- Joined
- Mar 16, 2008
- Messages
- 1,877
It has been confirmed, the pyro is a girl. And a special thanks to my keen eyed assistant, tiddy, here is the proof:
Pyro's Locker
Notice the small bag in the cubby above the locker.
And upon closer inspection:
It is in fact a pink flowery purse.
I think her name is SaraBelle.
At least when I asked her, that's what it sounded like she said.
(Edited to add interview)
While I do appreciate all of y'alls input, I actually interviewed her late last night for my newsletter, Sunshine and Cookie Dough. I asked her some of your burning questions. (haha, burning questions, get it?) She removed the mask and sat down for a little one on one.
PurpleNurple:
Pyro? Hi. I’m Purple.
Pyro:
Mmhmm. Mmnm mmhmmmh mmnmmh.
PurpleNurple:
Yeah, the whole gas mask think is great in game and all, but I really don’t think it’s gonna work for this interview. So, if you don’t mind, can we take it off?
Pyro:
OK, sorry.
PurpleNurple:
Super Great. Thanks. So, my first question, answered. You are a girl.
Pyro:
Yes, I am a girl. And my name is MollySue.
PurpleNurple:
Wow, super glad you removed the mask, I was way off. Why do you sound like a guy with the mask on, because you clearly have a feminine voice?
Pyro:
Well, the mask is big and it garbles my voice so much that I have to yell to be heard. So the people that made the mask put a sort of speaker into it so people could hear me better. The only one they could find was the “husky” version. They are supposedly working on the “sweet and cuddly” version.
PurpleNurple:
Sweet and cuddly, Super. I want one of those too. Why do the game designers refer to you as “he”?
Pyro:
Well, when we first started playing they let people know and I couldn’t get out of the spawn without being hit on. The guys would line up and point and say things like “OMG, it’s a girl” “What is a girl” “Go out with me girl”. It made that game a little one sided. As they lined up, I would burn them. It was our strategy at first, the other team would come talk to me, and my team would go cap all the points. Quite frankly, it was a little too easy. Easy kills are great sometimes, but where’s the sport in that, ya know?
PurpleNurple:
No, actually, I’d like some easy kills.
Pyro:
Um... Anyway, gaming guys don’t always think clearly. They get very distracted knowing there is an actual female somewhere on the same planet. So, they just kept coming back, over and over, each time trying to impress me in a different way. They would do taunts, they would do a silly dance, some would bow, one even belched at me. The results were always the same, a torch to the face.
PurpleNurple:
Ouch. That seems a little harsh.
Pyro:
Yeah, well, it’s just part of the job. That’s just how I roll. Anywho, the developers decided it would be better to call me a he just to keep the game more even. See, quite a simple explanation really.
PurpleNurple:
I see. That like, totally, completely registers.
Pyro:
What?
PurpleNurple:
It makes sense.
Pyro:
OK. Have you done an interview before?
PurpleNurple:
This is not an interview about me. What's with swinging the axe like uncle Jethro on a chicken's neck?
Pyro:
Funny you should ask.
PurpleNurple:
Hahahahahahahahaha
Pyro:
What are you doing.
PurpleNurple:
You said it was funny and I am tired, so I figured I should laugh so I wouldn’t look stupid.
Pyro:
Um… that was the last question you say? My Uncle Jethro is actually the person that taught me to swing the axe. He started teaching me the axe when I was quite young. I was about 4 when I got my first one.
PurpleNurple:
Aw, that’s so completely adorable.
Pyro:
Will you let me finish so I can go?
PurpleNurple:
Sure, sorry.
Pyro:
I entered a lot of our local country fairs in the chicken neck chopping competitions. My record: 32 chickens in one minute.
PurpleNurple:
Wow, that’s a super huge amount of chi…
Pyro:
Seriously? …. OK, that’s what I thought. One day, when I was older, my Uncle Todd, from the city came to visit on the farm. I liked his way of making chicken much better. He really simplified the process, just torch the suckers. They were dead and cooked in one quick swing of the flame thrower. It was fantastic. I’ve never looked back.
PurpleNurple:
Fascinating
Pyro:
Whatever, I need to get back, my team really needs me.
PurpleNurple:
Sure. Wait, the bag. Why leave the evidence of the pink flowery purse.
Pyro:
It’s my make-up bag. You never know, one day, one of them might actually impress me.
PurpleNurple:
Gotta look good, I suppose. You never know. Thanks for talking with me MollySue.
Hugs?
Pyro:
Can I go then?
PurpleNurple:
If you really want to, but I thought we’d hang out for a little bit. You know, paint our nails, do our hair, girls night out…. No? Ok, hugs then.
Pyro:
Fine, hugs.
And that my friends is it. She was a bit serious for my liking, but she’s still a girl, so she totally rocks. I hope you are satisfied and can now come to terms with the fact there girls do play and are awesome.
