Tell me about the lowest point in your life

[Arbiter]

This might be kind of a deep topic, but I’d like to know about the lowest moment in your life, and how you’re doing now. If you’d like, you can attach a photo from your “lowest moment” or just share the experienceObviously there is no obligation to share, but I figured I’d go first!

November 4th, 2017

On this day in 2017, which also happens to be @Thorium’s birthday, I hit the lowest point of my life (so far). I had just graduated highschool, and was about two months into studies at my college for Information Technology. My girlfriend of 4 years calls me at 3 AM to let me know she’s breaking up with me to date my best friend. In the at 7 AM on the way to my parking garage, my car slides into a guardrail after hydroplaning. At 6 PM my doctor informs me I am “critically overweight”. Somewhere in the evening I check my grades for the midterms... D’s!!!! For me, the next month or two would be several lows. I’d drop out of my current college and switch to a community college and join academy. My parents would divorce in December, in January, I’d get diagnosed with thyroid tumors. My mom would undergo surgery for pancreatic cancer. My parents house would foreclose in March.
(Here is my dad standing with the house on his last day with it!)

Fast forward, it’s 2021!

I am around 160 pounds lighter, enjoying a new relationship, about to finish my masters (in a year or so) for computer science. I’m going to Disney world for the first time next week. My mom is cancer free and my thyroid condition is manageable. My dad has a new house upstate he loves, my mom has her own condo in Connecticut. I’m managing the relationship between my parents well, working a job relatively in my field, can pay my bills, and just feeling generally happy about 99.5% of the time.

so what about you! How’s your life? When was your lowest point?

 

[heidi]

Thank you for sharing Arbiter :> I'm happy to see you are doing better now in comparison to your lowest point.

My lowest point was probably the majority of 2020. I am not really willing to get all into it, but I was being challenged with some serious mental loops. I didn't have a lot of support during that time and was left to deal with a majority of my trauma on my own. It really shows that even though someone seems happy whenever you talk to them, that doesn't mean that is necessarily true.

Now, I am doing pretty well. I took those negative experiences and turned them into something I can learn from and be stronger. I am going into my second year of college, I have wonderful people in my life, and I am doing better mentally. I gotta say @EDisch222 is my rock and I probably wouldn't be where I am without him. :> (Thank you for always being there for me edu.) I am excited for all the new friends and experiences I have to look forward to in the future.

 

[Arbiter]

Thank you for sharing Arbiter :> I'm happy to see you are doing better now in comparison to your lowest point.

My lowest point was probably the majority of 2020. I am not really willing to get all into it, but I was being challenged with some serious mental loops. I didn't have a lot of support during that time and was left to deal with a majority of my trauma on my own. It really shows that even though someone seems happy whenever you talk to them, that doesn't mean that is necessarily true.

Now, I am doing pretty well. I took those negative experiences and turned them into something I can learn from and be stronger. I am going into my second year of college, I have wonderful people in my life, and I am doing better mentally. I gotta say @EDisch222 is my rock and I probably wouldn't be where I am without him. :> (Thank you for always being there for me edu.) I am excited for all the new friends and experiences I have to look forward to in the future.

Thanks for sharing, 2020 certainly took a toll on a lot of people, and I’m sure 2021 is still beating us up too. It’s great you were able to turn negative experience into a learning one. Everyday we can get better and better, baby steps!

 

[Divine]

Most of 2020-2021 has been pretty rough for me and many people alike. I've obviously had some happy moments in that period of time but a majority of the time during then I was going through a lot of mental health issues that I'm still working on. Went to the hospital at the beginning of June 2021 for my mental health issues, if I had to label a moment where I was at my lowest it may be right there, I've never felt more helpless and confused as to why my heart and mind feels the way it does. Unfortunately that's something that I fear I may never understand, I just wish my mind/body would allow me to accept help from other people when they offer but there's nothing in me that wants help.

Mental health is extremely important, please make sure you take care of it. If anyone reading this ever wants to talk about anything with a stranger or a friend I'm usually available to talk just message me on discord.

 

[ghost]

idk now

 

[Damon]

idk now

mood

 

[Luna]

I'm a fairly open person, so for anyone that wants to know how I'm doing...

6 Years ago. I was jobless, broke, alone and facing eviction. I had nothing and nowhere to go. Then I met someone who would go on to become my best friend and later my fiancee. She pulled me out of that dark pit and showed me that life is worth living. I truly feel that she saved my life. For years I've spent all my time, effort and energy trying to repay that kindness as she was now in a similar place to where I was. Things happened and we're no longer together in a romantic relationship but I still think of her as my best friend.

