- Joined
- Jun 25, 2009
- Messages
- 169
Well this was something I started on the Team Fortress 2 Fort forums, it has gone on to become the number-one viewed thread of all TF2 threads, with a massive 25,000 views so far, and still going strong.
It's a satirical view of Team Fortress 2, NO logic is allowed, feel free to add in your own laws!
Due to space limitations, I am unable to post all 2000+ laws posted by other gamers and myself, below are a few I came up with.
The Original..... The Ultimate Scientific Laws of the Multiplayer Online Game Team Fortress 2...... or.... 101 Things that could go wrong in a TF 2 game.
*"Logic-Free Zone" cordon*
General laws of TF2
1. The chance of a crit increases exponentially to the importance and size of a target i.e. a soldier will tend to crit a heavy or medic more often than a demoman or pyro.
2. The lower one's health, the higher the chance of there being a pyro around the corner.
Medic laws of TF2
1. A crit rocket seeks the nearest medic
2. In a location safe from rockets, grenades, and most fire, a medic will be sniped.
3. The chance of a medic being hit by a crit increases in direct ratio with the percentage of ubercharge.
Corollary 1
A medic is at his absolute most vulnerable when he is about to ubercharge
4. in a duel between a medic and a spy, the spy has a higher chance of a facestab than normal.
5. When more than one medic is charging their uber, the chance of death increases exponentially to the number of medics.
6. A medic healing an enemy spy never dies
Spy Laws
1. Even when a spy randomly chooses a disguise, the odds are 90% that you will be using name of the first enemy you run into.
2. Spy disguises and invisibility attract flames more than usual uniform material.
3. Bullets seek the nearest cloaked spy
4. When disguised as an enemy, you will be spychecked.
Extension:
When disguised as a friendly, they'll target you first anyway
5. As a spy, when you're running up to sap a sentry gun, a teammate will run so that you, the gun, and the teammate are in a straight line, with you in the middle.
Heavy laws
1. Facestabs work 50% more often on you than any other class
2. A crit stream will start when a scout runs in and end precisely before the follow up soldier medic teams move in
3. You will run out of ammo immediately when having to face another heavy
Extension
A friendly scout will grab the nearest ammo crate.
4. The chance of being hit by a crit is higher if you're not attached to a medic
5. Upon being ubered, the chance of being blown away from your med by a sticky or a rocket increases tenfold
Soldier Laws
1. If you're unsure of an RJ, it will kill you
2. When in midair, you will fly through the fire zone of a Heavy, an SG, a sniper, or a combination of the above.
3. When you think you have a "dream spot" to snipe a sentry from, it's actually in range of the gun.
4. Crit rockets wont.
5. If you're wondering if the enemy heavy you're suppressing under rockets is still there waiting for you, he's moved into a position that will allow him to shred you once you charge.
Also, another spy law
4. Backstabs aren't
Demoman Laws
1. Stickies detonate a second too slow
2. Pipes bounce in the wrong direction
3. Heavies dodge your pipes
4. A single rocket will blast them (your sticks) all away successfully instead of scattering them too little
Pyro Laws
1. Even when ambushing a heavy from behind, he will turn around and kill you, barely surviving the flames
Engineer Laws
1. The sentry will come under attack just as you have the delay period when it upgrades.
2. In a spy free area, you will be sniped.
It's a satirical view of Team Fortress 2, NO logic is allowed, feel free to add in your own laws!
Due to space limitations, I am unable to post all 2000+ laws posted by other gamers and myself, below are a few I came up with.
The Original..... The Ultimate Scientific Laws of the Multiplayer Online Game Team Fortress 2...... or.... 101 Things that could go wrong in a TF 2 game.
*"Logic-Free Zone" cordon*
General laws of TF2
1. The chance of a crit increases exponentially to the importance and size of a target i.e. a soldier will tend to crit a heavy or medic more often than a demoman or pyro.
2. The lower one's health, the higher the chance of there being a pyro around the corner.
Medic laws of TF2
1. A crit rocket seeks the nearest medic
2. In a location safe from rockets, grenades, and most fire, a medic will be sniped.
3. The chance of a medic being hit by a crit increases in direct ratio with the percentage of ubercharge.
Corollary 1
A medic is at his absolute most vulnerable when he is about to ubercharge
4. in a duel between a medic and a spy, the spy has a higher chance of a facestab than normal.
5. When more than one medic is charging their uber, the chance of death increases exponentially to the number of medics.
6. A medic healing an enemy spy never dies
Spy Laws
1. Even when a spy randomly chooses a disguise, the odds are 90% that you will be using name of the first enemy you run into.
2. Spy disguises and invisibility attract flames more than usual uniform material.
3. Bullets seek the nearest cloaked spy
4. When disguised as an enemy, you will be spychecked.
Extension:
When disguised as a friendly, they'll target you first anyway
5. As a spy, when you're running up to sap a sentry gun, a teammate will run so that you, the gun, and the teammate are in a straight line, with you in the middle.
Heavy laws
1. Facestabs work 50% more often on you than any other class
2. A crit stream will start when a scout runs in and end precisely before the follow up soldier medic teams move in
3. You will run out of ammo immediately when having to face another heavy
Extension
A friendly scout will grab the nearest ammo crate.
4. The chance of being hit by a crit is higher if you're not attached to a medic
5. Upon being ubered, the chance of being blown away from your med by a sticky or a rocket increases tenfold
Soldier Laws
1. If you're unsure of an RJ, it will kill you
2. When in midair, you will fly through the fire zone of a Heavy, an SG, a sniper, or a combination of the above.
3. When you think you have a "dream spot" to snipe a sentry from, it's actually in range of the gun.
4. Crit rockets wont.
5. If you're wondering if the enemy heavy you're suppressing under rockets is still there waiting for you, he's moved into a position that will allow him to shred you once you charge.
Also, another spy law
4. Backstabs aren't
Demoman Laws
1. Stickies detonate a second too slow
2. Pipes bounce in the wrong direction
3. Heavies dodge your pipes
4. A single rocket will blast them (your sticks) all away successfully instead of scattering them too little
Pyro Laws
1. Even when ambushing a heavy from behind, he will turn around and kill you, barely surviving the flames
Engineer Laws
1. The sentry will come under attack just as you have the delay period when it upgrades.
2. In a spy free area, you will be sniped.
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