EjeMag: The New CAL Season

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eje007

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As this years CAL season approaches, I decided to try and snag an interview with the celebrity icons of CAL that frequent eGO.

The head of the CAL team was difficult to get a hold of, and even rudely told me off despite my politeness.

eje007: Excuse me, V. Do you have time for an interview with EjeMagazine about the next CAL season?
= -V- #ccL: homework
-V- #ccL: no
eje007: Perhapse some other time?
-V- #ccL is now Offline.

I tried to contact other members, with equally rude responses.

eje007: Excuse me, Oldie. Do you have time for a interview with EjeMagazine about the next CAL season?
Oldie #ccL [CS:S] is now Offline.

eje007: Excuse me, Dr. Death, do you have time for an interview with EjeMagazine about the next season of CAL?
Dr. Death: STFU

Finally I got an interview with CAL's oldest (and don't mistake that for meaning he's been in #ccL the longest) member, Zoomer.

I asked him what he and other CAL members are doing to practice for the upcoming season. "uhh... nonstop playing," seems to be a good strategy. Though being #ccL's oldest member has some risks and side effects. Surely Zoomer is a good player, but with all his ages of wisdom come at the cost of arthritis and osteoporosis. Along with back problems from sitting down too long. But Zoomer is still a valued member of the team.

Despite the almost tangible anxiety we can feel in the air for the fans to wait for the season to start Zoomer is not excited, merely in a state of calm anticipation and expectancy to win. Also a little confused and deranged. He plans to go to Disneyland if #ccL wins the super tournament thing.

And that ended my interview with Zoomer, as his hearing aid batteries died out and he could no longer understand anything softer then a Boeing 777 taking off right behind him.

Stay tuned, and I'll hopefully get around to interviewing Dr. Death or Oldie. Maybe even -V-, if he ever finishes his homework and cleans his room like his mother tells him to.
 
Last edited:
eje007: Excuse me, Dr. Death, do you have time for an interview with EjeMagazine about the next season of CAL?
Dr. Death: STFU

Win.
 
I don't know why I wasn't asked for comment, I clearly have a .000000000000001% chance of being CAL, so it'd be best to preemptively interview me I think.
 
Article 2

Tea with -V-

So after the obvious glares and clear avoidance of me, I finally got to sit down with -V-, who was eager and seething with jealous of the attention Zoomer was getting. One of the questions hot on my tongue was an inquiry about the very disrespectful responses I got from Dr. Death, Oldie, and even -V-.

But before we get to my personal offended feelings here's a bit about -V-. He is the #ccL CAL team leader. He says his main job is to inspire the troops. But enough about this loser -V- guy. I want to know why half the CAL team is being large jerks to me.

Now I know EVERYONE is a jerk to me. I don't wear the pants in any relationship. But you would think a writer for such a pristine mag such as EjeMag (with notable authors and poets such as Eje) would get better treatment. Apparently #ccL doesn't care about their public image.

eje007: Yes, that Dr. Death is quite a character. I'm sure your familiar with my first article. Dr. was rather rude. Is that a kind of behavior you support?
-V- #ccL: No I do not
-V- #ccL: In fact, I have scolded him about this.

So at first I got the impression that Dr. Death was the wild uncontrollable type, such as Kobe Bryant or Bret Farve. Dr. Death is the type of talent that they need, but is such a loose cannon its barely worth it. But then I got a different impression as the #ccL team leader turned on me, himself.


eje007: How can we aspire to be an hero like you?
-V- #ccL: You can't.

Then later in the interview...

-V- #ccL: I dont really care
-V- #ccL: So
-V- #ccL: GET ON WITH IT

And the unbelievable part is they are this way to each other.

-V- #ccL: Old man zoomers breath would stink

So foul and horrible to each other, how they can function as a team is beyond me. It appears that I am uncovering that with skill at CS:S there is a sacrifice. Its becoming apparent that to be good at Counter Strike, one must look inside himself/herself and pull out the dirtiest, meanest, and grumpy part of your inner self. The kind that is usually reserved for later years in your life when your old, and sit on your porch with a rifle and yell at kids in your lawn.

I await my next appointment with Oldie to see if my theorem about the correlation between pulling out the cranky grandpa in you and CS:S ability is correct.
 
I have also intervewed Eje, our latest CAL minsterl

-V- #ccL: Hey Eje
eje007: SHUT UP, STOP BOTHERING ME!!!!

So you see, the true nature of Eje.
 
-V- said:
I have also intervewed Eje, our latest CAL minsterl

-V- #ccL: Hey Eje
eje007: SHUT UP, STOP BOTHERING ME!!!!

So you see, the true nature of Eje.
Click to expand...



That is blatant slanderous filth. I'm not even on CAL. Though if I were, I would think I would be cranky and mean like that, since thats what true CAL skills are about.

To answer some of your questions, though, such as Rogue's, you don't subscribe to EjeMag, it's a free e-Mag that will post periodicals for the viewing pleasure of these forums goers.
 
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