Pyro's Locker
Notice the small bag in the cubby above the locker.
And upon closer inspection:
It is in fact a pink flowery purse.
I think her name is SaraBelle.
At least when I asked her, that's what it sounded like she said.(Edited to add interview)
While I do appreciate all of y'alls input, I actually interviewed her late last night for my newsletter, Sunshine and Cookie Dough. I asked her some of your burning questions. (haha, burning questions, get it?) She removed the mask and sat down for a little one on one.
PurpleNurple:
Pyro? Hi. I’m Purple.
Pyro:
Mmhmm. Mmnm mmhmmmh mmnmmh.
PurpleNurple:
Yeah, the whole gas mask think is great in game and all, but I really don’t think it’s gonna work for this interview. So, if you don’t mind, can we take it off?
Pyro:
OK, sorry.
PurpleNurple:
Super Great. Thanks. So, my first question, answered. You are a girl.
Pyro:
Yes, I am a girl. And my name is MollySue.
PurpleNurple:
Wow, super glad you removed the mask, I was way off. Why do you sound like a guy with the mask on, because you clearly have a feminine voice?
Pyro:
Well, the mask is big and it garbles my voice so much that I have to yell to be heard. So the people that made the mask put a sort of speaker into it so people could hear me better. The only one they could find was the “husky” version. They are supposedly working on the “sweet and cuddly” version.
PurpleNurple:
Sweet and cuddly, Super. I want one of those too. Why do the game designers refer to you as “he”?
Pyro:
Well, when we first started playing they let people know and I couldn’t get out of the spawn without being hit on. The guys would line up and point and say things like “OMG, it’s a girl” “What is a girl” “Go out with me girl”. It made that game a little one sided. As they lined up, I would burn them. It was our strategy at first, the other team would come talk to me, and my team would go cap all the points. Quite frankly, it was a little too easy. Easy kills are great sometimes, but where’s the sport in that, ya know?
PurpleNurple:
No, actually, I’d like some easy kills.
Pyro:
Um... Anyway, gaming guys don’t always think clearly. They get very distracted knowing there is an actual female somewhere on the same planet. So, they just kept coming back, over and over, each time trying to impress me in a different way. They would do taunts, they would do a silly dance, some would bow, one even belched at me. The results were always the same, a torch to the face.
PurpleNurple:
Ouch. That seems a little harsh.
Pyro:
Yeah, well, it’s just part of the job. That’s just how I roll. Anywho, the developers decided it would be better to call me a he just to keep the game more even. See, quite a simple explanation really.
PurpleNurple:
I see. That like, totally, completely registers.
Pyro:
What?
PurpleNurple:
It makes sense.
Pyro:
OK. Have you done an interview before?
PurpleNurple:
This is not an interview about me. What's with swinging the axe like uncle Jethro on a chicken's neck?
Pyro:
Funny you should ask.
PurpleNurple:
Hahahahahahahahaha
Pyro:
What are you doing.
PurpleNurple:
You said it was funny and I am tired, so I figured I should laugh so I wouldn’t look stupid.
Pyro:
Um… that was the last question you say? My Uncle Jethro is actually the person that taught me to swing the axe. He started teaching me the axe when I was quite young. I was about 4 when I got my first one.
PurpleNurple:
Aw, that’s so completely adorable.
Pyro:
Will you let me finish so I can go?
PurpleNurple:
Sure, sorry.
Pyro:
I entered a lot of our local country fairs in the chicken neck chopping competitions. My record: 32 chickens in one minute.
PurpleNurple:
Wow, that’s a super huge amount of chi…
Pyro:
Seriously? …. OK, that’s what I thought. One day, when I was older, my Uncle Todd, from the city came to visit on the farm. I liked his way of making chicken much better. He really simplified the process, just torch the suckers. They were dead and cooked in one quick swing of the flame thrower. It was fantastic. I’ve never looked back.
PurpleNurple:
Fascinating
Pyro:
Whatever, I need to get back, my team really needs me.
PurpleNurple:
Sure. Wait, the bag. Why leave the evidence of the pink flowery purse.
Pyro:
It’s my make-up bag. You never know, one day, one of them might actually impress me.
PurpleNurple:
Gotta look good, I suppose. You never know. Thanks for talking with me MollySue.
Hugs?
Pyro:
Can I go then?
PurpleNurple:
If you really want to, but I thought we’d hang out for a little bit. You know, paint our nails, do our hair, girls night out…. No? Ok, hugs then.
Pyro:
Fine, hugs.
And that my friends is it. She was a bit serious for my liking, but she’s still a girl, so she totally rocks. I hope you are satisfied and can now come to terms with the fact there girls do play and are awesome.
Play the sound files by themselves, not in-game. They sound nothing like a girl. Cant deny the Pyro's cute and cuddly though 
