TF2 poetry part deux: Haikus!

s3rv0

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Apr 10, 2008
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How about some TF2 Class Haikus? Haikus, for anyone who doesn't know, are three line poems with no meter or rhyme scheme, but they must follow the 5-7-5 syllable pattern. First line has 5 syllables, second 7, third 5. That's it.

I chose to focus on the lamentations of each class. Everyone can feel free to join in with their own haikus, they're easy to make and can be wildly entertaining and funny.

Spy:

Heavy and Medic,
I want to stab them and taunt,
Fwoosh! I am on fire.

Sniper:

I see BLU heads there,
Fine aiming for headshot kill,
Huh? Blue dot on my-

Engineer:

Toiling on my gun,
Level 3, satisfaction.
A knife in my back!

Heavy:

BLU team is babies,
Sasha has fun keeling them!
Click click click, OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Medic:

Uber full. Heavy?
Where are you- BOOM! Crit rocket.
Start over again.

Soldier:

Follow me maggots!
Leading the charge on sentries,
Where did my team go?

Pyro:

Hudda hudda huh!
Aaaaah ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Hudda mrf frmf mrf!

Scout:

Carrying intel!
Just a level 1 sentry...
Sigh, dropped the intel.

Demo:

Heya there boyos!
One more drink, then to combat!
Ah! Fell off my chair!
 
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LOL. We had a pyro haiku contest in ShoutBawks about a month ago. All agreed that a proper entry would be a lot like the one you wrote: a collection of mrphfffs & huddas. I think it was ThunderPwny who managed to come up with a one-word 7-syllable middle line of all mrph with no vowels or spaces. And good times were had by all.
 
My experience with the Sandman:

I'll stop your uber!
Uh-oh! Ball completely missed...
Mowed down by Sasha.
 
I love pyro humor. I even put my hand over my mouth and do pyro imitations in real life sometimes.

Yes, I'm awesome.

Mph mrf mphu mmph mmph.

Hudda, hphuhmph.
 
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