Article ITT I attempt to review every movie I've seen.

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Title: Valhalla Rising
Year: 2009
Country of Origin: Denmark/UK
Director: Nicolas Winding Refn

Story: A Norse killing machine meets up with a group of Christian Vikings and together they go to the Holy Land...only to show up in North America where all hell breaks loose.

Review: A couple years back a friend of mine made me listen to a Black Metal album, the name of the album escapes me now. Though I still remember that Black Metal isn't really my cup of tea, but after seeing this movie I pretty much know what that album was talking about. It's dark and brutal movie that takes it's time letting the story play out. This isn't really an action film or...actually I really don't know what genre I would put this one into. I guess it's an art-house film. Anyway this one definitely isn't for all tastes or for most tastes for that matter, but I liked it...so whatever.

[7/10]
 
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Title: Zombieland
Year: 2009
Country of Origin: US
Director: Ruben Fleischer

Story: A band of likable survivors...ehh...Zombies. That's all you need to know.

Review: You know that the Zombie sub genre is near death when a movie like Zombieland is coming out. Now there is nothing wrong with Zombieland, I liked the movie...but when you get a zombie movie this self-referential you know that it's a genre that's about to kick the bucket. Thank god if you ask me, the whole Zombie thing has been way over done and frankly needs to die for a decade or two.

Oh..yeah Zombieland...we're reviewing that one. It's a pretty funny film, populated by a likable cast of characters and while at times the humor is a little off...it's usually more hit than miss.

[8/10]



* Oh apparently they're doing a sequel to this one, but I don't care about that I just want them to come out with Earth Versus Moon. Yeah, the title says it all.
 
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Title: The Hudsucker Proxy
Year: 1994
Country of Origin: US
Director: Coen brothers

Story: "You know, for kid"

Review: This is one of the weaker Coen's films. The plot follows a mail room clerk who is promoted to the position of president of Hudsucker Industries after the previous president commits suicide. The movie is done in the style of a Screwball comedy and sort of riffs the late 1950s pretty well. While it's not what I would call a great film, it's an entertaining one.

[6.5/10]
 
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Title: Casshern
Year: 2004
Country of Origin: Japan
Director: Kazuaki Kiriya

Story: I seriously have no ****ing clue.

Review: A monumental achievement in style over substance. It is as if the film becomes more incoherent as the visuals become more breathtaking. There is a lot that could be cut from this film and apparently has been for the American cut that I wish I had seen in stead of the original one. Still, this is one stunningly gorgeous film.

[5/10]
 
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Carmine said:
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow?
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way too much bloom....

Sexy Beast said:
Well I could make the argument that it was an unreasonable expectation of seeing a movie that was released last year with a microscopic release...but whatever I set you 10k because I haven't seen the 89' Punisher either.
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I could give you a review of Mystery Team if you'd like, and to be honest I haven't the the 89' Punisher, but I'm gonna see it in about a week thanks to blockbuster.
 
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Title: Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
Year: 2004
Country of Origin: US
Director: Kerry Conran

Story: Sky Captain and the Attack of the Boring

Review: In my Casshern I called it an exercise in style over substance. This movie is a lot like Casshern, except not as interesting. You see this movie is just plain dull and entirely forgettable. Seriously I forgot that this one existed until Carmine suggested it and frankly I would have been content if he hadn't.

[4/10]
 
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Title: Limelight
Year: 1952
Country of Origin: US
Director: Charlie Chaplin

Story: An aging comedian helps out a young suicidal ballerina.

Review: This film actually has a pretty interesting story to coincide with it. The film Monsieur Verdoux (Page 95) was a little too anti-capitalist for 1940s-50s America, so when Chaplin left the country to promote this movie the FBI decided to bar him from reentering the United States. He was basically exiled from the US while promoting this film. In fact this film didn't get a proper US release until the 1970s.

