Intelligence

[Doomcat]

Welps, i was playing Turbine yesturday and i wondered "hey what IS the intel anyway" so i would like to know what everyone thinks it is, above is all the options i can think of (right now) click "other" and post what you think it might be it its not up there

personally i always like to think its a pie recipe

 

[sokO]

Launch codes! Look at all the missiles you see on the maps. Not to mention every map has some type of base/servers inside the closed off rooms.

 

[HardHat]

I voted other...probably has all the lines that the Pyro mumbles under his gas mask.

 

[Mjolnir]

I also vote for launch codes.

 

[Acuturbo]

A map to enlightenment. We're playing secret militant Buddhists.

 

[b0bfath3r]

Its obviously a tie to portal, thus it has to be the cake!


It could fit in the brief case, you would just have to lose the candle.

 

[Captain Ashton]

I think it could be the team's personal details, Like the Red Engi's phone number, or the Blu scout's home adress.

 

[yuziirvine]

I think is the launch codes.

 

[DisastaMasta]

It can't be anything too importat since it's FALLING OUT OF THE CASE ALL THE FREEKING TIME!

 

[AWPerator]

Programing files for Duke Nukem Forever.

 

[Con]

Launch codes for the satellite tower in gravelpit to program the missles in Dustbowl.

 

[Vandall]

meh, could just be nonsense. Like random drawings of everday stuff

 

[Dare]

Recipes to the cake.

 

[Legend]

It contains the meaning of life.

 

[LoL Pirate]

its the cake, its where GLaDoS hid it.

 

[CharlieMac]

Actually it is a picture of the pyro with no mask on, thus answering the never ending question of is the pyro male or female.

 

[Dreadmaker]

This question was addressed and finalized by myself and a few astute players in CTF_Well a while ago.

It is to be noted that the briefcase neither floats nor sinks in water. when dropped in water, it remains at the exact same co-ordinate as it was when the person carrying it was exploded/shot/gunned down/boinked.

Thus, it can be deduced that the briefcase contains water. This would keep it in equilibrium within water.

Now, some of you will argue: 'But Dreadmaker, there are papers falling out the back of it as you run with it! how is it possible that it's water?'. I will reply to this :

"ah yes, young one. you have yet to learn the dynamics of the 'red herring'. You see, oh disciple, Graphic programmers have a problem, as it is somewhat difficult to depict 'leaks', or water droplets within a level. This requires a whole separate level of collision detection that nobody actually wants to tackle. Thus, they said, "let's get paper coming out the back, it will look like intelligence!" but really, they are hiding the truth.'

For you see, Water IS intelligence. True intelligence is fluid, with the ability to change and fit it's container, to escape effectively, to adapt to it's situation. Thus, water is a clear metaphor for intelligence. When the wayward scout is finally to open said intelligence, he will see the water, and realize it's significance. He will then lay his arms down, and embrace the other team in his new found enlightenment. The metaphorical value of water isn't particularly apparent UNTIL it is labeled in a case, somewhat ironically, called 'intelligence'.


So there you have it. The definitive answer.

 

[=[Ga]= AutoDMC]

I'd hate to disagree with my esteemed colleague Dreadmaker, but the case cannot contain 100% water unless you assume that the case itself is made buoyant materials like foam. To me the case seems to be made of plastic or at least metal, meaning that if water is the payload, the case will need to be at least partially air to make the case neutrally buoyant.

If, however, this was the case, we'd see the case moving around on the ground as the water inside sloshes. We'd also notice a drunken waver in any character as they move, with the water sloshing about. Finally, the case, if full of water, would be quite heavy; 20-30 lbs. However, the Scout can still double jump with one strapped to his back.

It's quite obvious that the intel is nothing but a flag to be carried; the same companies who can build giant rockets and bomb carts, portable mini guns and cloaking devices can't figure out how to move a briefcase on the ground if it's the same color as you are?

Also, both teams use the exact same technologies, and the exact same uniforms, differing only in color.

As a final piece of evidence, both RED and BLU are run by the same insane female CEO. You can hear her over the loudspeakers in both camps, signalling to both teams. Elated and angry with both teams at the same time. And, in fact, in larger maps you can hear her quite happily cackling as each team kills the other one.

No, I believe that both Reliable Excavation and Demolition, and Builders League United are both corporate fronts for a larger and more sinister corporation, run by a meglomaniac who enjoys the destruction and death of war, therefore pitting her two corporate fronts into endless unendable war against each other powered by vast clone armies with futuristic technology.

I think the brief case is nothing but air, a blank paper vending machine, and a glitter dispenser, designed to be nothing but a football in an endless battle.

 

[PotatoCannon]

....a giant cat

 

[JoHoN69]

launch codes