the dialog. Scarlett Johansson is really good here. Hats off to her for continuing to take on this type of challenging material in the face of the millions that Disney is shoveling her way for the Marvel Movies.

This is not an easy film and a lot of you will probably not like this one. Of course, that is not a slight against you if you do not fall head over heels for this movie. I personally loved it and will probably watch it again within the next few weeks. It struck a cord with me and I cannot help but recommend it.

[9.5/10]

 

[ChocolateVillain]

Under The Skin was one of those movies that I heard about, but no one I knew went and saw it, so it kind of fell off my radar. Might have to spend some time and go watch it.

Been trying to catch up on some reading and True Detective as of late, Happy to say I finally caught up to the latest episode.

 

[Sexy Beast]

Under The Skin was one of those movies that I heard about, but no one I knew went and saw it, so it kind of fell off my radar. Might have to spend some time and go watch it.

Been trying to catch up on some reading and True Detective as of late, Happy to say I finally caught up to the latest episode.

You definitely should. It's a solid experience.

Man, I watched the first episode of the new season...and just stopped. It just didn't have the same compulsive hook as last season.

 

[Sexy Beast]

Title: Foodfight!
Year: 2012
Country of Origin: US
Director: Lawrence Kasanoff

Plot: It's like Toy Story, except with mascots for grocery store products...actually, it's nothing like Toy Story.

Review: Foodfight! became infamous a year or two ago with the release of it's trailer. If you haven't seen the trailer yet...just go ahead and watch it, like now. Seriously stop reading right here and watch the trailer, it's important for you see it:

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Seen it yet? Awesome, looks terrible...doesn't it? Well I can safely say that the entirety to the films running time is as bad, no, actually worse than that trailer. The film goes wrong in just about every conceivable way it could. The acting is shockingly bad, like you can even blame the script on how awful the voice acting is in this movie. Speaking of the script, it feels like it was written by someone who learned script writing from the type of cereal commercials that played in the 90s. The animation is unfinished, hell the whole film is unfinished. The production company defaulted on a loan and the insurance company that held the policy on the film had to step in and finish the production. That's right, the creative folks at the Fireman's Fund Insurance Company, put the finishing touches on this turd. Oh, and the biggest joke of all...this film cost $45,000,000. Yeah, that's not a typo, $45,000,000 up in smoke. This is one of the worst things I have ever come across. It's not fun to watch in even a "it's so bad it's good" type setting. No, it's just painful and wholly unredeemable.

[0/10]

 

[Dr.Compton]

Title: Foodfight!
Year: 2012
Country of Origin: US
Director: Lawrence Kasanoff

Plot: It's like Toy Story, except with mascots for grocery store products...actually, it's nothing like Toy Story.

Review: Foodfight! became infamous a year or two ago with the release of it's trailer. If you haven't seen the trailer yet...just go ahead and watch it, like now. Seriously stop reading right here and watch the trailer, it's important for you see it:

.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.........
..........

Seen it yet? Awesome, looks terrible...doesn't it? Well I can safely say that the entirety to the films running time is as bad, no, actually worse than that trailer. The film goes wrong in just about every conceivable way it could. The acting is shockingly bad, like you can even blame the script on how awful the voice acting is in this movie. Speaking of the script, it feels like it was written by someone who learned script writing from the type of cereal commercials that played in the 90s. The animation is unfinished, hell the whole film is unfinished. The production company defaulted on a loan and the insurance company that held the policy on the film had to step in and finish the production. That's right, the creative folks at the Fireman's Fund Insurance Company, put the finishing touches on this turd. Oh, and the biggest joke of all...this film cost $45,000,000. Yeah, that's not a typo, $45,000,000 up in smoke. This is one of the worst things I have ever come across. It's not fun to watch in even a "it's so bad it's good" type setting. No, it's just painful and wholly unredeemable.

[0/10]

It almost feels like someone watched "The Producers", and then tried it in real life.

 

[ChocolateVillain]

You definitely should. It's a solid experience.

Man, I watched the first episode of the new season...and just stopped. It just didn't have the same compulsive hook as last season.

Yeah. It took a bit to get into it, but you should really try and watch the other episodes. I think now the story is starting to hit its stride. Just the first few episodes are a trudge no doubt but try and stick it out.

 

[Sexy Beast]

It almost feels like someone watched "The Producers", and then tried it in real life.

lol, I honestly wish it were something like that.

Yeah. It took a bit to get into it, but you should really try and watch the other episodes. I think now the story is starting to hit its stride. Just the first few episodes are a trudge no doubt but try and stick it out.

Yeah, I'll have to give it another shot.

 

[Sexy Beast]

Title: Why Don't You Play in Hell?
Year: 2013
Country of Origin: Japan
Director: Sion Sono

Plot: Do you know what would be a great place to shoot a film? In the middle of an ongoing mob war, of course.

Review: Oh man, I don't even know how to begin how to describe this film. I guess it would be a gleefully violent madcap romp about love, the fraternity of organized crime, and film making. The plot centers around a group of aspiring film makers who call themselves the 'F*** Bombers' and an ongoing conflict between rival yakuza clans. While this might seem to be an odd match up, the film makes it work in it's own manic and insane sort of way. Overall, it's a fun film that is easy to watch and wholly enjoyable. The main issue of the film though comes at the end. This is a movie that is so eager to go insanely over the top and off the rails, that it goes right off the rails. Depending on your disposition, the ending of this film will either have you laughing with rolling your eyes at how dumb it can get...or just have rolling your eyes. Why Don't You Play in Hell? is fun and at times hilarious, but at the end it just implodes in upon its own crazy self. Still, there is plenty to like here and I would give it a watch if you're into Japanese cinema...but beware, because this film loses itself in its own insanity.

[7/10]

 

[SassyTz]

Might I say... OMG! You watched hella movies and I don't plan on quoting you on that as the quote itself would take up one page lol.