This is the winning story by Cableman for Banelings portal 2 contest.
PART 1
Light years ago, on a fateful night when the stars aligned and the universe was in perfect harmony. Set place is Edgegamers Dust2 server, Cryptex was going 2 and 23 for the record. Two individuals by the name of Rebecca Black and Ronald McDonald hacked outside of the map, met on a smelly raft made of thousands of doritos in a lake formed from the tears of Rogue Sniper and Christy (the lake was orange?!?!). Well anyways we know where that went! Several days/weeks/months/whoknows later, Beta was born. Oh and what a glorious day it was! The melodic sound of Friday was playing in the background, Fartvader was indulging in the free kool aid and corn dogs that the makeshift hospital, made of cow manure and thousands of quills from a porcupine. The doctor, Mostly Harmless MD / MSW / RN / DDS / MPH and many more pages of lists of degrees and what not, was sweating at the sight of this extremely stressful but rewarding birth. Unfortunately, Rebecca Black did not make it through the birthing process (sad face) and was buried next to Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus, but that is another story and another time. Young Beta came out already wearing a suit, tie and top hat, looking strangely like the monopoly man??? He would not yet discover his true potential...
PART 2
As the years past, young Beta grew from and adolescent baby in a suit, to a grown man wearing sweatpants and a mickey mouse t-shirt everyday of his life. His best friends and partners in crime, Ill Legend and iamevilbear we're always by his side through the thick and thin, until they we're promoted and never seen again (probably raging in the css leadership room). Without his two best friends by his side and only the secret family burger recipe, he set out on a mission to become the greatest fast food producer in all of the world!!! After almost 5 years of hard work dedication, the grand opening of Nah Man Nah Burgers had finally unveiled. His first customer... no one (sad face yet again). Beta, now a grown man at 8 years old decided to call it quits and start a new life. He shaved his mullet off, shaved his uni-brow clean off and become a monk! He moved to a remote area in New Jersey, where it has said he has married the one they call Snookie, but that is off the record (It's really true). To this day, historians argue where Beta truly is hiding, we may never know, but ALL historians and followers of the Church of Beta all agree that... Beta... your like a burger!
I hope you enjoyed the biography, it took me 20 years to complete and I still think it could use some work!
Cableman won portal 2
PART 1
Light years ago, on a fateful night when the stars aligned and the universe was in perfect harmony. Set place is Edgegamers Dust2 server, Cryptex was going 2 and 23 for the record. Two individuals by the name of Rebecca Black and Ronald McDonald hacked outside of the map, met on a smelly raft made of thousands of doritos in a lake formed from the tears of Rogue Sniper and Christy (the lake was orange?!?!). Well anyways we know where that went! Several days/weeks/months/whoknows later, Beta was born. Oh and what a glorious day it was! The melodic sound of Friday was playing in the background, Fartvader was indulging in the free kool aid and corn dogs that the makeshift hospital, made of cow manure and thousands of quills from a porcupine. The doctor, Mostly Harmless MD / MSW / RN / DDS / MPH and many more pages of lists of degrees and what not, was sweating at the sight of this extremely stressful but rewarding birth. Unfortunately, Rebecca Black did not make it through the birthing process (sad face) and was buried next to Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus, but that is another story and another time. Young Beta came out already wearing a suit, tie and top hat, looking strangely like the monopoly man??? He would not yet discover his true potential...
PART 2
As the years past, young Beta grew from and adolescent baby in a suit, to a grown man wearing sweatpants and a mickey mouse t-shirt everyday of his life. His best friends and partners in crime, Ill Legend and iamevilbear we're always by his side through the thick and thin, until they we're promoted and never seen again (probably raging in the css leadership room). Without his two best friends by his side and only the secret family burger recipe, he set out on a mission to become the greatest fast food producer in all of the world!!! After almost 5 years of hard work dedication, the grand opening of Nah Man Nah Burgers had finally unveiled. His first customer... no one (sad face yet again). Beta, now a grown man at 8 years old decided to call it quits and start a new life. He shaved his mullet off, shaved his uni-brow clean off and become a monk! He moved to a remote area in New Jersey, where it has said he has married the one they call Snookie, but that is off the record (It's really true). To this day, historians argue where Beta truly is hiding, we may never know, but ALL historians and followers of the Church of Beta all agree that... Beta... your like a burger!
I hope you enjoyed the biography, it took me 20 years to complete and I still think it could use some work!
Cableman won portal 2
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