- Joined
- Aug 2, 2009
- Messages
- 2,019
Sooo many realism threads out there...I am sure you're all sick and tired of them. Well, let me make it easy for you. Ignore the rest of the Realism threads, all you need to know about is right here.
First off, you might find yourself asking, "What has happened in Realism so far?" (If not, skip this part and jump down to the good stuff) Ah, here I am to enlighten you all...
REALISM NIGHT ONE (9-11-10):
Allies attacked Denmark from Norway on Kalt, but the Axis held them off.
Axis attacked North Africa from Italy on Tunisia, but the Allies held them off.
REALISM NIGHT TWO (9-18-10):
Allies attacked France from Netherlands on Dijon, but the Axis held them off.
Axis attacked Great Britain from France on riverc3 and, upon winning, the Axis took Great Britain.
REALISM NIGHT THREE (9-25-10):
Allies attacked Italy from North Africa on Anzio, but the Axis held them off. THEN, in an Axis counterattack from Italy to North Africa on Tunisia, the Allies held them off (for the second time).
Axis attacked Netherlands from France on Argentan, but the Allied held them off. THEN, in an Allied counterattack from Netherlands to France on Dijon, the Axis held them off (for the second time).
All in all the war has "only" (lol) lost the Allies Great Britain, but there have been so many minor defeats in-game that things sometimes seem bleak for them. Tonight was my first time I was able to join my teammates and I was able to witness these events.
HOWEVER...I am now on board with the team and I am going to do 110% to make sure that we succeed. Not just for us, and not just for our countrymen, but because the sake of the entire planet depends on us.
First, [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPS372AMPN8"]cue the music[/ame]. Allied forces, you need to be playing this at all times. I KNOW I have shared this...3-4 times?...before, but you underestimate how much it pumps you up and helps you do better...ESPECIALLY IN THIS SITUATION!!! Play it while you're on the forums. Play it while you're in servers. Play it during Realism. Play it in bed. Play it while you're...well...just play it all the time!
So we've gone over the "past", now it's time for the "future." Mark my words, here is the plan for guaranteed Allied supreme victory. I know I just have the rank of "private", but I have a secret...you'll notice that I am tight with all members of Allied leadership. I mean we're tight--really tight. "Secret handshake" tight. Therefore it should be no surprise that they have entrusted me with the actual plan for victory for Allied forces everywhere. You see, our #1 problem is that we just aren't playing up to our potential, therefore...
I am in charge of Special Tactics Utilizing Potential In Division. And believe me...I am full of S.T.U.P.I.D. ideas:
1) Everything starts with proper planning. Also, everything starts from the top. That makes Step 1 a double-doozy. In fact, I need to re-number this appropriately...
1&2) There we go. FIRST (and second), victory will come from where we attack. Next week, Allies are going to attack German forces through Russia. I mean, why not? Raise your hand if you're on the Axis leadership and expected an assault through Russia...nobody raised their hand? That's right, cause your arm got blown off in the war. Week 5? We're landing paratroops in Spain and attacking France from the South.
Defend that, suckers.
3) Next off, what's the first thing we do in-server? Select weapons. From here on out, Allied forces will select the four most crucial points of each map. At each of these points we will assign a machine gunner. "What about snipers?" you ask? Well, above each MG will be a sniper, looking to counter-snipe. "What about their rear?" you ask? There will be a second machine gunner laying behind them to cover their rear. "What about nades?" you ask? Well we've thought of everything. Crouching over the prone MGs will be a "nade return specialist" who has one job--to look for nades coming in and to dispatch them immediately. It's foolproof.
4) Next, each team has to choose proper map set-up. Our finest Allied engineers and scientists are currently working on ways to combine and animate furniture in-game to fight with/for us, like furniture-bots. Axis will be picked off one-by-one. Think about it..."Where'd that shot come from?" "We're being attacked by a sofa!" Who is going to take that seriously? Nobody. Not until they get shanked by the Allied Endtable of Doom. You laugh now, but...