Now you might be asking yourself...is he actually going to get around to reviewing this damn film. Yeah, I will...I don't want to, but I will. This movie is supposedly a major classic and I can see why people would call it that, it's a great concept for a film. The only issue is that the film is so damn boring that I couldn't follow it at all. This is coming from some who actually likes Chaplin films, but I can't stand this one.

[6/10]
 
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Title: The Shooting
Year: 1966
Country of Origin: US
Director: Monte Hellman

Story: It literally takes 82 minutes for nothing to happen.

Review: This is part of a wave of revisionist westerns to come out during the 60s and 70's. There are a lot of really good westerns to come out during this period...actually read here for an explanation of why revisionist westerns happened.

Anyway, the Shooting is not a good movie. The production come off as a muddled self-absorbed exercise in taking a basic western plot and making it dull as hell. Avoid this movie.

[4/10]
 
pillar said:
hey beast, any other movies you looking forward to seeing? just curious
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Ehh...

The Other Guys (Will probably be terrible)
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
The Expendables (Looks really bad, but you know)
Machete
The Town
Buried


...and that's it through September.
 
Sexy Beast said:
Ehh...

The Other Guys (Will probably be terrible)
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
The Expendables (Looks really bad, but you know)
Machete
The Town
Buried


...and that's it through September.
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The expendables is suppose to be a explosion of testosterone
i mean Dolph Lundgren?
Steve Austin, Ahhnold, and that Couture
EPIC ESPLOSIONS
 
Blue Velvet, I haven't seen it but I'm curious about it (got it from Frank Booth's name :D)
 
Sexy Beast said:
Ehh...

The Other Guys (Will probably be terrible)
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
The Expendables (Looks really bad, but you know)
Machete
The Town
Buried


...and that's it through September.
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ya i saw a commercial 4 the scott pilgrim bit. looks like a lil rip off of kick-a** (which didnt really care for kick-a** in the 1st place). actually kinda looking forward to the expendables. heard a smidge bout machete but not nuff.
 
I don't blame you sexy, I want to see The Expendables also, I don't expect a great plot, but at least Stallone knows how to shoot an exciting action flick.
 
pillar said:
ya i saw a commercial 4 the scott pilgrim bit. looks like a lil rip off of kick-a** (which didnt really care for kick-a** in the 1st place). actually kinda looking forward to the expendables. heard a smidge bout machete but not nuff.
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Scott Pilgrim is hardly a rip-off of Kick-Ass. The only thing is that they have in common is that they were both adapted from comic books. Not to mention the film is being directed by Edgar Wright the man who directed Space, Shaun of the Dead, and Hot Fuzz. Also I know that some people put there didn't like Hot Fuzz all that much, but that was an issue in writing and not direction.


Carmine said:
I don't blame you sexy, I want to see The Expendables also, I don't expect a great plot, but at least Stallone knows how to shoot an exciting action flick.
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I'm not just worried about the plot. August is traditionally a dumping ground for mediocre/terrible movies.
 
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Title: Blue Velvet
Year: 1986
Country of Origin: US
Director: David Lynch

Story: The film begins with a young man returning to the small town where he grew up as a boy. He is happy to be back looking after his father's shop while his father is in the hospital. Everything is fine and dandy up until he finds a severed ear in a field and suddenly he realizes that the town is no where near as innocent as it appears.

Review: Alright, here is how brilliant this film is set up; in the opening scene we are shown a montage of this small town and we see that it is filled with classic Americana. At the end of the montage we are shown a perfectly manicured lawn, the camera begins to zoom in on the lawn...and keeps on zooming in. Further and further it zooms until it breaks through the blade of grass and below we are shown the chaos of insect activity that lies in the grass. It's an opening that superbly shows the theme of the film...being that behind the facade of the small town there is a seedy underbelly. A theme which Lynch carried over to and expanded upon with Twin Peaks.

I could go one for a while when talking about this film, but I'll just get right down to what you guys want to hear. This isn't the craziest Lynch film, but still one of his best works.

[8.5/10]
 
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