Joke of the day.......

Did you hear about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac?

He stayed up all night wondering if there was a Dog.

facepalm.jpg
 
A new teacher thought she would use what she learned in her psychology courses. She said to her class, "Everyone who thinks they are stupid, please stand up."

After a few seconds, one boy stood. "Do you think you're stupid?" she asked.

"No, ma'am, but I just didn't want you to have to stand there all by yourself."

:O
:lol:

fail2it9.jpg
 
Last edited:
Once upon a time there was a cruise ship sailing. On board, a magician was giving a show to some passengers. The magician ALWAYS had a parrot on his shoulder. Whenever the magician told a joke, the parrot would give it away. One time the magician had a knife, he spun it around it dissappeared! The parrot said "It's in his pocket, it's in his pocket". The crowd booed him because the parrot gave it away. The next trick he did, he waved a wand around and it vanished. Again, the parrot said, "It's up his sleeve! It's up his sleeve!" The magician got mad because he couldn't keep any of his tricks secret. The parrot kept giving them away.
Then one day the cruise ship sank. The magician and the parrot managed to make it to an island where they stayed for about 3 months when the parrot, all of a sudden, burst out and asked:
"Ok, I give up! Where'd you hide the ship?"


OOO come on.....you know you want to laugh!
:P
 
drblac0 said:
Once upon a time there was a cruise ship sailing. On board, a magician was giving a show to some passengers. The magician ALWAYS had a parrot on his shoulder. Whenever the magician told a joke, the parrot would give it away. One time the magician had a knife, he spun it around it dissappeared! The parrot said "It's in his pocket, it's in his pocket". The crowd booed him because the parrot gave it away. The next trick he did, he waved a wand around and it vanished. Again, the parrot said, "It's up his sleeve! It's up his sleeve!" The magician got mad because he couldn't keep any of his tricks secret. The parrot kept giving them away.
Then one day the cruise ship sank. The magician and the parrot managed to make it to an island where they stayed for about 3 months when the parrot, all of a sudden, burst out and asked:
"Ok, I give up! Where'd you hide the ship?"


OOO come on.....you know you want to laugh!
:P
Click to expand...
I dont get it?... Is it because the parrot doesnt know where it is?
 
drblac0 said:
Once upon a time there was a cruise ship sailing. On board, a magician was giving a show to some passengers. The magician ALWAYS had a parrot on his shoulder. Whenever the magician told a joke, the parrot would give it away. One time the magician had a knife, he spun it around it dissappeared! The parrot said "It's in his pocket, it's in his pocket". The crowd booed him because the parrot gave it away. The next trick he did, he waved a wand around and it vanished. Again, the parrot said, "It's up his sleeve! It's up his sleeve!" The magician got mad because he couldn't keep any of his tricks secret. The parrot kept giving them away.
Then one day the cruise ship sank. The magician and the parrot managed to make it to an island where they stayed for about 3 months when the parrot, all of a sudden, burst out and asked:
"Ok, I give up! Where'd you hide the ship?"


OOO come on.....you know you want to laugh!
:P
Click to expand...

Not the best :(

Lance said:
So a guy walks into a bar, and says "ow".
Click to expand...

You did the impossible!
 
Team Fortress 2 Humor

A spy walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Hey, why the wrong face?"

>.>
 
-->why does lemon juice have "artificial flavors" and dishwasher soap have "real lemon flavor"

--> why do we drive in a parkway and park in a drive way (for you urban America folks out there)

--> why do we own a; phone, mp3player, camera, calender, secretary, voice recorder, and annoying beeper thingy --- when we have one thing that does all of that

--> why are compact disks bigger than the floppy disks they replaced?

--> why is there always one guy in the group who orders a burger at a steak house and complains about how bad it tastes....

