halloween/pumkin update

I say throw this map on the Novint server and if its does well, put it on the fun server. I know I need to get that stupid limited edition hat as well as the achievements.

Anyone have any idea when this update will drop for us to actually play?
 
acefisher1 said:
I say throw this map on the Novint server and if its does well, put it on the fun server. I know I need to get that stupid limited edition hat as well as the achievements.

Anyone have any idea when this update will drop for us to actually play?
Click to expand...

Today I thought. Stuck at work though so I can't check.
 
Wow. Now I REALLY want the update. So much stuff in one day, I could die. But will Valve be on our time for once?....
 
Eh, I'll do that one last then. I dunno, we don't even know what the rest are.
 
Last edited:
Someone want to type out the text from the will page? I can't read all that, it gives me a headache...
 
Kamon said:
Someone want to type out the text from the will page? I can't read all that, it gives me a headache...
Click to expand...

I can do it, I have free time.

Here you go:

I, Zephaniah Mann, being of sound mind do hereby vow to haunt the earth as a horrifying poltergeist, until such time as I have quenched my all-consuming thirst for vengeance against the world and especially against my dunderhead sons.

If it takes a brave man to admit he is in error, then surely a man willing to admit both of his sons are stumble-bum muttonheads is twice as brave. It was they who convinced me to spend the entirety of my sizeable fortune purchasing land in the unclaimed frontier of the Americas, in the hope of expanding our weapons concern to the uncolonized westernmost regions. Many tales did they whisper in my too credulous ears, of gravel as far as the eye can see, for any man with strong back and iron spirit to harness. Long did I dream of transforming these virgin lands, and its vast holes into the world’s most majestic and profitable pits of gravel. But when at last we arrived we found only “fool’s gravel” – my nitwit sons had purchased a continent sized parcel of sand! It is here in this wind-swept desert hell that I fear I shall breathe my last.

Since moving from my Cambridgeshire estate to the untamed frontier I have contracted putrid fever, bilious fever, blackwater fever, green fever, spotted fever – even womb fever, as a complication from a serious bout of superfluous uterus. On our sailing trip to the new world I contracted white plague, marsmus, sweating sickness, deplumatious tumors of the eyelids, pleurisy, membranous croup and scarlet rash; during the drive west I contracted brain itch, stomatitus, and blood poisoning; since settling our estate I have contracted falling sickness, walking sickness, stationary sickness, shingles, jaumdiced spine and skull bloat. I contracted scrivener’s palsy in the writing of this last will & testament. Possessing no paper in this godforsaken frontier, I have penned this on my own skin which has sloughed off in quantity since contracting impetigo.

To the foul-smelling, uneducated simpletons of the untamed Americas, I leave only this curse --- as weapons have caused my downfall so will I engineer the downfall of any soul who puts one to use near my restless grave. Shoot over my bones and I shall visit upon you a haunting the likes of which you have never seen.

To my dearest maidservant Elizabeth I leave the rest and residue of my estate – including all dead, accounts, debts public and private – my tobacco plantation – and what remain of the fortune my addle-pated sons have squandered. Find the gravel that I was unable to find! Honor me by placing it inside a pit!

To my faithful aide and tracker, Barnabas Hale of the savage Australias, I divest compleat control of the Mann & Sons Munitions Concern. You procured the poppy Howers required for the medicines that gave me succor from the pains of my many waiting ailments. It has been pleasant to not shriek myself to sleep.

To my layabout brain defective sons, Blutarch and Redmond I leave the greatest curse of all – partnership. What land I have purchased in this new world is to be split evenly between you both. You have wasted your lives bickering over nothing and so I leave you dimwits something of consequence over which to feud.

Lastly to ---unreadable--- I leave the entirety of my --------unreadable---- and swear you to utmost secrecy in its keeping.

