Article ITT I attempt to review every movie I've seen.

Another thing to add to Spectre, my god the movie is long. You really start to notice a little past halfway though.

Oh my god, thank you. Completely forgot to mention how bum numbing this film was. Yeah it comes in at roughly 2 1/2 hours but if feels twice as long.
 
The_Mule_poster.jpg


Title: The Mule
Year: 2014
Country of Origin: Australia
Director: Tony Mahony & Angus Sampson

Plot: A regular Joe gets coerced into smuggling drugs from Thailand back home to Australia. He is forced to go about it the worst way possible...swallowing balloon fulls them.All goes well up until the point he is caught by Australia customs officials.

Review: So the main crux of the film is that our protagonist, Ray, has to beat a drug smuggling rap by not pooping while in police custody. The cops have the right to hold him for seven days and if Ray poops out balloons full of Heroin during that point he's going to jail. To make matters worse, the local crime boss is none too keen that Ray got picked up by the cops and may be on the the verge of fingering him.

I'm just going to put this out here, The Mule is not a easy watch. This is not because of the content of the film, it doesn't contain scenes of extreme violence or genital mutilation or stuff like that...not the film is just really really slow moving. The film just plods along and to make things worse, for most of the runtime it doesn't feel like it's building towards something. Like, we just have Ray...trying not to poop, while catching the occasional beating an impatient police officer played by Hugo Weaving. Fortunately though, the ending is somehow satisfying enough to make the whole exercise worth it. Like in the film's final half hour, it suddenly realizes that it actually has a compelling plot.

The acting is solid, Hugo Weaving is fantastic as a gruff and impatient cop whose prone to violence. Top marks goes to Angus Sampson who pulled triple duty on this film, on top of starring in the film he also co-wrote and co-directed. It's also nice to see John Noble in a movie, I've gotten so used to him as a TV actor that it is a little strange to see him in an actual movie.

Anyway, The Mule is a surprisingly satisfying film...just one that does get actually compelling until near the end. So if you're going to watch it...just remember, your perseverance will probably be rewarded.

[7.5/10]
 
Trouble_every_day_ver2.jpg


Title: Trouble Every Day
Year: 2001
Country of Origin: France
Director: Claire Denis

Plot: An American goes to Paris with his wife on what appears to be their honeymoon. In reality, he is there to track down a former colleague as well as his colleague's wife...who for some reason is randomly killing men.

Review: Ok, so two things: First, like 60% of this film is in English, so there is no real need to worry about subtitles. Second, this is the type of film where its true meaning obfuscated and not immediately obvious. It's the second point that will likely turn most people off to this film...people like me. See, normally I usually like these puzzle box type movies. The type of movies where you need to sit and think for a bit to try to derive some sort of meaning from its plot. Here's the issue though, for me to actually give a damn about trying figure out the plot or whatever...first I need to find the film compelling. A perfect example of this is Mulholland Drive. When I first saw Mulholland Drive, I had no idea what was going on. But with repeated viewings I started to suss out what was actually happening in film. For me, Trouble Every Day is not entertaining enough to try to figure out. Neither the film's central mystery or its bursts of extreme violence were enough to pique interest. You might have a different reaction, there are plenty of people who really like this film. For me though, it was just a exercise pretentious story telling with no real narrative thread strong enough to hold my attention.

[5/10]
 
Paprikaposter.jpg


Title: Paprika
Year: 2006
Country of Origin: Japan
Director: Satoshi Kon

Plot: In the near future, a device is invented that allows people to enter into other people's dreams.

Review: I can't really think of a way to review this film without bringing up Inception...mostly because Inception is the closest film plot wise to Paprika that most people have seen. Also because, Nolan has stated that this film was one of his primary inspirations for making Inception. So here is the thing, Paprika is pretty much everything that I had hoped Inception would be. Like Inception is an incredibly mundane and dull version of Paprika.

