This season is going to make me lose all my hair...

YoSpankDawg

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Last week I regaled you all with the story of my football team's second game this season and the adventures surrounding that. Well, this week was pretty much just as eventful, though for different reasons.

For those of you who have been living under a rock, I coach defense for the local community college's football team, in the very first year of the program. We started the season 2-0 but this Sunday (yesterday) we were scheduled to take on a team called the Tacoma Knights, who surprised everybody by starting the season with a huge 35-0 upset win. Preseason rankings had us in the following order:
1. Green River
2. Columbia Basin
3. South Sound
4. Tacoma
5. EVERETT

Anyways, Sunday morning...5:30am...I get awaken by the house phone ringing nonstop until finally somebody answered it. It turns out my Aunt was losing her battle with breast cancer and was admitted to the hospital the previous night. Her condition was getting worse, so calls were starting to be made. My family started heading over to Spokane, WA--completely on the other side of the state, right away. I was going to go with them, but I just plain couldn't miss the game because it would have left the defense completely isolated with nobody to run them or call in plays or anything, so my family knew it would be a disaster there without me.

To keep this long story from getting becoming a "very long" story, let's jump ahead to the game. I am going to show you drive-by-drive so you can understand the futility our offense showed, as well as the mettle my defense displayed.
-We start with the ball, but then have to punt after 5 plays gaining just 10 yards.
-THEM: 14 plays, 63 yards, TOUCHDOWN. 6-0 them. We stopped their 2-point conversion attempt.
-US: 6 plays, 60 yards, TOUCHDOWN. 7-6 after we make the PAT.
-THEM: 12 plays, 50 yards, we intercepted the ball.
-US: 4 plays, 23 yards, threw an interception.
-THEM: 6 plays, 17 yards, punted to us.
-US: 3 plays, 2 yards, punted to them.
-THEM: 3 plays, gained 6 yards, fumbled. We recovered.
-US: 7 plays, 24 yards, turnover on downs.
-THEM: 6 plays, 17 yards, punted to us.
-US: 3 plays, 6 yards, punted to them.
-THEM: 10 plays, 61 yards, TOUCHDOWN. 12-7 them. We managed to cause a fumble (we recovered) on the 2-point conversion.
---HALFTIME---

So by this point, of the first 30 in-game minutes, our defense had spent about 23 of them on the field, so they were getting pretty tired by the time--especially since (due to injuries and various other things) we only had a total of 15 defensive players--aka 4 subs--and my defensive guys also play all of the special teams.

So...I do my usual yelling and hollering, but it was only half-hearted because I hadn't heard anything about my Aunt since about 11 that morning and I was more than curious, now that I had a little time to think about it, being halftime.

They get the ball to start the second half...
-THEM: 8 plays, 22 yards, we intercepted the ball.
-US: 4 plays, 28 yards, we fumbled the ball and lost it.
-THEM: We caused a fumble on the first play and recovered it (now, by this point you might be thinking, "What the heck, is this pee wee football or something? Nobody can hang on to the ball?" First off, they were slick as it was raining all day, but my guys lay some serious hits on people and they also go for the ball a lot, so it wasn't just some Ringling Brothers Circus stuff).
-US: First play, tried to go deep, threw an interception. Yes, there were turnovers on three straight plays...
-THEM: 7 plays, 3 yards, they punted to us.
-US: I'd like to note that, following the punt return (they punted out of their own endzone), the offense started on the other team's 35. Therefore, they went 7 plays, 35 yards, TOUCHDOWN and we were up again, 14-12.
-THEM: 3 plays, 0 yards, they punted to us.
-US: 2 plays, 11 yards, we...fumbled and lost it.
-THEM: 7 plays, 38 yards, we intercepted the ball.
-US: Offense got the ball on their 33 this time. 6 plays into the drive, having gained just 14 yards, our quarterback got hurt. In comes out backup QB--our Free Safety (he's also the punter lol), who just got that last interception. He ignores the playcall, fakes one way, keeps it and heads the other and flies into the endzone, TOUCHDOWN, 20-12. By this point we feel like defense is having to do everything, as they're actually spending MORE time on the field than in the first half (by this point, halfway through the 4th quarter, they had spent roughly 19 of 23 minutes on the field.
-THEM: 3 plays, -2 yards, they punt to us.
-US: The starting QB is ok, so he comes back in. 4 plays, 2 yards gained, he throws another interception.
-THEM: First play, we intercept the ball.
-US: Check this one out. 15 plays...94 yards...and our QB fumbles on the opposing 3-yard line (after starting on our own 3-yard line)...and loses it...
-THEM: Time is running down, just under two minutes left. Their first play there is broken coverage and the take it 85 yards all of the way down to our 12-yard line. We stop them once, then twice. 3rd down. It still feels like deja vu from last week though, so I almost expect them to score and get the 2-point conversion to send it to overtime, which would stink with the offensive problems.

Just as the next play is about to go, I get a text message. "Aunt LaVerne just passed away at 8:40pm." As I am trying to take that in, I hear the crowd get suddenly loud and wild from the other team scoring the inevitable touchdown...



I look up and see one of our outside linebackers crossing the fifty full speed with five opposing players in tow. I later find out that what I missed was the other team completed a pass and at about the 4-yard line our safety nailed the guy so hard the ball shot into the air and nearly across the field laterally, where our linebacker picked it up and took off about 90 yards for the touchdown.

We ended up winning 27-13 and we're now 3-0, but it was kinda hard to find the enthusiasm to celebrate...
 
