The worst joke you'll hear today

KelpTheGreat

KelpTheGreat

EGO Zealot
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Sep 8, 2008
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So, about 5 years ago I was professionally diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. I don't exactly go around proclaiming it, but I don't make any effort to hide it either. The diagnosis has changed my life in both positive and negative ways, but overall, I think I'm more comfortable with myself now that I know there's a medical reason for why I'm so weird. :P

Anyway, I recently switched doctors, and the other day I went to see him for a routine check-up. When I got into the room and met him, he was looking at my chart, and noticed something odd.
"Wait," he said. "This says you have AS?"
"Yeah, is that a problem?" I replied.
"No, not a problem, it's just incredibly rare. I've only heard about it in textbooks."
"It... it is? I was under the impression that it was fairly well-known. I mean, I know at least 4 others who have it also..."
"Really?! Forgive my incredulity, but I find that hard to believe." The doctor shook his head.
"Why do you think Asperger's is so rare?" I asked him, wondering if he was just yanking my chain.
"Wait, did you say Asperger's? Oh, that makes more sense! I thought you had a butt made of beef," the doctor chuckled loudly.
"Wait... what?!" I said incredulously.
"You know... I thought your heinie was 100% heifer. You had a rump roast for a rump. Your rear end was a rib-eye steak."
"I literally have no clue what you're talking about," I said in bewilderment.
"Oh, it looks like my secretary made a typo on your chart. It says here you don't have Asperger's - you have Ass Burgers.



This incredibly dumb joke was made up completely by me, and is totally false. Except for the first paragraph, that was true. :lol:
 
Being one who's hung around kids with AS, you'd be surprised how many times I've heard this one ;)
 
wtf6.gif
 
it's good that you have a sense of humor with something like this
i myself am completely deaf in one ear and some in right ear and have a speech impairment (had spinal meningitis as a baby) and i love to joke around and have fun with it
 
I BEG TO DIFFER.

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A GUMMY BEAR!
 
What do you call a snobbish robber going down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.
 
So I once knew this guy named Calvin (Cal for short) and we used to play football back in highschool. We were both linemen but he was an extremely fragile guy. He reminded our coach of Christopher Reeves from the Superman movies since he kinda had that twirl in his hair and we gave him the appropriate nick name.. Now despite his physical fragility, Cal had the absolutely worst halitosis (bad breathe), so bad he could knock out the rushing linebackers just by breathing on them, so the team used to chant this:

"Super Cal is fragile except for halitosis!"






I'll see myself out now
 
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
 
What'd the two thieves do after their latest heist?

Made out like bandits.

And yes, I'm still alive.
 
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