Banelings $60 steam contest

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It's the holidays! Make some hot cocoa, roast some chestnuts, and wear that ugly sweater that your cousin from the "strange" part of the family gave you!

Now, many of you will probably take some of that sweet, sweet holiday card money and spend it on some of the hottest games that have come out this season. But what if... you could WIN these games? What if...
I tell you that all it takes is YOUR BEST SHORT STORY?

Write up a HOLIDAY THEMED SHORT STORY and post it in this thread! The short story will be judged by CS:S leadership. We will be looking for creativity, so go wild! (But not too wild, it has to make sense!)

- THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE... winner
- Keep the story EdgeGamers appropiate
- The more creative the better
- You can only submit 1 story, and it can not be edited after submission
- Submit your stories as a reply in THIS thread only

YOU CAN ONLY POST IN THIS THREAD ONCE. MAKE SURE ITS YOUR SHORT STORY.
The winner gets $60 worth of Steam games!


Deadline: dec 23 2011

Last shortstory contest entries: http://www.edge-gamers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=169654

Winning story for last short story contest(cablemans): http://www.edge-gamers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=170510


Note: This contest is not an official EdgeGamers contest. This is a personal donation from myself to the community.
 
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Luke's Holiday Themed, Horrible, Story. :P
(*Read with Rhythm or it will make no sense. Lol)

Once upon a time, at the dead of night.
There once was a group, some called them Gamers,
Others called them Edge,
Nonetheless, It made no sense, For this is the story of who lead us in the darkest of the nights.
This is the tale of the leadership.

As the clock struck midnight, not a sound was made, Not even a peep. but one was stirring, that of a Cryptex*. He was waiting in the eves, waiting for that special man to come down the chute.

That man, so jolly and proud, led his little group. (Even though with a bit of a shout.) Now Cryptex* knew, that is was that night, that we would receive his promotion, without raising a thought.

From what he knew, he knew that his father had left him, that of Legend*. He knew his location was vacated, but he was being watched, to know if he would make due, to led the group.

From outside he could hear, "On Hammer, on Spray, on Slayr, on Rocko, on 2slow, on a part of Harmless, who knew he was a bit Sloppie." He knew that he had come, but with what, he did not know. As Cryptex laid in his bed, his eyes in a twinkle, he could not hold the joy of a promo.

He creep from his bed, with a bit of a swagger, he quickly ran to see his gift. He opened a package called "Promotion an' Pay" He knew the time had come for his paycheck to arrive.

All that joy, in an instant was lost, for he saw he was unchanged. As he swallowed his pride, he heard a voice from behind. He turned to see Artimus, with beard and all. Now he said, "You were to proud to see that you were smug, you forgot that you are stuck, you are the "Snowman" of the jail clan." Then with a jolly shout, "You must fulfill your destiny of the jail gods." And at that moment, Artimus left, with a snap of his fingers.

From that day, Cryptex has become a jail idol and god, and now I may be banned from his command.

END (I KNOW, IT WAS CORNY.)

I appreciate Leadership for doing everything they can in making eGO the best place around, and I especially thank Cryptex for being my Victim.
Thank You for reading, and Happy Holidays!


​


​
 
A Christmas Miracle by Michael422

Once upon a time there was a boy named Jhonny. He was very greatful for the things that he had, but was very sad because Santa was unable to make it to his house. Jhonny was poor so he lived in a very small log cabin with a small christmas tree. He only had one ornament for the tree so his family had to take turns putting it on the tree every year. Then one day he went into the woods to get some wood and ran into a wolf. The wolf took Jhonny to his cave and said "You are a very greatful boy. You deserve something nice." The wolf gave him an envelope and said "When you find something you like give the cashier this envelope." Jhonny went to the store but didn't buy anything for him. He bought presents for his whole family. Then on Christmas Eve Jhonny woke up to the sound of bells. He then saw the jolly old man Saint Nick. Saint Nick said "You are a very greatful boy. You deserve something in return for what you have done." Magically presents appeared under the tree. Jhonny and his family got everything they ever wanted. And they lived happily ever after.
 
And so, Mr. Santa and Mrs. Santa lived happily ever after again...

I don't need to win, because SANTA is going to give me a fishing rod, and a new hardrive ;)
 
A Christmas no one will forget…

A long time ago
There was a boy named Jensen
He was 10 years old

This boy wet his bed
Cried all night cause it was wet
Then he got his mom

She spanked him all night
So he was screaming in pain
Till the sun came up

Then he went to bed
The next morning was Christmas
He got many Presents

That night was so fun
Being with his family
His bed was still wet

He didn’t realize
That he was in a wet bed
So he washed his sheets

It was all cleaned
He drank too much water so
So again he peed

It was so very wet
This time he was in Pj’s
His new Pajamas

-Ghosty :D
 
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The Adventures of the CS:S Leadership​

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the clan, every gamer was gaming, not one getting banned. So the CS:S leadership, with nothing to do, set off to find Santa, searching for clues. As they walked through the mountains, covered with snow, they stopped to get warm by their fires red glow.
"Do you think we will find him?" ye ole' Cryptex wondered, all the while the ground shook and the sky boomed with thunder. "The North Pole's not that big," Christy reassured them as the fire popped quietly and started to go dim. "We've got to be close," Beta speculated, his mouth full of burgers as they all concentrated. Then Java chimed in, "That's the last of my burgers, I made them at work and they were only leftovers!"

As their talk became heated they argued 'bout nothing only wishing to be home with turkeys and stuffing. Talking turned to shouting, voices raised and people doubting. Beta held up his hand to look at his wrist, "At this rate we'll never find Santa's promotion list!" Having lost all their hope, they debated turning back, till a man voiced his feelings saying, "I'll be the judge of that! We've come through the cold, the thick and the thinner, if you take my advice, we'll be back before dinner. All we need do to get Santa's attention is sing a bright song to get rid of our tension." Christy spoke next with an idea like none other, "I think Beta should sing, voice so pure like his mother's." "I'll do my best," Beta said with a smirk, as he opened his mouth singing, "BABY YOU'RE A FIREWORK!"