5) By this time, the Axis will be freaking out and having to rethink their strategies. No problemo. We already have in place, Agents for the Allied Spy Network, all over the Axis team. You think I am kidding? Go check out the sign-ups. Look how many guys you have who prefer the Allies. Hmmm....I wonder what that means... All the Allies who prefer Axis (like myself)? Psssht. Decoys. Pure decoys. You're probably safer killing as many teammates as possible as soon as possible until you can be sure that the spies are no longer in your midst.
6) Which reminds me of our new Allied team tactics. In a courageously cunning change of strategy, spearheaded by General (IO) SA, Allies are tactically teamkilling lesser fighters in an attempt to confuse and disorientate our German counterparts on the field of battle. Just when they have no idea who's a threat or who isn't, BAM! IN YOUR FACE! It's the next-best strategy to carpet bombing the whole map.
7) Hmmm...figure out carpet bombing...
8) Finally, just like the words of the great battlefield tactician, Yogi Berra, war is 90% mental and the other half is physical. Therefore, while this is the eighth piece of the new S.T.U.P.I.D. plan, it is also the most intensive and crucial. Our mental strategy is to ensure full psychological dominance over our German counterparts.
THEREFORE...each Allied member is to select a German player. Let's make sure we get them all covered (especially the top ones--maybe some double-coverage?). Your job is to harass them into submission throughout the week. Make them loathe you. Get under their skin. Do what I do to eGO leadership on a daily basis (I can put on seminars if you need help). THEN, (partner up) swap with another Ally and their "assignment" and STEAM IM the crap out of them during crucial Realism moments. Distraction is the mission, and IMing their computer into freezing (possible with some of these) is extra credit.
It won't take very long to conquer Europe under my guidance...not very long at all.
NOTE: Please do not actually attempt #8...ever...I am pretty sure it will be grounds for our forfeiture of the entire battle.
OTHER NOTE: For all ALLIED players, I do actually have a good number of plans of (serious) things that WILL help us in Realism. If you'd like to know, please IM me on Steam and will relay them to you.
I expect to hear from EVERY member of the Allied team, top to bottom, in the coming week.
First off, you might find yourself asking, "What has happened in Realism so far?" (If not, skip this part and jump down to the good stuff) Ah, here I am to enlighten you all...
REALISM NIGHT ONE (9-11-10):
Allies attacked Denmark from Norway on Kalt, but the Axis held them off.
Axis attacked North Africa from Italy on Tunisia, but the Allies held them off.
REALISM NIGHT TWO (9-18-10):
Allies attacked France from Netherlands on Dijon, but the Axis held them off.
Axis attacked Great Britain from France on riverc3 and, upon winning, the Axis took Great Britain.
REALISM NIGHT THREE (9-25-10):
Allies attacked Italy from North Africa on Anzio, but the Axis held them off. THEN, in an Axis counterattack from Italy to North Africa on Tunisia, the Allies held them off (for the second time).
Axis attacked Netherlands from France on Argentan, but the Allied held them off. THEN, in an Allied counterattack from Netherlands to France on Dijon, the Axis held them off (for the second time).
All in all the war has "only" (lol) lost the Allies Great Britain, but there have been so many minor defeats in-game that things sometimes seem bleak for them. Tonight was my first time I was able to join my teammates and I was able to witness these events.
HOWEVER...I am now on board with the team and I am going to do 110% to make sure that we succeed. Not just for us, and not just for our countrymen, but because the sake of the entire planet depends on us.
First, [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPS372AMPN8"]cue the music[/ame]. Allied forces, you need to be playing this at all times. I KNOW I have shared this...3-4 times?...before, but you underestimate how much it pumps you up and helps you do better...ESPECIALLY IN THIS SITUATION!!! Play it while you're on the forums. Play it while you're in servers. Play it during Realism. Play it in bed. Play it while you're...well...just play it all the time!