See Paprika takes the concept of entering into peoples dreams to what I would consider a logical conclusion...it envisions a dream world where anything can happen and where weird is the norm. Where much like dreams themselves, the world can change from one reality to another in an instant. In essence reality is malleable construct in a dream. This is the polar opposite of Inception's take on the concept, where there is a certain degree of rigidity to how dreams are approached. The way Paprika jumps between the world of the waking and of dreams is simultaneously confounding and breathtaking. We are left in a state where we're left wonder where reality ends and the dreams begin. The film's plot itself is tad confusing, but that's mostly because it uses the logic of a dream to tell itself. In the end, we're left with a film that makes no sense when using the logic of the real world, but makes perfect sense when looking at it through the scope of a dream. My only issue with the film is that at times it gets a little bogged down in trying to explain its own existence and the rules of the reality that it's presenting us.

This is the kind of film that really sums up what we lost when Satoshi Kon passed away some five years ago. There are few filmmakers who are willing to bend the rules of reality in the way that Kon does. You can also see it in one of Kon's previous films, Perfect Blue. Where reality is bent through the lens of fear, neurosis, and paranoia. Actually, the themes that where started in Perfect Blue were also carried over to Kon's anime series Paranoia Agent, which if you haven't seen...you should really check out.

In the end, Paprika is a fun, fascinating, and at times a confusing experience. It's something that you really should check out regardless of whether or not you enjoy anime.

[9/10]
 
555_box_348x490_original_zpsvlkkvtay.jpg


Title: Sweet Smell of Success
Year: 1957
Country of Origin: US
Director: Alexander Mackendrick

Plot: Two men, one a hard up press agent and the other and all power news paper columnist, conspire to destroy the relationship between two young lovers.

Review: I usually hate it when people say 'they don't make films like they used to.' I think the statement projects an ideology that believes there is something inherently wrong with cinema today. It's a sentiment that skews bias towards the past because the great films of the past are ever endearing. While the films of the present regardless of whether or not their good are caught up with everything that comes out today. People see popular films of the current era like Transformers or Jurassic World and equate them with what they perceive as a general downward slope of the medium as a whole. In reality though, there were plenty of popular terrible films that were released in the past. It's hard to notice those films though, simply because they have sunk into obscurity. You can extrapolate this same line of reasoning across all popular art forms, most notably music. Bad music has always existed, it's just that the good music has floated to the top of the pile while the bad has been completely forgotten. I'm going through this whole crazy esoteric spiel for a reason. That reason: they do not make films like the Sweet Smell of Success anymore. I know what I just said, and it makes me a bit of a hypocrite...but seriously, this is a film that you could not make today.

The Sweet Smell of Success is in essence the story of a pilot fish and a shark. The pilot fish of this story is Sidney Falco, played by Tony Curtis. Falco is a conniving press agent whose livelihood depends on his relationship with the world famous news paper columnist J. J. Hunsecker, played by Burt Lancaster. Hunsecker is the shark of this metaphor, he is successful, powerful, and most of all intimidating. He can move mountains with the stroke of a pen and kill someones livelihood with just a nod. Falco has a problem though, he had promised Hunsecker that he would break up the relationship between Hunsecker young sister, Susan, and a up and coming musician. His failure to do this favor has soured the relationship between the two and as a result he has begun to suffer financially.

This is a deeply cynical tale, the runs counter to Hollywood's usual infatuation with love stories. Here we have two men, both played by incredibly popular actor, trying to destroy a relationship between two individuals who are deeply in love with each other. The motivation for Hunsecker is that he loves his sister and has yet to see her as a grown woman capable of actually falling in love. For Falco though, it's all financial. This the type of plot that doesn't seem like it would amount to much, but the way that the characters are drawn helps to elevate the drama to an almost Shakespearean level.

What really sells the film though is it's dialog. Here is where the whole, 'they don't make films like they used to,' sentiment comes into play. I swear there is a memorable line every few minutes or so. The film just crackles with wry sarcastic dialog and the actors really sell it. This film came out in a period where Tony Curtis and Burt Lancaster were trying to legitimize themselves as serious actors. Thankfully, they were actually gifted actors and their performances here are nothing short of iconic. Especially Lancaster' s J. J. Hunsecker, there are few characters whose mere presence on scene is as intimidating as his. Curtis' Sidney Falco is fantastic, he manages to sell how small and desperate his character is next to Hunsecker...while also maintaining a shrewdness that enables him to operate in such deep waters.

