The Ultimate Scientific Laws of the Multiplayer Online Game Team Fortress 2...
- Thread starter firestrike24
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Sniper law: Razorback attracts spys because they like the pretty fire works when they break the shield
demoman law, even though you are killing every player in sight, a spy will come popping out of nowhere, meatshielding you from your escape route, causing you to waste seconds to escape the huge crowd of enemy players who will come around the corner, and even then, you will be critted to death.
Medic: everyone will take the healthpack in front of you, there is no exception.
General rule: the higher you get in the rankings, the higher will be the percentage that you will receive a crit which will end your life.
Medic: everyone will take the healthpack in front of you, there is no exception.
General rule: the higher you get in the rankings, the higher will be the percentage that you will receive a crit which will end your life.
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Spy Law: You will randomly burst into flame even when there is no pyros around.
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- Jun 25, 2009
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should'nt this be in the forum games section? i can see this going on for a while
Hm... but this is TF2 linked, you can create a link there if you want.
It went on in TF2F Gen discussion, it's still regularly updated at every major class update for the quarterly lampooning of TF2's dumb luck.
Unsurprisingly, a lot of the fun is poked at crits
^ yeah its TF2 related but its still more of a forum game...anyway its still an awesome game 
spy law:
if you use the ambassador anyone you fight will be some professional headshot avoiding nightmare, if you use the revolver the person will run streight at you but somehow the revolvers accuracy will decrease tenfold and no bullets will hit them
extention
if you get a crit it will fly off in the opposite direction of the enemy and do absolutely NOTHING
general law: if your on fire and running towards a healthkit, 10 health away from death, that one annoying scout on your team will pick it up right in front of you when he has 100 health
spy law (again): when useing the cloak and dagger you will accidentally run out of cloak when rounding a corner on 3 pyros, when useing the dead ringer you can survive one pyro only to decloak into a FaN scout, when useing the regular cloaking device you will use ALL your cloak to get into a nice spot but some scout who decided he's not going the direction he likes will see you and beat you into a pulp, depressing is'nt it?
spy law:
if you use the ambassador anyone you fight will be some professional headshot avoiding nightmare, if you use the revolver the person will run streight at you but somehow the revolvers accuracy will decrease tenfold and no bullets will hit them
extention
if you get a crit it will fly off in the opposite direction of the enemy and do absolutely NOTHING
general law: if your on fire and running towards a healthkit, 10 health away from death, that one annoying scout on your team will pick it up right in front of you when he has 100 health
spy law (again): when useing the cloak and dagger you will accidentally run out of cloak when rounding a corner on 3 pyros, when useing the dead ringer you can survive one pyro only to decloak into a FaN scout, when useing the regular cloaking device you will use ALL your cloak to get into a nice spot but some scout who decided he's not going the direction he likes will see you and beat you into a pulp, depressing is'nt it?
General Law
Let the Pyro have her space
And don't pop her personal space bubble
Pyro Law
You will be amazed that all other pyros are better than you and you will die
Medic Law
Dying is bad
Heavy Law
Scouts are like flies, they are attracted to the light and you can't kill them
Snipers have Head Seekers for your dome.
Solider Law
You will always need more ammo
Every Crit you shoot will miss
Pyros without backburner are annoying
Spy Law
Camping in Arena just to make everyone wait is bad
Sniper Law
Other Snipers are your worst nightmare
In 2Fort all you are good for is killing other snipers
Also I don't think this has been started but map laws?
2Fort Law
Snipers get headshots on you when jumping off of the battlements
Spys are everywhere
Spy Checkers are everywhere
Goldrush Law
Sentries will be in the spots only you are running too
Pyros are over powered when you are trying to cap the pay load
Arena Maps Law
Pyros are everywhere
Medics won't heal you
Let the Pyro have her space
And don't pop her personal space bubble
Pyro Law
You will be amazed that all other pyros are better than you and you will die
Medic Law
Dying is bad
Heavy Law
Scouts are like flies, they are attracted to the light and you can't kill them
Snipers have Head Seekers for your dome.
Solider Law
You will always need more ammo
Every Crit you shoot will miss
Pyros without backburner are annoying
Spy Law
Camping in Arena just to make everyone wait is bad
Sniper Law
Other Snipers are your worst nightmare
In 2Fort all you are good for is killing other snipers
Also I don't think this has been started but map laws?
