Beat my fail...

I pulled a muscle in my leg by sitting. Several people in vent remember this. Then by them harassing me and making me laugh, I hurt it more to the point of it snapping back into place (or however pulled muscles fix themselves).
 
When i was younger, i heard about mike tyson chewing off some guy's ear, so before i went to sleep at night i would check under my bed for mike tyson. In my mom's car, i would stay away from windows because i was afraid tyson would run up beside me, smash the window, and bite my ear off.

seriously.

I love this.
 
alright time for a list...

When I was 6 I was riding my bike down the sidewalk swerving back and forth, cut it a little too hard and knocked myself unconscious on the cement...

When I was 8 my family were out at the fourth of july celebration and it was over 100 degrees so everyone was dipping their feet in the friendship shell (a little fountain with a big arch and lights) so I started wading around... stepped on an underwater electrical wire and was fried... literally died from that one and the paramedics had to bring me back... spent the rest of the night in shcok in a sweatsuit nad covered by three blankets... but I watched the fireworks...

When I was 10 or 11, I was out with some friends in their backyard, and the one kid asked for the hammer so I tossed it to him... hit him square in teh head and split it open...

Last summer, I was working at Taco Bell, we were busy and as I was headed back in the shop for something I took a corner too sharp and cracked my head on the dish rack... gave myself a concussion...

A couple years ago, I was working as an intern in a design shop, I was finishing a part int eh sandblaster, and when I popped the latch it popped me back... broke my thumb and ruined my dream run at making the PBA tour...

Four years ago, I was headed out to a girls place I was dating in the winter, took my car around a corner and hit the brakes (stupid move I know) lost control of my show car and took it straight through a barbed wire fence... that kinda hurt the custom paint job a bit...

When I was 12 or 13 I me and my friends were smoking, and we lit our smokes off of the stove... I was the only one not smart enough to light it from the side, and bent straight over the flame... singed my eyebrows off and the front part of my hairline...

in HS me and a friend were hanging out, and I was playing with a lighter, I sparked it near his armpit, and lit him on fire... note to self, deodorant is flammable...

That same year (as the one right above) we had the bright idea to get drunk off of mouthwash... I was passed out in a spare bed (a bunk bed above a desk), and woke up to throw up, puked off the side of the bed, and tried to get out of the bed, slipped on the puke covered desk and fell 6 feet to the stone floor... luckily I didn't feel a thing and the puke was minty fresh...
 
i had just spent 2K on a new alto sax when I brought it home and opened the case. I pulled it out and the thing split in half. I stood there staring at my piece of fail for a good 5 minutes.
 
When i was about 6 or 7, i received my first bike. what a day, as most know, its tough riding those things at first, but i worked out the kinks. Anyways, i was going fairly fast down a rather steep hill and low an behold a car turned the corner of the street just as i hit the bottom of the hill. My bike went half way into the front of the car an i flew over and cleared the entire car. I believe i got a concussion an was out for about 4 or 5 days after that. or at least thats what i remember. XD

Oh, yes another one.. got home from a family trip to Maryland. We were quietly struggling our way out of the airplane an when it was finally our time to depart the crowded sardine can, i turned the wrong way.. an fell down the steep stairs they have set up. Of course i took some people with me, the more the merrier! broke my foot and injured about 4 people. yay me!

Side note: While back in Maryland, at my cousin's place, i was impatiently waiting for my mother to arrive to pick me up to the air port.. for some reason my foot hurt the whole way home! Come to find out, i wore out my foot bone from pacing back an forth at my cousin's house and broke my foot.. again. I was not to thrilled to hear such news.
 
Ran headlong into a doorway, only to be stopped by plate glass that I'm almost positive wasn't there a moment before.
 
Just yesterday I locked myself in the toilet, and couldnt get the thing back open. I tried looking out the window to see if I could jump, nope. I tried prying the door open with a bog brush, didnt work. Eventually my dad had to break through the door with a sledgehammer.
 
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