However, recently she has decided that it's best for her health to disconnect from everything for a while and now I have 0 contact with this person that, up until now, I hadn't realized just how dependent on them I was. Due to medical bills I'm broke again <$100 in my bank account. I have no idea how I'm going to pay the rest of my bills coming up in a couple weeks. I have no idea how I'm going to pick myself up again. At least I still have a job but I haven't worked in a while and don't go back to work for about 2 more weeks and won't see a paycheck for at least 2 weeks longer after that. I still have to make car payments and without income I'll lose the car which means I'll lose the job.

So, in summary, just like 6 years ago, I'm broke, alone and potentially will be jobless and may face eviction all over again. I feel like almost all the good over the last 6 years has been undone and I don't see a way out. So just like 6 years ago, I'm at the lowest point all over again.

I have to keep living and moving on though, it's what she would want.

 

[baloo]

March 13, 2020.

Not because of the beginning of the pandemic. But because that day I lost my baby.
On that day, my wife was not feeling well, so she got an appointment with her OB, and after a routine ultrasound, we couldn't hear our baby's heart anymore.
That same heart we heard a couple weeks before running like hell at 159bpm, that same little heart had stop.

She called for me to pick her up at her doctor, we had to go to the hospital for a second exam.
I picked her up, she was destroyed, and we got to the hospital and there I could attend the ultrasound. Because, well, the operator must have missed something, that could not happen, baby should still be there. I knew he was still there.
So we got in the exam room, and we waited, to hear that same heart beat again. Only to hear the silence. That felt like an eternity.

That day, a piece of my wife and I died with our baby.

The next couple months were pretty low. I'm still emotional writing about it.

Today I'm the happiest father of a little girl, but still. I still miss my little boy.

If you read this, if that happens to you (and that's not so uncommon, just no one talks about it), please share. I know a little about what you feel, and I'd be happy to hug you or be there to listen to you if you need it.

 

[MaryvaleAlt]

I had to make an edit to share this because I wasn't really sure whether I was willing to share this much. Prior to march of 2021, in October 2020 my dad had just died of an opioid overdose unexpectedly and I found him in his room and thought he was asleep. I was supposed to give him keys to a box truck with a gutter machine for work that day and so I went to go wake him up and that's when I realized he wasn't waking up. My freshman year of highschool they certified me for basic medical and chest compression exercise. I felt for a pulse, tried everything I could after yelling for my mom and within 15 minutes my dad was out of the house in a bag in a stretcher. It was already too late. I couldn't eat, and it was hard to even drink. I didn't even want to take care of myself.

I quit doing school completely while we were remote, didn't post my attendance, didn't attend zoom and didn't turn not one assignment in for months. As far as I was concerned, my life was over now.

In march of 2021, I was still dealing with an acid problem where I was taking acid nearly everyday, often multiple times in a day and at school and never getting enough sleep. I would drive on acid, eat on acid, and on occasion, sleep on acid. One night in particular I had just been broken up with by my girlfriend of two years and I was pretty heartbroken by it because she was my highschool sweetheart and I didn't have anyone else at that time. I went for a night drive with the wrong friends, of course on acid, but this night was rainy and it started to get really hard to see and I did not have functioning headlights and my high beams were so broken that I had to hold it forward for them to be on.

Long story short, I went down backroads and eventually missed a turn right when the road ended and I found my way onto train tracks. There were two sets of tracks, one to the left and one to the right just about a foot over. My car is on the one to the left when facing the train tracks. I have six people in the car total, two people in the passenger seat and three in the back seat of my car.

First thing we hear is the sound of a train, and this is when survival mode kicks in. I turn off the car, throw my acid into the woods and make sure all of my friends are out of the car and that they are okay as we just hit traintracks at high speeds and it lifted my car off the ground. Had anything gone any differently none of us would be alive. One ladder hanging off the train that was passing by would have hit my car and sent it down a hill and into the woods, totaling it. So many things could have went much worse but someone was watching over me.

I called the cops and within about 20 minutes, there was about 7 cop cars, an EMS and a fire truck on scene. I was brought in for questioning but released without further incident with no DUI. I got extremely lucky, learned a life lesson and take things way more seriously now. My friends learned not to let me drive.

TL;DR - Avoid drugs and if you do have a problem, please don't drive under the influence for your own safety and the safety of others. You may think you're a superhero but we're all flesh and bone and things like this can happen.

---

Today, I haven't done this well in a long time. I'm back in school for my final year and I'm on track to graduate. I have a part time job and when I'm not working that job I'm with my new beautiful girlfriend who has become a real companion of mine. I make it a point for myself that everyday I try to improve my life bit by bit, starting with my room and ending with my organization skills, speaking skills, and math skills.