The "good stuff"
So we've gone over the "past", now it's time for the "future." Mark my words, here is the plan for guaranteed Allied supreme victory. I know I just have the rank of "private", but I have a secret...you'll notice that I am tight with all members of Allied leadership. I mean we're tight--really tight. "Secret handshake" tight. Therefore it should be no surprise that they have entrusted me with the actual plan for victory for Allied forces everywhere. You see, our #1 problem is that we just aren't playing up to our potential, therefore...
I am in charge of Special Tactics Utilizing Potential In Division. And believe me...I am full of S.T.U.P.I.D. ideas:
1) Everything starts with proper planning. Also, everything starts from the top. That makes Step 1 a double-doozy. In fact, I need to re-number this appropriately...
1&2) There we go. FIRST (and second), victory will come from where we attack. Next week, Allies are going to attack German forces through Russia. I mean, why not? Raise your hand if you're on the Axis leadership and expected an assault through Russia...nobody raised their hand? That's right, cause your arm got blown off in the war. Week 5? We're landing paratroops in Spain and attacking France from the South.
Defend that, suckers.
3) Next off, what's the first thing we do in-server? Select weapons. From here on out, Allied forces will select the four most crucial points of each map. At each of these points we will assign a machine gunner. "What about snipers?" you ask? Well, above each MG will be a sniper, looking to counter-snipe. "What about their rear?" you ask? There will be a second machine gunner laying behind them to cover their rear. "What about nades?" you ask? Well we've thought of everything. Crouching over the prone MGs will be a "nade return specialist" who has one job--to look for nades coming in and to dispatch them immediately. It's foolproof.
4) Next, each team has to choose proper map set-up. Our finest Allied engineers and scientists are currently working on ways to combine and animate furniture in-game to fight with/for us, like furniture-bots. Axis will be picked off one-by-one. Think about it..."Where'd that shot come from?" "We're being attacked by a sofa!" Who is going to take that seriously? Nobody. Not until they get shanked by the Allied Endtable of Doom. You laugh now, but...
5) By this time, the Axis will be freaking out and having to rethink their strategies. No problemo. We already have in place, Agents for the Allied Spy Network, all over the Axis team. You think I am kidding? Go check out the sign-ups. Look how many guys you have who prefer the Allies. Hmmm....I wonder what that means... All the Allies who prefer Axis (like myself)? Psssht. Decoys. Pure decoys. You're probably safer killing as many teammates as possible as soon as possible until you can be sure that the spies are no longer in your midst.
6) Which reminds me of our new Allied team tactics. In a courageously cunning change of strategy, spearheaded by General (IO) SA, Allies are tactically teamkilling lesser fighters in an attempt to confuse and disorientate our German counterparts on the field of battle. Just when they have no idea who's a threat or who isn't, BAM! IN YOUR FACE! It's the next-best strategy to carpet bombing the whole map.
7) Hmmm...figure out carpet bombing...
8) Finally, just like the words of the great battlefield tactician, Yogi Berra, war is 90% mental and the other half is physical. Therefore, while this is the eighth piece of the new S.T.U.P.I.D. plan, it is also the most intensive and crucial. Our mental strategy is to ensure full psychological dominance over our German counterparts.
THEREFORE...each Allied member is to select a German player. Let's make sure we get them all covered (especially the top ones--maybe some double-coverage?). Your job is to harass them into submission throughout the week. Make them loathe you. Get under their skin. Do what I do to eGO leadership on a daily basis (I can put on seminars if you need help). THEN, (partner up) swap with another Ally and their "assignment" and STEAM IM the crap out of them during crucial Realism moments. Distraction is the mission, and IMing their computer into freezing (possible with some of these) is extra credit.
It won't take very long to conquer Europe under my guidance...not very long at all.
NOTE: Please do not actually attempt #8...ever...I am pretty sure it will be grounds for our forfeiture of the entire battle.
OTHER NOTE: For all ALLIED players, I do actually have a good number of plans of (serious) things that WILL help us in Realism. If you'd like to know, please IM me on Steam and will relay them to you.
I expect to hear from EVERY member of the Allied team, top to bottom, in the coming week.
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