I'm usually acting positive and look at the good side of things, but lately its been quite hard for me. School has been very difficult and I've been forced to do many things I wouldn't like to do. I've been stressing a lot about my health and have started having bursts of emotions.
I've been feeling scared of myself and I've been trying to fix everything, which is what scares me. I keep thinking I can't help myself and that I'm forever going to be unhealthy. Quarantine also pushes me away from friends and many others that I care about. I've been going through sorrow and sadness because of incidents and problems that I've been having.
I keep on trying to fix myself and after a while I started thinking that my problems were permanent. I started getting light headed or I would feel sick going to sleep thinking about everything that was going on. I would usually try and cheer myself up by hanging out with my family, watching a funny video, or hanging out with the people in eGO.
I've been overthinking all of these problems which I can fix easily overtime and writing this message helps me calm down and think about how I can make myself better. These things take time and Its hard to wait but time is an impatient thing.
I'm still trying to make myself better, but not by starving myself to lose weight, or to run for an hour straight forcing my body to use all the food. I wouldn't say its Anorexia, I would say that I was overreacting and thinking about it too hard. I started putting myself to a standard that no human could do.
I'm proud of myself for being able to get out of it and make myself better overtime. I still have a long life ahead of me and I just need to wait for things to get better.