God and His angels will have to drag me screaming to Heaven. I do not want to die! Damn you all to hell!
Zephaniah Mann
 
Last edited:
Kamon said:
Someone want to type out the text from the will page? I can't read all that, it gives me a headache...
Click to expand...

I, Zephamiah Mann, being of sound mind do hereby vow to haunt the earth as a horrifying poltergeist, until such time as I have quenched my all-consuming thirst for vengeance against the world and especially against my dunderhead sons.

If it takes a brave man to admit he is in error, then surely a man willing to admit both of his sons are stumble-bum muttonheads is twice as brave. It was they who convinced me to spend the entirety of my sizeable fortune purchasing land in the unclaimed frontier of the Americas in the hope of expanding our weapons concern to the uncolonized westernmost regions. Many tales did they whisper in my too credulous ears, of gravel as far as the eyes can see, for an man with strong back and iron spirit to hardness. Long did I dream of transforming these virgin islands and its vast holes into the world’s most majestic and profitable pits of gravel. But when at last we arrived we found only “fools gravel” -- my nitwit sons has purchased a continent-sized parcel of sand! It is here in the wind-swept desert hell that I fear I shall breathe my last.

Since moving from my Cambrideshire estate to the untamed frontier I have contracted putrid fever, blackwater fever, green fever, spotted fever -- even womb fever as a complication from a serious bout of sweating sickness, deputations tumours of the eyelids, pleurisy membranes croup and scarlet rash; during the drive west I contracted brain itch, stamitus and blood poisoning; since setting our estate I have contracted falling sickness, walking sickness, stationary sickness, shingles, jaundiced spine and skull bloat. I contracted scivener’s palsy in the writing of this last will & testament. Possessing no paper in this godforsaken frontier, I have penned this on my own skin which has slaughed off in quantity since contracting impetigo.

To the foul-smelling, uneducated simpletons of the untamed Americas, I leave only this curse -- as weapons have caused my downfall so will I engineer the downfall of any soul who puts one to use near my restless grave. Shoot over my bones and I shall visit upon you a haunting the likes of which you have never seen.

To my dearest maidservant Elizabeth I leave the rest and residue of my estate - including all deeds, accounts, debts public and private - my tabacco plantation - and what remains of the fortune my addle-plated sons have squandered. Find the gravel that I was unable to find! Honor me by placing it inside a pit!

To my faithful aide and tracker, Barnabas Hale of the savage Austalias, I divest compleat control of the Mann & Sons Mumitions Concern. You procured the poppy flowers required for the medicines that gave me succar from the pains of my many waiting ailments. It has been pleasant not to shriek myself to sleep.

To my lay about, brain defective sons, Blutarch and Redmond, I leave the greatest cure of all - partnership. What land I purchased in this new world is to be split evenly between you both. You have wasted your lives bickering over nothing and so I leave you dimwits smoething of consequence over which to feud.

Lastly to, [unknown phrase - covered up] I leave the entirety of my [again covered up] and swear to you the utmost secrecy in its keeping.
God and His angels will have to drag me screaming to Heaven. I do not want to die! Damn you all to Hell!


Zephaniah Mann

Some funky diseases in there as well as grammar. Not all of it is my own doing!

And some of that I just couldn't read. O_O

EDIT: Haha, I was beaten <3 His is probably better anyhow >.>
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Legend
  • Article Article
Counter-Strike: Source Update Released 8/24/2026 - CS:S Dust2 Effected
Replies
1
Views
214
Immaculate
Immaculate
Saf
Announcement Update to the Jailbreak Rules & CS Information Center Update
Replies
0
Views
258
Saf
Saf
LukePyro
  • Article Article
CS:S Dust2 Updates
Replies
3
Views
262
Legend
Legend
masterofpuppets
  • Article Article
Team Fortress: The Complete History
Replies
4
Views
348
Legend
Legend
Saf
  • Sticky
Official eGO Minecraft Player Guide
Replies
1
Views
1K
Saf
Saf

Latest posts

Back
Top