It was in that odd moment as they all scratched their ears, that nothing happened, poor BRK fought back tears. As they began to turn back they saw a man with a cat, they knew who it was, though he wore a large hat. No, there was no one from TF2 there, the man simply said, "iamevilbear." The leaders rejoiced upon seeing their friend, they knew that he'd help them get to the end. He lead them through the pass, not a step out of place, he knew where to go to find Santa's base. As they rounded the corner they saw a faint glimmer of the lights of a workshop that never became dimmer.

They all walked inside and talked to Saint Nick, Java got rather nervous and began feeling sick. But as old Santa spoke he lifted their hearts, but they couldn't help but notice the toys, tools and darts. "As you see we've been busy," he said with a snicker, "tonight's when I brave both thin winds and thicker. But do not be worried, I know why you've come, and it's not for my toys or even that drum. Yes I know you've come for something more special than these, something better than sunshine and a warm summer breeze." And so it was that he held out his fist, and in his hand appeared the Christmas promotion list. With a merry "Ho-ho" and a happy wave goodbye, he loaded his sleigh and flew off in the sky. They stayed but a moment, the list they inspected, to none of their surprise it was already perfected.

So they headed back home happy and cheerful and as they traveled the mountains not one of them was fearful. They arrived back home to see a meal on the table with a letter from Santa thanking them for being able. They sat down and ate and what a wonderful time it was, and they stayed awake all night like everyone does!

So this is the story of the the Christmas they had, I hope you enjoyed it and haven't been bad. Some will stay up, their hearts are so haughty, but Leadership knows who's been nice and who's naughty.

**Not bad for making it up on the spot. Sorry for not mentioning Mostly Harmless, but there you go, he's mentioned now. Enjoy your Christmas everyone!**

EDIT: Special thanks to rhymezone.com ;)
 
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Once upon a time, there was a gamer, let's call him C.
There would be no Christmas this year for C
There wasn't money for gifts, lights, or a tree.

He knew this, but he didn't bother
The holidays are about family and friends
He'd spend time with his mother and father.

And his second family in eGO
He'd game with them until it got cold
And it started to snow.

"This is what the holidays are about,
Not the sales or gifts."
Said C, without a doubt

C was quite happy spending time with friends
And that's how this this happy little tale ends.
 
One day Darth was born.

The next the ShoutBox was made.

They lived happily ever after.

The end.
 
One cold morning, Francis P. Shuester (FPS) arose from his deep slumber. He turned to his wife and gave her a good morning kiss, then proceeded to shower the bed bugs off his muscular bod. After pouring a hot coffee to go, he packed up his lappy and headed to work. When he arrived at his office, he noticed a coupon laying on his desk for free Subway subs. "Must have been from a co-worker" he thought as he set them aside. After logging on to check his email, facebook, and ego forums, he stumbled upon a thread regarding short stories. He began reading, while at the same time running ideas through his head for possible stories. After reading quite a lengthy and amazing story by Zimmy, he felt depressed and lost all hope for success. Now, FPS has resorted to smoking and drinking redbulls to ease his mind from the torment of failure.

Fin.

ps. i dont smoke and my name isnt Francis but i do have a hot bod.
 
There is no voting lol. Css Leadership chooses which one they like best lol I like them all so far, even darths lol
 
The Tale of Beta
Once upon a time, in a land far far away on the Night before Christmas in a small town a Beta was born. He was handiest man in all the land. Throwing bans left and right, then one day Beta discovered Edgegamers. Beta later joined the all might Counter Strike Source division lead by Councilman Polamalu. Polamalu saw great potential in the young Beta. So one day Polamulu and Beta set out on a quest to reach the mighty kingdom of White Castle to retrieve the princess horsetex. While walking through the forest they met the mighty troll Javabasher. Javabasher explained that to reach the kingdom of White Castle they must go threw him first. Then Polamalu told him off saying "In these lands you are a guest!" and frightened the mighty troll and he ran off crying.

As Beta and Polamalu continued through the forest, Beta found the thing he had been searching for his entire life, "The Burger Hat." However before he could get to it a wild Iamevilseal appeared and ate the majestic burger hat. Enraged by what the seal had done, Polamalu trolled the seal into submission.

Then in the distance Beta saw the gleaming White Castle. As they approached the castle they could hear Horsetex singing. Once they got closer they saw The Judge was blocking their path. The Judge was biggest troll in all of the land; however Beta knew what to do. He put on his apple bottom jean pants and his boots with the fur. And then as the whole club began to look at him, The Judge tried to run away. However the power of fur was to strong and drew him in. Then Polamalu said "In these lands The Judge you are a guest!" The Judge then fell dead because of mighty troll.

Once they had reached White Castle they met Rogue Sniper with his pet Cow. Rogue Sniper then told them "If you wish to enter this castle and save Horsetex you must drink the sacred milk." Beta and Polamalu agreed and downed the milk like a shot. They then climbed to the top of the tower and met the cruel Bigredking and his court Jester Mostly Harmless. Bigredking then said, "If you wish to rescue Horsetex, you must give me your boots with the fur."

Beta agreed with bigredking and traded the majestic boots for Horsetex. On the way home from White Castle, Beta and Polamalu met Christy, Horsetex's rightful owner. Beta then traded his apple bottom jeans for Horsetex. Then Beta and Polamalu rode off into the sunset. Some say that to this day if you listen closely you can still hear Horsetex singing in the woods.


The End!​
 
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