It all started at 7:00 AM. I was walking around in Paris one day looking for trouble, when I noticed a gigantic missile heading towards the Eiffel tower! I couldn't let this beautiful landmark be wrecked, so I climbed to the top of the tower and jumped off right as the missile was going to make contact. I grabbed onto the rocket and flung it upwards. Before I had a chance to let go, I was already speeding through the atmosphere and into space. I held my breath and looked up, only to see that we were heading right towards the moon! After about three minuets of me holding on for dear life and holding my breath, we crashed on the moon. Luckily, I let go and landed on the moon before the missile made contact, but the explosion flew me miles across the surface. As I flew through the zero gravity, I saw a giant building in the distance. I managed to land right next to the structure, only to realize it was an alien base! I opened a door and took a breath of fresh, relieving air. Then, some green, slimy aliens held their ray guns to my chest and told me to not move. I quickly performed some quick and clean close quarter combat and took care of them. I fought my way through base and found myself in the innermost sanctum, where the mother alien rest. She was huge, green, slimy, had rotten breath, and had a huge ray gun in here hands. She noticed, and realized I was the intruder. We fought, me coming out on top, of course. But before I made the final blow, she triggered the self destruct system! The entire base was about to explode! Luckily, the charges were placed around the perimeter of the base, so the explosion knocked us up, and we gravitated back to earth. Knowing that I would burn up coming back to earth, I clinged onto the queen aliens back and used her as a shield from the fire and gasses. By the time we entered the atmosphere, all that was left of the beast was ashes, except her ray gun. I grabbed the amazing piece of machinery , hoping that it would somehow save me from the fall from the sky. I then realized I was above the very same building that launched the missile at Paris in the first place! I aimed my ray gun, fired, and the whole place became dust. I then landed into the ocean swam my way to Australia, bought a plane ticket and some orange chicken from panda express, flew back to Colorado, and here I am.
So, not much.