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Hot pockets? Pfft. There's never been anything hot in my pockets.

I have plenty of 250 year old coins in them though. I'm trying to sell them, but people keep giving me prices too high.
 
So one day a man walks up to me and says, "Hello! Would you mind if I stole all your belongings?" I replied I would infact mind since I worked hard to obtain all my items. He gave me a frown and asked please. Again I refuted, stating these were mine and he'd need to get his own things.

So he tasered me and ran away with my stuff as I crapped my pants on the sidewalk.
 
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If i had a nickel for every time a thread is wasted...id have 1 nickel

Speaking of nickels...they are worth 5 cents

Random change of subject:

Delaware has no tax...so if something is 99 cents and you give them a dollar...they give you a penny... which makes me think "who wants a penny?"
 
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I walk down the hallway <1d6:2> I fall down and break my leg <1d6:1> My leg gets infected and I cut it off <1d6:2> I slip while cutting off infected leg and cut off my other leg.
 
So after I got up and changed my clothes, I went to the police to let them know about this terrible event. They just laughed and threw me out the door, saying it was my own fault. I couldn't believe my ears, so I went to City Hall to complain but they only had the same reaction. I demanded to speak to who was in charge, but apparently raising your voice is against the rules. So two large guards "escorted" me out to doors and to the sidewalk.

Where I was tasered and left to expunge my bowels.
 
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2425121831_bb639583d8.jpg
 
Speaking of which, you'll all be happy to know that I invented a CS:S gamemode: RPS. Alltalk is turned on and everyone runs around with knives, then when they run into someone else both must call out rock, paper, or scissors. There is also an extreme mode, where they must yell rock, paper, scissors, lizard, or spock.
 
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