My Essay - :D

Status
Not open for further replies.

R. Kitten

Active Member
Joined
Feb 13, 2009
Messages
298
My essay about the book "Night of the Dragon". Yes, World of Warcraft. I changed the ending, i tried my best. :-)
IMO this is a bit fail. But i cant write THAT good.
The Dragon?s Might
By Jack Adams
Heidelberg Middle School, 8th Grade


As Krasus walked into the dark cave, a shock went through his body. With Iridi the Draenei priestess behind him, he had much to worry about. As the mighty red dragon ? currently in his elf form ? explored the dreaded place, known as Grim Batol, he heard roars of great evil up yonder. Krasus was fairly weak after his long and painful journey from Delran, the Draenei capital. Even though he was an Aspect (those of the blessed and honored), the essence of life, and the peace-keeper of Azaroth, he couldn?t gain the strength to battle whatever lies at the end of the tunnel. Iridi was ready for combat, but did not summon her staff due to the fact the blood elf Zanderin had powers to thief the staff from a distance. Narru ? source of the powerful tool, also spells and fighting skills ? was with the Draenei from her birth, and she has been trained to control its power and use it to the maximum. ?Iridi, get ready. I see the end. Let?s just hope we find the nether dragon rather than Zanderin. ?Said Krasus in a whispering voice. ? I know this won?t be easy, but we have to try hard. ?
The pair entered a room, but could not see. The room was as dark as the blood elf?s evil heart. Using some of his last mana (the fuel of magic), Krasus casted a fire spell on a nearby wooden stick. Light filled the room. Suddenly, the pair froze, completely still as if dead. It was the corpse of the nether dragon. ?NO! This cannot be! We are too late! This means only one thing? Zanderin has drained all of the dragon?s magic... There must be something feeding upon this. That could explain the numerous roars we heard down the cave. ?He cried out. ? Iridi, summon your staff. We must track the other staff, and find the dreaded blood elf. ?Moments later, a sort of long stick appeared in the priestess?s hand, smooth as a high elf?s voice, with a glowing gem at the top of it. The staff had much power in it, sensed Krasus. He always wondered what Narru?s power was like. ?Let?s get going! ? Krasus shouted. The pair ran towards a door, hoping to lead them to the captured high elf, Verssa. Out of nowhere, came down a skylard ? Half dwarf, half beast, but whole evil ? with the blood elf on its back. ?Zanderin! You have no right to exist! I shall destroy you once and for all! ?Yelled the angry red dragon. ? Fool! Grim Batol and all its wonders are mine, you shall never destroy me. With my new pet, I am indestructible! Not even my sister, Verssa, can do anything about it. Matter of fact, she can?t do anything at all!? Zanderin laughed. ? That?s what you think, brother. You are a traitor of the night elf, and I shall end your foul ways. ?Kraus and Iridi both looked to where the voice came from. They saw a ranger, with silver hair and leather armor. It was Verssa Windrunner. ?Verssa! How did you escape? No matter, I can destroy you three without a single blood dropped from me. ?Without another moment to spare, the ranger pulled out her bow and arrow, also checking on her sword. The sword was blessed with magic; her husband Rohnin the mage did that.

Krasus casted an enlighten spell on all the party members, granting them a weak but effective shield. Iridi made her first move, striking with strong and accurate blows using techniques taught by Narru himself. Zanderin gave no chance of a clear shot. While she distracted the blood elf, Krasus began casting a trapping spell. The skylard was dumb enough not to care, as he thought the red dragon was using a Hearthstone to teleport back home. Verssa spotted him, and she understood what he was doing. The ranger fired 3 arrows, aiming at the skylard?s weak spot, the neck. The skylard let out a high pitched screech as her magic-infested arrows pierced the beast. It fell down, but did not parish quite that fast. It was no surprise to Verssa, as she had fought these creatures for many ages. She readied another 3 arrows, this time aiming for the head. But, before she could even release of the string, the skylard jumped at her. With quick thinking, she pulled out her sword, and sliced the skylard as if it was air. Without a sound, the skylard split and dropped to the ground. Zanderin had made a large miscalculation of his opponents, but he did not give up. Falling back, he began casting a freezing spell. As he casted, Krasus was almost ready. Iridi casted a cancelling spell, fighting magic with even more powerful magic. This gave the red dragon enough time to cast his trapping spell. The blood elf suddenly dropped dead, transforming into a small box. While being sucked into the dark hole, he gave his last words: ?It was a good battle? Hehe, I guess I under estimated you too much sis. If we are ever to cross paths again, you will be the one to parish. ? He was gone. A second later, Krasus fell to the ground. Both of the fighters rushed to his aid, but they knew that this spell costs his life. ?I am proud to fight along you both, never shall again Azaroth will fear Zanderin. Take this,? He gave them a small scroll with a glowing red aura ?give it to the queen. You will be granted an award for you heroic act, and will be honored throughout the world. I am leaving Azaroth in your hands, young ones. Please, do not let me down? It?s over. Zanderin is defeated. But with what cost? Thought Verssa. ?Let?s go Verssa, I can teleport us and Krasus?s body to Dalaran. ? Iridi raised her staff, and with the other hand began making a ball. Everything went dark, and they ended up in Dalaran.
?I understand your highness. I feel you loss, he was close to my heart as well ?Iridi said. Verssa stood, almost crying over the loss of Krasus. Alexandra frowned. She could not believe her mate and comrade has perished without even a notice of departure. ?Both of you showed much courage and bravery on this so called mission, and you have saved Azaroth from Grim Batol?s evils. I shall award you both with the War Medal, and both of you shall be most honored in Azaroth. I also insist you join the Aspects, but that is up to you. Once again, I thank you for your help. ?


 
Paragraphs dont work for some reason :(
Forgot to include word count: 1172 without headers and stuff, spaces dont count.
Time it took me to make: 56 minutes. :D
 
Last edited:
I liked it :D I wrote a story 2 days ago, 678 words, took me two hours -.-
 
That's pretty decent writing for 8th grade. I know some Seniors in my class who can't write that well.
 
Seniors?

That's pretty decent writing for 8th grade. I know some Seniors in my class who can't write that well.

Bah! I went to college with people who couldn't write this well.

Just a tip !Yoda, nothing good is ever written, it is always re-written. What this means is proofread your work. Also, be careful when using Spellcheck. You'll still need a human to check it as well. For example, you used "parish" when you meant "perish". Spellcheck will miss that, but a person will know one is a township and the other is death. Not that I'm trying to detract from your work. It's good. Couple of sentences in there made me want to call shennanigans on your claim to only be in 8th grade.
 
Haha thanks idol
Thats good to hear, i thought it was terrible lol.
58 minutes, if i would give in more time i could rewrite Night of the Dragon.
 
Wow! This is really good! You write better than most in my College English class. :D
 
Bumping my old topic, i love this essay and put some time in it. Lets get some more feedback plz
 
Great writing man! You have some talent there.
@Payne
99.9% of my Junior class can't write that well. I know I can't D:
 
Very nice piece of work you have there. Just keep revising it, that is the key to creating a good paper and think of ways you can keep everything interesting from begining to end. I am currently in english comp 2 in college and this would pass as a rough draft for a college!

Doing great, keep it up!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Latest posts

Back
Top