The film was ultimately a financial failure, the changes in role type proved to much for the fans of Curtis and Lancaster. The film probably helped to put the skids on the career of director Alexander Mackendrick...which is unfortunate because he directed the hell out of this movie. If you get the chance, see this one. You wont be disappointed.

[10/10]
 
Hey beast, are there any movies that you havent seen that you would like to have reviewed? Gaming has been kinda boring as of lately & I wanna take my time & attention to something different. Do you know of any titles that are action/adventure/comedy/horror based that your interested in? I understand if they may be a bit of a stretch for you tho, since I know you enjoy drama flicks more.
 
Hey beast, are there any movies that you havent seen that you would like to have reviewed? Gaming has been kinda boring as of lately & I wanna take my time & attention to something different. Do you know of any titles that are action/adventure/comedy/horror based that your interested in? I understand if they may be a bit of a stretch for you tho, since I know you enjoy drama flicks more.

Hey, sorry for the late response. I'm trying to rack my brain and I guess out of the recent stuff that I have been meaning to watch and never really got around to it, you could try:

Neighbors
San Andreas
300: Rise of an Empire

Outside of that, pretty much you can tackle any film you want...heck even films that I have already reviewed.
 
Hey so I recently watched Creed & San Andreas. Are you planning on doing a review for Creed by chance?
 
Jack_Ryan_Shadow_Recruit_poster.jpg


Title: Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit
Year: 2014
Country of Origin: US
Director: Kenneth Branagh

Plot: Once again, Russia is up to no good and only Jack Ryan can stop them.

Review: So let's talk about Jack Ryan for a second. As a character, Jack Ryan has been around for 31 years and as of now has been portrayed by four different actors. Despite this, I still get the feeling that the character is somewhat less than a household name. Like in the face of Bond or Ethan Hunt, Jack Ryan is usually forgotten about. Seriously, there was a 12 year gap between the half decent The Sum of All Fears and Shadow Recruit. This fact really hits hard when looking at the demographics for this film, over third of the film's audience was over 50 and just 15% was 25 and under. This character is very much one that belongs to Gen Xers and Baby Boomers. I feel that Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit was a last chance for the Jack Ryan, like if this film didn't in a big way then that's it...no more Jack Ryan movies. Unfortunately, if I am right, then this is the end and what a poor way to end this series.

Shadow Recruit is a reboot...actually The Sum of All Fears was pretty much a reboot in its own right, so Shadow Recruit is the franchises second reboot. It attempts to shoehorn Chris Pine in as the titular character with mixed results. Pine is about as good as Affleck was a decade ago, in that they both failed to make the character either distinctive or even their own. At no point to we get the feeling that Jack Ryan is a special or even particularly compelling character, he is just flat and somewhat bland...more of a less interesting Jason Bourne than anything that we could have hoped for. It's the polar opposite of Harrison Ford take on the character, Ford's Jack Ryan felt like an actual person whose shoes are well worn from all the CIA stuff he's had to do over the years. Even Alec Baldwin's single shot at the character had more personality than what is on display in Shadow Recruit.

Actually, I think I get why this has happened. In both this film and The Sum of All Fears we're getting a character whose is just starting out. He has a girlfriend and some entry level position at the CIA and that's about it. We know he's smart thanks to some character exposition, but we pretty much have to take the film's word for everything about Ryan. With Ford and Baldwin we have a Jack as a more established character in he Universe. He is well respected in the CIA and more importantly he has a family...not a broken family like in Die Hard or Taken, but an actual, healthy, functioning family. This helps to lend the character well...more character. We legitimately care if he lives or dies because he has a tangible connection to the universe that he inhabits. We honestly do not need to put the entire United States at risk to give us stakes in a plot when you have an actual real character at the center of the maelstrom. This is what liked about the first three Jack Ryan films, the stakes were big enough without having to put the entirety of the United States at peril. A Clear and Present Danger, the weakest of the original three, didn't need a nuclear threat to create a situation where Jack Ryan was needed. He isn't a commando or something, the dudes an analyst. Growing up, Jack Ryan was probably my favorite action character because he was a smart guy who didn't need a gun to solve a problem. Sure, he's shot people, but he didn't go out of his way to shoot anyone. The Jack Ryan movies are probably why I always wanted to go into a research oriented field, because they made doing analysis and research seem awesome. Shadow Recruit gets away from that. Here, Jack Ryan inexplicably becomes the only man who can stop a terrorist attack. Heck, even The Sum of All Fears made damn sure to let us know that Ryan was not a field guy even despite is brief military background.