--> why am i still asking questions I've looked man years for and haven't found the answer for ( ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
these are all questions I really have and have asked teachers/professors. We've had some serious debates over some others I'm not going to bring up here.
 
featherfoot07 said:
-->why does lemon juice have "artificial flavors" and dishwasher soap have "real lemon flavor"

--> why do we drive in a parkway and park in a drive way (for you urban America folks out there)

--> why do we own a; phone, mp3player, camera, calender, secretary, voice recorder, and annoying beeper thingy --- when we have one thing that does all of that

--> why are compact disks bigger than the floppy disks they replaced?

--> why is there always one guy in the group who orders a burger at a steak house and complains about how bad it tastes....

--> why am i still asking questions I've looked man years for and haven't found the answer for ( ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
these are all questions I really have and have asked teachers/professors. We've had some serious debates over some others I'm not going to bring up here.
Click to expand...

I like how you actually asked your profs jokes that have circulated the web for years and debated it!

I also have a note for you

Dear featherfoot07,

Do not question me. I am more confusing than men and women think the opposite sex are.

Sincerely, The English Language.
Click to expand...
 
Last edited:
It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement.

The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

:P
 
drblac0 said:
It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?" "Oh, just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets." "That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl. "Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with some excitement.

The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied, with more excitement. The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?" With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"

:P
Click to expand...

Animal cruelty to the puppy in a box!
 
A priest gave three nuns a day off for all their hard work. 24 hours later, the first nun came in and the priest asked, "So, what'd you do on your day-off?"

She replied, "I stole a bunch of stuff." The priest panicked and said, "Quick, drink the holy water so God can forgive you." So she did and went off.

The second nun came in, and the priest asked her, "What did you do?"

The second nun replied, "I made out with various men."

The priest panicked and demanded that she drink the holy water so God can forgive her. So she did and went off.

Then the third nun came in, laughing hysterically. The preist said, "Mmmmkay....? What did you do?"

The third nun replied, "I peed in the holy water"
 
AnotherAsian said:
A priest gave three nuns a day off for all their hard work. 24 hours later, the first nun came in and the priest asked, "So, what'd you do on your day-off?"

She replied, "I stole a bunch of stuff." The priest panicked and said, "Quick, drink the holy water so God can forgive you." So she did and went off.

The second nun came in, and the priest asked her, "What did you do?"

The second nun replied, "I made out with various men."

The priest panicked and demanded that she drink the holy water so God can forgive her. So she did and went off.

Then the third nun came in, laughing hysterically. The preist said, "Mmmmkay....? What did you do?"

The third nun replied, "I peed in the holy water"
Click to expand...




Oh Snap! Like two fangus rubbing....
That was great, had me laughing hysterically.

:lol::lol::lol:
 
AnotherAsian said:
A priest gave three nuns a day off for all their hard work. 24 hours later, the first nun came in and the priest asked, "So, what'd you do on your day-off?"

She replied, "I stole a bunch of stuff." The priest panicked and said, "Quick, drink the holy water so God can forgive you." So she did and went off.

The second nun came in, and the priest asked her, "What did you do?"

The second nun replied, "I made out with various men."

The priest panicked and demanded that she drink the holy water so God can forgive her. So she did and went off.

Then the third nun came in, laughing hysterically. The preist said, "Mmmmkay....? What did you do?"

The third nun replied, "I peed in the holy water"
Click to expand...

That doesn't even make sense...
 
Lance said:
That doesn't even make sense...
Click to expand...

Nun #3 peed in the holy water.
The same holy water that the priest had the other two nuns drink.
In forth, Nun's #1 and #2 drank a dilute solution of the excretion of nun #3
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Hero
Who do you appreciate - 2025
2 3
Replies
43
Views
4K
jii
jii
EdgeGamers
  • Article Article
Thank You Adam: Adam Resigns From Executive
Replies
10
Views
613
Adam
Adam
Saf
  • Sticky
Official eGO Minecraft Player Guide
Replies
1
Views
1K
Saf
Saf

Latest posts

Back
Top