Leave of Absence
- Thread starter Hav0k
- Start date
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2008
- Messages
- 11,744
Best of luck and return soon!
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2013
- Messages
- 1,677
Life comes first, come back soon and when you're ready!
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2010
- Messages
- 9,709
Good luck we be here waiting.
Spent a good 8 days in the psych ward. Had the last 10 years weighing down on my heart and weighing down on my back. Was closing in on myself and it felt great to finally talk to some people about it. They diagnosed me with PTSD (PostTraumatic Stress Disorder).
Was taking a shower one day, it was close to lunch time, had 3 hot nurses searching for me, told them they could have hopped in. LOL
My dad was raised by his grandparents and was thought not to talk about his feelings, was having a hard time dealing with deaths of close ones.
Had surgery on April 17th 2003 (Thursday before easter) and it was my first time taking painkillers (Tylenol #3 with Codeine).
-Lost an uncle to cancer April 20th 2003 (Easter Sunday)
-Lost a best friend in a car accident May 1st 2003; another was seriously injured (about a month before graduation; he was 17 and very proud to have touched his first boob
)
-My father had a stroke December 2003, a few days before Christmas, spent most of the Holidays with the family in the hospital
-Lost my maternal grandmother May 2004 (close to Mother's day); grandfather went down to the basement to shoot some pool and he found her on the floor when he came back upstairs; grandfather has been at the hospital for the past 2 years
-Lost a cousin (same age as my brother; we were all real close growing up) in a work accident late 2004 (October / November)
Dates start getting fuzzy after that....can't quite remember the years or the months
-Lost 2 uncles back to back (maybe 2-3months apart) to throat and lung cancer.
-Lost another uncle (my brother's godfather); heart condition I believe.
-Lost an uncle (the father of my cousin who passed away) on September 22, 2013. He had received a box full of his son's stuff a few weeks earlier.
That last death pushed me over the edge, shattered my heart, brought all the other ones back to memory.
I had 2 surgeries; one in December 2007 for a hernia, the other on January 6 2009 for testicular torsion (google it if you want; it ain't pretty). Took Doctor's 4 months to find out what was wrong with me (something they usually diagnose within a few hours). An ultrasound saved my life (Thank You Dr. Chu!) but I am left with only one testicle and chances of having children have dropped to about 80%.
Was diagnosed with chronic pain in March of 2009 (damaged spermatic nerve) and spent 2 years trying different painkillers (nothing too heavy BUT most of them were anti-depressants which had been proven in some cases to treat chronic pain). I've learnt to deal with the pain over the years and am glad to say I no longer take medication for it.
I had been having trouble sleeping for the past few years, was having a hard time falling asleep, a hard time staying asleep. I would wake up some days crying, other days I could have destroyed everything around me.
I had been smoking marijuana for the past 13 years. At first it was only on weekends or at parties, and in small quantities. When I went to college it became an everyday thing. About 6-7 years ago it was to numb my pain, help me forget my troubles and my pain. The last few years I can admit to abusing it, becoming dependant on it, it was becoming a problem.
I have been sober for the past 2 weeks, sometimes it's hard to deal with the emotions, but my stay helped me realise a few things about my life. I read 2 great books while I was hospitalized, the first was called "Lachez Prise" (Letting Go), the second was called "Grandir, Aimer, Perdre, et Grandir" (Growing, Loving, Losing, and Growing) (was hospitalized in a french town, as it is the only psych ward in the region).
I am finally getting the rest I need (Psychiatrist prescribed 2 different sleeping aids, one to help fall asleep, the other to help stay asleep). For those of you who don't know, the last 2-3 stages of sleep are the most important as your body releases hormones to repair itself, I hadn't been hitting those stages for a long time.
I hope that my experiences can help some of you. TALK! It helps a great deal.
I am still working on myself, trying to find the old me, and I thank you all for the warm wishes.
Was taking a shower one day, it was close to lunch time, had 3 hot nurses searching for me, told them they could have hopped in. LOL
My dad was raised by his grandparents and was thought not to talk about his feelings, was having a hard time dealing with deaths of close ones.
Had surgery on April 17th 2003 (Thursday before easter) and it was my first time taking painkillers (Tylenol #3 with Codeine).
-Lost an uncle to cancer April 20th 2003 (Easter Sunday)
-Lost a best friend in a car accident May 1st 2003; another was seriously injured (about a month before graduation; he was 17 and very proud to have touched his first boob
)-My father had a stroke December 2003, a few days before Christmas, spent most of the Holidays with the family in the hospital
-Lost my maternal grandmother May 2004 (close to Mother's day); grandfather went down to the basement to shoot some pool and he found her on the floor when he came back upstairs; grandfather has been at the hospital for the past 2 years
-Lost a cousin (same age as my brother; we were all real close growing up) in a work accident late 2004 (October / November)
Dates start getting fuzzy after that....can't quite remember the years or the months
-Lost 2 uncles back to back (maybe 2-3months apart) to throat and lung cancer.
-Lost another uncle (my brother's godfather); heart condition I believe.
-Lost an uncle (the father of my cousin who passed away) on September 22, 2013. He had received a box full of his son's stuff a few weeks earlier.
That last death pushed me over the edge, shattered my heart, brought all the other ones back to memory.
I had 2 surgeries; one in December 2007 for a hernia, the other on January 6 2009 for testicular torsion (google it if you want; it ain't pretty). Took Doctor's 4 months to find out what was wrong with me (something they usually diagnose within a few hours). An ultrasound saved my life (Thank You Dr. Chu!) but I am left with only one testicle and chances of having children have dropped to about 80%.
Was diagnosed with chronic pain in March of 2009 (damaged spermatic nerve) and spent 2 years trying different painkillers (nothing too heavy BUT most of them were anti-depressants which had been proven in some cases to treat chronic pain). I've learnt to deal with the pain over the years and am glad to say I no longer take medication for it.
I had been having trouble sleeping for the past few years, was having a hard time falling asleep, a hard time staying asleep. I would wake up some days crying, other days I could have destroyed everything around me.
I had been smoking marijuana for the past 13 years. At first it was only on weekends or at parties, and in small quantities. When I went to college it became an everyday thing. About 6-7 years ago it was to numb my pain, help me forget my troubles and my pain. The last few years I can admit to abusing it, becoming dependant on it, it was becoming a problem.
I have been sober for the past 2 weeks, sometimes it's hard to deal with the emotions, but my stay helped me realise a few things about my life. I read 2 great books while I was hospitalized, the first was called "Lachez Prise" (Letting Go), the second was called "Grandir, Aimer, Perdre, et Grandir" (Growing, Loving, Losing, and Growing) (was hospitalized in a french town, as it is the only psych ward in the region).
I am finally getting the rest I need (Psychiatrist prescribed 2 different sleeping aids, one to help fall asleep, the other to help stay asleep). For those of you who don't know, the last 2-3 stages of sleep are the most important as your body releases hormones to repair itself, I hadn't been hitting those stages for a long time.
I hope that my experiences can help some of you. TALK! It helps a great deal.
I am still working on myself, trying to find the old me, and I thank you all for the warm wishes.
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