Wow, I am going off on a tangent. I guess to sum this whole mess of a review up: this is a mediocre action film that doesn't do justice to the Jack Ryan franchise. It has its moments, but those are few. This will probably be the last we see of Jack Ryan for awhile...if not ever. So Mr. Ryan, allow me to play you out:

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8xO__DrF-k[/ame]

[5/10]
 
From what I guess, someone at Universal just noticed that Sisters is getting release the same week as Star Wars. Why anyone would honestly do that is beyond me, I guess they figured it would make good counter programming or something.

Anyway, they did a parody of that Star Wars trailer about practical effects and whatnot:

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2Z3y3Qw3RU[/ame]

Moral of the story, when a Star Wars sized film is coming down the pipe you might not want to release anything the week of or a few weeks after.

Oh, apparently it happened to Austin Powers as well:

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9IxJw7ldv3g[/ame]
 
Last edited:
It's the end of the semester, so not really writing reviews till papers and finals are taken care of.

So instead I'll just be posting trailers like every other movie news blog does. I'll be like a legitimate movie journalist or whatever.

Anyway, if you liked Lethal Weapon or Kiss Kiss Bang Bang or Iron Man 3, you should be looking forward to The Nice Guys. Basically after the success of Iron Man 3, Shane Black has been given free reign to do whatever he wants...which is amazing. So here is the red band trailer for what looks to be an awesome film:

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOx-MlLDhuY[/ame]
 
To continue this trend of updating the thread without...well actual content. I'm probably going to do a review of this season of Fargo. I did one for last season foolishly thinking that it was going to be a one off miniseries. Fortunately though it wasn't and season two turned out to be possibly one of the best things to have ever popped up on my television.

Seriously, watch Fargo. We're in this odd golden era of television where there is a hard push for quality drama shows and Fargo is possibly the best thing to come out of this trend. It's actually a little odd just how much better this second season is in comparison to the first.

So yeah, watch Fargo. It without a doubt the best thing on TV right now.
 
Are you going to go see the new Star Wars movie when it comes out? Do you think it will live up to the expectation set by the previous 6?
 
Are you going to go see the new Star Wars movie when it comes out? Do you think it will live up to the expectation set by the previous 6?

You mean 3 :P

Keep seeing freaking commercials for it and wondering. Are you going to go see the new Point Break movie?

Wonder how much of such a B script they are going to keep in the remake...
 
Are you going to go see the new Star Wars movie when it comes out? Do you think it will live up to the expectation set by the previous 6?

I'm cautiously optimistic about it. I'll probably skip opening weekend and try to catch it on a slower day...but I'm definitely looking forward to it. I think it's got a decent shot at being good. I've been trying my darnedest to avoid trailers and footage, but from what I've seen it looks like it could be a lot of fun.

You mean 3 :P

Keep seeing freaking commercials for it and wondering. Are you going to go see the new Point Break movie?

Wonder how much of such a B script they are going to keep in the remake...

I feel like I should really sit down and watch the original so I can get properly annoyed by it. The only real take away I have for the film is that it's been written by Kurt Wimmer...whose work I generally hate.
 
I've been waiting for what seems like forever to get a trailer for this movie:

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRBeZGYisLg[/ame]
 
The-Killer-1989-Poster.jpg


Title: The Killer
Year: 1989
Country of Origin: Hong Kong
Director: John Woo

Plot: Chow Yun-fat plays a mob assassin who accidentally blinds a nightclub singer during one of his jobs...feels pretty sore about it.

