Funny Voicemail

What's the funniest voicemail greeting you can think of?
“The number you have reached is not in service, the previous owner of this number has ascended from this plane of existence and now does battle with Gods and Ancient Ones. They no longer have the need for “voicemail”. However should you wish to please yourself and leave a message anyways, you may do so after the tone” -beep-

this may have been the most cringe post I’ve ever made on this website
 

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