2Fort Law
Snipers get headshots on you when jumping off of the battlements
Spys are everywhere
Spy Checkers are everywhere
Goldrush Law
Sentries will be in the spots only you are running too
Pyros are over powered when you are trying to cap the pay load
Arena Maps Law
Pyros are everywhere
Medics won't heal you
Last edited:
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Demo Laws
- When there are a ton of enemies in front of you, your bombs will suddenly become weaker.
- You will fall to a clumsy, painful death.
- When there are a ton of enemies in front of you, your bombs will suddenly become weaker.
- You will fall to a clumsy, painful death.
spy law:
- no matter how meny spys there are people will play them, thus causeing all the other spys to be less effective from paranoia
- your tie clip on attracts the magnet on the end of the huntsman arrow heads
Scout law:
- even after playing the server for the past half hour and not seeing ONE natacha the second you go scout and the first heavy you see will be holding it
gravelpit law: when you call medic the medic always gets lost trying to find you and you die before even seeing him
- no matter how meny spys there are people will play them, thus causeing all the other spys to be less effective from paranoia
- your tie clip on attracts the magnet on the end of the huntsman arrow heads
Scout law:
- even after playing the server for the past half hour and not seeing ONE natacha the second you go scout and the first heavy you see will be holding it
gravelpit law: when you call medic the medic always gets lost trying to find you and you die before even seeing him
That's so true. Ugg. I'll get a random crit, and where does it go? To a wall, Missing them. It gets annoying
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That is sooo true. lol
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Spy Law: When you run out of Cloak and Dagger, a scout or other friendly will inevitably draw attention to wherever you are hiding.
Medic Law: If you finally charge your uber and are not killed within five seconds, you are an invincible god as long as you don't find somebody to use the uber on.
Medic Law Addendum: You'll go for a full minute without any useful classes showing up.
Medic Law Addendum Postscript: The moment you decide "screw it I'm gonna uber that Engineer" somebody will switch to Soldier and complain that you didn't save it for them.
Turbine Law: Three Engineers will all decide to place their sentries on the ledge in the cooked hallway, right next to each other.
Turbine Law Addendum: They'll never learn that sentries placed there cannot reach demomen who put their backs against the far wall.
Turbine Law Addendum Postscript: They will place their sentries close enough to the edge to be easily sapped anyway.
Dispenser Law: Dispensers are most desparately needed when you don't have 60 seconds to build one.
Dispenser Law Addendum: Engineers will always take the last bit of metal from your dispenser when you need it the most.
Dispenser Law Addendum Postscript: By the time your dispenser makes it to level 3 it's only useful as an easy point for the other team.
Scout Rush Law: Scout rushes only work once. Your team will try them every round anyway.
Spy Teleporter Law: Spies CANNOT resist sapping teleporters. Use this to your advantage to discover spies.
HLXStats Law: When your points are low, you'll only kill people with low points. When your points are high, you will only be killed by newbs who sap 25 points a kill.
TF2 Update Law: All new weapons are overpowered and cheap and must be nurfed, except for the unlocks for your favorite class that are refreshingly balanced and awesome.
Medic Blutsauger Dual Law: He who shoots his blutsauger first shall die whilst reloading.
FIRE FIRE FIRE law: There are four ways to put out a fire: (1) Medigun, (2) Medical Kit, (3) Pyro Airblast, (4) Jarate. None of these will be available if you have less than 50HP.
FIRE FIRE FIRE law Addendum: They will appear just before your killcam.
Spy Killcam Law: If a spy is in a killcam shot, he will be doing something awesome.
Ragdoll Rubbernecker Law: If a ragdoll gets cought in a strage way (foot stuck in a level decoration, arrow through a scout's right arm while doublejumping near a wall) it's good for another 5-6 kills as the gawkers stop to look.
Spray Law: Sprays with funny sayings are worth at least one gawker kill.
Spray Law Addendum: Sprays with hot girls are worth at least two gawker kills.
Spray Law Addendum Addendum: Sprays with the ::awesome:: face are worth three gawker kills.
Spray Law Postscript: "This guy is totally not a spy" works for some reason.
Spray Admin Law: You WILL die 4-5 times while trying to get a spraytrace. For some reason people don't spray bad sprays in spawn rooms or intel rooms, always next to enemy sentry guns.
Spy Cloak Law: If two cloaked spies bump into each other, both will freeze (with their cloak shimmering) hoping that the other guy hasn't noticed.
Sapper Law: If you are the spy, there is always an Engineer nearby to break the sapper. If you are the Engineer, you're always too far away to get there in time. If you're the Dead Engineer, there is never another Engineer available to remove your sapper.
Medic Law: If you finally charge your uber and are not killed within five seconds, you are an invincible god as long as you don't find somebody to use the uber on.