Always here to talk or even just listen, no matter who you are. I love all of you and have nothing but respect, you guys have come so far and it's so hard sometimes but it shows how brave you are. Thanks for sticking around, without some wonderful people this community wouldn't be what it is and it does a lot for me to be able to come here and just talk with people and it helped to vent and share my experiences and I didn't expect it to feel so good to just let it go.

Thanks for reading and for the opportunity to talk about my experience.

 

[Luna]

Well that settles it. With the news I got today, this time in my life is now tied with the lowest point in my life 6 years ago

 

[Luffy]

my lowest point was when covid started in 2020, i started battling with depression and well fast foward till today nothing really has changed, still an on going fight, that i struggle with everyday, just glad im still here in ego

 

[anas]

we livin it right now. put a smile, play video games ig

 

[Immaculate]

My mother passed away of Covid this past February. She was on dialysis and I had been her caretaker for the last 2 years after losing my stepdad to cancer in 2019. I'm now the caretaker for my disabled brother who was being taken care of by my aunt who passed away of a heart attack in August 2020. I'm also in a legal battle with a greedy aunt who I haven't seen in decades over money and property. Just a lot going on so close together.

I'm in the midst of my lowest time. My mom was my compass that kept me in the right direction. She was the only one in my life who could reach me like no other and now I feel rudderless. I'm fighting to stay motivated in life. I'm struggling but am moving forward because I have no choice for my brother's sake. eGO and the server has been one of my outlets to occupy my mind and I am very grateful. Covid has created the wrong time for isolation for me. I know it's too soon to expect to get completely past all of this so I'm just taking it one day at a time.

Right now this is my darkest place. I look forward to better days.

 

[sopheyy]

2018 (sorry for the wall).

2016 I moved in with my best friend. One I had met through gaming, played on a team with her for years and we were the BEST match. I moved with her to Copenhagen to finish my last year of high school. While living in Copenhagen I found myself a boyfriend. The one you just fall for. Fall for HARD. The only problem was that my friend and I lived in a STUDIO apartment (yes, together. yes, we shared a bed lol). It was quite hard for my boyfriend and I to see each other since he lived 2 hours away and lived with his parents at the time. Also - my friend and boyfriend HATED each other. Funny how you can be SO close with two people who despise one another.

I finally finished high school and decided to take a year off school (**** school honestly). My friend and I moved to another city cross country. We moved into a 3!!!! bedroom apartment and had an absolute blast. My boyfriend and I could finally start seeing each other despite moving further away from him. I pursued full-time streaming (and did so for a good while) and life was at its peak.

A close friend asked if she could move in with us. This friend is someone I lived in Spain with for a year, and we have all been playing in CS teams together for YEARS. Of course, we let her. We had the space, so why not cut down on rent even more by splitting it, and why not add more fun to the party?
Except it wasn't. Fun. At least for me. There is always someone who is "left out" when you're three. I was that one.

Time passed and I sucked it up. Until my first friend got into a HUGE fight with my then-boyfriend because he crossed a line with her and broke the little trust she had in him. She asked me to choose. Her (and the apartment, etc) or him. I have always been a firm believer that whoever puts you in that situation is the one to get left behind. So I chose him. Losing my two absolute BEST FRIENDS that I had been friends with for more than five years and shared quite literally everything with.

I moved in with my boyfriend. Applied for college near him. But I was sad. When I'm sad I sit at my pc and do nothing for days on end. I don't talk to anyone, I don't go out and I'm not motivated to do anything. (I can be that way when I'm happy too.. sorry future S/O lol)
A month later my mom calls me and tells me that my stepdad (who I have grown up with and has been there since I was 5) was diagnosed with cancer and probably only has a year or so to live. I was devastated and had planned to go home and visit a week or two later. Three days after the initial call I get a call in the middle of the night that he has passed away. Just a few days after he was given a year to live.
Planning to go home two days later, I get a phone call the day after.. my childhood dog has been sick for a while. My mom would be evil to keep her alive. She had to be put down before I had the chance to say goodbye.

I go home for the funeral, my boyfriend comes with.
A month later he leaves me because he felt suffocated in my sadness.

Losing my friends, stepdad, dog, and boyfriend all happened in a time span of 3 months. It completely broke me.

I reapplied to college somewhere closer to my mom's home (where I temporarily moved) and started that summer. I hate studying but I love where it'll lead me. I just got a job teaching CS and a job as head admin in a major CS league in Denmark, all while I'm finishing my last year of college.

Noone to share it with (other than my friends of course). I'm good with that. Life is pretty awesome.

 

[Architect of Life]

My mother passed away of Covid this past February. She was on dialysis and I had been her caretaker for the last 2 years after losing my stepdad to cancer in 2019. I'm now the caretaker for my disabled brother who was being taken care of by my aunt who passed away of a heart attack in August 2020. I'm also in a legal battle with a greedy aunt who I haven't seen in decades over money and property. Just a lot going on so close together.