Wow YSD. Thats rough. Ill be praying for you and your family bro!
 
Last edited:
I look up and see one of our outside linebackers crossing the fifty full speed with five opposing players in tow. I later find out that what I missed was the other team completed a pass and at about the 4-yard line our safety nailed the guy so hard the ball shot into the air and nearly across the field laterally, where our linebacker picked it up and took off about 90 yards for the touchdown.
Ow that would hurt
 
That game sounded like my high school football game on Friday... but different outcome.
Man sorry about your Aunt. She's in a better place now.
 
Ah poop I had so much on my mind I completely forgot something I wanted to add...

Quick backstory: I sit up in the booth so I can see things well and then I communicate calls with a coach on the sidelines via headset. The following is a list of things I overheard other people saying behind/around him last night...

---"Hey man, I like those anklets." "Thanks, I made them myself."
---"This nail file isn't strong enough."
---"Does anybody know where I can get an entire salmon cheap?"
---"No, he wasn't my guy, that was the Free Safety's." "You are the Free Safety." "No, I meant...no it was...man, I don't know any more."
---"I don't know, I am asking him but he's not responding." "Well your headset isn't even on, coach." "Oh..." *puts his headset on so he can hear me talking to him* "hey man what's up?"
---"...so then she gets home and walks in and we're all around Kyle and he's passed out, covered in glitter glue and..." (Coach J.C.) "Hey so what do you think about calling..." (me:) "Hold on, I want to hear the rest of Joel's story. Just call whatever." (J.C.) "Alright." (Joel) "...in the hot tub, so we start busting up laughing and she's freaking out and then Kyle wakes up and he's thrashing about..." (J.C.) "What the hell are you guys talking about?" (Joel) "Oh just last week after the game."

There was more but I forget it.
 
My Condolences to you and your family.

On another note. Holy moly, you're in my neighborhood. I'm in Lynnwood.
 
My mother has cancer in her left breast and her ovaries, she takes 27 different medications, so I know how tough this is.

It sucks she had to leave this planet..But in the same sense, it's a good thing.
If someone I loved greatly was suffering every day, I'd ask for death to put them out their misery for good, not just to degrade every day.

It sounds harsh, but it's true.

My mom isn't on the death bed yet, but I know it's coming up soon.

On Football notes, hahahahahaa. That's great.
In High School, we(Osceola High School) were playing the number 1 HS team in Florida, Gateway High School. The opposing team caused our main star QB to tear his ACL, causing him to sit out of the most important game of our HS career, the State Finals.

Our Coach was pissed, and when I say pissed, I mean PISSED. We thought he was going to come out on the field, pick up a helmet, and start playing himself.

21-14, their favor during half time. Coach gives us a really frustrating speech, in key quotes "GOD DAMNIT, I WANT EVERY ONE OF YOU <REMOVED> TO HIT AS HARD AS YOU <REMOVED> CAN. *locker smash with fist* ARE YOU ALL LISTENING TO ME?" It was like our Coach just took roids, haha.

Our coach has this technique, where he goes around and slaps everyone in the head. Not hard, but not soft either. Sounds stupid, right? It made our emotions boil and reminded us that this is the final game, go everything or go home.

Half times over, we make it back on the field kicking it off to them. At this point, the grass is completely saturated, one of the lights on the field blew, so their endzone is halfway in dark. It's pouring like crazy. Their receiver returns the kick off, completely obliterating our Specials. It's now 28-14, their favor.

Coach calls time out, brings his defense up. Gives us one more speech, holds the biggest players after sending the rest to the field. Me, being 7'0 and weighing 280 pounds, was one of the people held over.

"Look, you 3 are our biggest defensive players. When I think of bone crashing tackles, I think of you guys. This is the final game, strip the ball, cause injuries, do whatever you must to win, as long as it isn't illegal. I know you guys can do this."

Time out's over, they kick the ball, our Special's return it to their 20.
3 plays 9 yards, 1 yard to go for a first down. Our Offensive coach screams "GO FOR IT!" while the Head coach tells us otherwise. The special teams come out on the field to punt it while our coach calls for substitutions. The special teams go back on the bench, offense comes out. At this point, the coach threw me in with the offense.

Ball snaps, the opposing team rushes. 3 people guarding our second-string QB. Deflective hits after deflective hits, our second-string QB decides to run it. He takes off, getting the first down, but getting annihilated and fumbling the ball at the same time. Our QB got hit so hard he flew to the side lines and slammed into the floor, football goes flying out of bounds.

tl;dr, We ended up winning. 31-28. touchdown and a 3 point field goal.

MVP Play:
I hit the ball carrier so hard as I drive him into the floor, my shoulder pad knocks the ball lose. No one was around to get the ball but us 2 big guys. I told Mannester(6'8 400 pound black man. When you put emotions into a game, you suddenly understand sign language, haha.) to pick up the ball and run with it. He did just that, for being so big, he didn't do too bad. I ran right next to him, preying off 2 people into the floor. He gets stopped within field goal range. We kicked a field goal, 1 second left. This was it, final play. We kicked off the ball, and we charged them, full speed. Crowd's completely silent, all you can hear is the rain and our heads bumping. We caused the receiving team to fumble the ball, and the game was won.
 
YSD dont worry mate I have no hair and it is good, you dont have to pay for hair cuts, if any is left, it dries quicker, you dont even need shampoo. The main thing is, keep up your good work, being bald wont change who you are.
 

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