Now this was an assignment I had to do for online schooling and one of the girls I met on there told me to send it to the teacher and such, but I kinda messed it up on first try. So I have one old version and a newer version and I want your opinions on it. I sent it to one or two of my friends and they just laughed there asses off. Question is, is it THAT funny? :O
Time-Travel Question: If you had to choose 1 of the early civilizations to visit on a time-traveling mission, which one would you choose? Make sure to include 3 reasons you would want to visit this civilization.
Lately we've been having wars with our brother tribes in the north, but our weaponry is far more powerful then their sticks and stones. We've made things that can shoot into the air with just a string and a sharp stick. I don't know what they call it, but I'm thinking it's the bow. We've also made something that can help us farm better and create fresh crops, a hoe, I believe, I'm not entirely sure. Just don't ever beans to much. My friend Gillead did that once and boy he wasn't a happy tribesman. Let's just say he wiped with something itchy.
The heat isn't so bad, but I guess it's way worse in 2010. I could care less to be honest. Apparently my family and I are building a new hut east of a beautiful river and there's a cave nearby incase of something that goes bad, like weather, or a battle in or nearby the tribal village. Yesterday I was told to go check it out and another black furry animal popped out. I ran faster than a deer. When I ran past my family, they all looked at me for a second and turned to just see the black furry animal again and that sent them running as well. My father picked up the previous spear I had and put it right into the throat, thanks dad!
Like I said, life couldn't be better here. I also forgot to tell you about the game I made up yesterday. We call it football, but it hurts really bad, because it's a big coconut we kick around with our feet. So far I've had at least twenty broken feet and five unconsciousness, but hey, who's really counting. We're suppose to have some kind of party tomorrow and I'm running out of writing utensils. So I'm going to say goodbye!
Lately we've been having wars with our past allied civilizations in the far east, but our weaponry is far more powerful then their sticks and stones. We've made things that can shoot into the air with just a string and a sharp stick. I don't know what they call it, but I'm thinking it's the bow. We've also made something that can help us farm better and create fresh crops, a hoe, I believe, I'm not entirely sure. Just don't ever eat beans to much. My friend Gillead did that once and boy he wasn't a happy tribesman. Let's just say he wiped with something itchy from the forest.
The heat isn't so bad, but I guess it's way worse in 2010. I could care less to be honest. Yesterday I was told to go check out a cave up the mountains and another black furry animal popped out. I ran faster than any other land critter around. When I ran past my family, they all looked at me for a second and turned to just see the black furry animal again and that sent them running as well. My father picked up the previous spear I had and put it right into the throat, thanks dad!
Like I said, life couldn't be better here. I also forgot to tell you about the game I made up yesterday. We call it football, but it hurts really bad, because it's a big coconut we kick around with our feet. So far I've had at least twenty broken feet and five unconsciousness, but hey, who's really counting. We're suppose to have some kind of party tomorrow and I'm running out of papyrus. So I'm going to say goodbye!
Time-Travel Question: If you had to choose 1 of the early civilizations to visit on a time-traveling mission, which one would you choose? Make sure to include 3 reasons you would want to visit this civilization.
Old Version
Today, I stabbed myself with a spear. It was sharp and pointy. The rest of the family, well, lets just say they've had worse accidents, and yeah. All is nice here, no pollution or anything. Forest are lush and the gatherings and hunting's couldn't be better. In fact, I just ate some type of furry black animal from a cave just north of our home tribe. It scared the piss out of me and mom got pissed for pissing my pants in front of the whole tribe. It really sucked.Lately we've been having wars with our brother tribes in the north, but our weaponry is far more powerful then their sticks and stones. We've made things that can shoot into the air with just a string and a sharp stick. I don't know what they call it, but I'm thinking it's the bow. We've also made something that can help us farm better and create fresh crops, a hoe, I believe, I'm not entirely sure. Just don't ever beans to much. My friend Gillead did that once and boy he wasn't a happy tribesman. Let's just say he wiped with something itchy.
The heat isn't so bad, but I guess it's way worse in 2010. I could care less to be honest. Apparently my family and I are building a new hut east of a beautiful river and there's a cave nearby incase of something that goes bad, like weather, or a battle in or nearby the tribal village. Yesterday I was told to go check it out and another black furry animal popped out. I ran faster than a deer. When I ran past my family, they all looked at me for a second and turned to just see the black furry animal again and that sent them running as well. My father picked up the previous spear I had and put it right into the throat, thanks dad!
Like I said, life couldn't be better here. I also forgot to tell you about the game I made up yesterday. We call it football, but it hurts really bad, because it's a big coconut we kick around with our feet. So far I've had at least twenty broken feet and five unconsciousness, but hey, who's really counting. We're suppose to have some kind of party tomorrow and I'm running out of writing utensils. So I'm going to say goodbye!
New Version
Today, I stabbed myself with a spear. It was sharp and pointy. The rest of the family, well, lets just say they've had worse accidents, and yeah. Forest are lush and the gatherings and hunting's couldn't be better in our small Egyptian civilization. In fact, I just ate some type of furry black animal from a cave just north of our home, just outside of the city walls. It scared the crap out of me and my mom was just laughing while I ran and fell into some wet sand from the floods of the Nile.Lately we've been having wars with our past allied civilizations in the far east, but our weaponry is far more powerful then their sticks and stones. We've made things that can shoot into the air with just a string and a sharp stick. I don't know what they call it, but I'm thinking it's the bow. We've also made something that can help us farm better and create fresh crops, a hoe, I believe, I'm not entirely sure. Just don't ever eat beans to much. My friend Gillead did that once and boy he wasn't a happy tribesman. Let's just say he wiped with something itchy from the forest.
The heat isn't so bad, but I guess it's way worse in 2010. I could care less to be honest. Yesterday I was told to go check out a cave up the mountains and another black furry animal popped out. I ran faster than any other land critter around. When I ran past my family, they all looked at me for a second and turned to just see the black furry animal again and that sent them running as well. My father picked up the previous spear I had and put it right into the throat, thanks dad!
Like I said, life couldn't be better here. I also forgot to tell you about the game I made up yesterday. We call it football, but it hurts really bad, because it's a big coconut we kick around with our feet. So far I've had at least twenty broken feet and five unconsciousness, but hey, who's really counting. We're suppose to have some kind of party tomorrow and I'm running out of papyrus. So I'm going to say goodbye!