Review: I am of two minds when it comes to action movies. I like action movies that are stripped down to their barest essentials, lose the plot, character development and pump in action. Take The Raid for example, plot and characters are kept to a minimum and most of the film's runtime is devoted to bone crunching action. Alternatively, I also enjoy action films that can build characters and plot. This is much harder to pull off, but for six glorious years John Woo churned out five such action movies. Starting with A Better Tomorrow and ending with Hard Boiled, Woo created films where the film's action scene had an impact on the characters themselves. See, in most action movie, a characters reaction to an action sequence is minimal. Take John Wick's excellent nightclub shoot out:

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-HSoOFdJ3s[/ame]

The sequence is beautifully shot and choreographed, but the scene doesn't really have an impact on the character of John Wick. At this point in the movie he is essentially the Terminator. I mean, while I love the film John Wick, it does help to illustrate a lack of actual humanity in our action heroes these days. With Woo's films though, our protagonists have a certain level of humanity. Where they feel less like a force of nature and more like...well...a person. Take the opening action scene in from The Killer, it's a similar set up: We have a club filled with gangsters and our hero is mowing all of them down. The big difference between the two is the interjection of a civilian, who becomes the focus point once she shows up. Then suddenly our protagonist becomes responsible for her and what happens to her:

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZecgAe4pEg[/ame]
*Sorry for the crap quality of the video​

So, to actually get to a point, The Killer is the epitome of Woo's story telling. Sure, Hard Boiled has more action, but The Killer has more ethos...it also has some fantastic action scenes. Seriously folks, if there is one thing to take away from this review is that you should watch The Killer.

[9/10]
 
Last edited:
Also, the Star Wars review will come in the next week. I'm avoiding theaters this weekend for obvious reasons, so expect it soonish.
 
Star_Wars_The_Force_Awakens_Theatrical_Poster.jpg


Title: Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Year: 2015
Country of Origin: US
Director: J. J. Abrams

Plot: Oh, hey look it's a Star Wars movie.

Review: So Star Wars. Freakin Star Wars man. I have to say that at this point, I'm a little tired of hearing about it. Disney's marketing machine groaned into action well over a year ago and it's been non-stop hype and marketing since then. It's gotten to a point where it's easy to forget that there is a movie under all of this, what Disney is actually trying to sell you is a movie ticket... well that, and an insane amount of merchandise. So let's peel off the layers of marketing and clickbaity hype articles and let's look at the film itself and oh, no spoilers:

Star Wars: The Force Awakens is pretty good, not great, just pretty good. It's a film whose major flaw is its own association with the Star Wars franchise. The plot and the way it unfolds is constantly hampered with a need to connect it with the original trilogy. There is something oddly inorganic about the way certain events transpire. Coincidences happen just because the film needs to introduce the Millennium Falcon or Hans Solo or some Jedi stuff. After a while you just accept it because that's just the way this film is going to go about its plot... you know, happenstance and coincidence. This sort of seeps into the characterization a bit. One of our main heroes, Rey, has an uncanny ability to be really good at things that she has never done before. I mean the character herself is fun, but a lot of the things that she pulls off feels too easy and not hard won...like there isn't an arc going on with her, just that the plot needs her to be good at something so she's good at it.

While the movies fun, it feels over stuffed. There is a ton a crap crammed into the plot and just way too many characters. For example, Oscar Isaac is kind of (?) one of the main characters of the film, but is relegated to a secondary status. It's almost as if the film needed to introduce him because he will be important in later films, but doesn't quite know what to with him at this point. Same goes with Carrie Fisher, she's here because our main characters eventually come across the resistance, but outside of reintroducing her character, she has little to do in this film. Also, I have no idea why someone thought it necessary to bring in Max von Sydow only to kill him off in the first minute of the film. Seriously, why? Or what was up with C-3PO's red left arm...why bring that up if you're not going to give us an answer...it's a dangling plot strand…don’t bring this type of crap up if you’re not going to answer it in this film. Heck, why bother to reintroduce C-3PO at all in this film, it’s not like he was important to the plot. This isn’t season four of Arrested Development damn it, don't get cute with chronology Abrams...

Anyway, despite all that I just ranted about...and yeah I could go on for a while here...Star Wars: The Force Awakens is still a fun movie that manages to capture a lot of the fun of the original trilogy. Sure, it’s hampered by franchise and world building, but when it gets going it’s a wholly enjoyable film. So go see it or don't...they're going to make more of them even if you don't. Like there are five more Star Wars films coming out...so get used to this because it will never end.


[7.5/10]
 
Last edited:
Back
Top