I'm in the midst of my lowest time. My mom was my compass that kept me in the right direction. She was the only one in my life who could reach me like no other and now I feel rudderless. I'm fighting to stay motivated in life. I'm struggling but am moving forward because I have no choice for my brother's sake. eGO and the server has been one of my outlets to occupy my mind and I am very grateful. Covid has created the wrong time for isolation for me. I know it's too soon to expect to get completely past all of this so I'm just taking it one day at a time.

Right now this is my darkest place. I look forward to better days.

You can make it though this. We believe in you.

 

[Damon]

Not usually open with this type of stuff but figured I'd give it a shot

Been battling with a lot of mental health issues since the start of 2020. Was hit with some pretty heavy depression that made it hard for me to keep my head above water a lot of days. My anxiety started to get really bad to the point where I was having a panic attack every other day, had to get medicated for that to help with all the aching I was feeling around my body from the constant anxiety. Somewhere along the way I developed a bipolar disorder that I still have trouble controlling, put a lot of people close to me in some tough spots because of that. I was in a very bad state of mind, I made a lot of life mistakes, hurt a lot of people including myself, and lost a lot of friends because of it. I appreciate the few people that have stuck with me through it all though, they make it worth getting up regardless of how hard it is some days.

Nearly 2 years later and I'm still struggling with all these, I still make mistakes and my mental health still isn't the best, but I'm doing a lot better then I was. As sucky as life can be all anyone can do is keep moving forward hoping for something better.

 

[onlyFrost]

tbh lowest point in life for me means when you're trying to understand X as to why Y, I've tried to understand repetition and why how come we invented this word ''Life, live, existence, transparent'' I was an elder soul in a young body, as I got thrown on streets bc my mom was a drug addict and my dad a drinker who in all that fuzziness left her, maybe he got the wrong house and thought you know, ahaha. Is possible at how his personality was. In my country there's 0 support for homelessness, no voluntaries and I was lucky enough to find my way outta the rabbit hole by working as a maid at someone house who got me and from up there since I've got my ID's and social number, I went and rented a 1 room apartament, got a temporary relationship and then moved on bc otherwise the universe will do it for you. This being said, I've tried to understand how amazing is to be when you look up in the sky and see all those gas giants and what not and you got 3 and 3 bc u say to things in ''life'', 99 of planet eats rice with chicken every night you know, sauce is the secret to keeping up with variation. It took me 2yrs to accept that this is all humanity can and will ever do, this until musk take us into his custody.

 

[Buster]

I got the amazing opportunity to watch my girlfriends father die of a heart attack in front of her at their competition (like a father daughter dance, but lifting hundreds of pounds). The entire hour long span of time this event went down I got to be the asshole who told her he was going to be fine. The last thing I said to her before it was official was that he owes us all a big hug after this is all over. Once the doctors walked in, I got watch my girlfriends entire life unravel in the span of 30 seconds and lost my second father.

Afterwords the only thing I really wanted to do was hang out with her and make sure she was ok, everything else seemed like a waste of time. I started failing classes and was just barely able to graduate. It's been nearly 5 months and its still just weird. Still doesn't seem right.

 

[Thorium]

which also happens to be @Thorium’s birthday

aye thanks for the shout chief

Just basically erase 2017 and 2020 for me.
We good past that

 

[Hero]

early 2021 and mid 2017.

i'll start with 2017.

It all started when I was 12. I was slightly overweight and unhappy with my appearance. I was a rude little shit but, i was the popular kid at the time. we took a vacation and then, the shit hit the fan. my brother was diagnosed with Leukaemia (A type of cancer affecting your immune system.) I had a minute understanding of what cancer was. I thought, oh it wont be too bad. Its like pneumonia right? wrong, my mom and my brother were gone for a day, day became a week, weeks became months.

then finally, my brother and mother came home, in that time where they were gone: my dad hit rock bottom. He was burdened with the fact that my brother had cancer. He didn't beat me or drink, but he was aggressive. And of course! To top the cake. In 2019. The Immunol suppressants failed. Meaning: My brother, would still be having cancer, for the next 2 years. (Until 2021)

Early 2021:
My brother is still taking his meds, and I'm in a rough spot already. Throughout 2020, life had been shit. I had just moved away from the US when coronavirus started, meaning no friends, no outdoors, high risk family, loneliness. ugh, annoying to think about. All was alright early 2021, until well. my best friends dad died. and he took it out on me. then i argued with him. now he has me blocked, even to this day.

I had to talk to my friend from 2016 because of how i was feeling. I'm not gay (im not saying being gay is a bad thing.), my best friend meant a lot to me, especially because he got me through 2020.

idk really, emotions are weird.