Medic Law Addendum: You'll go for a full minute without any useful classes showing up.
Medic Law Addendum Postscript: The moment you decide "screw it I'm gonna uber that Engineer" somebody will switch to Soldier and complain that you didn't save it for them.
Turbine Law: Three Engineers will all decide to place their sentries on the ledge in the cooked hallway, right next to each other.
Turbine Law Addendum: They'll never learn that sentries placed there cannot reach demomen who put their backs against the far wall.
Turbine Law Addendum Postscript: They will place their sentries close enough to the edge to be easily sapped anyway.
Dispenser Law: Dispensers are most desparately needed when you don't have 60 seconds to build one.
Dispenser Law Addendum: Engineers will always take the last bit of metal from your dispenser when you need it the most.
Dispenser Law Addendum Postscript: By the time your dispenser makes it to level 3 it's only useful as an easy point for the other team.
Scout Rush Law: Scout rushes only work once. Your team will try them every round anyway.
Spy Teleporter Law: Spies CANNOT resist sapping teleporters. Use this to your advantage to discover spies.
HLXStats Law: When your points are low, you'll only kill people with low points. When your points are high, you will only be killed by newbs who sap 25 points a kill.
TF2 Update Law: All new weapons are overpowered and cheap and must be nurfed, except for the unlocks for your favorite class that are refreshingly balanced and awesome.
Medic Blutsauger Dual Law: He who shoots his blutsauger first shall die whilst reloading.
FIRE FIRE FIRE law: There are four ways to put out a fire: (1) Medigun, (2) Medical Kit, (3) Pyro Airblast, (4) Jarate. None of these will be available if you have less than 50HP.
FIRE FIRE FIRE law Addendum: They will appear just before your killcam.
Spy Killcam Law: If a spy is in a killcam shot, he will be doing something awesome.
Ragdoll Rubbernecker Law: If a ragdoll gets cought in a strage way (foot stuck in a level decoration, arrow through a scout's right arm while doublejumping near a wall) it's good for another 5-6 kills as the gawkers stop to look.
Spray Law: Sprays with funny sayings are worth at least one gawker kill.
Spray Law Addendum: Sprays with hot girls are worth at least two gawker kills.
Spray Law Addendum Addendum: Sprays with the ::awesome:: face are worth three gawker kills.
Spray Law Postscript: "This guy is totally not a spy" works for some reason.
Spray Admin Law: You WILL die 4-5 times while trying to get a spraytrace. For some reason people don't spray bad sprays in spawn rooms or intel rooms, always next to enemy sentry guns.
Spy Cloak Law: If two cloaked spies bump into each other, both will freeze (with their cloak shimmering) hoping that the other guy hasn't noticed.
Sapper Law: If you are the spy, there is always an Engineer nearby to break the sapper. If you are the Engineer, you're always too far away to get there in time. If you're the Dead Engineer, there is never another Engineer available to remove your sapper.
engineer law: if you have your stuff in an unsappable spot another engineer will try to get up there with you on his own dispencer, and either get stabbed in the process and get your stuff sapped, or have a spy piggyback of the dispencer left there and kill all your stuff.
spy law: when trying to sap something you always get found out, even if your useing a enemy teleporter to get to the building
another spy law: telefrags apparently dont work on enemy teleporters, unless, of course its the enemy useing the teleporter
spy law ho!: apparently standing in the corner on top of a dispencer still means an engineer can brush against you and make you shimmer...no matter how far back you stand
medic law: yay you used your ubersaw to kill 7 people! now your gonna uber this soldier over here? but wait! this soldier apparently does'nt know what the word "invincible" means and trys to around-the-corner on the sentry *sighs* such a waste of those 7 kills
gravelpit law: even if you try to get people to go to one point they all scatter in 5 different directions in groups of 2
extention: or scout rush and cant get past 2 sentries
spy law: when trying to sap something you always get found out, even if your useing a enemy teleporter to get to the building
another spy law: telefrags apparently dont work on enemy teleporters, unless, of course its the enemy useing the teleporter
spy law ho!: apparently standing in the corner on top of a dispencer still means an engineer can brush against you and make you shimmer...no matter how far back you stand
medic law: yay you used your ubersaw to kill 7 people! now your gonna uber this soldier over here? but wait! this soldier apparently does'nt know what the word "invincible" means and trys to around-the-corner on the sentry *sighs* such a waste of those 7 kills
gravelpit law: even if you try to get people to go to one point they all scatter in 5 different directions in groups of 2
extention: or scout rush and cant get past 2 sentries
