Roast Johnny - Win Prizes

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Johnny

Johnny

Poster Extraordinaire
=(eGO)=
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Aug 13, 2010
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Roast me in this thread. Best 2 roasts will be picked to receive an Overwatch Funko Pop of his or her choice. Let the burns begin!

I'll pick winners when I'm sufficiently roasted.

EDIT: Btw, you can post as many roasts as you want.
 
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The name Johnny, the stupid way to try to make the stupid name "John" feel special.
 
I really don't have anything bad to say about Johnny cause I don't really know him except that I may think of him when I sit down on my throne while gaming on my tablet. But I use to worship him when I use to get drunk in my early years. :)
 
A lot of people will say that Johnny stands out from other DLs, but you never see him play the game he is a leader for. How does that make him any different?
 
I almost never see him play and he just floats around teamspeak like some gelatinous spaghetti monster that has been forsaken by his overlord. Seriously.
 
I think Johnny has some identity issues, he's not quite sure what game he supports
 
When this guy tries to put on his "Deal with it" glasses to be ok with the roasts, he can't find his face due to it being melted off by his division's roasting.
 
I'd roast Johnny, but he'd forget what I'd say in 5 seconds.
 
I'd try to roast Johnny...but it'd just go in one ear and out the other at a speed faster then Light.
 
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Johnny would go on a backstage tour of Paramount Studios, but he's worried people would mistake him for Cousin Itt due to that facial hair.
 
Johnny is truly an enigma. The one man who can request someone to roast him, not knowing what it meant at all, simply to have more thread replies to say "what?" to.

(love you)

Jade said:
I'd roast Johnny, but he'd forget what I'd say in 5 seconds.
Click to expand...

He has object permanence issues as well. It's quite sad. If he forgets where he put his girlfriend, he'll just keep playing Overwatch as if she doesn't exist.
 
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I asked an anonymous third party to judge these roasts and they picked Mister36 and Jolt as winners! Thanks for making me cry.
 
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