Some Chuck Norris

D

Daria

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Jun 23, 2008
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Just downloading some music so I killed time....

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.

According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

When Chuck Norris speaks, everyone listens... and dies

They once tried to make a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take crap from anybody.

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
 
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Oh really?
Go to Google and Type 'find Chuck Norris' (without the ') and click I'm Feeling Lucky.

Good Luck. :)
 
"chuck norris died ten years ago, but the grim reaper cant find the courage to tell him"

theres a problem with that.

chuck norris cant die!

and, a well known fact: the boogeyman searches his closet for chuck norris before going to bed.

Chuck Norris' tears are the cure for cancer. The only problem is he never cries.
 
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Just a few I thought I'd add.;)

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
 
OK here's the thing


Chuck Norris is sooo strong,
when he was denied a Egg Mc-Muffin at McDonald's, He round house kicked the place so hard, it turned into a Wendy's!
 
Chuck Norris decided to remake the gaming world so he roundhouse kicked a server and started Edge Gamers!!
 
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Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
 
Chuck Norris can divide by 0.

Chuck norris can gargle peanut butter <------ one of my favs:) So simple, random, and hilarious!
 
Lulz I love 'Will it Blend'

Chuck Norris did in fact build Rome in a day.

If a tree falls in the forest and nobodies around to hear it, does it make a sound? Yes. Chuck Norris here's it. Chuck Norris hears everything.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Chuck Norris can taste lies.

Chuck Norris' pulse is measured on the richter scale.

Chuck Norris was in a knife fight. The knife lost.

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one dared to question his motives.

Chuck Norris let the dogs out.

Enough? I got more, I could on for hours :D
 
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