Jokes

[SpraynPray]

Hey guys just popped up in my head

Tell me the funniest non-dirty jokes you know




Notice:

EGO RULES STILL APPLY

 

[Split]

why did the cookie go to the doctor?'

he was feeling "Crummy"

 

[JayFlip]

Hey guys just popped up in my head

Tell me the funniest non-dirty jokes you know




Notice:

EGO RULES STILL APPLY

I don't think anybody should post a joke until the maker of the thread does first.

 

[m3rryg0r0und]

Alrighty everyone I MADE this next one up!

What kind of dessert do they serve in a prison?

Jail-O

 

[xosniper]

sorry, but here is a dirty joke....







A white horse fell in a puddle of mud.


/bows

 

[5starGeneralAlphaSnake]

Knock knock
Whose there
Owl
Owl hooo?

 

[iEye Captain]

What did the water say to the boat?

Nothing, it just waved.

 

[MaLm]

Me: Doctor, doctor, I only got 59 seconds to live!
Doctor: Ok, I'll be there in a minute.

 

[Sexy Beast]

The build up it better than the punchline...but what ever.

A bear walks into a bar and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings Montana."
The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.
The bartender tells him "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings Montana".
The bear, very angry now, says "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."
The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bellicose belligerent bears in bars in Billings Montana."

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bellicose belligerent bears in bars in Billings Montana that are on drugs."
The bear says "I'm not on drugs".

The bartender says

Spoiler

"You are now, that was a barbitchyouate".

 

[MaLm]

The build up it better than the punchline...but what ever.

A bear walks into a bar and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings Montana."
The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.
The bartender tells him "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings Montana".
The bear, very angry now, says "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."
The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bellicose belligerent bears in bars in Billings Montana."

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bellicose belligerent bears in bars in Billings Montana that are on drugs."
The bear says "I'm not on drugs".

The bartender says

Spoiler

"You are now, that was a barbitchyouate".

That doesn't make much sense, and whats the funny part?

 

[Lungbuster]

What did the guy say when he walked into the bar?


OUCH!!

 

[AnotherAsian]

A priest decided to give three nuns a day off.
24 hours later, the priest appraoches the nuns and asks what they did for the last 24 hours.
the first nun replies, "I stole a whole bunch of things."
the priest panicked and made the nun drick holy water. So she did and left.
The second nun was asked the same question and she replied "I was unfaithful to loads of men."
The priest panicked and made her drink holy water.
The third nun came in laughing hard. The priest, confused, asked "Okayyyy??? what did you do?"
The third nun said "I peed in the holy water..."

 

[Sexy Beast]

That doesn't make much sense, and whats the funny part?

A Barbiturate is a class of drugs...so it's a play on words. Then again once you have to explain a joke it ceases to be funny.

 

[JavaBasher]

Knock knock,
Who's there?
Interrupting cow,
Interru... MOOOOOO

 

[Split]

Knock knock,
Who's there?
Interrupting cow,
Interru... MOOOOOO